


The Book of Giordynne

by hopecountyink



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Adopted Children, Amnesia, Amputation, Arson, Backstory, Blood and Gore, Consensual Sex, Cults, Dismemberment, Dissociation, Drunk Sex, Early in Canon, Eloping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Forced Mutilation, Gaslighting, Gore, Graphic Description, Graphic Description of Corpses, Gun Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Implied/Referenced Cannibalism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Murder, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Medical Trauma, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Disintegration, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Military Background, Murder, Near Death Experiences, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Oral Sex, Original Character-centric, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Psychological Warfare, References to Depression, Religious Fanaticism, Restraints, Sex, Staged Crime Scene, Starvation, Survival Horror, Survivor Guilt, Traumatic Brain Injury, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:34:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 96,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25755190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopecountyink/pseuds/hopecountyink
Summary: ***Notice - Taking a small break from updates for October and November so I can get Preptober/NaNoWriMo out of the way. Updates will resume after NaNo, so beginning of December***Basically a timeline of events and the development of both Giordynne's (my OC) relationship with Eden's Gate on the larger scale, and more specifically with Jacob Seed. Events begin in 2008, not long after Eden's Gate set up residence in Hope County. As such, many of the circumstances that are present in-game have not yet happened, e.g; Rachel Jessop is not the incumbent Faith, the substance that would later become the Bliss is in its earliest stages of development, and people aren't being kidnapped and tortured wholesale by either John or Jacob yet.Giordynne is the daughter of Casey Fixman (the cook at the Spread Eagle who gives the player the Testy Festy missions in-game) and is Falls End's resident tattoo artist.This is mostly just me compiling my notes in chapter form at the moment, so please consider it a first draft :)
Relationships: Jacob Seed/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 38





	1. Revelation

“You’ve felt it too, haven’t you?”

The words echoed in her head whenever there was a quiet moment, wedging themselves into her consciousness any time there was a lull in the conversation, a pause between songs on the jukebox, the time alone in the shower or in bed at night with nothing but the crickets and cicadas for a soundtrack.

She’d never been on to have much of a relationship with God, and every time she got let down, by people or by the world, it just cemented the feeling in her that there was nobody out there listening to those myriad prayers and pleas for divine intervention. Giordynne had never felt that feeling so strongly as she did in recent months. Sure, she’d taken a sizeable knock when she’d lost her leg, but she felt like she had bounced back from that for the most part, even if some of her actions following her return suggested otherwise. No, it was what had followed that had pulled the rug out from under her the hardest of all, and the guilt and self-blame gnawed at her daily, regardless of anyone else’s reassurance that it wasn’t her fault; just one of those things that happens sometimes. The words made no difference though when she swore she could see it in their eyes that they all thought that it wouldn’t have happened if she hadn’t got mixed up with “that Kirby kid”. GiGi didn’t blame Aaron. Yeah, he was kind of fucked up and had his own shit to deal with, but he had a good heart, even if it was broken and self-medicated. That was part of the reason she liked him in the first place; he just understood her darkest parts because they matched his own. It wasn’t Aaron’s fault, or at least she didn’t blame him at all.

GiGi was a full-grown adult who could damn well make her own choices in life, even if they were bad ones, and this one had blown up spectacularly in her face. She hadn’t even known she was pregnant until she woke up in the hospital the next county over, having apparently collapsed and suffered a haemorrhage as a result of a miscarriage. To be faced with the news and to be told she was lucky to be alive was surreal to her, and she spent the ensuing weeks in a daze, trying to wrap her head around it.

A full year and a half had passed since then. Things had fallen apart with Aaron in the wake of their loss, with him throwing himself even further headlong into his addiction, while Giordynne had, out of shock and guilt, been resolute at going cold turkey, despite recommendations she at least enters into a programme to help her get clean under medical supervision.

Most days, she could handle that creeping feeling by throwing herself into her work, but others, when things got slow, it caught up with her.

Then one day, something shifted. GiGi had a new client at the studio, Joseph Seed.

The appointment had been fairly typical at first. Giordynne always chatted with her clients as she inked them, and had gotten to know the vast majority of residents in the county that way, but the people of the Project at Eden’s Gate had made a point of mostly keeping to themselves beyond being seen from time to time preaching to the locals, which had become a bit of a joke to some of them, and an outright annoyance to others.

Giordynne had seen no reason to turn away a paying customer though, regardless of whether they were part of a group who seemed odd to most residents. As far as GiGi was concerned, they were just a bunch of religious folks minding their own business and buying up some of the abandoned properties in the county.

After a couple of hours of casual conversation and working away at the piece Joseph had requested, he had paused briefly before inquiring if he could ask a personal question. GiGi said sure, half absorbed in concentration and not anticipating what was coming.

“Why do you seem so sad, my child?”

It caught her off guard enough that she stopped working on the tattoo for a long moment, her expression morphing quickly through several emotions as her brain processed what she’d been asked, before settling on a look of being disarmed and ashamed for being so.

“My apologies. Perhaps that is too personal to ask.” Joseph backtracked, seeing that his question had opened a much deeper wound than appeared at first.

Giordynne didn’t respond immediately, though the glassiness of her eyes as tears threatened to break through her measured demeanour told more than she would have liked, and she realised that she wouldn’t be able to skirt around such a visceral response.

“No, it’s fine,” she attempted to lie, “I- I’ve just been having kinda a rough time is all.”

Joseph nodded, his expression never wavering from a tentative but sympathetic calmness.

“I see. Well, Giordynne, I’m sure you’ve probably been asked this a thousand times, but would you like to talk about it? You can say no. You can even tell me to mind my own business if you wish to. I promise I won’t be offended if you do.”

Giving her the option to shut down the conversation if she wanted to wasn’t something Giordynne had experienced much of in her life. Usually, if someone overstepped the mark, it was met by a stony look and a sharp tongue to re-establish her boundaries, but Joseph was excusing himself from opening the cage door and letting her decide what she wanted to do about it.

She was quiet again for what seemed like an age, though it was really only a few seconds before she let out a heaving sigh, her shoulders dropping as her teeth worried at her lip, a clear sign of anxiety that had been her tell since childhood.

Then came the slightest of a resigned nod.

Giordynne didn’t know why she was picking this moment to open up, but maybe it was a little part of her that recognised she needed to shrug off a little of the weight before it built up further, became unmanageable and took her down a road she’d regret later on.

Joseph had already made silent note of any visible clues, from GiGi’s rather-well-camouflaged prosthesis to the scattering of bumps and scars that hid among the tattoos on her arms. Whatever this girl had been through, at least some of it had left an indelible mark apparent to a trained eye, though he suspected that was just the tip of the iceberg, as was the case with many who came to Eden’s Gate.

“I don’t even know where to start,” GiGi sniffled, struggling to regain her composure and feeling rather exposed for it.

“I find it helps best to start at the beginning, even if that might seem irrelevant.” Joseph soothed, offering a faint smile of encouragement.

Giordynne couldn’t argue with the logic in that, so, with another great sigh and straightening herself up, she began to tell her story as she went back to working on Joseph’s tattoo to keep her centred as she spoke, beginning with her childhood and her parents' divorce, through the problems with her mother through some of the most formative years of her adolescence, her time in the military, her discharge, and finally the most recent of her pains.

By the time she reached the end of her story, GiGi felt lighter in a way she hadn’t felt in a long time. She still wasn’t happy by any stretch, but getting everything off her chest to someone who was, for all intents and purposes, a stranger who had listened patiently, and to find sympathy and support rather than judgement, was refreshing, and she repaid the favour in kind as Joseph reciprocated and told her his own story of pain, loss, and searching for light in the world.

Giordynne couldn’t place why talking to Joseph felt like she was speaking with someone she had known her whole life, but the familiarity was comforting. Even when Joseph steered the conversation toward his beliefs and how he came upon them in his journey. Though Joseph clearly seemed devout in a way GiGi had never been, the way he talked about the pervasive sense of dread and apprehension in the world struck a chord with her. She didn’t need to believe in God to pay attention to things going on around her. It was written plain as day in every newspaper, on every tv and radio station, splashed across social media. It was undeniable to her. She had seen the very worst of people, had seen war and suffering first hand, so it wasn’t very much of a stretch for her to see how Joseph could take to interpreting scripture as a means to understand the very events happening in their lifetime.

When time came to settle payment for the artwork, Joseph invited her to come to hear a sermon sometime. At the moment, GiGi politely refused but thanked him anyway. He simply smiled and nodded, leaving the invitation open indefinitely, should she ever feel like she needed it, again giving her the freedom to choose before he departed.


	2. Indecision

The drawn-out strains of the opening of Bela Lugosi’s Dead drifted over the growl of the ’84 Chevy Silverado pickup’s engine as the vehicle cruised the empty roads of the Whitetail National Park in the long shadows cast by twilight rolling in, setting an apt backdrop to Giordynne’s mood.

She’d closed shop early since she had no clients booked and it didn’t look like she’d get any walk-ins. No matter, she was hardly in the frame of mind to care, preoccupied with the all-too-familiar itch beneath her skin that had been plaguing her since everything went to shit and she’d cut out cold turkey everything fucking her up from the outside, though this wasn’t the type of craving that came along with withdrawals. It was the kind that ran deeper, to the bone. Bad habits were easy to break for her when there were practical solutions, but when the problem was emotional, not physical, that’s when shit got real, and so she took to driving to try to clear her head.

It had really gotten dark by the time she crossed over the McKinley Dam, almost on autopilot from driving this route so many times. Whatever reverie she’d been caught in shattered abruptly when a flash of grey fur darted across the road ahead of her, GiGi barely managing to slam on the brakes in time to avoid hitting the animal.

Startled and shaken, Giordynne took a moment to compose herself, catching sight of a distinctively wolf-like shape moving into the undergrowth by the side of the road.

“Stupid fucking mutt!” she muttered, not actually angry at the wolf for just going about its business. She was madder at herself for not even noticing she wasn’t paying attention until it was almost too late.

“Get it together, Giordynne.”

Turning off the radio to allow her to concentrate and avoid another accident, she drove on, coming up on the old water filtration plant that had closed a couple of summers ago. Giordynne had assumed the place was still abandoned, so it puzzled her when she saw a small convoy of white trucks with the insignia for Eden’s Gate pull out of the place and head in the direction of the Drubman Marina.

Curious, and with nothing much better to do, GiGi began to follow, keeping an inconspicuous distance behind so she didn’t draw attention to herself and didn’t feel like such a creeper.

She tailed the trucks all the way down into the Henbane region, watching as the convoy rolled up to the gate of a field, empty aside from a white marquee that had been erected at the end of the winding dirt track that stretched up from the gate. The marquee was lit up with a golden glow from strings of lights hung from the support poles of the canopy that seemed like a beacon in the darkness.

The gate had been left open by the convoy and there were now other vehicles gathering too, both with Eden’s Gate’s livery and unmarked, their drivers all filing into the marquee.

A sudden feeling of apprehension gripped Giordynne, realising that she had stumbled upon what was likely one of the sermons Joseph Seed had invited her to some weeks beforehand. Killing the engine, she sat in her truck, watching a dozen or so more people arrive, unable to decide either way over whether to leave or take up the invitation Joseph had left open for her.

Giordynne chided herself for acting like a fool. She wasn’t religious and she damn well knew this with certainty. And yet…

Something inside reminded her how soothed and understood she’d felt the last time she had spoken to Joseph, and that just made her wonder if maybe she could get that feeling back, at least just to appease the anxiety and distraction she’d been feeling all afternoon.

“What’ve you really got to lose?” she asked herself, talking herself around by telling herself that talking to Joseph as a friend and getting a little comfort and reassurance didn’t mean she had to acknowledge the Almighty or anything.

That settled it. Where was the harm in just coming and hearing the guy talk for a while if it calmed her down?

She locked her truck and left it by the gate so as not to make her feel as much like she was intruding, and trekked a straight line through the overgrown grass and patches of wild wheat that had taken over since the field had ceased to be tended until she reached where the dirt track curved back toward the marquee.

The sermon was well underway by the time Giordynne got there, and she felt a little embarrassed as she crept inside, standing at the back, close to the exit in case she lost her nerve and needed to bolt.

Joseph spotted her from the small stage that had been set up inside, not breaking stride for a moment on his sermon, though he acknowledged her presence with a soft smile and a small nod as he continued, book in one hand and rosary coiled around the other, speaking of all the hate and pain in the world, how Eden’s Gate was a shelter from those things, and how it would keep them all safe through all hardships that were to come.

Giordynne couldn’t lie, some of what Joseph said seemed a little out there, but she admired his passion over his beliefs, and the more outlandish parts were few compared to the truths he spoke about the current state of things.

By the time the sermon finished, Giordynne had regained some of the sense of comfort she had experienced in her previous interaction with Joseph, though she still felt like an outsider among so many who seemed so devout and she couldn’t shake that discomfort, even as the congregation broke into smaller groups to chat and share refreshments, so she stepped outside into the night air to escape the imagined feeling of everyone looking at her.

Only a few moments passed before another figure appeared outside. A tall, red-haired man in a camouflage jacket with the sleeves rolled halfway up scarred arms strode past her, hefting a jerry can, paying no mind as he approached the small generator toward the far end of the marquee that was powering the lights and some other electrical equipment inside and topped its fuel tank up. It wasn’t until after he’d finished this small task that he acknowledged she was there.

“You’re new,” he commented, his voice undercut with a slight rasp.

Giordynne felt the prickle of a blush wash over her as she stood awkwardly, half wishing she’d bolted immediately after the sermon instead of hanging around for some unknown reason.

“You must be the tattoo artist my brother has been singing praises about,” the man continued, appraising the collection of ink she herself had on display.

“Oh, uh- yeah,” was all GiGi could muster for a moment, vaguely relieved at her tattoo work being brought up.

“Don’t worry. You’re not the first person to wonder what the hell you’re doing coming all the way out here to hear my brother talk, and I don’t think you’ll be the last.”

“You’re Joseph’s brother? Oh! Nice to meet you, I guess?”

Gods, she wanted the ground to open and swallow her right now. Not since high school had she ever felt so out of her element and uncomfortable.

“Jacob,” he stated matter-of-factly, putting down the jerry can and wiping the palms of his hands roughly over the surface of his jeans. “And you are?”

“Giordynne,” she answered, tentatively extending a hand, though she immediately felt like she should retract it.

GiGi didn’t get the chance, however, as Jacob had already taken hold of it, his hand wrapping easily around hers in a firm shake.

“So, Giordynne, what did make you follow my trucks all the way out here? Pardon me saying, but you don’t look like the sort of person who usually comes to us.” Jacob quizzed, making a point of letting her know that he knew she’d been tailing the convoy, but not to embarrass her. He simply just wanted to see her reaction.

Her eyes widened before she looked away, trying to hide her red face.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” she confessed with a shrug, deciding to be flat out honest after being busted. “I guess it was just the way he spoke to me when he came into my shop for a tattoo.”

“Sounds about right,” Jacob nodded, a slight huff of a laugh carrying the words as he looked her up and down, then silence fell between them that lasted just a hair too long for Giordynne’s comfort.

Biting her lip, she let out a soft growled sigh.

“Look, let’s just address the elephant in the room now, shall we?”

Jacob stood up a little straighter, his eyes narrowing inquisitively.

“Shrapnel injury. The base I was stationed at just south of Kabul got hit. 2005.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to ask, but alright. Afghanistan, huh? Now that makes a whole lot more sense.”

“That’s not why I’m here,” Giordynne argued, “I just… Like I said, I don’t know why. Fuck, I don’t even believe in God, so…”

Jacob huffed again, taking a couple of steps closer.

“You know, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Not everyone here believes in God. What they do believe in is Joseph, and that’s more than enough for them. Do you believe in my brother, Giordynne?”

“That’s what I’m still trying to figure out,” she answered, a resigned light crossing her features.

“Well I hope you find your answer soon,” he responded, moving back toward the marquee entrance as Joseph appeared to greet her.

Before she could say another word, Jacob Seed had disappeared back inside and Joseph had taken his place, all smiles and thanking her for finally taking up his invitation.


	3. Disintegration

“I’ve got some bad news, kiddo. Just got word your Mom passed away. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

Giordynne’s reaction wasn’t what she had expected it would be all those times she’d imagined the day those words were said. She always told herself that it wouldn’t matter. That she wouldn’t care. After all, she hadn’t spoken to that woman in almost twenty years after all the shit she’d been put through. Still, the rest of the phone call from her dad turned into a blur. She was sure that she had spoken for at least a solid fifteen minutes, but she sure as shit couldn’t remember most of what was said. All she could recall after those words were spoken was putting the cordless phone back in its cradle on the kitchen wall and slumping to the floor in stunned silence.

After that, time became meaningless. She didn’t know how long she sat there, cycling through shock, numbness and an angry sense of betrayal that didn’t seem to make any sense in the context she was feeling it in.

Maybe she was mad that she never got to confront her mother about the neglect and bullshit that had been heaped on her those five years out in Arizona. Maybe it was some small part that remained of the child in her that had clung onto better memories, suddenly feeling the terror of being small and lost without that rose-tinted spectre of Mommy there to hug her close, stroke her hair and soothe away all the frightening things in the world.

If she hadn’t been walking a knife-edge already before that fateful call, she was now, and the path had narrowed to surgical sharpness, cutting deep and sucking the air from her lungs as the room around her felt like it had swung sideways, tearing loose the mooring of every last thread she’d been frantically clinging to these last few weeks, the claws of her demons wasting no time in taking the opportunity to reach up from the void to catch her in freefall.

Before Giordynne could stop herself, those same demons had hijacked her thinking, pulling her body up from the floor, grabbing her keys and jumping in her truck with only one thing in mind.

The pickup’s engine growled hard as she put her foot down, tearing past empty fields and woodland, thick tires screeching on asphalt on the corners where she barely bothered stepping on the brake pedal, then thudding over the wooden planks and beams of the bridge to the other side.

She knew exactly where she was headed, her hunger guiding her without so much as a cautious glance to check the road, no care nor thought given to slow down, lest she wrapped her truck around a tree or go off the road into the river. As far as Giordynne was concerned, if that happened tonight, all the better.

The crumbling husk of Prosperity loomed ahead, palely illuminated by the moon, giving the ghost town an eerie countenance.

Giordynne’s truck ground to a halt with a crunch of gravel under rubber and she slammed the door as she dove out, screaming her ex’s name but getting no response.

It didn’t matter. Not only did she know exactly where Aaron kept his stash, but she still had the spare key he’d given her. Not a smart move on either of their parts, but that was beside the point at the moment as Giordynne slipped the key into the lock and twisted while shoving the old, half-rotten door with her shoulder and forcing it open with a grunt.

Inside was pitch black and silent as the grave, oddly insulated from the sound of all the night creatures that roamed the wilds of Hope County. Aaron had once said that he chose the place specifically for that reason; it was his perfect little escape from the noise, both real and inside his head.

Something crunched underfoot. Giordynne didn’t know if it was fallen plaster or a small fragment of a broken beer bottle as she made a beeline to the old, half-busted dresser in the corner, barely picking out the shape of it in the gloom, but she knew the room from memory, and it had changed very little from the last time she came here, save for being littered with more drug paraphernalia than before. Nothing particularly dangerous though. Aaron had always been surprisingly conscientious of things like that, even when he was out of his fucking gourd on one thing or another.

Giordynne yanked open the second drawer down and traced a finger along the inside to the corner, locating the hole that let her lift the piece of wood she’d shown Aaron how to use as a false bottom to hide his shit.

Only now did she take out her cell phone to use as a flashlight, the bluish glow of the screen revealing a dozen or so baggies of contraband, a couple of well-used pipes, a box of clean syringes and a well worn and dog-eared paperback copy of The Psychedelic Experience by Timothy Leary. Giordynne had no interest in most of the bags of drugs, though she hovered briefly over the one containing at least two dozen ecstasy tablets before deciding she wanted something that got her much further out of her head than that.

Picking up the book, she flipped it open to find around half a sheet of blotter acid tucked carefully inside, one edge jagged and clearly where Aaron had been tearing his doses from, and Giordynne was fairly certain that he wouldn’t even notice if she took a few for herself.

The only other viable option she could see in the stash was a baggy of fine white crystals that was helpfully marked with a solitary letter “K” in black sharpie.

Putting the book back, she grabbed the baggy instead. Sure, Aaron might notice that missing over the LSD, but since there was only one other person that knew where the stash was kept, Giordynne knew he’d figure out she’d been there. The only problem with that, however, would be that he’d also figure out she was in a bad way, and she didn’t really want to see him in the state she was in, since he’d make a fuss and she couldn’t handle that right now. She just needed to get away from herself, even more so than everyone else.

Giordynne slipped the bag into her pocket and put everything else back exactly how she’d found it, picking her way back across the room to the door. Now all she had to do was decide where she was going to hole up to get wasted.

Going back to her apartment was out of the question. It was far too close to the Spread Eagle, and there was no way in hell Giordynne wanted Casey to come to check in on her and find her fucked up and tripping balls on the kitchen floor or some shit, and rural Montana was hardly the kind of place that was safe enough from the local wildlife to sprawl out under the stars in the middle of a field and disappear down the rabbit hole.

She needed somewhere that she would neither be attacked by wolves or cougars, nor likely found by another human being. Somewhere close by was also a preference, since she didn’t really want to be driving all over the county all night just to get high.

Heading north, past the jail, an idea struck her. She remembered there was an old nature trail up near Angels Peak that had a couple of cabins on it the scout troop used to use when she was a kid, and chances were, at this time of night, there wouldn’t be a soul in sight up there. It also had the added bonus of being a secure roof over her head that just so happened to provide a bed for her to crash in until the morning, though maybe even longer if the comedown was particularly harsh and she didn’t feel like facing the world until she’d slept most of it off.

As fucked up luck would have it, she’d been right in her assumption. The cabins were empty, though locked, that was hardly much of an obstacle when windows were so easily broken.

Gaining entry, Giordynne climbed inside, thankful to find that someone had conveniently left a couple of old oil lamps lying around to give her something to see by other than the harsh light of her cell phone. There was even a mirror in the bathroom that lifted off a small nail in the wall with no trouble whatsoever.

How this place hadn’t become a drug den long before now was anyone’s best guess, but Giordynne was going to make the most of it, dragging a mattress off one of the bunks onto the floor, getting about as comfortable as she could get in the given circumstances and decanting some of the crystalline powder out onto the mirror’s surface, cutting a few delicate lines with one of her credit cards and rolling up a twenty.

Her sobriety had been successful long enough that the drug hit hard, almost like the first time she’d tried it, her nose stinging and head throbbing briefly before the flood of relief took her down like a tsunami. Giordynne’s heart pounded in her chest like a bird beating itself against the bars of its cage trying to free itself, giving her momentary pause that maybe she should have only done one of the lines she cut instead of all three in quick succession. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to care if she overdosed, but once the high gained ground, all thought of that possibility slipped away with the roll of euphoria that took over, the backdrop of the cabin melting away as she flopped back onto the mattress and shut her eyes.

Whether she was dreaming or hallucinating, Giordynne could no longer tell the difference as the drug in her system conjured shape, sound and colour and the real world disappeared from her senses, bringing her the bliss of numbness she’d been seeking from her pain.

The visions took her to a place that felt high up, the wind rushing by as she stood over a yawning chasm. The scene felt mildly threatening as it progressed, but the stars spun in the sky and her feet carried her weightlessly over creaking boards, the motion feeling both sped up and slowed almost to nothing as she felt like she could see herself from outside her own body, moonlight streaming through the canopy of trees that greeted her and beckoned her deeper into their shade.

If time existed, Giordynne wasn’t aware of it. Only sensation and glimpses of scenery bent and twisted beyond the boundaries of her physical senses. There were noises that sounded like a sweet song to her at first, but she grew fearful when they became drowned out by howls and the snapping of jaws, flashes of red and white, and sharp teeth piercing her bliss as the trip took a sour turn, the landscape growing dark, lonely and frightening. Giordynne had lost all sense of her physical body, unsure and unknowing if she remained back at the cabin, or if she’d left the confines of reality entirely and gone too far out into the universe.

The fear that gripped her at that moment carried her suddenly, what remained of her consciousness taking off at speed as distorted voices carried on the wind to her, whispering in tongues, making threats and telling her all the things she was afraid to hear.

Her terror grew exponentially with every new hallucination that came, and she barely noticed when she lost her footing and took a tumble, the horizon already swimming in her vision before the horrors closed in, though she must have sensed something through the fog as she became aware briefly of pain through her fear, and lights, blinding her like hellish fireflies that danced before her eyes, only serving to confuse her further as the urge to flee came again, stronger than before as her delirium peaked, her ears thudding with a rhythmic sound like war drums as the hallucinations closed in on her.

Outside of Giordynne’s terrifying hallucination, her body had reacted physically to them, no longer in the safe confines of the cabin. The lights that had blinded her were from a vehicle, and the driver had barely had time to react and swerve to avoid hitting the ghost of the girl caught like a deer in the headlights, screeching to a stop just beyond, the sound of both the driver and passenger side doors quickly opening and slamming in succession.

Giordynne processed none of this in any sort of logical way, scrambling frantically away as shadows approached, speaking in tones she didn’t understand, reaching out for her as she backed away, unable to see the faces of the two, though she didn’t get far as one caught hold of her wrist.

She fought hard, trying to tear free, but she was held fast, the grip on her arm spreading until it coiled around her and stopped her in her tracks, Giordynne still struggling futilely for her life, screaming herself raw as the second shadow moved about in the lights, going away and then returning, speaking to her again despite her inability to recognise anything. Moments later, her vision began to fade, and her cries became a defeated whimper as her body gave out and went limp, blackness closing in and rescuing her finally from her self-induced terror.


	4. Mediation

Thin filaments of early morning sunlight pierced through missed spots from when the windows had been painted black, the shards of illumination suspended on dust motes that drifted silently through the still air in the room.

Somewhere else in the belly of the building, the occasional sound of activity, though muffled and muted through concrete, old pipework and years of decay, disturbed the quiet, though not enough to wake the sleeping form in the room on the top floor, far away from almost all other occupants save the one who had been tasked with watching over her until there was the certainty that she would make it through the night.

It had been almost dawn before that certainty came. Between the state she’d been found in and the worry that whatever she’d taken of would have a dangerous reaction to the sedation they’d given her to prevent any further injury, it was no small miracle that her heart hadn’t given out under the strain of near-overdose. Still, it was decided that it was best to allow her to convalesce somewhere quiet and with constant supervision, while also being secure enough to prevent her from finding her way back out into the wilderness and almost-certain death, either by her own misadventure or at the mercy of the numerous predatory animals that roamed freely beyond the walls.

The sun had risen well above the mountains by the time Giordynne began to stir; a flicker of her eyelids preceding movement that was halted by pain and then confusion. As consciousness washed in, so did the awareness that she hurt all over, and that brought her round fast, eyes snapping open and darting around her surroundings as her mind picked up briefly where it had left off the night before, half-remembering hallucinated terror with no context or shape before it allowed her to process her abrupt return to the waking world.

As Giordynne took a moment to assess the situation, she discovered the source of her pain in the form of several injuries she’d seemingly acquired, as well as them having apparently been treated and dressed while she was out.

The room she was in had all of the hallmarks of a hospital ward, although, if it was a hospital, it was either one of the most decrepit and run down she’d ever seen or it hadn’t been used as such in a considerable amount of time, the latter being her best guess given that the room was large enough to house several patients, but hers was the only bed remaining, and there was very little by way of any other furniture beyond a nightstand by the bed and a single metal chair a short distance away that looked like it had been positioned so that someone could sit and keep an eye on her as she slept.

She was a little alarmed to find that the clothes she’d been wearing had also been replaced by a simple hospital gown, but at least she still had her underwear on, even if whoever had brought her here and treated her wounds had stripped her down and also removed her prosthesis, which they’d left propped against the nightstand within reach, but it still felt like an intrusion to her.

Giordynne reached down to retrieve it, only to find one of her wrists connected to a length of chain attached to the bedframe, spiking her anxiety all over again. Whoever had found her definitely didn’t want her leaving again in a hurry, and she was caught between outrage and utter panic at how the hell she was supposed to get out of there, especially as a blinking red light up in the corner of the room drew her attention to a surveillance camera pointed directly at her, making her feel distinctly like she’d found herself in the middle of a god-damned horror movie and she was about to lose another body part or two.

She looked around the room again for something, anything she could either use as a weapon or at least to help her slip her chain and escape from whatever this place was.

Pulling on her prosthesis, she decided the first course of action would be to test just how much chain she had to play with and whether she could drag the bedframe over to one of the windows without making too much noise and getting any unwanted attention from her captor.

Her heart sank when she found that the bed was bolted to the floor, though, surprisingly, there was enough chain for her to walk freely a sizeable diameter around the bed. Not quite all the way to either the door or the window, but if she strained as far as her wrist would allow her, she could almost see through a larger gap in the window paint into what looked like a courtyard below, though it still didn’t give her tangible clue as to where she was, or even if she was still in Hope County.

A faint whirring sound had her realising that the camera had turned to follow her, telling Giordynne instantly that whoever was holding her was watching right at that moment.

That pricked up her indignation far beyond her fear as she paced back to the centre of the room, looked right into the camera and made sure that whoever was watching knew damn well that she knew.

“Hey, asshole! I don’t know what sick fucking game you think you’re playing right now, but you better let me out or I’ll make you live to regret it,” she threatened with the attitude of a cornered bobcat. Sure, it might have been mostly bravado in a moment of fear, but it was all that she had and she hoped her bluff would be convincing enough to at least give her captor pause about trying anything stupid with five foot five inches of pissed off, one-legged tattoo lady.

Her bluster wavered momentarily when a door opened and closed in the hallway outside and heavy footsteps approached, stopping outside hers before the lock clicked and popped and the door swung open.

Giordynne had been ready to launch as best an assault as she could on whoever was coming through the door, but the sight stopped her in her tracks before she even got any traction.

The shape of Jacob Seed filled Giordynne’s exit, just shy of an entire foot taller than her, and almost as wide as the doorway he occupied, arms folded over his chest and an almost smug look of amusement on his face that was clearly over the threat she’d made on camera.

Though she was still mad at being held captive, her anger had dissipated a good measure in those scant seconds between them, Giordynne secretly half glad that the likelihood of her ending up re-enacting a Saw movie any time soon had at least halved for now, even if she did also feel considerably embarrassed that, if Jacob was the one who found her and brought her here, he’d seen her at her worst, and possibly unclothed, which only got her all the more on the defensive.

“You want to tell me where the fuck I am and what the fuck is going on?” she quizzed snarkily, too tired, sore and disoriented to bother with politeness.

“Sure,” Jacob shrugged casually, “Just as soon as you tell me why you were running around all fucked up and crazy in the middle of the road at gone midnight last night.”

That knocked her attitude out of her, Giordynne dropping her shoulders and hanging her head sullenly.

“That’s none of your business,” she muttered quietly, avoiding eye contact.

“Yeah, well, you made it my business when you took a chunk out of my arm,” he breathed, Giordynne unsure if his tone sounded annoyed as Jacob held up his left forearm to show her a livid ring-shaped bruise that had the clear outline of teeth marks.

Giordynne flushed deep red in embarrassment.

“Sorry…”

“I’ve had worse,” he laughed, shaking his head, toying with her in the same way her had the first time they’d crossed paths.

“So, are you going to talk to me about last night, or do you want to wait for Joseph to come back?”

“Wait, Joseph was there last night?”

“Mm-hm. Luckily, you only bit me, but the state you were in, he was genuinely worried you wouldn’t get through the night. So much so, he had me sitting up until nearly 5 am to make sure you didn’t have a heart attack or choke on your own vomit,” Jacob explained, gesturing toward the chair.

“So, what’s this for?” Giordynne asked, giving her wrist a little wave so that the chain attached to it rattled.

“Just a precaution. Like I said, you were out of it like rabid animal last night. Shit, you’ve got some real fight in you, I was almost impressed. If it was anyone else, I might have put you in an actual cage, but Joseph thought it would be better to keep you in here until you were out of the woods.”

“Thanks, I guess?”

Jacob dismissed her thanks as not needed with a slight shake of his head. Whether Giordynne knew it or not, Jacob wasn’t exaggerating about the cages, and he had locked others in them before to sleep off the effects of the various substances they’d been on. Giordynne had been one of the most extreme cases seen so far though, so the circumstances had called for a medical intervention above all else.

“Can I go home now?” Giordynne inquired meekly, all attitude and anger gone from her finally.

Jacob shifted from one foot to the other, letting out a sigh.

“That depends. Are you planning on doing something reckless and potentially life-threatening again if you do go home?”

There was hesitation in her answer, long enough for both to notice without a doubt.

“In that case, I think Joseph would prefer you to stay here until you can give a more definite answer. Nothing personal, but I know that if I were to let you go walking out of here and you go right back to doing what you did last night, chances are your luck will run out and Joseph and I won’t be there to save you this time. Now, I don’t think you really want that to happen half as much as you’ve probably been trying to convince yourself you do, so how about a compromise?”

Jacob wasn’t playing around now. His tone was serious and sincere, and he was calling her behaviour out at the very core, enough to have Giordynne’s full attention.

“You stay here, maybe for a couple of days or so, just long enough to get what’s going on with you right now out of your system and talk to Joseph and see how you feel after that. Hell, you can even call home to let whoever you need to know you’re safe. Deal?”

The offer was strangely tempting, given that it sounded like the difference was only whether she remained there by choice or against her will, and if choosing to stay meant no chain and an unlocked door, and a few days away from home to clear her head without her dad breathing down her neck checking in on her and driving her crazy, maybe the lesser of two evils wasn’t such a bad thing.


	5. Intermission

“I just needed to get away for a while, Daddy. Please don’t worry. I’m just staying with friends for a few days. I’ll be home soon, I promise.”

“Okay, sweetheart. Just so long as you’re okay and you’re safe,” Casey acquiesced from the other end of the line, though it was obvious that he wasn’t remotely sure that disappearing for a while was in Giordynne’s best interests, or that he was entirely certain she was telling the truth, but, as he’d learned when the girl was still a teenager, Giordynne would do as she damn well pleased, and no amount of trying to exert authority over her would change her mind once it was set on something, even if it led her down a road of heartbreak or self-destruction, just like her mother.

Giordynne wound the coils of wire that connected the handset of the phone to the base around her index finger, subconsciously glad that the vintage aesthetic of it gave her something to fiddle with as she spoke, trying hard to mask any indication that what she was saying hid the truth of where she was.

She’d been allowed to make the call from the privacy of the room next to the one she’d woken up in that seemed to be an amalgamation of an administrative office-turned command centre and what may or may not have been Jacob’s private quarters in the building she had discovered was the old St Francis Veterans Centre once she’d agreed to stay there until she could be trusted to be released again under her own recognisance.

To make it feel less like she was being held prisoner, Jacob had unchained her and promised to leave the door to her room unlocked, as well as allowed her to dig through several storage lockers of fatigues leftover from when the hospital was still in military operation for something more suitable and closer in size for her to wear than a hospital gown or the tattered remnants of what she’d been found wandering around in.

While still not near a perfect fit, Giordynne found something she could make work, though it was mildly jarring and surreal at first to be back in some semblance of a uniform. Thankfully, she had managed to find a pair of boots in her size, and a belt that, with a little help from a screwdriver used as a makeshift hole punch, would at least hold up the pants that were two sizes too big.

Hell, with a little finessing, she could style the look casual enough to almost pass as deliberate, coming off as some level of late 90’s army surplus from the thrift store grunge aesthetic, especially given that she still had two-day remnants of eyeliner and mascara smudged around her eyes.

It wasn’t until after she’d ended the call to her father that her thoughts turned to food, settled enough now to realise that the knot in her stomach was in fact hunger and not just the anxiety of waking up in chains in a strange place after a bender or having to outright lie to her dad about where she was and why. Jacob had anticipated the probability even before he’d left her alone to make the call, using the time to head down to the mess hall and acquire a selection of items for her to choose from since there hadn’t exactly been much of an opportunity to ascertain whether Giordynne had any specific dietary requirements of preferences. He hadn’t yet returned by the time Giordynne had ended the call and hung up, giving her the chance to have a little snoop around and get her bearings, making a beeline to the double doors on the other side of the room in place of windows, that seemed to lead out onto a balcony overlooking the front of the building.

From as best she could estimate, she was on the third floor, too high up to take a chance on the fleeting urge to try to jump down and make an escape, at least not without breaking her remaining leg in the process. Instead, she just stood there, leaning on the railing and surveying the rest of the grounds in her line of sight, letting the sun warm her face as she took a few deep breaths of Montana air untainted by the smell of dust, decaying plaster and chipping paint.

From her vantage point, she got a good look at the main gates of the property, the road from the gates stretching out in a broad curve toward the highway beyond, flanked on either side by woodland. Armed guards patrolled the gate and the courtyard below, while another contingent was training at a makeshift firing range toward the far end away from the gate, only then drawing Giordynne’s attention to the clustered cages at both ends, unable to see clearly what was housed in the ones by the training area, but the ones on the closer side, to the right of the gate, contained at least a dozen or so wolves, mostly pacing back and forth behind the bars with two or three scrapping over food loud enough for her to hear their growling.

Seeing the cages reminded her of the comment Jacob had made earlier. At the time, she’d taken it as a joke, but now she couldn’t help but wonder if he had actually been serious all along.

Distracted by her musings, Giordynne hadn’t heard the door from the hallway open as Jacob returned, and for a man his size, he was unnervingly quiet on his feet when he wanted to be, setting down the tray of food on an empty spot on the desk and approaching silently.

It was only when he cleared his throat that Giordynne realised he was there, startling her enough to draw a small yelp from within as she jumped and spun around to face him.

“Do you mind not creeping up on me like that?” she scowled, finding that little annoyance in the way he seemed to thoroughly enjoy teasing little reactions out of her, some small part of her getting the impression of how a cat toys with a mouse before devouring it before she shooed the thought away. After all, Jacob hadn’t done anything that could be considered a genuine threat to her safety, even if he had some funny ideas about what constituted keeping her safe from her own self-destructive tendencies.

Still, even if she believed he had no intention of causing her harm, she didn’t doubt for a moment that he was the kind of guy who could go to some pretty extreme lengths if circumstances called for it, even if it was just putting his own military training to use to do so.

“I thought you might be hungry,” Jacob answered, disregarding her protest as he leaned on the doorframe and gesturing toward the tray on the desk. “Didn’t know what you might like, so feel free to help yourself to whatever takes your fancy.”

Any momentary grievance she felt disappeared once again, replaced with gratitude for his apparent forethought, as evidenced by the small smile of thanks she gave him as she came in from the balcony and inspected the meal tray, her stomach instantly gravitating to the only hot option on offer; a plate piled with meat that smelled like the pot roast her grandma used to make when she was a kid, along with the very basic accompaniment of mashed potatoes and broccoli, though the meat alone was enough to make her mouth water with how hungry she was, and without even thinking for a moment about manners, she picked up a slither of meat and popped it into her mouth.

“That good, huh?”

Giordynne shot Jacob a look that told him “Shut up”, deciding she was far too hungry to give a damn what he thought about her using her fingers. And besides, if he was really all that bothered, she’d at least show she wasn’t a complete animal and use a fork to eat the potatoes. The broccoli could rot as far as she was concerned though.

Silence fell between them while Jacob let her finish her meal in peace, this time holding no awkwardness the way previous times had; Giordynne coming around to being in Jacob’s presence more so than having been forced into it, and she was starting to get the impression that he seemed just as inquisitive of her as she was of him. She hadn’t yet worked out just exactly what the intention of that curiosity was though, and she still suspected that much of it may have been purely investigative on Joseph’s behalf.

After a while, the quiet did start to grate on her nerves again, though through no fault of Jacob’s, and Giordynne had to break the silence.

“Are they real wolves in those cages out there?”

The question came out of the left field, causing Jacob to let out a chuckle.

“Yes, those are real wolves. Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” Giordynne shrugged, picking up an apple from the tray and plucking at the stem still attached to it with her fingernail. “Guess I was just wondering what someone does with a bunch of caged wolves.”

Jacob admired the fairness of her question, pausing for a beat before giving her an answer.

“Let’s just say that, with a little work, they make much more effective guard dogs than your average mutt,” he settled on, resting his palms on the edge of the desk and leaning in toward her a little.


	6. Reflection

More than a week had passed since she’d agreed to stay. Almost two if she counted properly, but the two days she’d promised ultimately didn’t feel like nearly enough, and the longer she stayed away, the more apprehensive she grew over the prospect that she would, at some point, have to go back, and Giordynne wasn’t sure she could trust herself.

Joseph had been coming in and out frequently to counsel her, Giordynne half-jokingly beginning to refer to the visits as therapy sessions, though that really wasn’t all that far from the truth in terms of the content of what they spoke about. The night she’d been found had been talked about, picked apart and examined to death. Joseph had never once sounded like he judged her for it, unlike the impression Giordynne got from other people in her life when she did something disappointing or harmful. On the fourth day, Joseph had gifted her with a book of his teachings, suggesting it may be a source of comfort should she need it in his absence.

By the end of the fifth day, Giordynne had caved and begun to read it, at first just using it as a way to pass the time when she was alone in her room, as Jacob had other duties to attend to now that she was no longer in need of constant supervision.

God was still no real to her than Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, but Joseph’s teachings were far easier to digest than the giant suspension of disbelief the Bible required of her, and from the way the book had been written, Giordynne could tell that either Joseph himself had poured out every word into the manuscript, or at least dictated it as such, because it read exactly how he talked, right down to the tone and passion behind the words. It had been exactly what she had needed to see her through the moments when the claws of her depression started to reach for her again when she had no other distraction.

The rest of her time was spent either hiding out in Jacob’s office, or following him around the parts of the building she had been permitted access to, including the mess hall, but she’d gotten it into her head that if she actually went there during meal times, she would be under the scrutiny of the other occupants, given that Jacob had been a constant presence whenever she was seen outside of her room, and she’d already caught one or two people casting a watchful eye in her direction when Jacob wasn’t looking.

By the second week, Giordynne was given a little more freedom to roam without being escorted, though it came with the caveat that there were some areas she still wasn’t permitted to stray into, especially the area of the outer courtyard at the far end where the firing range was set up. Giordynne had asked why, only to be told that she hadn’t quite earned trust enough to be around anything she could cause harm to herself or others with, and while she was a little offended at the insinuation, she offered no protest, as there was really no reason for her to be in that area anyway even if she could be trusted around firearms.

That gave her generally free range with the rest of the yard to the right of the fountain, plus a strip of wasteland that ran almost the entire length of the back of the hospital blocked off from doing a complete circuit toward the training area by two sections of chain link fence and an overgrown patch between the two that obscured the view beyond for the most part.

Surprisingly, it also meant that the main gate out of the compound was also sitting right there, open and unobstructed, in the half she could wander for fresh air and exercise.

Giordynne had even plucked up the courage after a day or two to walk right up to the boundary of the gate, half-certain the guards posted there would move to stop her if they thought she was going to make a run for it, but they simply stood there, even going so far as to exchange eye contact with her, apparently certain that she wouldn’t try to leave, and that even if she stepped a toe over the line, it was a bluff to test them. Instead, Giordynne had smiled at them and turned back away from the exit before turning her attention to the caged wolves to the right of the gate.

She wasn’t foolish enough to think sticking her arm in to try to pet one of them wouldn’t result in her getting another impromptu amputation, but, in the time she had been there, the animals had also seemed to have grown accustomed to their surroundings, no longer pacing with agitation or fighting over food. Most of them were lounging about in the afternoon sun just like their domesticated cousins, tongues lolling out as they panted softly with the heat. A couple raised their heads to look at her as she walked by their cage, perhaps expecting the arrival of another bucket of raw meat before laying back down and paying no more mind to her.

Giordynne was exhilarated to see them so up close like this. Of course, she’d seen them out in the wild before, whipping through the treeline chasing prey or tearing across cornfields around sunset, the closest having been when she had almost hit one a month or so earlier after it shot out into the road ahead of her truck.

The memory resurfaced at that moment, and she found herself feeling mildly amused as she recalled that that incident had directly led her to her first encounter with Jacob.

There were wooden boards on top of the cages, with others positioned in between that looked like a makeshift catwalk. Giordynne found them to be a perfect source of shade as she took up a spot with her back against an empty cage to sit and watch the wolves in their repose, certain that she wouldn’t likely get a chance like this again when she went back out into the real world, save perhaps driving a couple of counties over to the nearest zoo, and she rather liked the fact that here, she didn’t have to pay anyone for the privilege.

Giordynne spent several hours in the quiet spot amongst the cages, finding a calm she hadn’t felt in a long time. It was almost meditative. Enough so that she didn’t notice how much time had passed until the shadows started stretching out and the air had cooled without the sun high overhead.

Tyres crunched on gravel as several trucks drove in through the gate, the convoy brought up from behind by Jacob after a visit to his and Joseph’s other brother, John, for a meeting back over in Holland Valley to discuss the acquisition of some property. Giordynne hadn’t paid too much attention with it being none of her business, but she’d picked up a few details of the conversation Jacob and Joseph had had the last time Joseph was there, gleaning at the very least that John was a lawyer that specialised in property and real estate law and that Eden’s Gate was looking into buying up some more land to build additional accommodation on for their ever-expanding number of members.

Jacob had a brief exchange with one of the guards on the gate, getting caught up on anything that had happened while he was away. There wasn’t much to report, but the guard did disclose the location of their guest.

Intrigued, the eldest Seed brother approached the cages. Sure enough, there was Giordynne, looking right at home with a stillness that seemed brand new in his experience of her so far. Jacob paused, taking up the familiar stance of crossing his arms and leaning against the corner of the nearest cage, watching her for a moment before she looked up at him and smiled languidly, patting the dirt as an invitation to sit with her.

For a moment, Jacob was going to refuse, but he reconsidered, stepping closer and lowering himself down beside her, giving her a side-on glance as he did so.

“I think I’m starting to like it here,” Giordynne admitted dreamily, the words carrying on a relaxed sigh before Jacob could get a word in.

Jacob remained silent for a moment, only nodding in acknowledgement.

“Do you remember how you told me the first night that believing in God wasn’t necessarily a requirement to join Eden’s Gate?” she continued, shifting a little to face him.

“I do.”

“When you said that, were you speaking from first-hand experience?”

“Mm…”

Giordynne drew in a long breath at confirmation of her suspicion.

“Faith’s not an easy thing to have when you’ve gone through most of your life feeling like nobody is listening,” Jacob stated with a shrug.

“Yeah…”

The affirmation that came with hearing that Jacob himself didn’t entirely hold stock in the Bible was reassuring, though Giordynne did wonder if Joseph knew that his brother was still a sceptic in that regard.

“Especially when you’ve had it drilled into you for as long as you can remember by people who used it as an excuse to treat you like shit.”

That got Giordynne’s attention. Did she just hear Jacob Seed open up, even the tiniest bit, about his past? She wanted to know more, but she was suddenly acutely aware that if she tried to probe further, he might slam that opening shut in her face before she got anywhere.

“My parents weren’t really the god-fearing type,” she countered, erring on the side of caution by offering up some of her own vulnerabilities. “My mom never really needed any excuses though. If she wasn’t pissed at my dad for something or another, she was looking for any way out. Grew up with the feeling that she never really wanted to end up married with a kid in the middle of rural-ass Montana. Of course, she never said as much out loud, but actions speak louder than words, right?”

Another slow nod came in her direction.

“Sounds like neither of the women who brought us into the world were cut out to be the mother of the year. Mom being emotionally distant was nothing compared to the old man though. No, now he was a real old testament hard ass. You know, the whole “Spare the rod and spoil the child” kind of bible thumper. Used to beat me and my brothers black and blue with his belt and anything else he could find, even when John was still a baby.”

“That sounds rough. I’m sorry…”

“No, don’t be. Fucker got what he deserved in the end. Meanwhile, social services got involved and we ended up in foster care. John got adopted out, and Joseph and I got split up after I ended up in juvie.”

“What were you in for?” Giordynne asked, surprised but grateful that Jacob hadn’t shut the conversation down.

A smirk spread across his face as he answered.

“Burned down our foster parents’ farmhouse. Now, in my defence, they also turned out to be abusive pieces of shit that were only in it for the pay-out they got from the government that was supposed to be used to feed and clothe us. After I got out, I had no idea where to even begin looking for John or Joseph, and I didn’t have a whole lot of options in terms of job prospects, so I enlisted. Figured it was that or a life of crime, so I picked the one that wouldn’t end with me locked up again.”

Giordynne supposed she could have gotten all this information out of Joseph just as easily if she’d only have thought to ask at the time. Still, it answered quite a few questions she’d had about Jacob and the way he behaved.

“Makes sense. Mom finally got sick of Dad and left him when I was nine. Pretty sure the only reason she dragged me with her all the way to Arizona was to spite him, ‘cause it’s not like she suddenly started being a great parent when we got there. As soon as I could take care of myself, she was hardly ever home. I swear I don’t even remember half the names of the guys she’d bring back. She didn’t even bat an eyelid when I came back here, other than to go off on Dad for sending me money for a bus ticket. Finished out high school planning to open my own shop, then kinda got side-tracked for a while.”

“When you served?”

“Yup.”

“What made you enlist? No offence, but you don’t look like the type who’d be drawn to it, and if you were going to open up a tattoo shop anyway…”

“Best friend signed up. My dumb ass followed suit. Guess I thought it would be good for me, or at least be a way to travel while saving money enough for the shop.” Giordynne shrugged, her expression acknowledging how stupid it sounded with several years’ hindsight.

“As you can already tell, that turned out super great!” she added wryly, knocking on her prosthesis.

Jacob huffed in agreement and let the conversation drop for a moment.

“At least you finally did open up that tattoo shop,” he pointed out eventually.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did. Shame it wasn’t the be-all, end-all I thought it was going to be.”

Jacob tilted his head, his brow creasing at her admission, which had Giordynne backpedalling.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do. I mean, I’ve been wanting it since I was a kid, so I’m technically living my dream. I just thought it would be more than enough to get me to stop fucking everything up for myself, y’know?”

Jacob nodded sagely, getting up from the ground as he responded.

“Sometimes it takes getting what we think we want to realise that it was merely a distraction from our true purpose, and maybe it’s a test to see what we choose to do about it?” he offered before turning and leaving her to mull it over.


	7. Fixation

_Faith’s not an easy thing to have when you’ve gone through most of your life feeling like nobody is listening._

Had any truer words ever been spoken? If there had, none came to her recollection in that moment. Still, here Giordynne was, starting to let herself have a little hope, of all things. She had admitted to Jacob that she felt a little guilty paying only lip service to the god Joseph seemed to believe in with so much of his heart and soul. The elder Seed had reminded her that, so long as she was sincere in her belief in the Father, then that was just as acceptable.

Nobody outside of the two of them knew they were any less faithful to the Almighty though, and it would remain that way for as long as necessary.

There was silence on the drive to Joseph’s chapel on one of the larger islands on the lake, Giordynne watching the scenery whip by as Jacob kept his eyes on the road. This was the first time Giordynne had been outside of the St Francis Veterans Centre in weeks, and the silence that hung in the air was an all too obvious sign of anxiety in her at the prospect of finally returning home. The time had come, however. Joseph had seen sufficient improvement in her mental state to believe that she was no longer at risk of harming herself again, at least for the foreseeable future.

Jacob had been over to Angel’s Peak to retrieve Giordynne’s truck sometime before, while she was still confined, and this was the vehicle they travelled in now, as, after the sermon, Giordynne would be free to leave and go home.

Feeling a little fraught as the lack of conversation continued, Giordynne finally cracked, leaning forward and turning on the radio, then the old iPod she had connected to it to shuffle. Her eyes widened when Cry Little Sister from the soundtrack of The Lost Boys came on. She loved this song to death but was suddenly self-conscious about what Jacob might think of her taste in music. To her relief though, Jacob didn’t bat an eyelid at the song choice, tapping his thumb on the edge of the steering wheel to the intro’s beat. When he started to quietly sing along though, Giordynne couldn’t help cracking a smile in amazement.

“You like this song?” She asked cautiously, still not quite believing he knew it at all, much less the words.

Jacob nodded slowly, watching the road and still singing for a few more bars.

“I saw the movie in the theatre when it first came out,” he explained casually, acting as though it was the most natural thing in the world. “One of the best movies of the ’80s, if you ask me.”

“I didn’t see it ‘til the ’90s. I was three when it was released. Went through an obligatory goth phase in junior high though, so it kinda became a staple in my collection, along with all the other usual horror stuff; Romero, Friday the 13th, Halloween, Freddy Krueger,” she listed, counting off on her fingers.

The shift in her demeanour from quiet and anxious to bubbly horror nerd drew a smirk from Jacob. Here was a girl who had been worn down by real horrors in the world, but she enthused fantastically over the fictional ones. It wasn’t much of a surprise to him, given her dress sense and tattoo work, but getting a glimpse into what sort of things existed in Giordynne’s world that lightened the weight on her shoulders gave him more of an idea about the more complexities of her mind and character, which was always an advantage in finding out what makes a person tick.

“So, you like horror movies?” Jacob asked though it was obviously rhetorical. “Good to know.”

The light-hearted conversation had briefly allowed Giordynne to forget her apprehension, but it didn’t last as long as she would have liked, Jacob pulling off the highway onto the road to Joseph’s compound. The entire perimeter of the island seemed to be bordered by a chain-link fence topped with coils of barbed wire, which felt a little unnecessary given it was surrounded by water, but she reasoned that Joseph was just being particularly cautious about trespassers since Eden’s Gate weren’t exactly popular with most folks.

Giordynne hadn’t been to the compound before. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but what met her wasn’t it, the cluster of simple, whitewashed wooden living quarters reminding her of the dorm rooms at summer camp. Summer camp had didn’t have a purpose-built chapel at the back of it though, overlooking the lake on one side and woodland on the other.

Jacob held the door open for her as she entered, the chapel empty for the moment, save for Joseph, another man who she could only assume was John, as the facial similarities to Joseph and Jacob were evident, and a woman with black hair who bore no resemblance to any of the others that an air of authority that the larger portion of members didn’t seem to hold.

After a short greeting and friendly introduction to the man who was indeed John, and apparently Faith, Giordynne took up a seat at the front of the chapel, off to the farthest left so that she didn’t feel quite as exposed as she would have sitting closer to the centre. It also happened to be the side that Jacob stood on when the chapel began to fill up and the sermon began, Giordynne blissfully unaware of this seemingly subconscious action of continuing to seek out Jacob’s presence as a means of security, and while she may not have realised, Jacob had certainly noticed enough to at least make a mental note of it, casting an occasional glance in her direction throughout the service.

After the sermon had ended and most of the people had left the chapel, Giordynne remained behind, a little nervous that it may be seen as an intrusion, but Joseph was quick to reassure her that her presence was always welcome within those walls, as well as wherever his flock may happen to gather.

John had also approached her again, talking to her as though they were old friends rather than new acquaintances, and he seemed very much enamoured and admiring of her skills, both from an artistic standpoint and the intricacies of the technical ability required for her more complex and realistic imagery. Giordynne was flattered by his compliments but felt a little backed into a corner by his enthusiasm and overly familiar behaviour. She remained polite, however, assuming that John was just one of those people whose personality was extremely outgoing and larger-than-life compared to the more subtle characteristics of his older brothers.

Giordynne was more than grateful when Jacob interrupted the conversation, putting a halt to John’s runaway interest by loudly commenting on the time and how it was getting rather late for Miss Fixman to be driving around the county alone in the dark.

John took his brothers interference with a reluctant grace, apologising for taking up so much of Giordynne’s time, but not without bidding her farewell until the next time they may meet and adding that he might stop by her shop sometime for some work of his own, to which she nodded graciously and allowed Jacob to shoo her toward the exit, Giordynne barely stifling a giggle at how big brother had handled the situation.

Once they were outside with the door and pacing quickly toward her truck, the laugh burst free and Giordynne swatted Jacob’s arm.

“Miss Fixman, huh?” she teased, giving him a “Really?” look.

“It worked, didn’t it?” Jacob shot back without missing a beat.

“True, but still…”

Giordynne’s footsteps slowed as they reached the shiny black pickup, that gnawing uncertainty flaring up again.

Jacob saw the shift in her face and let out a huff, digging Giordynne’s keys out of his pocket.

“You’ll be fine, Giordynne.” He reminded her, his tone matter of fact as he tossed her the keys.

Giordynne took the words to heart as she opened the door and got into the vehicle, winding down her window so that she’d get the night breeze as she drove home. Jacob closed the door for her, resting his elbows on the edge of the window.

“Just remember what I said, if you start to feel like things are getting out of hand again, you know where to go.”

“I know…”

Giordynne bit her lip as the conversation paused for several long seconds before Jacob broke the quiet, tapping his knuckles on the panel of her door.

“Take care of yourself, kid. Otherwise, I might have to chain you up again.” He smirked, though the joke rang heavily of the truth, letting her start the truck's engine and start to pull away before he walked back to the chapel, met by Joseph at the door.

“How is she doing?” Joseph inquired as they watched Giordynne’s truck bump down the dirt road out of the compound and out of sight.

“She’ll be back,” Jacob answered with a firm nod. “I’d put money on it.”


	8. Deconstruction

The bitter bite of the wind heralded that Winter would be well and truly on its way in a few weeks, making Giordynne shiver and shrug further into the warmth of her leather jacket as it blew headlong down the main street that ran through Falls End, dragging with it a flurry of dead, dry leaves that collected and settled in the gutter.

Giordynne did not mind the Fall. After all, her all-time favourite holiday happened then, and September had barely taken its final breath before she started decorating for the festivities, starting with a drive out to Rae Rae’s and the Garden View Packing facility for a couple of big fat pumpkins to carve, and enough apples to take over to Casey for him to make a couple of weeks’ worth of cider for the two of them.

Casey had been glad to see that she appeared to be doing better when she finally came home seven weeks ago, though he still had no idea where she’d actually been holed up, Giordynne’s claim that she’d been staying with an old friend from high school that had moved one state over enough to appease Casey’s worry for the time being.

If there ever came a time he found out where she had really been though, all hell would probably break loose. Casey was moderately vocal about his distrust of the “cult”, as he liked to call them, but while this was mostly grumbling about them buying up land left and right, and that he thought they were a bunch of weirdo religious nuts, there was something larger simmering below the surface, and that rang true for a lot of people Giordynne knew, so if Casey got wind that she’d spent several weeks a prisoner of her own making under the watchful gaze of Jacob Seed, Giordynne wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t break out a shotgun and hightail it over there to give it to Jacob with both barrels, verbally and physically.

Giordynne had once or twice allowed herself to imagine how that scene would play out, and she reached the conclusion that it would end in one of two ways, and both involved at least one death of someone she cared about.

It was only in imagining that scenario that she admitted to herself that she did indeed care enough about Jacob to not want to see him get hurt, especially by her dad, but there was also the fact that she was wholly aware that if Casey went up to the Veterans Centre, the place was crawling with what was, for all intents and purposes, a small and well-trained army. Giordynne had asked Jacob why he was training them. He said it was better that they know how to fight and survive, in case the Collapse really did come. Better to have the skills and not need them than be caught needing them and not having them, he’d explained casually, and Giordynne could hardly argue with such logic, since even a sizeable portion of Hope County’s population had a penchant for Doomsday Prepping and stockpiling a private arsenal, just in case. Hell, there were not all that many families Giordynne could recall that didn’t have at least a small bunker under their back yard.

All of this only lent toward the claims Joseph made about the Collapse; how most people were already at least subconsciously aware that it was coming. Hope County just seemed to have a much higher percentage who were consciously aware, even if some of them used the shitty and racist excuse that the government couldn’t be trusted to honour the constitution and things were sure to go down the toilet now that they let a black man into the Whitehouse.

Over at Rae Rae’s, Boomer was springing about out front excitedly, bouncing on his hind legs and snapping his jaws trying to catch the last of the summer’s fireflies in the early twilight. When Giordynne pulled up in her truck, the hound gave up his game and bounded over to greet her, yipping loudly and jumping up to give GiGi a kiss. He was like that with all the locals who gave him so much as even the slightest bit of attention, so Boomer was about as well-loved all over the county as any dog could be. He was smart as a whip too, and one of the best trackers around, so you had no chance of hiding treats on your person and expecting him not to sniff them out the moment you were within range.

Giordynne ruffled the pup's fur around his head and greeted him in baby talk before digging a dog biscuit out of her pocket, making him sit and give her his paw, then tossing it up in the air and letting him catch it.

Rae-Rae popped her head around the front door of the house, holding her baby boy, Ryan. The toddler looked about ready to go down for the night, so Giordynne was more than happy to wait a few minutes for service while Rae-Rae put him to bed, taking it as extra time to pick out which pumpkins she wanted, and she had the pick of the crop since she’d come right at the beginning of the season before the place got busy and filled up with families bringing their kids over in the week or so that preceded Halloween.

Giordynne picked one of the biggest ones she could find that was suitably symmetrical for her tastes and a smaller one that looked as close to proportional to balance on top of the larger and become the head of what would basically be a snowman made of jack-o’-lanterns.

The bigger one was heavy and needed both GiGi and Rae-Rae to heft it up into the flatbed of her truck, Giordynne paying, plus an extra tip for treats for Boomer and a little something for the baby. She then called in at the packing plant before heading back to Falls End, calling ahead to make sure she had someone meeting her on the other end to help unload the two crates of apples, or they’d be stuck on the truck until either they did or they fermented themselves in the sun and nobody got any cider but the flies.

When Giordynne pulled up outside the Spread Eagle, Casey and Gary Fairgrave tackled unloading the crates, while Gary’s two kids, Drew and Mary May helped with the pumpkins, Mary May elbowing her brother and insistently protesting that she was perfectly capable of assisting GiGi in carrying the bigger one before shoving the smaller ones into Drew’s hands like it was a football and telling him to go help their dad instead.

Drew pouted but left his sister to it, sloping off after Gary and Casey into the bar, Giordynne and Mary May sharing a giggle at his sulking.

“You always boss your brother around like that?” GiGi asked, still laughing.

“He deserves it for being a butthole.”

“Yeah, well, most guys are buttholes, so do me a favour and make sure you keep giving them hell, okay kid?”

“Oh, I will,” Mary May grinned, a slight glint from the streetlights catching her braces. “I promise.”

“Good.” Giordynne nodded, hopping down and taking the weight of the pumpkin until the kid was off the truck and there to take it those last few feet.

As they hauled the pumpkin toward the door of the bar, a commotion drew their attention from up the road that heads out of town. Both Giordynne and Mary May looked up to see an Eden’s Gate truck being pursued by an unmarked vehicle. While that might not have been concerning under normal circumstances, Giordynne was alarmed to see that the truck that was giving chase had a gun mounted on the back with someone in it, opening fire on the white pickup.

The chase flew past the intersection within a split second, Giordynne unaware she was holding her breath as she hoped they carried on past and didn’t turn down the street toward them, but thankfully, she got her wish and the trucks disappeared into the night.

“What do you think all that was about?” Mary May asked quietly, clearly also a little spooked, but hers was more the kind of caution all children held when presented with something unfamiliar, unlike Giordynne’s that bore the hallmarks of remembering the fear of something known all too well.

“I don’t know, honey. We better get inside, just in case.”

“Mom and Dad say those people are dangerous. Is that true?”

The question struck Giordynne and she suddenly didn’t know how to answer without giving away that she had been spending ever-increasing amounts of time at the Project at Eden’s Gate. From her experience, they did not feel dangerous, but she had seen the soldiers and guards herself. Shaking the notion from her mind, she decided that, as the Eden’s Gate truck had been the pursued, not the pursuer, then surely it was whoever was chasing them that were the danger, though she didn’t want to frighten Mary May.

“I don’t know,” Giordynne shrugged, keeping her tone calm and measured as she pivoted to distract the girl. “Let’s get this pumpkin inside before I drop it and it turns to mush, hmm?”


	9. Conflagration

Something shifted in the air that left the hair on the back of her neck standing up. Chatter among the locals had taken a turn toward cold distrust and thinly veiled aggression in recent weeks, the gulf between the long-standing residents of Hope County and the Project at Eden’s Gate widening like a gaping maw.

A rumour had run around like wildfire that the only reason Eden’s Gate had rocked up into Montana was that they had been under the scrutiny of local law enforcement in at least one other state after reports of a kidnapping in the area. Giordynne had broached the subject with the Father in a quiet moment after sermon one evening, having noticed that the woman who everyone referred to as Faith had recently been replaced by another with blonde hair. This confusion, combined with her growing wariness of the things the people she considered family and friends said about Joseph and his following that made her feel alienated and unsafe to reveal that she had been spending time at the Project left her panic-stricken and anxious.

Joseph explained that the previous Faith had left of her own accord after deciding that she wished to pursue a path in life away from Eden’s Gate, and he was very open about confirming that police had indeed attempted to investigate them, though the kidnapping that they claimed was the reason for their warrant was false, the person they’d allegedly taken having joined Eden’s Gate willingly, and the family of the individual had simply overreacted and gotten the police involved.

Her worries assuaged by the Father’s explanation, Giordynne made the decision to pay less attention to the spiteful and exaggerated things people outside said about them. After all, as Joseph had told her from the beginning, the Project at Eden’s Gate was a place that would always welcome her, especially in times of need, to provide a safe place to weather the storm among friends who understood her struggled instead of judging her unfairly for things they could never imagine going through.

Thanksgiving had rolled around a few weeks ago, and Giordynne had found herself sitting at the dinner table feeling like she was on the outside, looking in. She feigned interest and enthusiasm throughout dinner, but at the back of her mind, she felt like she should have been elsewhere, especially when her dad made a comment about the fact that John Seed had been paying regular visits to Giordynne’s shop to add to his existing collection of ink. Casey was sure that his daughter was just doing her job, but that didn’t stop him making a joke about John taking a much too keen an interest in her and laughing as he warned Giordynne not to let him get into her head and carry her off to the cult.

Giordynne had forced a smile, but her knuckles were white as she gripped the handle of her fork a little too tightly beneath the table, biting her tongue so as not to snap back that if anyone was trying to get her to join, it sure as hell wasn’t John Fucking Seed!

Now, it wasn’t that she disliked John. She had no real reason to. It was just that the overt confidence he exuded made her feel uncomfortable. Perhaps even bordering on intimidated, which wasn’t an unnecessary reaction given that he was a high-powered lawyer and was wealthy enough to be buying up large swathes of land in the county, and he damn well knew it. Giordynne was remiss to acknowledge that there was also something a little deeper that bothered her about John’s apparent arrogance. He was clearly a highly intelligent person, given his occupation, but he also seemed to possess an uncanny knack for reading people. More so than even his own brothers, and it brought up an instinct to hide in Giordynne that made her visibly recoil at the mere thought of it.

John had largely kept the conversations they had during his tattoo sessions to a level of professional curiosity, continuing to show a keen interest in the technical and mechanical aspects of her trade, even going so far as to inquire, hypothetically, how difficult it was for someone who had no training to acquire the required equipment.

Giordynne had disclosed that it was remarkably easy for almost anyone to buy a machine, inks, hygiene equipment, et al, online, as there wasn’t actually very much regulation in that department, a clear distaste in her tone as she spoke about the throng of untrained assholes throughout the world working out of their filthy garages and basements who thought they could call themselves artists just because they’d gotten their machine on eBay.

It hadn’t been much longer than that session that John’s appointments became lesser in frequency, though that could easily have just been that John was busy with things at the Project over the holiday season. Still, Giordynne was half thankful she didn’t have to sit there feeling on edge for a while, and half fearful that John’s questions hadn’t been as hypothetical as he had made them out to be. Either way, the thought of John Seed tattooing people didn’t sit right with her as she locked her front door and headed out, walking toward the Spread Eagle.

GiGi stopped at the door, however, hand pressed to the surface of the wood about to push it open, but she froze, hearing laughter from inside that brought back her fathers joke at the dinner table like a fresh wound.

Turning away, she leant against the railing outside instead, casting her eyes up to the darkening sky, the moon already sailing high above the mountains. Save for a smattering of clouds here and there, the sky was clear and a velvety shade of deepening blue that would turn black once the light of the sun had completely faded below the horizon. One of the things Giordynne liked best about living in Hope County was that the night sky was pure jet black and every star was visible, glittering and impossible to count. It had been one of the things she had missed the most whenever she’d been away to anywhere that had too much light pollution that muddied the sky and veiled everything in a yellow tinge.

Shame Falls End was starting to feel like anything but home, especially on Christmas Eve.

The wind picked up and blew down the open road, beckoning as if on command. Giordynne’s fingertips brushing over the car keys in her pocket, that invisible, subconscious pull enticing her back toward the shop and the black pickup parked beside it.

Giordynne wondered if Eden’s Gate held mass the way other churches did at this time of year. Even if they didn’t, chances were the Father would be holding a sermon either way, and the drive didn’t take long to reach the bridge that crossed onto the island where the Father’s compound was situated. Giordynne paused though when she reached the turn off for the road, her impulse suddenly pulling in a different direction, carrying her past the turning and over the second bridge on the other end that led into Whitetail.

She considered the likelihood that, if Joseph was holding a sermon or mass or anything else of the sort, Jacob was probably at the compound anyway, but she told herself that didn’t matter. That she was just going for a drive to give herself some space and get her head together.

Still, she found herself going in the direction of the Veterans Centre. Why, she could not answer with any conviction. Maybe she’d just come to associate the place with a sense of security that she didn’t seem to get anywhere else, and she was hoping that being in the vicinity of it would have the same effect as it had when she was within its walls.

Pulling off at the exit, apprehension gripped her. The guards had not seemed fazed by her presence when she was a guest, but would she be considered a trespasser if she turned up uninvited?

The guards posted at the gate did move to block the way as the unmarked truck approached, but they recognised her, preventing Giordynne from entering only long enough to radio to Jacob for instructions before waving her through.

Giordynne drove into the gates and parked in the area to the left of the building, a little way beyond the wolf cages and discreet enough to not be in anyone’s way. She still didn’t have a fully formed reason in mind to give to Jacob as to why she was there, but something deep down had the impression that he had been expecting her, given how easily she had gained access to the courtyard.

She hadn’t registered that she’d sat in her truck for a couple of minutes after she parked until she saw Jacob come out of the front door of the building.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure?” Jacob asked as Giordynne got out of her truck and walked toward him.

“Bad company?” she shrugged, feeling self-conscious but trying to mask it.

“Mine or someone else’s?”

“Mine, actually,” Giordynne frowned, adding “And maybe a little of someone else’s.”

“Family?”

Her head seesawed back and forth a little as the corner of her mouth pulled in a grimace of affirmation, Giordynne shoving her hands in her jacket pocket to conceal her balled fists.

Jacob nodded and quizzed her no further, needing no other answer from her.

“Well, I know you just got here, but I was heading out to pay mine a visit if you want to tag along? I’d hate for you to have come all this way just to turn around and go back home, especially if home isn’t where you want to be right now.”

“I’d like that.”

Giordynne was half cursing herself now that she hadn’t just gone to Joseph’s compound when she was already there, since Jacob would have turned up anyway, but it was what it was, and at least this way, she could at least ride with Jacob and maybe get a little glimpse of his more playful side again to lighten her mood.

“Should I just follow behind you guys then, or…” she began, making no attempt to disguise her angling for an invitation.

“How about we just take your truck?” he countered, smirking at her audacity. “You want to drive, or shall I?”

Giordynne pulled out her keys and tossed them toward him, Jacob snatching them out of mid-air with one hand.

“I’ll drive then.”

Whatever Giordynne had come here looking for, it was at least somewhat appeased for the time being. As much as being around Joseph had a strange draw to it that spoke to her profoundly, and in ways she had never considered, being around Jacob was a different beast entirely. Giordynne tried to convince herself that it was probably just that they had things in common that made conversation effortless, even if many of those things were somewhat trauma-based. Jacob’s rough edges and no-nonsense attitude also appealed to her in that he clearly had no interest in babying her and there was never any danger of him sugar-coating anything.

There felt no need for conversation tonight as Jacob drove a slightly different, longer route than Giordynne came in on, the windows cracked open just a little for airflow and the radio on, tuned in to one of the few stations that signal managed to get into the valley from.

Jacob’s convoy crested a small hill, Silver Lake stretching out ahead of them under the wide Montana sky. It had gotten cloudier since Giordynne set out earlier, and the wind had picked up an icy edge that threatened snow, but the moon still poked through and lit up the water like a black mirror. The black pickup was at the back of the pack, keeping a small distance from the marked vehicles. Giordynne was paying no mind to anything but the landscape, causing her to spot movement in the ditch that ran alongside the road, two distinct shadows running and stopping at the intersection ahead of both vehicles. At first, she thought they were animals moving in the dark, but one raised a very unmistakable arm in a signal.

“Stop!” she yelled, grabbing Jacob’s arm, causing him to swerve in the road with the squeal of brakes.

There wasn’t a moment long enough to ask questions before the first truck in the convoy exploded in a blinding flash, Giordynne screaming in terror as Jacob threw the pickup quickly into reverse and swung it around, pulling off the road entirely and gunning it across the grassland away from the scene, leaving behind the sudden outbreak of gunfire, until they reached asphalt on the other side, getting all the way to the dam before Jacob would slow down and assess the situation.

Giordynne had shut down. The roadside ambush had thrown her memory right back into the middle of Afghanistan and the night she lost her leg. Jacob was clearly shaken too, but he’d gone into autopilot to ensure they were safe, and when he finally stopped the truck, he recognized all the signs of a PTSD event in Giordynne, her body tensed and curled up tight, expression vacant, breathing rapid and shallow.

Jacob didn’t know what had made the truck explode, but he knew it was attacked. Whether it had been a mine, grenade or some other explosive ordinance, that did not matter. What mattered right now was bringing Giordynne out of her episode and letting Joseph know that they’d been ambushed on the way to the compound, so there was a chance there may be other traps set along routes to all of Eden’s Gate’s properties. If Giordynne hadn’t been with him, Jacob might have been furious at the gall of whoever had attacked them and sent out some of his Chosen to hunt them down and deal with them accordingly, but revenge could wait. First, he had to tend to the terrified woman still curled up in the passenger side of the truck and see what the damage was when she came out of hypervigilance.


	10. Connection

The instincts of a soldier never truly went away. It didn’t matter if they were on the battlefield or in the wild blue yonder. If that trained part of the brain was triggered even slightly, the response was automatic, whether willing or not. Any hesitation was the difference between life and death. Two soldiers had been forced to react tonight. One in recognizing catastrophe in the split second that preceded it, the other in extracting them from the immediate aftermath.

Now came the fallout and a time to decompress once the danger had passed.

Jacob had gotten on the radio the moment they were back within the confines of the walls of the St Francis Veterans Centre, putting out a warning to all Eden’s Gate vehicles on the road, as well as to the Father, advising that security be tightened indefinitely, at least until they knew who had been behind the attack. Additional guards were posted at the gates, as well a scattering of aerial units to patrol the vicinity in helicopters, all armed to the teeth in case this attack was designed for Jacob specifically. It wasn’t a certainty, but the eldest Seed would take no chances on a second conflict tonight.

Once word was out, Jacob finally turned his attention back to Giordynne. It had taken some coaxing to draw her back into the present and remove her from her truck, Jacob having to practically shoulder her entire weight to move her, though she wasn’t any more than one hundred and twenty pounds wet, so the task posed very little difficulty logistically.

The real challenge came on the emotional front. Jacob himself knew the strangling grip of PTSD and how debilitating it was. When his brothers had found him in the homeless shelter, he’d been deeply affected, a hollow-eyed shell of a man who had seen horrors or war far beyond anything a man twice his age should have seen, much less be imagined by anyone who had never served their country. It had taken a long time for him to start to overcome the things that haunted him, at least enough for him to function and become somewhat of the person Joseph and John remembered him to be.

That didn’t mean he was fully recovered and completely free of it. Not by a long stretch, and the incident on the road had shaken something in his core that remembered like it was yesterday. He knew he had to put that aside for a moment though because Giordynne was far deeper in that tailspin and Jacob didn’t know if she could pull herself out of it, or whether it would trigger another incidence of drug abuse or self-harm.

He managed to manoeuvre her through the entirety of the building to his quarters on the top floor with only a little cajoling along the way, Jacob sitting Giordynne down on the cot in the corner before locking the door to prevent any disturbance. He wasn’t entirely sure what he could do to help her at the moment, his own feelings of helpless clouding his ability to think completely rationally and objectively. If he’d been alone, he might have punched a hole in something with enough yield to only cause a minor breakage of bone in his fist, or at least trashed the room to release the tension, but he was lucid enough to know that a show of violence in Giordynne’s mental state would do further harm than good, shattering the tentative trust he’d built up in her.

Instead, he swallowed that urge and walked over to the cot, sitting down and pushing himself back so that his back was against the wall. Bringing up one foot to rest on the metal edge of the bed, he rested his head against the rough surface of concrete behind him, letting out a shuddered breath through his nose.

Giordynne turned her head toward him, the shellshocked expression still on her face, but the look in her eyes, as glassy as it was, had lost its vacancy to be replaced by one of pleading, her lip quivering.

Jacob stared at her for a long moment, reading the look on her face, then stretched out his arm in an invitation to seek comfort from him. It was a gesture he would not have normally resorted to, but the circumstances had him throwing all pretences and appearances out of the window. Giordynne moved closer, curling up against Jacob’s chest as he enveloped her in his arms protectively, pressing his face into her hair to muffle another shaking exhalation of air, Jacob realising that, while he was angry that he’d been caught unawares by the attack, he was all the more furious at the thought that Giordynne could have been killed. It was one thing to come after him, but she was an innocent party in all of this. Hell, she hadn’t even officially become a member of Eden’s Gate yet.

Giordynne buried her face into Jacob’s chest, her ear exactly over the spot where she could hear his heart beating. Despite his outward stoic appearance, his pulse raced almost as fast as hers, Giordynne thinking at first that she had mistakenly heard her own, but she tracked the rhythm as it began to slow with the pattern of Jacob’s breathing.

The silence in the room allowed Giordynne to focus solely on the two, drowning out all other sound and thought until the worst of her episode had passed, and even when all was still and calm again, neither she nor Jacob moved for a long time after, nor did a single word pass between them in that time. Only the occasional sound from outside or somewhere else in the building broke the quiet from time to time, and not enough to disturb the tableau of two battle-hardened souls finding resonance in their broken parts.

Jacob was the first to break the stillness, drawing in a breath that was released in a great sigh, calloused fingertips brushing over soft black hair, twirling a strand around idly as he relaxed further.

The movement caused Giordynne a fleeting moment of panic, and she instinctively snuggled closer, chasing solace. Jacob made no motion of protest. He had already decided that he would hold onto her for as long as she needed it.

It was long after midnight by the time both of them had returned to the closest state of normalcy they were going to achieve for a while, Giordynne finally pulling away from Jacob’s grasp, though she didn’t stray too far, straightening herself up a bit and wiping her face, inadvertently smearing her make up in the process, but she couldn’t give two fucks about that right now. Jacob sat up also, planting both feet on the ground and leaning his elbows on his knees, meeting her gaze. The atmosphere had a heaviness to it, but it had shifted from the aftermath of trauma to something far more intimate.

Giordynne had seen Jacob in a vulnerable state, and he was not at all used to that. The only thing that stopped him fidgeting uncomfortably with acknowledgement of that fact was that she had been just as vulnerable, if not more so, and it had stripped away any mask either held to protect themselves from allowing anyone too close.

“You’re welcome to stay here tonight,” Jacob murmured, reluctant to let her go back out for fear of either another attack or the chance of Giordynne backsliding into another PTSD episode or relapse. “I’ll see to it in the morning that you get home safely, I promise.”

Giordynne gave a faint nod and a half-smile, knowing that it was probably the wisest move, even though it was now technically Christmas day, and if she didn’t show up in Falls End by the time anyone would notice she hadn’t been home all night, questions would be asked, and she was of the frame of mind to know that that was the last thing she wanted, especially after coming so close to death all over again.

“It’s getting late,” Giordynne mumbled, chewing her lip as she slid off the bed reluctantly. “Probably best to get some sleep.”

Jacob remembered that he had locked the door and followed her, apologising under his breath as he fumbled the key slightly before letting her out. There was a flicker of hesitation between them as Giordynne stepped out into the hallway, lingering briefly.

“Well, goodnight, I guess,” she sighed, looking mildly agitated again before backing away and heading toward the other room.

Jacob nodded and muttered a goodnight in return, dipping back inside his quarters only after Giordynne had closed the door behind her. Even then, he paused momentarily, feeling stuck like the invisible force of a magnet in the wake of Giordynne’s departure. When he pulled himself free, he turned off the light, walked back over to his bed, lay down and staring at the ceiling in the darkness.

Several seconds later, there came the sound of a door opening and closing and footsteps approaching again, followed by a quiet knock.

The soldier was on his feet and at the door again without the earlier hesitation, opening it to see Giordynne looking sheepish. No words needed to be spoken between them as Jacob pushed the door open wider and held it while Giordynne passed him and returned to his bed, kicking off her boots. Jacob proceeded to do the same, stretching out and shuffling back toward the wall to allow Giordynne to lie down with him, curling up against his chest once more as he pulled her close and got comfortable.


	11. Introspection

The subtle shift of movement brought Jacob out of deep sleep, not quite all the way enough for him to open his eyes, but just enough to feel fleeting confusion until his other senses gave him more information; specifically the tickle of long hair on his cheek and the faint aroma of rainstorms and cocoa butter. One blue eye cracked open just enough to wipe away any doubt that Giordynne was still there, very much real and not just an ephemeral ghost from a dream.

Closing his eyes again and setting back down, he buried his face in a glorious tangle of blue-black hair at the back of Giordynne’s neck, breathing in the notes of her scent and tightening his grip on her in a final confirmation that she wasn’t just a particularly vivid figment of his imagination.

Giordynne stirred gently at the sensation of his breath against her skin, a soft sigh escaping her as she fought a losing battle against wakefulness, a sleepy smile touched her lips when she finally surrendered and remembered where she was, turning over to face Jacob. The moment was perfect and quiet, the memory of everything outside of it not yet reaching in to tear them from it as Giordynne nuzzled at Jacob’s jaw, eliciting a slight hum from him. Their peace didn’t last though. Only moments later did reality start to break through and remind them of what had brought them to that point, and the crossroads that lay ahead of them now because of it.

With sad reluctance, they acknowledged it with matching bittersweet expressions, fingertips tracing contours of jawlines as the questioning passed between their gaze.

In acknowledging a mutual attraction, each knew that there were decisions to be made, largely on Giordynne’s part with regards to where she stood with Eden’s Gate and what that would mean going forward in all areas of her life. On Jacob’s part, there were expectations on him to be upheld. While relationships within Eden’s Gate were not forbidden, there were other rules governing them, and that didn’t even begin to scratch the surface of how this would be seen in terms of his position of authority within the Project. If they intended to explore their feelings further, one of them would be forced to make a sacrifice sooner or later, and that sacrifice would be life-shattering.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Jacob murmured, the look in his eyes betraying that, as much as giving her an easy way out right from the start, it was the last thing he wanted.

Giordynne bit her lip, a little hurt and distressed at the gesture but understanding the gravity of the situation that prompted it.

“I want to,” she insisted, her eyes glossing with the swell of emotion. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“I know.”

“Everyone back home thinks Joseph is crazy, and that you and John are dangerous.”

It wasn’t the first time Jacob had heard anyone make such an accusation about his family, and he knew with certainty it would be far from the last.

“And what do you think?” he asked, brushing a strand of hair away from Giordynne’s face.

“I-,” she faltered, the cogs turning in her mind as she started to weigh everything up. “I think they’re wrong. They don’t get it and they won’t listen to anyone who tries to tell them otherwise.”

A wry smile twisted the corner of Jacob’s mouth.

“People fear what they don’t understand. That’s human nature. The only difference that separates them is that some are willing to face their fear and learn that they were afraid for nothing, and others double down on that fear and make villains out of it. Then they spin lies to try to turn others against it.”

Giordynne nodded slowly and sighed. Jacob’s evaluation of things made perfectly logical sense, but it still left her no closer to a solution for their problem, and the look on her face didn’t go unnoticed by Jacob, given that he was a scant few inches away from it, causing him to let out a heavy breath of frustration that he didn’t magically have all the answers for her.

“I can’t tell you what to do and I can’t make any decisions for you. It isn’t right, it isn’t fair on you and it sure as hell ain’t my place to do so. All I can do in all this is give you some time to figure it out if this is really something you want to do? The rest is up to you.”

“I know.”

Jacob did not want to even get into the problems it would cause on his side if they got into something while she still hadn’t made a commitment to joining the Project. The way some might see it, if Giordynne turned her back on Eden’s Gate, but she and Jacob continued to pursue a relationship, it could be considered fraternising with the enemy by one or both factions, and that would only drive the growing animosity between them.

It seemed that they had reached a standoff for now, as much as it pained them both to admit it. Jacob sat up, his brow furrowed, clearly still trying to work through the possibilities for a way through that would suit everyone all around so that Giordynne wouldn’t have to shoulder the weight of having to pick a side, but there was none, or at least not any that immediately presented themselves. Giordynne moved closer and rested her head on his shoulder, sensing Jacob’s turmoil beneath his stoic exterior, wanting just as badly to take away the pain as he wanted for her.

* * *

Despite the problems it might cause if anyone in Falls End saw them together, Jacob had insisted on escorting Giordynne home. It was thankfully still early enough in the morning to be dark out, and it had snowed overnight, leaving the roads a foot deep in unbroken white crust. It wasn’t a challenge for Giordynne’s pickup as Casey had raised the vehicle's suspension when he’d fixed it up for her birthday, and she always kept tire chains, along with other emergency items, in the lockbox that was welded to the truck's flatbed behind the cab.

Giordynne was driving this time, needing the distraction of focusing on the road to keep her from getting too wrapped up in the choice she had to make.

Without the radio, and with the blanket of snow, the silence was even more pronounced, broken only by the rumble of the engine. Jacob had arranged for a helicopter to stick close by, monitoring the route ahead to ensure there were no more ambushes to run into, and to take Jacob back once Giordynne was home safe.

As they pulled off the highway toward Falls End, Giordynne swore a silent thanks to whatever deity may or may not be listening that the place looked deserted, no sign that any of the residents were awake yet, the main strip illuminated in the warm glow of streetlamps and the garlands of Christmas lights that had been strung between them, crisscrossing over the road and making the place look like a picture on a greetings card.

Giordynne swung the truck into the driveway beside her home, thankful that it was on the side of the building that was largely hidden from view from most other houses and buildings close by. Killing the motor, there was a long moment of hesitation before either of them moved to get out of the truck. They both beat a hasty retreat toward the rear door of the property, the entrance Giordynne used solely for her apartment, as Giordynne gripped her keys hard enough to make her fingers ache in the frigid air.

“Do you wanna come in for a minute?” she asked as she kicked snow away from the foot of the door and shoved it open, knowing damn well she was taking a hell of a risk even considering it, but she wasn’t quite ready to let Jacob walk away just yet.

“Yeah,” he nodded, a little too eagerly for his comfort, but if anyone came out and saw them, they would be screwed.

Giordynne slapped at the wall to locate the light switch, lighting up the small entryway that connected the front area of the shop to the kitchen and bathroom in the rear, and the staircase they led up to the converted studio apartment that was more or less one large attic space that served as a combined living room, office and bedroom.

Jacob took a moment to get his bearings as Giordynne shrugged off her jacket and started busying herself with making coffee to take the chill off.

The way she clattered about the kitchen, fumbling in the cutlery drawer and slamming to fridge door told Jacob she was compensating for a rise in anxiety and he abandoned his glance around the small hallway to come into the kitchen, slipping his arms around her waist and nuzzling the top of her head to calm her down. The moment she felt his touch, she dropped the spoon in her hand and melted, leaning back against him and closing her eyes, letting him hold her until the shiver in her skin dissipated.

Jacob slowly turned Giordynne to face him, the same intimate atmosphere as last night filling the room as he skimmed his thumb across her cheek and cupped her jaw delicately before leaning in for a chaste, hesitant kiss.

Giordynne was surprised by the gentleness of it, reciprocating just as tentatively at first until Jacob found confidence and deepened the intensity, his hand sliding from her chin into her hair. Another moment and he had lifted her onto the counter to make up for the height difference, picking her up as though she weighed nothing and pressing against her as he threw caution to the wind and let passion rule him for a moment just long enough to leave Giordynne breathless before he was making apologies and regaining his composure.

“I should go before anyone sees me,” he muttered, looking wounded, but knowing that they had already pushed things far enough.

It stung Giordynne to hear it, but he was right. As much as there was a part of her inside that was loudly protesting and ready to tell the world to go to hell, now wasn’t the time.

Jacob hated that he had to leave, knowing that the helicopter marked with Eden’s Gate’s insignia that had landed in the field behind Giordynne’s house was hardly inconspicuous and would be seen sooner or later, but he wouldn’t leave her hanging without one last, lingering kiss before he bade her goodbye and made his exit.


	12. Polarization

There was no going back to how things were before. Even if she wanted to, something had fundamentally changed somewhere along the way. Giordynne didn’t know if it had happened the day the Project at Eden’s Gate had entered her life, or whether it had happened long before that, even before she came home from a pointless war in pieces. Whatever it was, something had snapped inside and it had been quietly building its rage under the surface, looking for cracks in the veneer, any excuse to work its way through to the outside, and before now, it had manifested in myriad forms of self-destruction.

Now it was seething with a sense of betrayal because, just when it had started to find an outlet that didn’t hurt her, that small beacon in the dark was now under threat by those she had considered her closest family and friends.

She hadn’t been able to go back to sleep when she got home. Between the jolt to her system and the weight of the decision she would need to make, her brain buzzed with activity that left her tossing and turning for three or so hours before she gave up and got on with the day, dragging herself in the shower and making herself somewhat presentable before her dad came over to exchange Christmas gifts, then they’d head over to the Spread Eagle to have dinner with the Fairgrave’s, their two kids, and Kenny, another Falls End resident that was about as close to a brother Giordynne had since Casey took the kid under his wing when Kenny and Giordynne were in high school.

When she unwrapped the gift Casey got her and saw that it was a customised tattoo gun and machine that had her name engraved on it, a spasm of guilt sprang up in Giordynne, wavering with doubt for only a moment as that little devil on her shoulder reminded her why she was forced to feel that doubt in the first place.

Still, she soldiered through like she had at Thanksgiving. It would not be fair on Drew and Mary May for Giordynne to spoil their Christmas by revealing to everyone she had been spending a considerable time at the Project. Even when Irene Fairgrave mentioned in passing that she’d been told by one of the neighbours that a truck had caught fire and exploded out by Silver Lake, Giordynne held her tongue, though she had to excuse herself from the table to dash to the bathroom to hide the rising first wave of a panic attack, her throat tightening as Giordynne fought back tears. She wanted to scream at them that she had been there. That it had not just spontaneously caught fire, and it damn near could have been her and Jacob if he hadn’t stopped in time.

Leaning her weight on the heels of her hands against the edge of the faucet, Giordynne dug her nails into her palms and bit her tongue until she tasted blood, breathing raggedly through gritted teeth. She stared in the mirror and wished Jacob were there to hold onto her until the pain subsided, but no amount of willing him to appear would make it so.

She was going to have to make it through this on her own, at least until she had stayed long enough that her leaving would not draw question. That meant it would be late afternoon to the early evening before she could slip away to seek relief from everything she was forced to bottle up behind a fake smile, only adding to the feeling of being trapped that had become a constant undercurrent lately.

The conversation hadn’t moved on when she got back to the table. While discussion about the truck itself had ended, it had naturally segued into one about Eden’s Gate. Gary speculated that the truck had had a fault due to poor maintenance on the Project’s part, saying that John Seed had probably bought up a bunch of vehicles headed for the scrap heap and that there wasn’t likely a capable mechanic among them. Irene said the neighbour seemed to think that the truck was carrying improperly stored dynamite, or some such other explosive material, bound for the old Catamount Mines that the cult had recently acquired, to which Gary scoffed and wished the cult the best of luck since the mine had run dry decades ago.

Giordynne couldn’t help notice that Casey had been relatively quiet during the exchange and she got an uneasy suspicion that he knew something that the Fairgrave’s didn’t, especially since Giordynne knew that her father’s real occupation meant he had connections most people didn’t even know existed.

“What do you think, Daddy?” she asked Casey deliberately, keeping her tone light while watching for any flicker of a lie.

Casey shrugged, not showing any sign that he knew his daughter was baiting him.

“Who knows? Wouldn’t be the first time something like that has happened in these parts. Been plenty of yahoos from out of state thinking they can go out on the lake and make an easy catch using explosives to stun fish. Sounds to me like, whatever happened, the poor son of a bitch never saw it coming.”

The answer didn’t satisfy Giordynne, but it didn’t give her definitive proof Casey knew the truth either. Defeated, she abandoned the line of questioning, letting the conversation continue on around her as Kenny and the kids chimed in their two cents worth before Gary made everyone change the subject to one a little less morbid, citing that the kids would have nightmares with all this talk about trucks randomly exploding in the county.

When the blessed moment came that Giordynne could finally get away from everyone, she felt exhausted, the act she had put on all day physically draining her to maintain. Playing her fatigue off as the result of an impending food coma-come-migraine, she made her excuses and ducked out. Casey moved to walk his daughter back home, but she dismissed him gently, saying she was just going to curl up in bed and fall asleep to cheesy Christmas movies, so she really didn’t need any babysitting. Besides, there was still plenty going on at the Fairgrave’s, as they always opened the bar later on so all the residents could come by for a drink to celebrate, whether it was an ice-cold beer, the mulled wine Casey made every year, or Irene’s signature boozy eggnog.

Back within the confines of her home, Giordynne could finally let the mask slip, just barely dragging her body upstairs to her apartment before she broke down, collapsing onto her bed and bursting into tears, great heaving sobs wracking her body as she let out the tsunami of emotions she’d held in all day. It took all of what little strength she had left to fight off that old familiar stress response, knowing that if she started down that road again, she would be unlikely to stop until it was too late. The most she would allow was to rake her fingernails harshly over the skin on her arms until the patches between her tattoos flushed redraw, raised welts causing ripples in the lines of her ink.

Giordynne cried herself hoarse, lying motionless until all that came from her were small, hiccupped whimpers, her face cut with tracks of black tears from run eyeliner, soaking and staining her pillow with the imprint of a mask of sorrow.

It felt like she had no way out. On the one hand, if she chose to walk away from Eden’s Gate, she would lose both Jacob and the outlet she’d finally found that was at least remotely healthy on the face of it, meaning there was an all to real danger that she’d fall back down the rabbit hole of destruction and despair, and she might not make it out alive to see another Christmas if she did. On the other hand, if she embraced the path that Eden’s Gate offered her, her friends and family would likely turn against her, or at the very least, she would face judgement and mockery far worse than she’d been on the receiving end of before when she’d disappointed people.

Without noticing, Giordynne’s exhaustion finally caught up with her and she fell asleep, still in her clothes and having not moved from the spot where she collapsed. Sleep brought her no rest or comfort though as her mental anguish brought with it nightmares that seemed to play through the various possibilities with each choice she made, twisted with fragments of memory from both the bombing of the truck and her time spent on an active battlefield.

She fell into a dream that had her running through the forest. As far as her dream senses went, there was the impression she was barefoot at first, chasing something that darted through the undergrowth ahead of her. Her awareness morphed suddenly as the pursuit played out. Giordynne was a wolf, and the thing she was chasing was a hare. She followed it through a thicket, only to stop suddenly at the sight of a man. Jacob stood there, holding the hare by its ears, neck broken and blood dripping from a slit in its gut as though it was being prepared for consumption. The wolf licked its jaws hungrily, front paws scratching and padding at the soil beneath it, waiting for its meal.

A gunshot cut the air with a deafening crack, diverting Giordynne’s attention as shouts came through the treeline. She turned back and saw that Jacob was no longer holding the hare. Instead, his shirt was bloody, the stain spreading around a circular hole. Giordynne moved to rush toward him as he staggered back. Another shot stopped her in her tracks, the air knocked from her lungs as the bullet hit and tore through her.

She looked to Jacob again, but he had vanished. The wolf limped forward, trying to escape whoever had put a bullet in her. Giordynne didn’t get far, the wound too great as her legs gave out from under her and she crashed into the leaf litter, the hunter catching up to her. As Giordynne lay there, struggling to breathe and losing gouts of blood by the second, she saw who had shot her. Grace stood over her, rifle in hand. Over her should came other voices, and she was soon joined by another dozen or so residents of Hope County, including Casey. They formed a circle around Giordynne, now suddenly very aware of being back in her human body, but still wounded, staring at her in silence for an agonizingly slow minute, then Grace raised her weapon again, coldly stating “The only good Peggie is a dead Peggie,” the second before she fired the killing shot.

Giordynne woke in a cold sweat with the sound of the gunshot ringing in her ears, the awareness of her surroundings taking just a moment too long to return to prevent the nightmare imprinting indelibly on her memory.

The shock and distress it caused immediately sent her into a panic attack, her disorientation fuelled by a dark sky beyond her window, telling her that she must have passed out and slept well into the night, confirmed by a frantic glance at her cell phone that told her it was well after 3 am. There wasn’t a hope in hell that Giordynne would be able to calm herself and fall back asleep, and the nightmare had frightened the most primal part of her brain enough to scream out for the only thing that could bring her out of it.

Trembling fingers tapped wildly at the touch screen, hitting speed dial and counting how many times it rang, praying for an answer as she fought to find enough composure to speak.

When she heard a groggy and slightly annoyed voice on the other end, she only managed to say his name before her ability to form words devolved into hysterical crying down the phone.

Jacob, immediately awake and alert the second he heard the state she was in, said only one thing.

“I’ll be there soon.”


	13. Transfiguration

No more than thirty minutes had passed between the phone call that had woken him and the helicopter touching down at the old baseball field just outside of Falls End, using the trees between as cover. Jacob would have landed closer, at the other end of the town, but the open fields were too exposed for him to take the chance of landing there a second time in recent days, and it was far less likely that anyone would spot a single crouched human figure silently crossing the expanse behind the rows of houses than a large and noisy helicopter.

Giordynne crashing out almost as soon as she’d gotten home the night before meant that she’d forgotten to lock the back door, so when Jacob finally got there, the ease in which he gained entry had him fearing the worst until he found Giordynne upstairs, pacing agitatedly and deep into a panic attack. She was so distraught that she didn’t notice the sound of the back door or footsteps on the stairs until Jacob was fully in the room, frantically checking around for signs of an intruder or whatever else might have caused her distress.

The sight of Jacob had Giordynne practically throwing herself across the room at him, burying her face into his chest, fistfuls of his shirt clutched tightly as she broke down and the hysterical sobbing returned.

Jacob could not see any obvious signs of injury on her body. No torn clothing or defensive wounds that he could see, temporarily ruling out the possibility someone had broken in and attacked her.

Scooping her up, he carried her over to the couch, where he carefully sat down, settling Giordynne in his lap, running his fingers through the messy tangles of her hair and making soothing noises to try to calm her enough to find out what had set her off again. Since there had been no apparent sign of physical harm to her, the next port of call was to work out whether this was the result of an interaction with someone much closer in Giordynne’s circle of friends or family; a likelihood given the heavy emphasis on family time that was given to the previous day.

While Jacob waited for Giordynne’s panic attack to wind down, his mind drifted through a handful of scenarios he imagined might have happened, picturing the faces of those from Falls End he had at least a passing familiarity with, though the one person closest to Giordynne overall wasn’t someone he had yet come across other than in name.

Casey Fixman seemed to make a habit of keeping his head down even on a good day. While names like the Fairgraves’ and Pastor Jerome Jeffries were known to Eden’s Gate, either due to John’s fruitless attempts to buy up property in the town or some other disagreement here and there, the only information Jacob had on Giordynne’s father was what she had told him herself, and that was very little in terms of useful information. At best, Jacob knew that Casey had a distrust of Eden’s Gate, but she had not elaborated on it.

When it seemed that Giordynne had finally cried herself out again, Jacob gave her a little longer, just to be sure, before he began trying to coax answers out of her.

It was possible that this was simply an aftershock from the night the convoy was attacked, a secondary episode of PTSD, triggered by the stress of the holidays and how things had been left between Giordynne and Jacob. If that was the case, Jacob rebuked himself for leaving her to handle it by herself. He should have known better than to leave her alone when he knew she was already in a delicate mental and emotional state.

Eventually, he decided he’d let enough time pass to be sure that Giordynne was past the worst and could stand up to questioning, confirmed when she slid out of his lap and curled up next to him instead as she told him what he wanted to know.

Giordynne relayed what had happened after he left; that she’d almost lost her shit in front of her dad and friends when they started talking about the incident out by Silver Lake, though that hadn’t been the tipping point as far as Jacob could ascertain. It was only when Giordynne began to tell him about the dream she had that things clicked into place.

The desperate tone in Giordynne’s voice as she recounted the dream told Jacob that she was afraid that he wouldn’t believe her, or that he’d laugh at her, and that might have been true if it had been anyone else that had told him that they had been so freaked out by a nightmare. He might have even called them weak for being spooked by such stupid things, but these were far from normal circumstances, and he knew first-hand that the night terrors that came with PTSD were by no means a standard bad dream. The content of Giordynne’s dream piqued his attention also. He didn’t know what it meant if someone dreamt they were an animal of any kind, but the familiar themes of the chase turning to being hunted, and finding familiar faces to now be enemies was one he understood far deeper than he cared to admit aloud.

After Giordynne had finished talking, Jacob was silent for a moment, looking like he was musing over something before he responded.

“I can help you,” he murmured a flicker of hesitation in his words. “I can teach you how to control it.”

Giordynne canted her head, a puzzled expression creasing her brow.

“Control what?”

“Your fear. I can teach you how to take back the power it has over you.”

“How?”

If Jacob suddenly knew some magic way to cure her PTSD then Giordynne was all ears, even though she could tell by his expression and tone that he thought that what he was about to suggest would not be well received.

“It won’t be easy,” he sighed, leaning forward and resting elbows on his knees, his chin on tented hands. “Fuck, I’ll be honest with you, it’ll be Hell, but it’ll work.”

“What do you mean?”

Jacob didn’t give her an answer. It was clear that whatever he was thinking, he was not entirely sure that he should even be mentioning it, much less that it was something she would willingly agree to.

“Do you remember how in basic training they break you down and build you up over and over again until you become what they want in a soldier?”

Giordynne didn’t like where this was going, but if Jacob had a point, then he better get to it fast.

“Similar concept, but by the end you don’t get chewed up and spat out by the military machine.” He explained, gauging her reaction carefully. “I think you’ve been struggling since you came home because, after they broke you and decided you were no longer fit for service, they stripped you of your purpose and sent you packing.”

Jacob’s assessment hit home hard like a punch in the gut, and Giordynne had to catch herself when the urge to slap him flared up.

Of course, he could have brought up all her childhood trauma as an additional factor, but as difficult as she’d had it growing up, Giordynne couldn’t deny that things had escalated exponentially after she lost her leg, especially since that had been the obvious trigger behind her most recent setback.

“So what? Do you want to make a soldier out of me again? Is that it?” she snapped angrily, “How the fuck is that supposed to help me?”

“Because you are a survivor, Giordynne. Wake up! I know you felt like you wanted to die that night you got fucked up and went for a walk around Angel’s Peak, and I know it’s not the first time you’ve tried to kill yourself!” Jacob barked, grabbing her wrists and forcing them face-up, making sure she realised he knew what the scars she had tried to hide with tattoos were from.

“You’re still here, not because you’re a failure at dying. You’re here because try as the world fucking might, it hasn’t managed to put you down yet!”

Giordynne snatched her hands away, the switch flipping and letting her rage bubble up, shedding any restraint as her fist connected with Jacob’s jaw.

“Fuck you!” she growled through gritted teeth, furious at him.

“See! All that anger you’ve been bottling up. Use it. You don’t want to be afraid anymore? Use that anger as fuel to beat it,” Jacob retorted, rubbing at the spot where she’d slugged him.

Though Giordynne was seething, there was a tiny part of her that saw his point. She was tired of being afraid and in pain all the time. She was tired of internalising everything, and now Jacob had torn that wound wide open, Giordynne realised it felt good to vent some of it.

“Maybe your dream was trying to tell you something? You’ve spent all this time being the rabbit, terrified and running yourself down when you should have been the wolf all along.” Jacob continued, lowering his tone again as Giordynne sat glowering at him coldly.

“I’m not saying I want to turn you into back into a soldier. I’m just saying that some of those techniques can be used for other purposes. In this case, to make you strong again. I’m not asking you to decide on it now. Just that it’s an option if you want it bad enough.”

“And if I do, then what?”

“Well, there’s still another choice you need to make,” Jacob reminded her, not liking that he had to bring it up, but that decision in itself was critical, given that what Jacob was proposing would require her to spend a lot more time away from Falls End.

“I still don’t know…”

“I know, but what’s the alternative? You try to go back to how everything was before? How long will that last before you can’t stand to be in your own skin again?”

Giordynne sucked in a breath and pouted, hating that he knew damn well she was painted into a corner.

Jacob relented, changing to a softer approach.

“Would talking to Joseph help?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed irritated, and shook her head noncommittally “Maybe?”

“Now?”

“It’s like 4 o'clock in the morning, Jake. Is he even awake at this time?”

He shot her a look when she called him Jake, but he let it slide without mention.

“You’ve been to a 3 am sermon before,” he countered with a smug grin.

“Fine,” Giordynne huffed, slapping her thighs in defeat.

* * *

For the flight over to the compound, Giordynne was second-guessing herself. On the one hand, she was still angry that Jacob had pulled the rug out from under her so hard, but on the other, she couldn’t help but admit to herself that she felt relieved at being seen, even if she’d never say it out loud to another living soul, much less Jacob.

She was still raw from her breakdown earlier, and the fight with Jacob had only frayed her nerves all the more, so by the time they touched down in the compound, she was picking at herself with anxiety all over again.

Jacob had stayed quiet. He’d kicked the hornet's nest tonight; a risky move with Giordynne still undecided on where she stood, and there was a chance he may have pushed her too far and lost any ground that had been gained in Eden’s Gate’s favour. That was the only reason he had brought her here instead. Joseph was a much more diplomatic influence than him, and it was unlikely that Giordynne would listen to anything else Jacob had to say for a while, at least until she had calmed down.

Joseph came out of a small building by the chapel and walked down toward the front gate as the helicopter landed. Of course, he had no idea they were coming, so seeing Giordynne there at this hour when there wasn’t a sermon was a surprise, and there was a brief questioning glance exchanged with Jacob as he greeted Giordynne warmly and gently inquiring the purpose of her visit, though he had immediately assumed that there was an urgency to it that could not wait until later in the day. Once Joseph had been told why Giordynne needed his counsel, he immediately ushered her back toward the building he had come from. Jacob followed, but Joseph gestured with his hand for his elder brother to wait outside, the soldier complying and taking it as confirmation he had screwed up.

The building Joseph had taken Giordynne into appeared to be Joseph’s own quarters, by Giordynne’s reckoning from the simple interior that comprised of a bed, a table and chairs, and a small kitchenette with a stove.

“Please, make yourself at home, Giordynne,” Joseph nodded, casting a hand in the direction of one of the chairs as he walked over to the stove to lift a tea kettle off the boil and collecting two cups from inside the cabinet, decanting water into both and letting the brew steep for around half a minute before offering one of the cups to her with an assurance that it would help to calm her nerves.

The tea was a welcome source of warmth in the winter chill, and though it wasn’t the type of tea she was used to, this was some sort of herbal mix that had notes of liquorice root chamomile, and something she couldn’t quite put her finger on, and a few sips in, she did start to feel a little less on edge.

They talked at length about Giordynne having trouble deciding on whether she wanted to commit to Eden’s Gate, and Joseph listened quietly while he learned just what exactly Jacob had done to exacerbate the situation, going so far as to apologise on his brother's behalf and assuring Giordynne that, while Jacob didn’t always have the most tact, he meant well and clearly had her best interests at heart despite his heavy-handedness. By the end of their conversation, Giordynne had regained some equilibrium again, and somehow, her anger and upset from earlier felt like a half-forgotten dream as Joseph escorted her back outside and walked her over to the chapel, having suggested she might like to have a little time to herself without disturbance, to reflect on things so that she may find some clarity enough to guide her in choosing her path.

Lighting a few candles to illuminate the chapel hall and letting Giordynne get settled in, Joseph then excused himself to go speak with Jacob, leaving her alone.

Giordynne closed her eyes and listened to the silence in the chapel, picking out the sound of water lapping at the shore by the side of the building, and the faint creaking of the wooden beams and panels as they contracted slightly from the cold weather. The calm she felt was oddly euphoric in a way that evaded her attempts to grasp it, and when she opened her eyes again, the light from the candles seemed brighter and more golden.

Contemplating over what Joseph had said only moments ago, one thing came to mind suddenly. During the conversation, Joseph had acknowledged that he was aware that Giordynne struggled with her beliefs and had difficulty in finding a connection with God. He had asked if she considered this to be a factor that prevented her from coming to a conclusion about her future, and, while a relationship with the Divine was something to be constantly worked at, even for him, perhaps she should give prayer a try, just for once, as Joseph found it to be effective in allowing an answer to present itself, regardless of the problem.

Had she been in another state of mind, Giordynne might have stuck to her scepticism, but in the present moment, something moved within her, carrying her forward to kneel at the altar and casting her gaze toward the ceiling, hands clasped in silent petition carried on a fluttered breath. Her sense of euphoria bloomed, making her feel weightless as her surroundings melted away into golden light. She remained suspended on the feeling for what seemed like hours until she finally heard a voice, distant but also like it was in her head, asking if she was ready.

A single word fell from her lips in answer as she submitted to her choice.

“Yes.”


	14. Consecration

By first light, preparations were being made for the baptism, people clearing snow from the path between the chapel and the water’s edge as dawn broke and cast the glimmer of the suns rays in the ripples across the lake like polished silver and gold.

Jacob had concerns that it was too soon. That they should wait a while, citing that the water was far too cold; that it could put Giordynne at risk of hypothermia or cardiac arrest from the shock, but Joseph dismissed it, telling Jacob that God would not let her come to harm and reminding his brother that he himself would be in the water for the entire duration of the ceremony, far longer than Giordynne, who would only be exposed for a matter of seconds to a couple of minutes.

In one of the dormitory buildings that housed female members of the Project, Giordynne was being prepared for the ceremony, having taken off what remained of her makeup and been given a simple, floor-length white cotton dress with thin straps to wear. One of the women who boarded at the compound styled Giordynne’s hair, brushing out any tangles, while another was busying herself with weaving white moonflowers into a garland to be worn on her head. If an onlooker were to witness the scene, they might have mistaken it to have been in preparation for a wedding rather than baptism.

When the time came, the women escorted Giordynne down to the lakeside, where Jacob and a large group of other Project members had gathered in witness, Joseph waiting halfway down the slope into the water for her.

As the ceremony began, Joseph formally introduced Giordynne as the newest member of their family and gave a short speech, taking hold of her hands as he led her slowly into the water. Giordynne could barely hide the gasp she let out at the freezing chill of the water, but she didn’t recoil from it, still under the lingering effects of the tea Joseph had given her no longer than two hours earlier. Wading deeper, both Joseph and Giordynne were now waist-deep, and she had begun to shiver visibly from the cold, much to Jacob’s discomfort as he observed in silence, watching as his brother gave a homily and took Giordynne’s face in his hands, cradling her as she held her breath, lowering into the water for the baptismal rite.

If she hadn’t been mildly sedated, she might have opened her mouth and gasped for air as the cold closed in, around and over her, a firm hand holding her down by her throat for several long seconds; long enough for shadows to ebb at the edges of her vision with the threat of unconsciousness before Joseph brought her up for air again and brought the ceremony to a close before delivering her back to the two women who had attended her earlier, instructing them to take Giordynne to the chapel once she was in warm, dry clothing again.

The jolt from the water had sent her body into an adrenaline rush, leaving Giordynne feeling an overwhelming elation and a complete disregard for what it was a physical sign of, the substance she’d been given earlier misleading her into believing that this was the spiritual experience Joseph had told her she had been subconsciously seeking in all of those times she had sought to hurt herself.

Jacob lingered by the waterside as the congregation departed, the elder brother casting his sibling a hard, accusatory look, to which Joseph stated “It is done.” with an equally stony expression, wading from the water and walking back toward the chapel, Jacob turning and falling into step behind him, growling under his breath in discontent.

Hundreds of candles had been lit in the chapel, warming the inside up considerably compared to outside, and the scent of beeswax and honeysuckle was thick in the air.

Joseph made no attempt to rid himself of his wet clothing, apparently unfazed by the cold fabric that clung to him, happy to let the warmth in the chapel dry him off in time.

“You could have waited,” Jacob admonished, making sure that the chapel door was closed and no one else was within earshot before speaking to the Father in such a way. “And you didn’t have to drug her.”

“You forced my hand, Jacob. You knew the girl was delicate and you almost chased her away from us. I did only what was necessary to fix your mistake.”

Joseph’s tone didn’t raise in the slightest, but his eyes relayed the threat behind the words. Jacob had stepped beyond the bounds of what he had originally supposed to have been doing, and he was coming dangerously close to Joseph seeing that he had developed an attachment to Giordynne, as fragile as it was, and especially given their earlier fight.

“You pushed too hard. You knew she wasn’t ready yet, and you almost undid all of our hard work,” the Father continued, turning his back to his brother and rearranging several items on the altar.

Jacob didn’t get a chance to respond, their disagreement disrupted by the chapel door opening as the women returned Giordynne, as per the Father’s instructions to them. Only then did Joseph’s expression change, the warm and unthreatening countenance returning to greet Giordynne and inquire how she felt now she had gone through the Cleansing in her formal initiation into the Project at Eden’s Gate. Giordynne enthused dreamily, her breathing still shallow from the cold and the scopolamine in her system. The way she spoke of the experience was as though her mental state had undergone a profound transformation in the last few hours, her pain and suffering all but a distant memory for now.

This was often how new initiates spoke after they were baptised, given that, since their arrival in Hope County, the Cleansing had evolved to include the administration of substances to help those who still lingered in doubt to shrug off their troubles and accept the word of the Father.

***

Normally, if Jacob had been around to witness a Cleansing, he left shortly after, but he did not want to leave Giordynne at the compound. After a Cleansing, there were occasionally initiates that didn’t handle things well when the drugs wore off and they came back down to reality to find that their problems had not magically vanished during their “enlightenment”.

He feared that Giordynne was a greater risk of falling into that category given how deep her problems ran, and he didn’t want her to return to lucidity only to send herself hurtling back down into the abyss when she realised what she’d done.

In the immediate hours after the Cleansing, Joseph had spent time instilling the rules that governed the Project into her. These largely revolved around what Joseph interpreted to be sinful, though he also told her that he understood that it may take some time for her to adjust to abiding by them. Giordynne was also informed that she was free to continue to live in Falls End if she wished to, and of course, she was allowed to remain in contact with her family and friends, as it was entirely the personal choice of a member if they preferred to devote themselves fulltime to Eden’s Gate. All that would be asked of her now that she was one of Joseph’s flock was that she was to check in daily and commit a portion of her free time in service of the Project.

By the time Giordynne left the chapel again, the scopolamine had worn off and she was left in a lucid but peaceful state, considerably calmer at having her burden lifted from her.

Jacob had been outside in the yard since Giordynne had been brought back to the chapel. He had taken up position by the large bonfire that was kept burning continuously through the colder months since the buildings in the compound lacked any heating beyond a small wood burner in each of the dormitories.

Giordynne found him staring intently into the flames, watching for a moment until he registered her presence.

Jacob was hesitant to speak to her at first, silently trying to reconcile the warring emotions in his head. He was also afraid that she would remember that she was angry at him and would pick up where that anger left off.

She waited until he gestured to her to join him by the fire before she moved any closer. Giordynne had recalled their fight and what had caused it, but the fury she’d held earlier had dissipated to nothing, replaced with new clarity that allowed her to acknowledge the real reason she had reacted so heatedly in the first place. Sitting down on the log that had been left by the fire to be used as a bench, Giordynne kept a respectful distance, pulling her coat tighter around her and hugging her knees, keenly aware of the awkward tension between them but not knowing how to break it.

“I’m sorry,” Jacob mumbled a few seconds later, breaking it for her. “I shouldn’t have pushed you the way I did.”

“I’m… sorry I punched you in the face.” She countered, fidgeting and picking at a spot of dried mud on her boot.

Jacob cracked a smirk and relaxed a little.

“I deserved it.”

“Yeah, you did.”

The conversation lulled again for a moment, though the awkwardness was melting away, much to both of their relief.

“And maybe I was only pissed at you ‘because you were right, and it scared me,” Giordynne admitted, a little begrudgingly, but since she was feeling ready to face up to a lot of things right now, it was better to say it now rather than waiting until she got too self-conscious again.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just… not great at emotional stuff sometimes. At least not in the way Joseph is, I mean.”

“Maybe we’re both a little fucked up in that department?”

“Hmm, yeah.” Jacob huffed in agreement, picking up a piece of wood and tossing it onto the fire.

With each break in the conversation, things got a little less strained, though they were still both cautiously circling around the obvious question that stood between them. Now that Giordynne was officially part of Eden’s Gate, that took some of the strain off in terms of any potential relationship, though they would still need to keep it largely a secret for the sake of her home life.

“So, what do we do now?” Giordynne asked, warming up enough to stretch out a little.

“About what?”

“You said you wanted to help me, remember?” she reminded him, letting him know that she was at least willing to have an open mind about trying his methods to remedy her PTSD. “What do we do about that, and what do we do about this?”

Giordynne gestured vaguely with her hand back and forth between them, but her meaning was clear.

Jacob shifted in his seat, exhaling slowly and casting a cautionary glance around to make sure no one was looking in their direction before he surreptitiously slid his hand over hers and gave it the lightest of squeezes.

“I guess we’ll figure that out along the way. On both accounts. All I know right now though is that whatever _this_ is, I don’t want to fuck it up and risk losing you.”


	15. Temptation

“Isn’t drinking alcohol supposed to be against the rules?”

They had driven to the next county over to avoid prying eyes and disapproving looks, finding a dive bar a mile or so over the border that promised cold beer and hot wings, and a little discretion on the side.

“I won’t tell if you don’t?” Jacob grinned, picking up the bottle of beer in front of him and taking a swig. “Besides, what Joseph don’t know won’t hurt him, right?”

A girlish smile spread across Giordynne’s face and she shifted shyly, curling her fingers around the tumbler containing her drink and tracing circles in the condensation on the glass. While the place was hardly the Ritz, the bar Jacob brought her too was just the right mix of homey and rough around the edges. It reminded her of the Spread Eagle back home, if the Eagle was frequented by bikers and truckers instead of farmers and small-town locals, and it suited the aesthetics of Giordynne’s sensibilities perfectly.

While this was hardly the first time they had spent together, this was, for all intents and purposes, about as close as they’d come to having a first date, as casual as the setting may be, though Giordynne thought it was perfectly fitting.

She’d never really been the sort of girl who liked fancy restaurants or formality, so just hanging out and taking things as they came had her in her element, and it looked to be just as comfortable for Jacob, Giordynne noting how he seemed so much more relaxed when out from under the expectations and responsibilities he had in the Project. It didn’t escape her notice that his eyes would drift cautiously toward the door whenever someone entered the bar.

They’d slipped away from Hope County after evening sermon at the Father’s compound, Jacob leaving one of his lieutenants in charge at the Veterans centre, spinning a lie that he would be out for the night on Project business, while Giordynne had told her dad that she was planning to go out with friends; not quite as untruthful, but she didn’t say who she was going out with, and Casey hadn’t been around when Jacob had come to pick her up in his own private vehicle, a Jeep Cherokee in khaki green that was every inch the kind of car Giordynne would have expected him to drive, complete with a roll cage, no doors and an ancient radio that had a tape deck and nothing else.

Jacob had not told her where he planned on taking them, despite Giordynne’s repeated asking on the drive out, which grew more persistent when they crossed the county line. The bar had been a welcome sight though when Jacob swung the Jeep off the road and into the parking lot.

Giordynne flagged down the waitress and ordered a bucket of wings for her and Jacob to split while he went to feed enough money into the jukebox to take up the next few hours’ worth of songs. Giordynne couldn’t hide the grin on her face as a single guitar and drum beat came over the speakers, Glenn Danzig growling “Mother, tell your children not to walk my way” melodically over the intro as Jacob strolled back to the table.

“Well aren’t you full of surprises?” Giordynne purred teasingly, starting to feel the first prickle of a warm buzz from the alcohol as she sloshed an ice cube around her glass. “Next thing you’re going to tell me you like the Misfits?”

“Wouldn’t that be something’?” Jacob laughed, sitting back down and noting the way Giordynne got a little pink flush to her cheeks when she drank, noticeable to him even in the dim light of the bar with how pale her skin usually was.

“I ordered food,” she informed him, pointing toward the bar, though Jacob guessed this already as he had seen Giordynne speaking to the waitress.

“Jake, you like hot wings, right? ‘cause if you don’t, I’m gonna have to eat the whole bucket by myself and that’s not very ladylike.”

“Yeah, I like hot wings.” He answered, something inside flinching slightly at having been called Jake again, but he wasn’t going to spoil the moment by saying anything about.

If anything, Jacob was far more focussed on watching Giordynne come out of her shell and enjoy herself for a night without her usual worries or everything being overshadowed by having to constantly check themselves around the Project or family members.

He caught himself staring at her with a warm feeling as she talked animatedly, her inhibitions clearly loosened up with some good old social lubricant, Giordynne’s smile reaching her eyes and pulling Jacob in as he studied her face. He knew she had brown eyes but hadn’t actually taken the time before now to really look at them and how, even though they were deep brown for the most part when the light caught them just right, they flashed with flecks of amber.

His reverie was only broken when she seemed to stop suddenly, her expression changing to self-doubt as she asked if she was talking too much. Jacob shook his head and reassured her that he liked hearing her talk, especially about things that interested her.

To him, there was nothing more attractive to him than watching her pour her heart out about her passions, completely unrestrained and unedited, showing him parts of herself that she kept hidden from others out of self-consciousness.

The thought that Giordynne had learned the habit of keeping her deepest passions and desires to herself after being faced with disinterest from others she had shared them with struck Jacob suddenly and it stung him. Here was a girl who was so smart, talented and resilient, and who he found so damn attractive for more than just the way she looked, and the thought that someone in her life at one time or another had taught her to fear showing all of that to the world had him feeling a twinge of anger.

He swallowed it down with a mouthful of beer, the conversation interrupted briefly as the waitress arrived with their food.

Giordynne seemed oblivious to the temporary shift in Jacob’s demeanour, preoccupied with the bucket of wings and his giving her the green light to continue with what she was saying before her momentary faltering in confidence. As quickly as it came on though, Jacob was back to enjoying himself, the conversation picking back up, though with intermittent pauses as bites of heavily spiced chicken were consumed.

In the course of the bucket being emptied to nothing but bones and grease, Jacob had learned more about Giordynne’s childhood and teenage years, snippets of stories prompted and revealed with changes in song as the jukebox cycled through everything he had selected.

He learned that she had been in a short-lived punk band in junior high, that she had once had a cat named Gomez that had unfortunately met his end under the wheels of a semi-truck, that she and her best friend had enlisted exactly one year to the day after 9/11, as Giordynne had only then recently turned eighteen at the time, and that she had completed her advance training as a line medic before her second deployment and subsequent injury. Giordynne also told him how her dad used to take her hunting growing up, though they hadn’t done so since she came home from battle and moved into her own place, the thought of it seeming to make her a little maudlin and quiet before she shook herself out of it and asked Jacob if he played pool.

The sudden shift threw him a little, but he gestured toward the table and offered her a game, even if just to distract her from that creeping pull of emotion, she had just experienced.

Giordynne played coy at first, flirtatiously acting as though she was terrible at the game and asking for pointers, to which Jacob gladly obliged, pressing himself against her behind as he helped her line up her shot. He ultimately won the game, offering her a rematch. He should have known better when she agreed and suggested they raise the stakes a little, but with more than a few beers in his system and the relaxed atmosphere, he didn’t pick it up.

Accepting her challenge, Jacob let her go first and watched as she potted three from the break.

Suddenly things got competitive, Jacob recognising a hustle when he saw one, making him laugh at his own short-sightedness.

“All yours,” Jacob breathed as he passed by Giordynne and leant against the wall behind her, quite enjoying the view when she bent to take her shot.

The game came down to the 8-ball with an even score, Giordynne set to take the win when the track on the jukebox changed to Only You by the Platters, the change of pace from Jacob’s previous choices distracting her enough to miss her shot.

“Ooh, hard luck, sweetheart. Too bad,” he teased light-heartedly as he sank the black into the top pocket with a crack, then returned to offer his commiserations, holding his pool cue upright by the tip end, feeling definitely more than a little tipsy now. Giordynne seemed to be in the same boat, judging from the lazy smirk curling her lip as she took a step toward him.

“Good game,” she giggled softly, biting her lip. “I’ll beat you next time.”

“Oh, next time? So, you’d like there to be a next time then?” Jacob quizzed in a playful tone, setting down his cue and pulling Giordynne to him.

“Mhmm,” she hummed, swaying slightly in Jacob’s arms.

“Shall we get out of here?” he asked, tucking a rogue strand of hair behind Giordynne’s ear as she nodded dreamily in agreement.

Once they had retrieved their jackets, they left the bar, Jacob with his arm around Giordynne to steady her. Neither was completely drunk, but they were both a little unsteady as Jacob guided her across the lot to the Jeep.

“You’re not driving!” Giordynne stated, swiping at Jacob’s hand when he took out his keys.

“Well, how are we going to get back?” he countered, stifling a giggle at the way she had pawed at him. “I can’t exactly call anyone to pick us up.”

Giordynne’s head lolled a little on her shoulders as she looked up at him, her face scrunching cutely as she tried to think of a solution that wouldn’t result in them being busted or ending up running off the road.

“What about that?” she asked, waving her arm in the direction of the motel across the street from the bar.

“That’ll work,” Jacob laughed, readjusting his grip on Giordynne as they diverted.

Thankfully, the little office that served as the motel's reception was open and occupied, a short man with a balding head that vaguely reminded Giordynne of Danny DeVito sitting behind the desk with his feet propped up, watching a portable television when they entered and requested a room, paid the fee and acquired a key card.

The room was basic but not shabby, the décor a little outdated if anything, but the place was relatively well kept, and the queen size bed was in far better condition than most motels in a similar price range.

As Jacob closed the door, Giordynne took off her coat and boots and curled herself up on the end of the bed, waiting impatiently for him to join her. When Jacob sat down, she moved closer, seeking out his affection again and finding it in a lazy, sloppy kiss, Jacob tasting a hint of bourbon and cola mixed with hot sauce on her lips as he wrapped his arms around her and practically hoisted her half into his lap.

Giordynne whimpered softly, the sound muffled and sweet. Her hands slid to the back of Jacob’s neck, where she traced her fingertips over the soft fuzz of where Jacob shaved his hair. The sensation tickled, making kiss her more hungrily, slipping his tongue between parted lips to chase more of that sweet spice on her breath as Giordynne moved her hands under the collar of his jacket trying to push it off him. Jacob shrugged out of it and let it fall to the floor, shifting his body weight to move both of them further up the bed so that they could lay down comfortably, gentle in his movements to avoid being too heavy-handed with her as though he believed he would break her if he got too carried away.

She seemed to pick up on his caution and deliberately rolled onto her back, tugging on the front of Jacob’s shirt and pulling him down on top of her before returning her hands to the back of his neck, leaning up to leave little pecks around his mouth that brought a small laugh out of him as he leaned in and began to lay kisses along her jaw and to her throat, letting his hands wander down her body to explore her curves.

The heat of the moment was dizzying, Giordynne sliding her hand beneath Jacob’s t-shirt and raking her nails softly over his skin. Jacob let out a growl right by her ear, grazing his teeth over the tender flesh in the hollow beneath it, sending a shudder running through Giordynne’s body that encouraged him to dare to nip her throat just to see if he could get her to do it again. She responded by dragging her nails harder over his back and pushing her hips up against his.

Jacob paused just long enough to pull off his t-shirt and toss it aside, resuming his assault on her throat and collarbones, his face pressed against her skin enough to be surrounded by her scent.

He flinched slightly when Giordynne’s fingers brushed over the scar on his shoulder, having never really allowed anyone to touch his scars before, but he was too deep in the moment to start getting uptight about it. Instead, he focused on ridding Giordynne of the tank top she was wearing, at first only pushing it up to her chest so that he could trail kisses over the skin on her stomach, revelling in every little noise and shiver he pulled from her. Within moments, her top was up above her head, wrapped around her forearms. Jacob used it to pin her for a long moment, mapping out all the places on her torso where she seemed most sensitive.

As he kissed and nuzzled at the contours of Giordynne’s stomach, he paused as he reached the waistband of her jeans. As much as he didn’t want to stop, he was very much aware that they were both quite inebriated, and he didn’t want to push things further without making sure that Giordynne was lucid enough to consent.

When Jacob stopped, Giordynne leaned up and looked at him in momentary confusion.

“What’s wrong?” she asked breathlessly, teetering on the edge of worry.

“We’ve both been drinking,” Jacob answered, trying not to sound like he was rejecting her. “We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready. I’d rather wait until you…”

She hushed him before he could end his sentence, sitting up and pulling him back into a kiss.

“Jake, I want this,” she whispered, her fingers grazing his jaw. “I want you.”

“Why do you keep calling me that?” he asked, nuzzling at her.

“I can stop if you want me to?”

There was barely a split second of hesitation before he answered “No.”, finally deciding that he liked it when she did.

“Nobody has ever called me that before is all. Not even when I was a kid.”

“Looks like tonight is full of firsts,” she murmured sweetly, kissing him again, catching his bottom lip with her teeth and tugging ever so slightly.

There was another slight pause before Jacob resumed lavishing attention upon Giordynne’s flesh, starting over at her throat and working his way down, this time unbuttoning her jeans without hesitation and sliding them down enough to expose her panties, gripping her hips with both hands and burying his face against the lacey fabric to lay down more kisses, his arousal growing when Giordynne dove her hands into his hair and arched her back.

Jacob took the signal and ran with it, carefully tugging Giordynne’s jeans off the rest of the way and nudging her thighs apart, resuming his slow and deliberate task of exploring every inch of her body, delighting in the loud gasp he pulled from her when he nipped at the skin on the inside of her right thigh, sucking a cluster of small purple bruises into the milky flesh there and growling with pleasure as Giordynne tugged on his hair in response, giving him permission to go further.

Slipping his fingers under the thin fabric of her panties, he made short work of removing them before he grabbed her hips again roughly and dragged her toward him, licking his lips and burying his face between her legs with a feral sound, manoeuvring Giordynne’s legs over his shoulders, his fingertips digging eagerly into her flesh. The eagerness and skill of his tongue had Giordynne shuddering toward orgasm in moments, her whole body going into spasm as she tipped over the edge. Jacob kept going, tightening his grip on her with one hand as he brought the other down, licked two of his fingers and teasing her briefly before pushing them gently inside her.

Giordynne arched and writhed, still twitching lightly with the ebbing waves of her first orgasm, unable to escape the heavenly onslaught of Jacob’s mouth. It wasn’t until he had brought her to a second climax that he relented, Giordynne’s body recoiling a little once Jacob eased his hold on her, in need of a moment to collect itself before anything else happened.

Moving back toward the head of the bed, he lay down beside Giordynne to give her a moment to catch her breath and decide if she wanted to go further. If Giordynne couldn’t take any more for the night, he was content to leave it at that, despite the insistent ache for his own release. Giordynne only needed a moment or so though before she told him she wanted to continue.

Jacob wasted no time, withdrawing from Giordynne’s embrace just long enough to remove the last of his clothes, then crawling over her to lay kisses down her body again, unhooking the fastenings on her bra and throwing it over his shoulder so that they were both now fully naked. He paused again to ask what position she preferred, getting his answer in the way Giordynne pointedly pulled him down on top of her, letting his full weight press her down into the mattress and wrapping her legs around his thighs.

Easing into her, Jacob set a slow pace at first, letting Giordynne give him signals with her body language for what she wanted him to do as he enveloped her in his arms, pushing his face into the crook of her neck again to kiss and bite her.

Giordynne took to raking her nails over his back again, digging them in slightly harder this time around to let Jacob know she wanted him to be a little rougher with her in turn.

He gladly obliged, snapping his hips forward more forcefully as he pulled her legs up around his waist to get a deeper angle of penetration, letting himself get lost in the flurry of sensation and the irresistible sound he was pulling out of Giordynne with every thrust as she clung to him for dear life, caught up in a rapturously slow build to yet another orgasm, catching herself feeling giddy with surprise at Jacob’s skills as a lover. That divinely torturous climb didn’t hold her in plateau too long as Jacob chased down his own end, almost animalistic in the way he held onto her, possessively enough to take her breath away as they both reached the edge and tumbled over into their undoing, Jacob breathing hard as they collapsed into a hot, sweaty tangle of limbs.

They remained entwined together in the stillness after, comfortable to remain, little nuzzles, and soft kisses lazily exchanged until sleep pulled them both under.


	16. Coercion

“You seem quite distracted of late, Jacob. Is there something troubling you?”

Joseph wasn’t asking out of brotherly concern. He knew that his older sibling had abandoned his post at least once and lied about his whereabouts, the Father having more than a suspicion as to why but wanting to see if his brother would be honest about it.

“No, nothing at all,” Jacob lied, shaking his head and acting as though he had no idea what Joseph was talking about.

“Good. I am glad to hear that,” Joseph returned, offering a smile that didn’t reach his eyes behind the yellow lenses of his glasses. “I trust then that you had a good reason to have abandoned your post the other night?”

The question went unanswered as the sound of wheels on gravel came from outside the entrance of the ranch John Seed called his home.

John had been feigning ignorance of the situation, pretending to have occupied himself with some paperwork on the mezzanine level that overlooked the main hall of the building, while his brothers conversed below. He was not one to completely disregard anything said within earshot of him, however, and he had been forewarned to expect a guest at any moment.

With the sound of the vehicle pulling up outside, John played the dutiful host and went to open the door to greet their visitor.

Giordynne had received a call from the Father inviting her to come to the ranch as there was something important that required her attendance. No other details were given, leaving Giordynne somewhat confused, and in all honestly, a little nervous at the apparent urgency of whatever it was that Joseph needed her to come there for, especially as she had only previously been required to attend the compound.

“Ah, Miss Fixman, welcome!” John beamed as he threw open the front door of the ranch and stepped outside to greet her. “Please, come inside. The Father is expecting you.”

“I told you before, John, you can call me Giordynne,” she frowned, more bewildered than ever at this sudden formality.

“Of course. Apologies, Giordynne.” He corrected himself, guiding her with one hand on the small of her back and gesturing inside with the other.

Crossing the threshold into the building, her confusion was replaced with a sudden flash of panic at the sight of Jacob, the expression on his face telling her he was just as surprised to see her, though both quickly buried any trace of it.

“You wanted to see me about something, Father?” Giordynne inquired, trying her best to ignore the urge to look back at Jacob.

“That is correct, Giordynne. You see, as an initiate of Eden’s Gate, it is important that you undertake the next step on your path with us. You have already been Cleansed, my child, but if you are to completely rid yourself of your past sins and transgressions, you still must go through confession so that you can reach atonement.”

The explanation served to lessen her apprehension only a little, but it seemed a reasonable enough request to ask of her given the vow she had taken at her baptism.

“Alright,” she agreed, not catching the flicker in Jacob’s gaze upon hearing those words as she had her back to him at that moment.

She did, however, see John’s expression change, his smile broadening, confusing Giordynne all over again. Surely, she could have given confession at the chapel on the compound. Why would it be necessary for her to come to John’s house specifically for such a purpose?

And then she spotted something out of the corner of her eye that made her suddenly extremely uncomfortable.

There, on the table nearby, was a tattoo machine. Giordynne’s blood ran cold, hoping that that wasn’t meant for her, though it was hard to imagine it would be for anyone else’s benefit since she hadn’t been asked to come to the ranch to tattoo anyone else.

She had seen the Father with a shirt at dozens of sermons and seen that he had several of his sins etched into his own skin, though the scars were clean and long since healed, so she had never thought anything more of it until now, and it only hammered the realisation home harder when she realised that John had a very recent wound just below the v of his shirt that could easily be overlooked as a handful of scratches if one wasn’t paying attention, but now she was looking at them, she could see the distinct intersection of some of them that clearly formed letters.

“Wait, “

Giordynne faltered, hoping to hell that she had it all wrong. “By confession, do you mean- “

The words died in her throat as she looked between John, Joseph and the tattoo machine.

“Yes,” John answered, looking almost gleeful that he was about to return the favour of marking her skin. “We all must confess our sins. Even the Father.”

Giordynne started to back up away from him and the machine to find Joseph now blocking her path to the exit. Giordynne looked frantically at Jacob, but he seemed rooted to the spot, a look of both horror and confliction on his face, knowing that neither of them could do anything to prevent what was coming without their relationship being dragged into the light.

“Shh, my child,” Joseph soothe, gently taking hold of Giordynne’s arm and turning her back to face him. “The greatest way that we can purge our sins is through pain. It is when our souls are most open and ready to receive forgiveness. You must confess and atone, or when the Collapse comes, the gates of Eden will remain shut to you. Do you understand?”

Giordynne nodded, her eyes stinging with tears.

“The power of Yes is a wonderful thing,” John assured her, taking hold of Giordynne’s hands, leading her to the table and sitting her down before readying the tattoo machine.

Feeling dazed and helpless, Giordynne could only stare defeatedly in response to John’s platitudes, glancing at the gun attached to the machine that lay on the table beside her and catching sight of rust coloured specks in an unmistakable splash pattern that told her John had used it before on at least one other person, making her recoil inwardly on instinct.

Picking up the gun, John moved toward her, pausing as he noticed that Giordynne didn’t have any bare spaces on her arms that would comfortably house any word he was going to carve into her skin. He cleared his throat audibly, as though he was embarrassed to ask her to remove her shirt so that he could find a suitable spot, causing Giordynne to roll her eyes in disgust, pulling it up and off over her head, exposing areas on both her stomach and her back that had not yet been filled with ink.

John smiled and nodded appreciatively and moved in again, only to then be interrupted by Joseph.

“John, wait,” he instructed sternly, his gaze impassive.

“I think Jacob should be the one to hear Giordynne’s confession.”

The surprise was palpable between John, Jacob and Giordynne, John almost spluttering to get his words out.

“But I am the one who…”

“John.”

The younger Seed was silenced immediately by the tone with which his name was spoken, putting the gun back down on the table and stepping away, barely covering a sullen expression as he did so.

The Father turned his attention to Jacob, who’s expression silently pleaded with his brother to not make him do this, but he found no relenting in Joseph’s insistent stare, and with clear reluctance, he moved forward to take John’s place.

They exchanged distressed looks with each other as he sat down beside her and picked up the tattoo gun.

“John, please leave us,” Joseph ordered his younger sibling. “As you know, the confession is a deeply private and intimate thing. Do not return until we are done here.”

John bobbed his head slightly in acknowledgement and skulked off to another part of the ranch, nursing a bitterness at having been robbed of the chance to hear Giordynne’s confession, but understanding that his dismissal was not personal, at least not for him.

As soon as John had gone, Joseph prompted Jacob again, his patience growing thin with every moment the elder brother hesitated. Jacob gave Giordynne an apologetic look before seeming to force himself to shut down and get on with it, and as much as it saddened Giordynne to see him give in like that, she understood why. Straightening up and bracing herself against the edge of the table, she dug her teeth into her lip as the needle broke the skin, Jacob’s hand shaking as he carved each word that Joseph told him to into Giordynne’s flesh, starting with sloth and followed by gluttony, pride and finally lust.

The wounds were deeper than any tattoo should be, made all the worse by Jacob’s trembling hand and lack of training, and they hurt far worse than all of the other times Giordynne had gone under the needle, a few silent tears slipping down her cheeks as she bore down and took the pain, willing her mind to go somewhere else until the ordeal was over.

When Joseph was satisfied, both Giordynne and Jacob were told they could leave if they so wished, though he advised that Giordynne’s open wounds be cleaned, treated and dressed before she went anywhere. Jacob looked shellshocked and distraught, silent and avoiding eye contact with either Giordynne or his brother as he got up and walked away.

Joseph had made his point, that much was made crystal clear to both of them.

Giordynne waited until the Father left the hall before she dared go after Jacob, though she was under no illusions that Joseph probably knew that was exactly what she was going to do. She found him standing on the other side of the hall beyond the fireplace that split it down the middle, standing motionless aside from the noticeable shake in his hands, stained with her blood.

When she approached him and reached out to gently touch his arm, Jacob flinched at the contact, apparently startled out of a daze as he turned and saw her. He couldn’t stand to look at her for more than a split second though as the sight of the blood and the ugly, jagged lettering made him feel sick with disgust at himself, pulling away and walking outside to get some air.


	17. Confession

The ground felt like it had dropped out from under him.

Bile rose at the back of Jacob’s throat as he slumped to the floor and put his back to the wall, trying to use it as a physical anchor when everything else was in freefall. It didn’t matter that it was the middle of January and there was still snow on the ground. Fuck, if he froze to death, it would be a small mercy to him.

He wanted to burn it all to the ground. Every last fucking thing that he had built for Eden’s Gate, but he knew that if he did, he would be left with nothing again but himself, and that was a fate worse than death.

Jacob could have been sat there for minutes or hours for all he cared, staring straight ahead at nothing as his thoughts closed in around him. It wasn’t until John came outside that he moved at all, the eldest brother turning his head slowly in a side-on look to the youngest. John approached cautiously, his expression remorseful and posture entirely non-threatening, hyperaware of the weight of the situation at hand.

He started to say something, but Jacob wasn’t listening enough to catch it, despite his gaze burning into John as he stood there. Then John made the mistake of saying one word that Jacob was all too attuned to: Giordynne.

In a startling display of speed for a man Jacob’s build, he was on his feet before John could end his sentence, the younger brother pinned by his throat against the wooden cladding on the external wall of the ranch.

“Did you know?” Jacob demanded, growling through his teeth as his fingernails dug into the flesh around his baby brother’s trachea.

John struggled futilely, wanting only to get enough breath to answer.

“I knew Joseph wanted her to go through confession,” he gasped out, knowing better than to try to prize Jacob’s hand away from his neck. “But that’s all. I swear, I had no idea he planned to make you do it. I didn’t even know the two of you were- “

“Liar!” Jacob barked, easing up just enough to slam John back against the wall.

“No, no, I swear!” John insisted, his tone growing more desperate as the seconds passed. “It’s the truth. I didn’t know!”

Jacob paused, studying John’s reactions carefully for any sign of deception, but found his brother to be sincere for once. It quelled his anger none though, as, even if Jacob hadn’t been there, Joseph would have had John mark Giordynne anyway, and Jacob would have been just as furious at him for that.

John flinched as Jacob’s fist wound back, swearing a silent prayer of thanks when the punch connected with the wall beside his head instead of his face and Jacob finally let go of him. John might have been a lot of things, but he wasn’t stupid. When it came to his brothers, John’s loyalty ran deep anyway, but he knew far better than to antagonize Jacob in any way, lest something like this happen.

Jacob nursed his hand as he turned away, his fury dampened for a moment, but only because John’s admission made it clear that he too had been ambushed in that moment, though to a lesser extent.

“She’s in the upstairs bathroom. I keep a first aid kit in there,” John revealed quietly, rubbing at his neck.

“Joseph left five minutes ago, so if there’s anything to salvage from this mess, now would be an opportune time. “

John had been truthful when he said he did not know that he and Giordynne were a thing. As far as he had been led to believe up until that point, Giordynne’s confession was to be no different than anyone else’s at Eden’s Gate. The moment Joseph said that Jacob was to do it though, it became clear that it wasn’t so much a confession as it was punishment for Jacob stepping out of line, and Giordynne was simply collateral damage.

Jacob moved like a wounded bear as he turned back toward inside, no apology offered, but John did not expect one in the least.

Climbing the stairs slowly, Jacob weighed up the probability that Giordynne might not even want to see him now, or at least that she would likely be back at square one with the fragile trust between them. When he reached the bathroom, he froze, hovering outside the door as the vision of what he’d caused reared up in his mind again, but he had to push through it, even if it was only to check on her and find out just exactly how bad he’d fucked everything up.

Bloody knuckles tapped hesitantly on the door, only to find it unlocked as it swung open freely by a few inches, allowing him to hear a sniffling noise from within, but no protest at the intrusion.

Apprehensively, Jacob pushed the door open further. Giordynne was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, the open first aid kit on the countertop nearby, but undisturbed beyond that as though no attempt to dress her wounds had been made. Her face was pale and puffy, evidence of tears cutting tracks through a smudge of blood across her cheek from where she had tried fruitlessly to wipe them away.

The sight that welcomed Jacob broke his heart all over again, and he had to fight hard to squash the urge to run, making himself walk further into the room.

Giordynne stayed where she was, not moving other than to acknowledge his presence. Her brown eyes were dark, almost black when she looked up at him and filled with an unfathomable sadness that Jacob felt down to his bones.

Closing the door behind him, Jacob didn’t bother to lock it. He knew that John would give them all the space they needed.

For a long moment, neither moved nor said anything, letting the heaviness of the atmosphere sit between them as they assessed the fallout. Giordynne was still bleeding and the way she held her breath every so often let Jacob know that it hurt as bad as it looked. Picking up a hand towel off the nearby rail, he folded it roughly and pressed it firmly to the wounds on her stomach, Giordynne letting out a strangled whine and shutting her eyes in response, but she held still and let Jacob help her.

Neither said a word in the time it took to staunch most of the bleeding, get Giordynne cleaned up and start to dress the ragged gouges in her flesh, but Jacob did his best to be as gentle as he could manage. Some of the cuts were deep enough that they likely needed stitching, but in the absence of the ability to do so, the paper kind that the first aid kit had were the best they had to work with.

Only after Giordynne’s wounds had been treated fully and Jacob was washing his hands did she notice the gashes on his knuckles and swelling that suggested he had broken a bone or two.

“A wall or your brother?” she croaked, trying half-heartedly to make a joke to lighten the atmosphere despite the very real possibility of either as her fingers curled softly around Jacob’s wrist and pulled his hand toward her for a better look. He almost pulled his hand away on instinct, but the movement sent a jolt of pain up his arm that confirmed he had indeed broken something, and it made him wince audibly.

Now it was Giordynne’s turn to play nurse, wrapping Jacob’s hand with some gauze and a bandage, making sure to bind the index and little fingers together in a makeshift splint to keep his broken metacarpal bones from moving around too much while they set back in place.

Giordynne couldn’t stand Jacob’s continued silence, even though it was justified. He was sitting on the edge of the bath now, his head low. Giordynne raised her hand, tentatively curling her fingers around Jacob’s jaw. There was a slight recoil from him before he leaned into her hand with an intensity that betrayed how touch-starved he had been. Still, he avoided making eye contact, until Giordynne gently tipped his face up to look at her.

“I forgive you,” she whispered, the words catching on the jagged edge of emotion. “It’s not your fault, Jake.”

Jacob could not forgive himself, even if Giordynne could, and it showed. He closed his eyes, looking absolutely miserable at that moment, and so defeated. His shoulders sagged and his breathing grew heavy, making him look like a man going to the gallows.

“It is my fault. All of it.”

“No, it- “

“Yes. Yes, it is, Giordynne. None of this would have happened if you’d never met me.”

Jacob was so certain in his conviction. Sure, Joseph had been the first of them to cross paths with her, but she had been a firm sceptic. It hadn’t been until Jacob had started getting close to her that she had started to become conflicted. It made him all the more certain when taking into account that Joseph had told Jacob to get close to her since they had things in common that would make it easier to talk her around and into joining Eden’s Gate. Jacob just hadn’t anticipated that he would actually start to get attached to her.

“And I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to leave. Fuck, I’d want to if I were you.”

“So why don’t you? Why not just leave Eden’s Gate if this is what Joseph does to people?” Giordynne asked, her eyes pleading with him.

“Because I can’t. Without Eden’s Gate, I’ve got nothing.”

“You’ve got me.”

“Yeah, but how long until I fuck that up too?” Jacob conceded, resting his chin on his hands.

“Everything I touch turns to shit in the end. I am not worth ruining your life for, Giordynne. I’m not even a good person. You are so fucking good; you would rather hurt yourself than anyone else. For that, you deserve someone who makes it all better, not worse.”

“I don’t want better, Jake. I want you.”

“No, you don’t. You don’t want the kind of person I am.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I’m fucking poison,” Jacob snapped exhaustedly, quickly reigning in the aggression in his tone. “My whole life, I’ve fucked up every good thing that I had. Like, if I hadn’t got sent to juvie for burning down our foster family’s house, I could have tried harder to keep me and my brothers together, and John wouldn’t have gotten adopted by a couple of fuckers who abused him even worse than our old man ever did.”

“Jake…”

“John got hurt because of me. Joseph was alone in the foster system and got fucked up because of me. And don’t get me started on all the shit I did in the military. I killed people, so it isn’t just your blood on my hands. I’ve hurt so many people that I don’t even know how many anymore ‘because I stopped counting. I even- “

He stopped dead, the words hanging on his tongue before he bit back what he was going to say, before dropping his tone to barely a whisper.

“Before you came along, I didn’t care who I hurt. Sometimes I even fucking enjoyed it. That’s how I know I’m a bad person. I made peace with that a long time ago and I was okay with it, but the day you walked into my life, I saw something in you that I _wished_ I had, and I don’t want to be the reason that gets taken away from you.”

Giordynne was quiet, taking in everything Jacob had just said. None of it made her want to leave him. If anything, seeing all his pain spilt out like this made her double down on wanting to stay.

“You won’t be.”

“Yes, I will. If you stay, it’ll get so much worse.”

“You can’t scare me away, Jake. If you can’t leave Eden’s Gate because Joseph is holding this shit over your head, then I’m not leaving either because I’m not fucking abandoning you to deal with it on your own.” Giordynne told him, taking Jacob’s head in her hands and looking him square in the eyes.

“You should because I can’t give you what you deserve,” he mumbled, heaving a defeated sigh.

“I’ll decide what I deserve.” She smiled softly, reminding him that she was fully capable of making her own decisions.

Jacob slid off the side of the bathtub and dropped to his knees, wrapping his arms around Giordynne’s hips and pressed his face against her torso in supplication, mindful not to exacerbate her wounds as he held onto her as though his life depended on it.

“I can’t make any promises,” he murmured against her skin as Giordynne ran her hands through his hair tenderly. “I can’t promise you that I can be a better man. I can’t promise that I won’t do shit that will make you hate me or be afraid of me. The only thing I can offer you is the promise that I will do everything in my power to protect you and keep you safe, but I can’t even make any guarantees that I can do that.”

“That’s good enough for me,” Giordynne reassured him soothingly, dropping down into Jacob’s arms and curling up against him. “And I promise I will do anything and everything necessary to stay with you, no matter what. I don’t care how many words anyone carves into my skin, or whatever else it takes. Nobody is taking me away from you, Jake. Not even Joseph.”


	18. Disorientation

Blue eyes twitched rapidly under closed eyelids; the most obvious physical sign of what dreams lay beyond the waking world. Everything was dark and still, but that only told him of the danger that lurked in the long, tall shadows that reached for him like claws under the yawning chasm of starlight, reminding him of just how insignificant he truly was in the grand scheme of things.

Nothing more than a tiny flicker in the vast expanse of time and the universe.

He’d been walking for days, feet blistered and bloody, down to the last few mouthfuls of water in his canteen, Jacob’s only company the outline of a silhouette in his peripheral vision that vanished like a ghost if he tried to look at it head-on. Still, he knew the phantasms identity just as surely as he knew his own, even if he could not see clearly.

This was not the first time he had been to this place, but it had been quite some time since the last. Long enough that Jacob had fooled himself in to thinking he might be finally free of it, but sure enough, there was the grating feeling of sand against his skin as it blew on the hot desert wind, making the sores on his arms itch and sting with every gust as it wore away at the last remaining tendrils of sanity that starvation hadn’t yet claimed.

Oh, he was ravenous, the hunger occupying his thoughts with every step he took. It manifested in the spectre of a wolf that trailed in his wake, jaws salivating and snapping at his heels, and yet also inside his head, tearing down all sense of reason and humanity as it begged for something to eat.

The stars faded to black, leaving nothing but Jacob, the shadow and the wolf. Jacob built a meagre fire for light to keep from being swallowed up by the void. The shadow lay down to sleep on the edge of the darkness, it’s shape barely visible against the black as the wolf took to circling the camp, pacing with agitation at still being denied a meal, talking to Jacob, taunting him menacingly between fits of howling that deafened like gunfire.

Jacob had fought the wolf’s insistence as best he could. He had been convinced that they would reach civilisation sooner or later and the wolf would depart, but no such place materialised. The wolf told him it would not wait any longer. He had bargained with it for far too long and now the time to make his choice was past due. Jacob had to choose. The wolf must eat, but who would be the sacrifice?

Suddenly, the shadow had tangible form, its shape bound in a camouflage print that shone like gold in the firelight.

“You know what you have to do,” the wolf growled from somewhere in the back of his head, Jacob looking down to find a knife in his hand.

He wanted to fight it. He even tried to pray for another option, but none came, the wolf now at his ear, jeering and provoking him then howling so loud that Jacob couldn’t see or hear anything other than red, lashing out to try to chase the beast away.

“Good,” the wolf praised as the knife found its mark, Jacob’s hands becoming slick with wet warmth.

The crimson mist dissipated, revealing the ragged hole in the neck of the sleeping form, gouts of blood issuing forth from the wound and soaking all around it. The wolf was not yet done, however. The kill had been made, but the feast was yet to begin, guiding Jacob’s hand as he raised the blade again and slit the carcass open, the wolf congratulating him deliriously as it tore strips of flesh away from the blooming edge of flesh and muscle and devoured them with hardly another thought.

When the wolf had had its fill, it sat back and eyed Jacob with approval, watching him eagerly as the soldier suddenly recognised the metallic taste that lingered in his mouth, his vision clearing and allowing him to see the devastation before him. His hands were bloody up to his elbows and his clothing was stained so heavily it glistened black in the light.

“What are you waiting for?” the wolf asked luridly, “You’ve started, so you might as well finish!”

His hunger no longer had the keenness of a knife-edge, but the deeper ache lingered, having had a taste and now demanding the whole banquet. Jacob was too exhausted to resist any longer. The wolf had him exactly where it wanted him, and it howled with jubilation as Jacob set to work taking what he needed to rid himself of the pain and madness that stalked him to that point.

Once he was satiated, he sat back on his heels, breathing ragged and heavy, blade still clutched in a bloody fist, gobbets of blood and flesh clinging to his chin.

Jacob looked down at the carcass again and recoiled violently.

Gone was the ghost of Miller that usually occupied this part of his nightmares. Instead, before him lay the butchered corpse of Giordynne, belly torn open and exposed, pale skin smeared with Jacob’s bloody handprints as her dark eyes stared up at him lifelessly.

It caused such a visceral reaction in him that he was forced awake in an instant, the vision lingering before his eyes for several seconds before it was replaced by the very much still alive version of Giordynne, pulled from her own sleep by the sound of Jacob screaming and finding him halfway across the floor, staring at her wildly in abject, inexplicable terror.

When the apparition finally let him go and the details of Giordynne’s room started to reveal themselves to him to remind him where he was, Jacob bent in on himself, knees pulled up to his chest, arms covering his head as he fell apart, body heaving silently with anguish. Giordynne hurriedly slid from the bed and across the floor, curling herself around him as best she could for someone with a much smaller frame, and burying her face against his shoulder as she held onto him for dear life.

Giordynne needed no explanation. This was a demon she knew intimately.

She held onto him for what seemed like an eternity, until the sky outside began to pale against the window blinds and the tension in Jacob’s body subsided, allowing him to move enough for Giordynne to see his face.

When his sight registered the dressings adorning her skin, the image from his night terror flashed in his mind again, threatening to pull him back in until Giordynne was easing his arms and legs away from his torso and weaving herself into the gap to soothe him with as much bodily contact as she was physically able without becoming part of him.

Giordynne would not ask what he had dreamed about. If it had been enough to have him shut down like this, making him recount it to her wouldn’t help unless he made the choice himself to vent it.

“War stuff?” was all she asked, fingertips tracing the contour of Jacob’s jawline as she searched his eyes gently.

The faintest of nods came in response, Jacob having trouble looking at her after seeing those beautiful brown eyes so cold and dead.

They had come to Giordynne’s place after John’s ranch, Jacob having refused to let her drive herself home and risk aggravating her wounds. After the shit Joseph had pulled, it was unlikely that he would expect Jacob to go straight back to his post that same night, but his point had been made, nonetheless. That wouldn’t stop Jacob from keeping his promise of taking care of her though, and if Joseph wanted to begrudge him that, then Jacob would take whatever punishment he could level at him, so long as Giordynne was left out of it.

The sun was coming up over the mountains by the time Jacob was able to bring himself to speak or look at Giordynne fully, his voice sounding fractured and hollow in a reflection of his pain as he apologised for scaring her, distractedly tracing the outline of the dressings on her stomach. Although the wounds still ached and had barely begun to scab over, Giordynne didn’t mind since Jacob’s touch was far too light and delicate to disturb them.

It did draw her attention to Jacob’s own collection of scars though, notably the lack of his own “sins”. Although she didn’t outright say it, Jacob must have sensed the question when Giordynne started to map his with her own fingers.

“Walking wrath incarnate,” Jacob stated quietly, wrapping his hand around hers and guiding it over each scar that marked his upper body, starting with the largest over his shoulder.

“White phosphorus exposure. Got trapped in an enemy building in Fallujah during a raid.” He continued, moving from there to the ones on his arms and face.

“Mustard gas.”

Giordynne moved her hand to another, more roundly uniform one above his hip.

“Gunshot?”

Jacob nodded, letting out a sigh.

“What about this one?” Giordynne inquired, running her fingertip over a linear one higher up by Jacob’s belly button.

“Bar fight. The other guy came off worse.”

Giordynne smiled softly before turning her attention to some that looked much older than any of Jacob’s battle scars.

“This one?”

“Burned with an iron for taking the Lord’s name in vain when I was twelve.”

The smile fell from Giordynne’s lips at that, but Jacob didn’t seem to mind her asking.

“These?” she continued, turning Jacob’s wrist upward to reveal a cluster of small, white, circular marks that looked like the remnants of cigarette burns.

“For talking back and being disrespectful.”

Giordynne moved to follow a trail of strangely shaped marks that littered the spaces between Jacob’s other scars, tracing each indentation like a dot to dot puzzle as she tracked them up over his chest and other shoulder, drawing a sharp breath as she discovered the lions share that pitted his back.

“Belt buckle. I don’t remember what for,” Jacob answered with a slight sniffle, his jaw setting tensely with the memory that was attached to this cluster.

Giordynne returned to face him, her eyes wet with emerging tears. Seeing her sadness, Jacob immediately leaned forward and cupped her face in his hand.

“It doesn’t hurt,” he soothed, brushing a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “Not anymore.”

His assurances weren’t enough to stop the swell of emotion in her at understanding just how much he had gone through and for how long, and she flung her arms around his neck, burying her face against his throat to hide a choked up sob. Jacob wrapped her up in his embrace and carded his fingers through her hair, feeling a little too raw himself.


	19. Observation

_Since Miss Fixman is still a recent initiate, normal circumstances would have me place her with John until such a time that she progresses. However, given that she has prior military experience, as well as medical training, I must take that into account as a skillset like that would be a valuable asset to the Project, so, with that practicality in mind, it may be much more prudent to place her in your charge instead, Jacob, but under one condition; you see to it that she does not become a source of distraction for you again._

Joseph choosing to allow Giordynne to be placed under Jacob’s command had come as a surprise to both of them after the cruel punishment he had meted out to the elder Seed sibling for his perceived transgressions. That was not to say that both weren’t keenly aware that this compromise likely meant that they would be under intense scrutiny from Joseph. On the contrary, the concession immediately raised suspicion in them both, though it went unspoken until they were far from the ears of the Father.

Jacob had a plan on how they could make it work to their advantage while staying in Joseph’s favour; Giordynne would enter into training at the Veteran’s centre just any other member of the Project who was sent to Jacob would. Her physical fitness, agility and weapons experience would be tested to ascertain what level she would start from, and her progress monitored over time. Meanwhile, if Giordynne happened to remain there outside of the hours of her training, it would draw far less attention than if she would have to sneak away from her duties either at the compound or at one of John’s outposts.

Initial observation had gone well. While several years had passed since Giordynne left the military and much of the strength and endurance she had built up during service had diminished largely to that which was expected of civilians, she was generally of good physical health and fitness, so she already had somewhat of a head start.

The first two weeks had involved daily hikes, some over difficult terrain, as well as time spent in the makeshift gym that had been set up in one of the wards of the hospital working on cardio and core strength. Giordynne’s prosthesis posed its own challenge in tailoring a training program specifically to her, though the adjustments were slight and centred around ensuring she could carry out all activities that were demanding on her legs in comfort.

Jacob was pleased to find that Giordynne seemed to have exceptional muscle memory during her first sparring session against one of his lieutenants, who, at first went a little easy on her just so that Jacob could observe her technique in an attempted takedown.

Giordynne had anticipated this and played along for a moment before Jacob gave the word for neither to hold anything back, the lieutenant following exactly what he had been taught to do to take down an enemy, despite this being a training session, and his overconfidence suddenly became his downfall as Giordynne dodges his lunge, knocking him off balance just enough to buy her a few feet in distance to pivot and gain enough momentum to grab the lieutenants clothing and vault herself upside down into a flying neck scissor takedown, wrapping her thighs around the lieutenant's neck and shoulders and twisting with the rest of her body, using her entire weight to bring him down and flip him onto his back, Giordynne then pinning him by sitting on his chest with her knees on his upper arms.

The manoeuvre had happened so fast that, for a moment, neither Jacob nor the lieutenant knew what was happening until Giordynne had the guy on his back, head tilted with a “You want to try that again?” look on her face.

Jacob called time on the session and Giordynne let the lieutenant up from the mat, rolling off to the side and pushing herself up onto her feet, dusting herself off as the lieutenant picked himself up, still looking a little stunned and out of breath as Jacob dismissed him.

“Where in the fuck did you learn a move like that?” Jacob asked with a chuckle once the lieutenant was out of earshot. It was not anything taught as standard by the military that he knew of, but he was aware that there were several disciplines of martial arts that did use aerial takedowns with such acrobatic technicality.

Giordynne grinned bashfully, her cheeks tinting pink as she stifled a giggle.

“Just something I learned as a kid,” she shrugged, playing coy. “Dad taught me some of the stuff from his training, said it would be good to know in case some snot-nosed asswipe tried picking on me at school.”

“I see,” Jacob mused, eyeing Giordynne with curiosity. “And what training did your dad have?”

Giordynne suddenly felt like she had maybe said a little too much, but they were alone, and this was Jacob she was talking to, and she trusted him implicitly.

“You know how I told you Mom walked out on Dad ‘because she got sick of him having to go away for months at a time for work? Well… Dad sort of worked Spec Ops.”

Jacob’s eyes widened, the smirk dropping from his face at the bombshell.

“Sort of? Does he still…?”

“Kinda?” Giordynne answered with an awkward smile on her face that matched the way she fidgeted. “I mean, he’s not like, actively doing that stuff anymore, but he still knows people and stuff.”

It wasn’t that Jacob felt threatened by this sudden revelation, but it certainly had him re-evaluating a few things regarding what might happen if Giordynne’s father found out about her joining Eden’s Gate, and more specifically, about Giordynne’s involvement with Jacob himself.

“That’s not a problem is it?” she faltered, her expression etching with worry.

“No,” Jacob replied, shaking his head firmly, “Why would it be a problem? It’s not like we’re doing anything wrong. Besides, Spec Ops has probably got much bigger problems to deal with in the world, like tracking down Osama Bin Laden and wiping out the Taliban.”

“I suppose,” she purred, relaxing again as Jacob wound his arms around her shoulders and nuzzled into the hollow beneath her ear. “So long as nobody’s doing anything wrong, why would they give a fuck about us?”

“Exactly,” Jacob growled contentedly, briefly entertaining the thought that, even if Giordynne’s dad was no longer active, he likely still had access to a selection of weaponry Jacob would prefer to remain away from the business end of for as long as humanly possible, before he considered the probability that it also meant Giordynne was likely familiar with much more than just the standard-issue firearms used by the US Army.

“Do you want to head up to the range and put some holes in stuff?” he asked, keeping his tone casual, despite his heightened curiosity over just exactly how much Giordynne had learned from her father over the years.

“Are you going to come with me?”

“Of course. Hell, if you hit enough targets to impress me, I might even let you have a go of one of _my_ guns.”

“Is that a challenge?” Giordynne laughed, letting Jacob lead her out of the room and down the corridor toward the main entrance of the Veterans centre.

Out at the firing range, Jacob gave spoke to a Chosen currently on duty overseeing the area, ordering him to dismiss the others training there and set up several of the stalls, each with a different firearm, for Giordynne, and while the Rangemaster went to retrieve the list of weapons requested, Jacob took out his personal sidearm, a custom M1911 pistol with a red slide, and held it out to her.

“Why don’t you show me how you handle that while we wait?” he suggested with a smirk before stepping back to watch as Giordynne first checked the magazine, chambered a round and then started firing, counting each shot until the magazine was empty. Jacob whistled in approval as he walked back over to her and took back the pistol and holstered it before he inspected the accuracy of her shots, finding that all but two had hit the paper target in critical spots.

“Not bad,” he praised with an appreciating nod, “You pull a little to the right, but we can correct that with practice.”

Giordynne blushed slightly in response to Jacob’s approval as they were interrupted by the return of the Rangemaster and a second Chosen with several weapons, including another couple of pistols, a compound bow, a shotgun and an AR-C semi-automatic rifle, setting a weapon in each stall. Once everything was in place, Giordynne approached each stall, repeating the protocol of checking her weapon before discharging, aside from the compound bow, as the tension was pre-set and all she had to do was draw, aim and fire.

As expected, the weapons with burst fire capability came with a little less accuracy in finding their targets, given that they had no additional scopes or modifications to improve their handling, but again, Giordynne made it clear she was far from a novice, even with the bow, which had a particular interest for Jacob since it was a signature weapon of the Chosen.

Gesturing for her to come to him, Jacob stared her down with a smirk, his arms folded across his chest, his posture carrying an air of the authority of a commanding officer.

“Good job. Now, I know you didn’t learn all of _that_ in the Army, so did Daddy Dearest teach you to shoot like that or are you just a natural at putting bullets in things?”

“Both?” Giordynne answered nonchalantly, even though it was probably a little more down to Casey taking her out on the back fields for target practice every year before hunting season started, from when she came home from Arizona to right before she shipped off to basic training.

Jacob was glad to see that having a gun in her hands didn’t seem to be a trigger for Giordynne’s PTSD, or, at least, not right then. That would be useful knowledge in the long run, as he would need to put her through a number of different scenarios to see what affected her and what didn’t so that he knew what parts to work on to desensitise her to those triggers. For now, though, what he had seen from her so far wasn’t just impressive in terms of her abilities, it would be more than enough to report back to Joseph about to keep him off their backs.


	20. Confrontation

It had taken several weeks of observation and ruling out what seemed to have little to no effect before Jacob had enough to work with to create a system of triggers, as well as choosing something appropriate to act as a stimulus for the conditioning to anchor itself to.

He had talked Giordynne through it every step of the way so that she knew what to expect and had time to prepare herself for it, and while the entire thing was purely experimental, vastly unorthodox and likely more than just a little unethical, Jacob had at least consulted someone in that field of medicine, albeit hypothetically, in the form of a retired university professor of psychology who was a part-time member of the Project at Eden’s Gate.

Warnings had been given, just in case Jacob’s questions weren’t quite as hypothetical as he would have them believe, but it was agreed that such an experiment would be of great interest _if_ it weren’t considered to be well outside of ethical boundaries.

That was as much of a green light as Jacob needed to proceed, having been poring over dozens of books and medical journals to glean as much information as he could on techniques, risk factors and projected results over varying timeframes whenever he wasn’t observing or spending time with Giordynne, and he was confident that he could condition her to not only face and overcome her fears and past trauma but ultimately convert it into a source she could draw from to strengthen her and give her back a sense of power over the things she had been through.

Jacob had cleared space in his office, shoving his desk as far to one end as physically possible and moved everything away from the opposite wall to leave large enough an empty space to jury-rig a projection screen out of an old dustsheet.

In the centre of the room stood an old-style restraint chair that was a leftover relic from the days when the Veterans centre was still very much a functional hospital. It was constructed from dark brown wood and had wheels on the back legs for manoeuvrability, with straps positioned to hold whoever was put into it at the wrists, ankles, head and around the torso, more or less guaranteeing complete immobility once they were buckled in.

Around the perimeter of the room, at the four corner points, as well as directly behind and on either side of the chair, Jacob had positioned amplifier speakers, running them to a portable mixing deck that had been connected to his laptop, along with a slide projector that was loaded with the images that would accompany the sound.

Jacob had instructed all Project members and Chosen to stay away from the top floor of the Veterans centre for the rest of the day so that the experiment could be conducted without interruption, and when everything was in place, he called Giordynne up to the room to begin.

“If you want to back out of this, you should say so now,” Jacob informed her as he began buckling the restraints. “Once it starts, there isn’t any going back. Do you understand? I need you to know that this is probably going to make things worse before it gets better. Are you sure you’re prepared for that?”

“Jake, we’ve been through this. I know what you are going to do, and I trust you. I know it’s going to be hard, but what’s the alternative? Feeling like this for the rest of my life, or taking control over it? I know what I want.”

Giordynne was adamant about it, even if her choice of wording almost echoed some of the things, he had said to her about it in the first place.

Jacob nodded resolutely and gave Giordynne a lingering kiss before buckling the strap that would hold her head in place.

“I will be here the entire time, alright. Just remember that, if things get too intense, I am here and I will bring you through it, okay?”

“Mhmm,” Giordynne acknowledged, teeth worrying her lip a little in apprehension.

With that, Jacob stepped back and turned out the lights, moving behind the desk to start up both the slide projector and the soundtrack, turning the volume up as far as it would go without causing too much distortion or blowing the speakers.

The light from the projector flooded the wall in front of Giordynne in bright white before the first image clicked into the viewfinder as a burst of gunfire cut through the air, loud enough to sound as though someone was firing an LMG right inside the room with them. The screen filled with a scene of battle, soldiers in uniform, in the middle of a conflict. While Giordynne tensed slightly, it was not enough to draw the visceral reaction Jacob was looking to pull from her.

A click and another slide, the single stream of gunfire joined by at least half a dozen other weapons being fired, making the noise almost deafening.

Each slide progressed to the next, the first few relatively tame in their content. Then the gunfire was drowned by the unmistakable crack of explosive ordinance going off, the screen flashing red with the sight of blood and carnage, bodies and parts strewn about, flesh torn from flesh by the force of the blast. Some pieces were barely recognizable beyond the distinctive look of shredded and scorched meat. Others were undeniably human, and some still lived despite the open wounds and mangled ends where arms and legs used to be.

Giordynne squirmed visibly in her seat when confronted with the sound and image, fingers flexing as wrists pulled at restraints in obvious discomfort.

Another flash, another deafening boom, and another scene of butchery and slaughter.

A soldier stared up at the camera, bloody hand outstretched and blurred in the foreground as the focus of the shot was the ugly maw on the left side of his lower torso, inches wide and deep enough to see the obliteration of his internal organs spilling out from inside.

Giordynne gagged and whined, restraints rattling as she tugged hard on them futilely. This was the reaction Jacob sought, and as much as he wanted to shut the whole thing down, free Giordynne from the restraints and comfort her, they had to see it through to the end, or at least until it was abundantly clear that Giordynne would come to physical harm if they pressed on.

As the slides clicked on, the air filled with screams, human at first, then brought to a cacophony by the harrowing noise of live rabbits being torn apart by wolves, driving Giordynne’s panic through the roof. She bucked and fought against the straps, the leather digging itself into her skin enough to bruise, her own screams mingling with the horrifying audio being played through the speakers.

Jacob moved from behind the desk, leaving everything to run on auto as he stood off to the side, just far forward enough to see Giordynne’s face in shadow against the beam of the projector.

“You have to open your eyes, Giordynne,” he instructed loudly over the noise as she tried to find some relief by not looking at the horror show before her. “It won’t get better until you do!”

By now, the assault on her senses had set off a vivid flashback that she could not separate from what was going on outside her body, the room around her having vanish several slides ago. Jacob’s voice reached through and found her though, and she forced herself to look, as much as it pained her to do so, both mentally and physically from her struggling in the chair.

“Good, Giordynne,” he praised carefully at the sign that she was listening. “You can get through this. I’m right here with you. Keep your eyes open and keep fighting.”

He continued to verbally coach her through the remaining slides, carefully monitoring her for excessive physical injury or a sign she might vomit until the last picture of violence and dismemberment vanished from the screen to bright white once more, Jacob quickly moving to shut down the audio before he hastily unfastened Giordynne’s restraints.

The moment her body was released from its bonds, she slumped forward, face streaked with snot, saliva and tears, eyes wide and staring unseeingly, gulping air like she was drowning. Jacob caught her as she toppled out of the chair, pulling Giordynne against him and giving her a cursory once over to check for injury as he soothed her.

“Shh, it’s alright. It’s over now,” he whispered tenderly, cradling her heaving body tightly in one arm and stroking through her hair with his other hand. “You did so well, sweetheart. It’s okay, I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

Jacob himself was shaking. The sensory onslaught hadn’t just had an effect on Giordynne, but he had to hold it together to take care of her or there was a chance that it would have the opposite effect than desired, and the last thing Jacob wanted to do was take her way beyond a point that she couldn’t come back from.

It was already late night by the time the experiment was over, and Jacob was already more than prepared not to get any sleep tonight to watch over her. He had no doubt that if Giordynne did manage to pass out from exhaustion, she would not stay that way, and he needed to be there when she inevitably woke screaming and disoriented. His worry came more so at the thought of when she left here to return home. Joseph likely wouldn’t allow him to take time away from his duties just to watch over Giordynne, especially as none of this had been discussed with or cleared by the Father, and keeping her from going home would only raise further suspicion from the residents of Falls End.


	21. Distraction

A handful of weeks had passed since the first experiment had been carried out. Giordynne had been a fragile wreck for days after, barely sleeping, and when she did, it was only a matter of time before she woke again, screaming, in a cold sweat. Jacob had done his best to make sure she wasn’t left alone for any extended periods of time, even if it meant sneaking into Falls End in the dead of night, every night for over three weeks, just to be there to calm her when the terrors came.

Seeing her laid low in a depressive state because of it had had him second-guessing whether to continue with trying to condition her triggers out of her, despite her assuring him repeatedly that she was okay and wanted to try again at some point.

It could wait a little while though since Jacob would not dare to put her through it again until she was more emotionally stable. For now, he would focus on doing whatever he could to help speed her recovery and lift her spirits, or at least distract her from the depths of her own mind for a while to give her some respite.

Giordynne had been doing her best to keep up appearances back home. Her friends and family were all aware that she frequently suffered from low mood, so none of them were overly suspicious by her latest episode, and as she seemed well enough to open her shop and keep working, there didn’t appear to be anything to be particularly worried about, other than that she had more clients coming in from Eden’s Gate these days.

The last of the winters snow had thawed in the warming March air as spring started to move in, and on a Saturday afternoon, Jacob left the St Francis Veterans Centre in the helicopter he kept for his own private use, the paintwork red and black instead of bearing the Project’s markings, and flew over to Holland Valley. He had called ahead to check if Giordynne had any clients booked for the afternoon before he came to pick her up, glad to hear that the only appointment had been in the morning and had finished up just after lunchtime, so she was free for the rest of the day if she didn’t get any walk-ins.

Jacob did not tell her what he had planned. All he requested was that she close up early so that he could take her out, and she had been waiting outside when she saw the helicopter coming in, touching down across the field that ran the span of Falls End behind the houses opposite hers.

Giordynne crossed the street and cut through the yard down the side of the general store, hopped the back fence and carefully traversed the storm drain before climbing up the bank and walking out onto the field to meet him, not really caring if anyone saw. She was far too exhausted lately to care what people thought of her anymore. If they saw her with Jacob, so be it. They could kiss her ass for all she cared.

“So, where are we heading?” she inquired curiously after an affectionate greeting, all the more piqued at the fact they were standing out there in broad daylight for a change.

“You’ll spoil the surprise if I tell you before we get there,” Jacob teased, swaying her in his arms for a moment before directing her toward the passenger seat.

They were only in the air for a few minutes before Giordynne realised they were headed in the direction of John’s ranch, her stomach clenching reflexively in remembrance of the last time she had been there. Her anxiety was quickly vanquished though when Jacob steered the helicopter to the right, circling the Bradbury’s farm as it descended and landed at the far end near the pig shed.

Giordynne gave Jacob a puzzled “What are we doing here?” kind of look as the skids made contact with the ground.

“You ever learn to fly when you were in the Army?” Jacob asked casually, letting the rotors come to a complete stop.

“No, why?” came Giordynne’s reply, a cautious excitement creeping into her.

“Do you want to?”

For the first time in what felt like days, a broad grin found its way onto Giordynne’s face, her eyes lighting up at the question. Her response was all the answer Jacob needed before he got out of the helicopter and made a gesture for them to switch seats so that Giordynne would be on the right-hand side to make it easier for her to operate the controls.

After they had swapped sides, Jacob talked her through a brief explanation of the various dials and switches on the dash, and a basic run down of what the collective, the cyclic and the foot pedals were for and how they affected the helicopters flight before getting Giordynne to start the engine and open up the throttle, talking her gently through pulling up slowly on the collective to raise the swash plate to allow the rotor blades to have the exact same pitch simultaneously while depressing the left foot pedal to counteract the torque.

“Okay, good. Now, keep your foot on the pedal and continue to pull up the collective until the chopper feels light on the skids,” Jacob instructed firmly, monitoring every move Giordynne made. “Can you feel the change in sensitivity in the cyclic?”

“Mhmm,” Giordynne hummed, nodding, her focus squarely on what she was doing, nervous to make any mistakes that might result in them crashing.

The helicopter nudged forward a few feet as Giordynne gripped the cyclic while trying to maintain control over the collective and the foot pedal. The movement was almost panic-inducing, but Jacob was there to reassure her that she was doing exactly the right thing as he got her to ease back slightly and stabilise the aircraft, hovering around five or six feet from the ground for a few seconds.

“Okay, now push forward on the cyclic ever so slightly, but increase the throttle a little more to compensate for the nose dip.”

Giordynne followed the instruction and the helicopter edged forward over the ground, the excitement building just a little too rapidly for her to confidently go more than around twenty feet before she pulled back again, the helicopter rocking back and forth as she overcompensated.

“Easy,” Jacob soothed, leaning over and placing his hands over hers on the controls so that she didn’t let go completely in a panic. “You’re doing fine, okay? Pretty much everyone does that on their first try.”

His patience in teacher her was a great comfort to Giordynne, allowing her to breathe and refocus before she tried the manoeuvre again, this time going even further before she pulled back, carefully this time so that the helicopter slowed and straightened out without a fight.

After almost an hour of practicing lifting off, hovering and landing again, Jacob decided she was ready to try something more complicated. Keeping his hands on hers, he got Giordynne to take them up higher off the ground so that they were well clear of the trees, the silo and the powerlines, then let go and told her to fly in whichever direction took her fancy. Of course, this made Giordynne nervous all over again, but Jacob continued to coach her.

Giordynne brought the helicopter in a slow circle above the farm and made three complete circuits of it, gaining airspeed as Jacob talked her through the sudden shudder of the rotor as the helicopter moved through rotor wash into clean air.

Once she was comfortably going over twenty knots, he told her to take them somewhere other than the Bradbury farm. Giordynne chewed her lip as she took a moment to consider where might be safest for her to fly, thinking of only flying them back to the fields that surrounded Falls End, but as they approached, Jacob told her to keep going for as long as her nerves could bear it.

Before she really knew it, Giordynne had gone past Falls End and was heading North East, her confidence blooming as she got used to instinctually anticipating and balancing all the controls simultaneously. They flew over Rae-Rae’s and the packing plant and on toward Joseph’s compound before taking a counter clockwise loop over Silver Lake, past the deer statue at the entrance to the Whitetail Mountain park and back South again as the sky started to shift to shades of orange and pink, bathing the whole valley in a golden glow that looked all the more breath-taking from high up.

By the time they were back at Falls End, Giordynne was feeling an abrupt pang of disappointment that her flying lesson was over. They had been in the air for a few hours, but it hardly felt that long with the exhilaration she felt and being back on the ground suddenly felt almost unnatural to her.

Jacob saw through her immediately when they got out, Giordynne standing with her arms wrapped around herself, casting her gaze hesitantly toward the town as the breeze whipped up her hair in the purple shadows of twilight. Walking up behind her, Jacob wound his arms around Giordynne and nuzzled into her hair, pressing a kiss to her scalp, then sighing as he too looked toward Falls End. Even if he left now, he would be back to spend another night in Giordynne’s bed, but he didn’t want to leave, even for a few hours until the lights had gone out in all the houses.

“I wish we didn’t have to hide,” Giordynne murmured quietly, leaning into Jacob’s touch as they stood there.

“I know. Me either.”

Jacob let himself wonder for a minute just how bad would it actually be if the residents of Falls End saw that they were together, especially Giordynne’s dad. He had no doubt that they would view him with suspicion, but if he was there peacefully and entirely for Giordynne’s benefit, could they put that aside for the night to just let the two of them enjoy themselves without the need for clandestine meetings in the dark?


	22. Collaboration

_The Father is coming here._

There was a quiet but unusual clamour among the Chosen and other Project members at the St Francis Veterans centre when word got around. It was not all that often the Father himself made visits to the Whitetail compound unless it was for something particularly important, as meetings were almost always held either at Joseph’s chapel or John’s ranch.

Jacob was unfazed. He already knew the purpose of the visit, as it had been him who had called for it. Joseph was coming to see the progression he had made so far with the wolves he had been trapping and keeping in captivity, and while Joseph had been unsure as to the need for such an endeavour initially, he had come around to the idea after Jacob produced some promising results very early on in his research. Now had come a time, however, when discussion needed to be held over the next steps.

The Father arrived late in the afternoon by car, accompanied by John and one of the higher-ranking Project members, who was apparently a scientist, as far as Giordynne could glean from snippets of overheard conversation. She had been upon the balcony outside Jacob’s office when the cavalcade rolled in through the front gates, two Eden’s Gate pickup trucks bringing up both the front and the rear with the Father’s vehicle between. Giordynne rolled her eyes a little when she noted a handful of men down in the courtyard practically bowing and scraping when Joseph stepped out of the sleek black car he, John and the third man had ridden in.

Jacob had gone down to greet them in the yard so that an immediate inspection of the wolves could be done before the actual meeting portion of the visit commenced. Giordynne continued to watch from the balcony, out of earshot from any conversation being had, but from the body language of the group, things seemed to be going well so far.

Moments later, they made their way into the building and up to Jacob’s office, Giordynne hearing relaxed chatter in the hallway outside the door as Jacob and the others approached.

The Father seemed slightly surprised to see her standing out on the balcony when he opened the door to the office, but he offered a smile and a nod and greeted her by name as the other three men stepped into the room behind him.

“Ah, Giordynne, it’s a pleasure to see you. I trust you are well?” Joseph inquired, disguising a flicker of questioning as to why she happened to be in Jacob’s office.

“I am, Father. Thank you,” she replied, her own smile a mask of pleasantry. “And how are you, Father?”

“I am very well, thank you, child. Now, if you could please excuse us?”

Joseph gestured toward the door with a slight wave of his hand, only for Jacob to cut in.

“Miss Fixman can stay. She has been assisting me with taking the caretaking of the wolves, so we won’t be discussing anything she doesn’t need to hear.”

“Very well then. Let us get down to business.” John interjected, hoping to avoid another ugly and unnecessary conflict between his older siblings.

While Joseph might have been a little put out by Jacob’s insistence, it was not a lie by any stretch. Giordynne had indeed spent a considerable amount of time around the cages, enough so that she was able to go into most of the cages to feed the ones who had been confined longest without any displays of aggression from them.

With Joseph distracted as Jacob picked up a manilla folder that had scrawled on it with marker pen the word “Judges” in large red capital letters, fat with paperwork, from his desk and flipped it open, pulling out several of the documents inside and spreading them out, John exchanged a brief smirk with Giordynne, who stood out of the way by the door to the balcony, leaning against the wall with her arms folded. As uncomfortable as John had made in the earlier days of their meeting, things had noticeably settled between them after the incident at the ranch, John understanding that boundaries had now been drawn with his awareness of hers and Jacob’s involvement.

As the meeting progressed, Giordynne turned her attention to the man who had come to the Veterans centre with Joseph and John. She hadn’t noticed it before, but now that she had time to get a good, long look at the man, he looked familiar to her enough that a shiver of uneasiness crept up her spine, though she couldn’t for the life of her place why.

The discussion turned to how to enhance certain characteristics in the wolves; chiefly their size, strength, muscle mass and aggression, while retaining the ability to be trained, so that they could be utilised in a multitude of tasks, from simply guarding outposts and compounds to assisting the Projects hunters in bringing in enough meat to feed their ever-growing ranks. It was posited that perhaps steroid injections could be used as a means to quickly increase the more physical aspects, though that came with a list of potentially undesirable side-effects that would defeat the purpose of the whole trial.

“In terms of aggression, it may be possible to achieve the desired effect by chemically stimulating the amygdala. Depending on what stimulant is used, it would also ensure enough of higher susceptibility to the techniques used to train them.” The scientist stated, looking over the paperwork on Jacob’s desk.

“Dr Feeney, would the research you’ve been conducting on the moonflowers provide a potential solution to this, or would you recommend something else?” Joseph inquired with interest.

“I’d say that it may be worth looking into, at least in the interim, as the compounds I have isolated would certainly provide such stimulation by way of their hallucinogenic properties. How the animals will respond to it, however, I could not predict with certainty unless a trial was carried out. It may bring out the traits you desire, or it may have no desirable effect at all.”

It took only the word “Feeney” for everything to suddenly drop into place for Giordynne, though she was careful to cover her reaction over realising the man was none other than the father of her ex-boyfriend, Aaron.

“So, you’re saying that you need to drug the wolves?” she interrupted, cautiously keeping her eye on everyone in the room.

“In a manner of speaking, yes.”

Giordynne nodded slowly, pausing before she spoke again.

“You mention hallucinogens. Why not use a more direct stimulant to trigger a response? Wouldn’t there be a risk with hallucinogens that the wolves would be unable to differentiate between a target or their handlers? At least while it is in their system?”

“That’s a very good question,” Feeney answered, intrigued. “It would certainly be possible to also test something of that nature. In fact, I may be able to synthesis something from my existing formula that would have less of a hallucinogenic effect while maintaining stimulation to the limbic system and hypothalamus.”

“Would you be able to synthesis something that boosts the wolves speed and strength, at least temporarily?”

Giordynne was treading thin ice. Before she and Aaron broke up, she knew he was working on creating something very similar, though he hadn’t nailed down the formula for it at the time, and if Peter Feeney had had any recent contact with his son, Giordynne asking about it would surely ring alarm bells.

Feeney paused, a flicker of confusion crossing his expression before he too realised, they had a connection.

“Ah, Miss- Fixman, was it?” he began, trying to be tactful. “You wouldn’t happen to know my son, Aaron, by any chance, would you?”

“I do.”

The atmosphere in the office suddenly felt awkward between them, while the Seed siblings exchanged looks of varying puzzlement, though Jacob was quickest to piece everything together, turning his gaze toward Giordynne to assess the situation.

Feeney shuffled papers anxiously, clearing his throat.

“Then would I be correct in assuming that you have at least second-hand knowledge of my work,” he inquired, not sure if this exchange was about to turn hostile.

“I am familiar with it, yes,” Giordynne returned calmly, keeping her tone polite. “Familiar enough to have at least a basic working knowledge of the effects of quite the number of substances and pharmaceuticals, thanks to your son.”

“How is Aaron? I’m afraid he cut contact with me some time ago.”

Giordynne’s façade crumbled slightly at the question, taking that as a sign that Peter had no idea what had occurred between her and Aaron beyond them having been in a relationship.

“Sorry, I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to him in a while.”

Jacob shifted from one foot to the other, looking like he was on the verge of shutting down the meeting there and then, but that would only tell Joseph that something was still going on between them if him insisting she stay hadn’t already.

“Well then,” Joseph interrupted suddenly, breaking the tension. “Perhaps Giordynne could help with your research, Doctor, seeing as she has some relevant experience.”

“Indeed,” chimed in John, resting his palms on the edge of Jacob’s desk. “It would seem Miss Fixman here is just full of surprises. She’s making herself quite the asset to the Project, it seems.”

Satisfied with this turn of events, Joseph concurred with John’s evaluation. The day he had met Giordynne, he had sensed potential in her that was going to waste in her existing living situation. That had been why he had pushed so hard to have her brought into the fold. In her life before, Giordynne had been another broken soul, barely hanging by a thread and haunted by the spectre of addiction. Now, it was evident that she was flourishing within Eden’s Gate, albeit rather unconventionally, but then again, she had been unconventional from the start.

“I think that settles it then. I admit I had reservations about Giordynne’s placement here, but she has removed all doubt by rising to every challenge that has been placed before her,” Joseph praised with a broad smile that was almost disarming. “It is clear to me now that she is exactly where she belongs.”

“Thank you, Father,” Giordynne answered, plastering a pleasant grin across her face. “Your wisdom is sound, as always.”

Jacob shot her a look behind Joseph’s back that warned her not to layer it on so thick, but she couldn’t help herself, especially given that it had caused John to cough into his hand audibly to stifle a laugh, which had Jacob giving them both a stormy look.

Whether Joseph picked up on it was anyone’s guess. He hadn’t given a single glimmer of indication that he had, but that meant nothing at that moment. However, he did seem keen to return the conversation back to the project and discuss some of the finer points of what Jacob hoped to achieve, as well as projected timeframes and testing schedules. Giordynne had little else to say, allowing the meeting to continue, with both John and Joseph interjecting with questions and suggestions of their own, including a query from John regarding whether selective breeding could also be utilised alongside the drug testing so that any of the wolves that most strongly carried the desired traits and temperament could be bred from so that those traits became hardwired into the DNA of their lineage.

By the end of the meeting, it had been determined that Feeney would visit the Veterans centre at least once a week to monitor progress and make adjustments to formula and dosage. Meanwhile, Giordynne would be on hand to assist during those visits. The Father also requested that she and Feeney exchange phone numbers so that if anything came up between then, one could contact the other, or they could work through any issues or obstacles without having to go through several people to resolve them.


	23. Seclusion

April’s sun shone warmly above the canopy of the trees, scattering light down through the leaves, the mottled shade shifting in the spring breeze and making the shadows dance all around them as they pushed forward through the undergrowth.

Jacob had taken the fair weather as an opportunity to take Giordynne out hunting, partly to see how she handled taking out small moving targets in an environment full of potential distractions rather than the stationary ones on the range at the Veteran’s centre, but also to enjoy some time alone with her, away from prying eyes and without having to sneak around in the dark or steal fleeting moments when heads were turned.

It was still too early in the year for most game to come into season, but the warmer weather brought rabbits venturing out of their burrows, and wild turkeys were plentiful, even now, especially around the trail that ran from the lake by the Veteran’s centre up into the mountains behind it.

By late afternoon, Giordynne had proven her capabilities with a shotgun and bagged three rabbits that had been flushed out of the underbrush and into her sights.

They now swung from Jacob’s belt as he walked, and though he had bled and gutted them well enough, they still dripped occasionally, leaving a trail behind them. Jacob only realised when he heard a small, distinctive growl and saw something move in the bushes when he turned around.

“Wolverine!” he yelled, putting himself between the rapidly approaching animal and taking out his sidearm, firing into the scrub a couple of times trying to hit it or scare it away, but between its speed and the vegetation obscuring any chance of a clear shot, he missed every single time. When the wolverine finally broke cover, the distance was far too close to get off another shot without the risk of shooting himself in the process, so, with only a split second to react before the animal attacked, he did the next thing that came to him by instinct.

“Shit- “

A swing of a boot and Jacob had kicked the wolverine, catching it just as it leapt at him. The animal was sent arcing several feet through the air with a yelp that gave no clear indication of whether it was from injury or out of sheer surprise, landing in a bush with a dull thud. Jacob kept his eyes on the spot for a long moment, half expecting the little bastard to come at him again, but the woods were silent again.

“Did you just fucking punt a wolverine?” Giordynne asked incredulously, eyes wide and a little gobsmacked at what she had just witnessed.

“It was going to attack me!”

“Yeah, I know, but…”

The scene itself and the speed at which it had happened wasn’t nearly enough for her to wrap her brain around at that moment, so she blinked, shook her head and said, “Never mind.” Before carrying on.

Further up the mountain, Jacob diverted Giordynne down a dirt track that led away from the main trail. At the end of it lay a modest log cabin with a small yard around it, and a driveway just beyond that sloped back down the mountain toward the highway. Giordynne gave Jacob a quizzical smile, to which he gave a slightly smug smirk back, looking quite pleased with himself that he had managed to keep it a surprise.

“What is this place?” Giordynne asked as Jacob pulled out a key and opened the front door, letting her inside ahead of him.

“Just a little something I had John purchase a while ago,” came the answer with a casual shrug.

In truth, Jacob had had the cabin since not long after the Project had acquired the Veteran’s centre, Jacob using the place as his own private little bolthole away from everything. He had gotten John to work his magic to get the deed to the place, citing the need for better quarters than the crumbling walls of the Veteran’s centre could provide. John had been more than happy to oblige since he himself had just moved into the sprawling ranch with a private hangar and airstrip he now called home. It had been kept off the official paperwork of Eden’s Gate, however, as Jacob thought that if Joseph knew about the place, he’d have a contingent of followers pestering his older brother any time he dipped out for some alone time.

The cabin was largely what anyone would expect; inside consisted of one large room for the living and sleeping area, with a small bathroom to the rear, the walls were bare wood with most of the furniture to match. The whole interior had a very warm, cosy, homely feel to it that was a stark contrast to the militaristic, utilitarian décor of the Veterans centre, and for a moment, it gave Giordynne a glimpse of what Jacob would look like if he was just another civilian, hunting and living out in the woods.

What really excited her though was when she spotted something propped up against the wall in the corner by a rather beaten up old leather recliner that was going a bit bald around the seams but had clearly been loved.

“I didn’t know you played,” she trilled, a broad grin etching across her features as she approached the acoustic guitar, pausing before she picked it up.

“May I?”

Jacob nodded and gestured for her to go ahead, catching himself sighing at little moments like this, when Giordynne was so enthusiastic about something that her smile lit up the room, and falling all the harder for her because of it.

Giordynne strummed a little, adjusting the tuning, then broke into the opening bars of Hotel California, picking at the strings delicately to make the notes ring out in the slightly dusty air. She hadn’t played in a good while, so her fingers were a little stiff on the fretboard, but it brought an expression of absolute bliss to her face as she used her nails on her picking hand to tap out the beat along with the notes.

Jacob was just getting into it when she stopped as abruptly as she had started, and it almost made him ask her to play some more until he noticed that familiar look of self-consciousness creep into her.

“You know, if you ever need somewhere to go to get away from everything for a while that isn’t my office, you’re welcome to come up here any time you like,” he offered instead, realising he still had the days kill hanging from his belt, and they would need preparing soon if they were going to eat anything tonight.

“Really?” Giordynne squeaked happily, quickly biting back her excitement. “I mean, yeah, I’d like that.”

“You’re cute, you know that?”

Jacob had never called her cute before, and to hear him even utter the word once in her direction had Giordynne blushing to the tips of her ears and biting her top lip as she fidgeted, a sign she wasn’t entirely used to compliments of that nature and didn’t quite know how to respond to them, especially when she tried to change the subject.

“Hey, um, I feel kinda gross and sweaty from being outside all day. Any chance I could, like, freshen up and stuff?”

“Bathroom’s through there,” Jacob answered with a chuckle, pointing to the door at the other end of the room. “If you need a towel, there are some clean ones in the closet.”

“Thanks.”

With that, Giordynne disappeared into the back, the sound of the shower being switched on following seconds later, along with the boiler kicking on to heat the water.

Jacob turned his attention to skinning the rabbits and washing off any last remnants of gore before he put them in the refrigerator for later. After getting himself cleaned up as best he could just by using the kitchen sink, he strode over to the recliner, sat down, stretched out and got comfortable as he picked up the guitar for himself and started to play a few notes from Stairway To Heaven to warm his fingers up a little, then switching to the melodic strains of Jeff Buckley’s version of Hallelujah.

As Giordynne washed her hair, she heard the dulcet tones of the guitar drifting through the bathroom door, bringing a soft smile to her lips as she listened to Jacob play, and as she finished up and stepped out of the shower, she heard him singing.

Not wanting him to stop, Giordynne quietly and slowly opened the bathroom door and stood watching as Jacob, caught up entirely in the music, continued to play and sing with a passion that seemed so far removed from the gruff and hard persona he showed to the rest of the world. He had finished the song by the time he looked up and saw Giordynne in the doorway, wrapped in a towel, her hair a wild, wet cascade of waves down her back, with the softest, sweetest look in her eyes.

Setting down the guitar, Jacob got up and walked slowly over to her.

“You heard that, huh?” he asked smoothly, though the pink tinge across his cheek and nose hinted at a bashfulness over his musical talent.

“Mhmm,” Giordynne smiled, gazing up at him with a loving sparkle in her eyes. “Where’d a guy like you learn how to play like that?”

Jacob scratched at the back of his neck as he shrugged.

“Juvie. Wasn’t a whole lot else to do in there except read, teach myself to play, or get into more trouble.”

“Mm, good thing I like trouble then, ain’t it?” Giordynne teased sweetly, going up on the balls of her feet as Jacob pulled her in for a deep, passionate kiss that had her melting against him.


	24. Devotion

Embers drifted up from the fire into the deep blue Montana night sky, a soft orange haze cast in a ring around the yard out front of the cabin that made Jacob’s shadow sway and surge with the flames behind him as he tended to the meat roasting slowly on the spit over the fire, humming to himself along with the melody that drifted out of the open front door.

Giordynne had discovered the old-school hi-fi stacking system Jacob had installed inside, as well as his respectably sized music collection, or at least the portion of it that was made up of cd’s he’d accumulated over the last few years now that he had a permanent roof over his head, and now she had the volume cranked up unashamedly loud, Steve Tyler’s unmistakable croons and howls ringing out over the cinematic grandiosity of a Joe Perry guitar solo after Giordynne found several Aerosmith albums in the collection.

There was a small pause after Love in An Elevator ended that had Jacob turn, having expected the next track to play. The music resumed a moment later, Giordynne having skipped a few tracks to one she really wanted to listen to. As the soaring guitar intro for Angel filled the air, she appeared in the doorway, resplendent in one of Jacob’s t-shirts and not much else, her hair still loose and untamed, a mischievous smirk on her lips before she started miming along to the lyrics and dancing, clutching onto the doorframe dramatically as she swung her hair and her hips, putting on a show.

Jacob stood up from the fire, laughing and shaking his head slightly, but very much enamoured with seeing this side of her; the silly, carefree version of Giordynne that turned into an adorable goofball when she was comfortable enough to shed her inhibitions.

Giordynne was still lip-syncing and twirling around one of the posts of the porch as Jacob walked up to her, unable to contain the grin that had carved itself into his face, or the sudden urge to kiss her, if only to cover up for the fact that she had completely disarmed him and caught him by surprise with her little display. Not that he minded so much with them being so far out of the way of anyone who might see, but Jacob was still getting used to letting his guard down and allowing himself to relax and enjoy moments like this.

***

The roasted rabbits had been eaten and the campfire put out, the sound of crickets and the crackle of logs in the grate of cabin’s fireplace undercutting the music that had been turned down to a background noise level. Giordynne was stretched out on the rug in front of the fire, a soft smile curling her lip as she watched Jacob wash up their dishes.

“You sure there’s nothing I can be doing to help?” she asked, sighing contentedly.

“No, I’m good,” came the reply, one soapy hand raising in a vague wave as the other picked up a plate from the water and stood it up in the rack next to the sink. “You just relax, and I’ll be done in a minute.”

The music died suddenly as the last song ended, drawing looks from both.

“Can I at least put something else on?”

“Knock yourself out. Hey, if you want something a little different on, take a look in that cabinet over there.” Jacob smiled and nodded, gesturing to the bottom third of the shelving unit that held his cd collection.

Giordynne pulled open the double doors at its base, finding two plastic crates inside, filled with vinyl records.

“Oh, a connoisseur, I see,” she remarked with an approving glance, hefting one of the crates onto the table, followed by the other, suddenly appreciating why Jacob had kept such a relic of a music system around.

In one of the crates, the selection was an eclectic mix of albums from various subgenres of rock that ranged from the late sixties to the early nineties, interspersed with a handful of movie soundtracks from the latter two decades. The soundtracks were a little out of left field compared to the rest of Jacob’s collection, but admittedly, they were from some iconic movies that even Giordynne held a place in her heart for.

Flipping through them with her fingertips, she stopped suddenly, a giggle escaping her as she tugged one of the sleeves from the bunch.

“Top Gun?” she inquired with a surprised smirk, waggling the record side to side slightly.

“Yeah. Is there a problem with that?”

“Not at all. Just wasn’t expecting to see it in here is all.” Giordynne smiled, seeing a little flicker of defensiveness in Jacob that suggested he had more than just a passing like for that film in particular.

Sure, Top Gun was a little cheesy compared to everything else in Jake’s collection, but in a weird way, it kind of made perfect sense to Giordynne, so she made a mental note to remember that little piece of information.

Slipping the LP back into the crate, she turned her attention to the other one and began flipping through. The second crate was even more interesting to Giordynne since it was filled with a much more mellow selection than the first, packed with old soul, rhythm and blues, and Motown. Again, the selection reflected a taste for the real classics of the given genres, with a leaning toward sentimental moods via artists that included Marvin Gaye, Otis Redding and the Platters.

Giordynne didn’t let Jacob see which record she pulled this time around as she turned to the hi-fi, lifted the cover on the record player on top and slipped the LP out of its sleeve, making sure she checked the deck was on the correct speed before she set the needle into the groove and adjusted the volume a little.

Jacob was drying his hands when the song started, Giordynne’s choice quickly dissipating any defensiveness he had had moments before.

“May I ask the lady to dance?” he asked, holding out his hand to her as Percy Sledge’s voice rang out soulfully over the electric organ that was the backing track of “When a man loves a woman”.

“Why, good Sir, I thought you’d never ask.” Giordynne teased playfully as she took Jacob’s hand and let him pull her close, her arms finding their way around Jacob’s neck as his slid around her body, holding her against his.

As they swayed slowly to the music, Giordynne let out a heavy sigh and rested her head against Jacob’s chest, while he nestled his face into her hair and breathed her scent, both of them letting each other’s presence and the music take over all of their senses and carry them away to their own private slice of heaven for those few minutes that the song played.

“You know I love you, right?” Jacob murmured quietly, half thinking out loud as he nuzzled the top of Giordynne’s head, not caring for even a moment that this was the first time he had ever really felt comfortable enough to say it.

“Mm,” Giordynne hummed, looking up at him dreamily. “You know I love you too, right?”

Jacob let out the smallest of laughs and nodded, secretly relieved they were on the same page as he went back to focusing on keeping the beat.

They slow danced through the remaining songs on the record, both completely content and comfortable with the silence between them as the last song faded out and brought them back to reality and the stillness of the cabin around them. Still, even as the music died down and they were left with only the sounds of nature outside the cabin and the sporadic pop and crack of the fire, there was a reluctance to let go that both seemed to sense from their lover, so they remained locked in their embrace, gentle touches and exchanged gazes the language of their silent communication until the quiet started to get to Jacob.

He broke free gently with a gesture to Giordynne to wait one moment while he changed the record, quickly flipping through one of the crates to find what he was looking for.

When he had cued up the song, he returned and swept Giordynne back into his arms, picking up exactly where he had left off as Unchained Melody filled the space the silence had occupied. Giordynne smiled up at him as they began to sway again, their lips meeting in a kiss that matched to slow tempo of the song as Jacob trailed his fingertips up Giordynne’s spine and buried itself in her hair, sending a delicious shiver through her and making her cling all the harder to him.

The crescendo of the song had Jacob lifting Giordynne completely off her feet, holding onto her with an intensity that was both fierce and incredibly tender all at once as he picked her up. Giordynne wrapped her legs around Jacob’s waist and buried her face into the crook of his shoulder and peppering his neck with sweet, fevered kisses as he carried her off to bed.


	25. Desensitisation

_The trials so far suggest that it could be used to help those who come to us afflicted with addiction free themselves from it with minimal pain from withdrawal, while allowing them a clear and open mind to receive the word of the Father, unclouded by their suffering and preconceived notions about us._

_And what of the wolves?_

_There has been a marked reduction in their fear instinct after initial capture, while they maintain their other instincts. That is to say, they are not tame by any means, but they are more susceptible to the training regimen currently in place._

_Excellent._

***

The Grand View Hotel had been named that for a reason; the vista across the lake with the mountains as a backdrop having pulled in the tourists for years before the hotel finally shut its doors to the public and was sold off at auction to the highest bidder.

Many of the local residents had expected the new owner to simply renovate to bring the place a new lease of life before it resumed taking guests, so it was a disappointment to discover that the hotel had been bought up by none other than John Seed as part of his spree of acquiring land and properties for the ever-expanding ranks of the Project at Eden’s Gate and that it was to be used as a boarding house for Project members, at least temporarily while construction was underway at the Father’s island compound to the South.

When the dormitories in Joseph’s compound had been completed, the hotel was passed onto the control of Jacob to do with as he saw fit, again repurposing it as temporary accommodation until both the Veterans centre and the water filtration plant at the McKinley Dam had been acquired and converted for purpose.

Now though, it stood empty; devoid of the thrum of life beating through it, save for the faint sound of birdsong and water lapping at the shore from outside.

Jacob had hit upon the idea that a change of location may be required to ensure that Giordynne continued to make progress in confronting and overcoming her triggers, as, although she had taken several sizeable strides in the last few sessions, Jacob was certain it was merely that she was beginning to anticipate what stimuli was coming next, and if she got too used to the routine of it, it might have her progress stalling entirely if she hit a plateau.

That the hotel was in a fairly remote spot without dozens of Project members and Chosen occupying the rest of the building was also an advantage since Jacob had caught some of his men speculating as to just exactly what had been going on behind the locked doors of his office whenever the barrage of ungodly screams and sounds of combat echoed through the surrounding halls.

While the change in location may have been sufficient, at least for a short time, there was also pressure on him from Joseph with regards to the more officially sanctioned experiments that had been going on, both on the wolves Jacob had been keeping and, more recently, the introduction of it into human subjects for potential medicinal benefits, as Dr Feeney had developed a second strain that would have far fewer of the potential risks of toxic reactions than some of the things the Project had been utilising up until that point.

Talking Giordynne around to the idea had been another thing entirely, and rightly so. Given the difficulties she’d had with mind-altering substances before, even up to and just after they’d met, Jacob more than understood why she would be reluctant to even entertain the idea, but she couldn’t deny that the reason that problem existed in the first place was because of her PTSD and all of the shit that had happened since, and if she was going to truly face, overcome and beat this, she needed to address every last part of it, no matter what surfaced in the process.

Giordynne kept reminding herself that this was different. This was a controlled experiment under the close supervision of someone she trusted, and the substance she would be under the influence of wasn’t some ramped-up street drug her ex had cobbled together in his home-made lab, but something that had been created by an actual professional, under medical-grade conditions, and that she herself had been a part of the development process for the last several months.

In the former lobby of the hotel, Jacob had set everything up as he usually did back in his office, though this time, there was no restraint chair. Instead, in its place, was just a regular old armchair; the sort one might expect to furnish any hotel lobby in backwoods Montana.

The lack of the restraint chair was almost enough on its own to take the edge off Giordynne’s nerves, allowing her the small comfort of knowing that she wouldn’t have strap marks on her skin for the better part of a week or so after, but she would have been all the more comfortable if she wasn’t going to be the only one going into it. Giordynne understood that it was far safer for Jacob to remain sober for the duration though, just in case anything did go awry despite Feeney’s assurances that the batch he had given to Jacob was the safest he had produced yet.

Around ten minutes before Giordynne was to sit in the chair and go through the process of having her senses assaulted with triggering sounds and images again, Jacob handed over a small vial of a clear liquid that had the faintest of a green tint to it to her.

Giordynne held it up to the light between her thumb and forefinger, staring at it for the longest moment as she worked up the courage to finally unscrew the cap, giving the liquid a cautionary sniff as though she expected it to have a scent that warned the monkey part of her brain that it was poison, but the fluid had no real detectable odour beyond being vaguely floral in the way dried flowers still had remnants of their perfume clinging to their paper-thin petals.

“Well, bottoms up,” she muttered as she brought the vial to her lips and swallowed the contents in one hit, taking a moment to gauge if she felt any different, even though she was fully aware it would take at least a couple of minutes to get into her bloodstream.

Taking her seat in the chair, Giordynne did her best to make herself relax as much as she physically could with the knowledge of what was coming in a few short moments, stretching herself out in the chair as Jacob shut off all light sources except the projector.

_Click._

The first slide flashed up, distorted slightly at the bottom third of the image where the trim on the wall traversed the projected image.

_Click._

Another slide, another image. Gunfire.

_Click._

Giordynne was counting as each slide flashed up, her attention drawing away from the noise slightly with her deliberate focus. The projector clicked again, and that familiar tightening sensation filled her chest and throat, Giordynne’s hands gripping the armrests of the chair as she slowed her breathing and kept counting.

_Click._

The image on the wall rippled slightly as though it were caught by a slight breeze, its edges losing their crispness as she stared at it.

_Click._

A splash of red. A distant sound of distress. Giordynne stared straight ahead, fascinated by the flood of colour that washed out all sense of detail. Something was trying to get her attention, trying to tell her something was wrong, but the lights had gotten so bright that it was hard to concentrate.

Giordynne wasn’t counting anymore. She sat forward in the chair, head tilted to the side, enthralled by something in her field of vision. Jacob noticed that her fingers weren’t digging into the fabric of the chair anymore. Instead, Giordynne was moving them as though she was playing the piano, though the movements were stiff and exaggerated.

“Giordynne?”

She didn’t respond when Jacob called her name. Concerned, he moved slowly around her until he was in her field of vision, knelt in front of the chair, a worried look on his face. Giordynne stared at him in a wide-eyed expression. Her pupils had dilated to the point that there was only a thin sliver of colour from her irises visible, making her eyes look almost entirely black.

“Giordynne, can you hear me?” Jacob asked cautiously, unsure if she was aware of her surroundings or had slipped into a completely hallucinatory state.

“Jake.”

A smile turned up the corners of Giordynne’s mouth as she spoke, acknowledging that she was at least aware he was there, and she recognised him.

Giordynne raised her right hand, level with his face, her fingers still twitching mechanically as they made contact with his cheek with the lightest and delicate of touches, so light that the sensation bore a similarity to having walked into a cobweb.

Aside from a little alcohol here and there, the last time Jacob had seen Giordynne in anything close to this sort of state, it had been the night he and Joseph had found her out on the highway near Angel Peak, completely out of her mind, agitated and injured, and seeing her like this had Jacob momentarily questioning if this had been such a wise decision after all, as he had no idea if she would deteriorate at any moment.

“Are you alright?”

Jacob didn’t know if he should call Feeney and get him to come out to administer an antidote, if there was even such a thing, or if he should just maintain supervising her until the effects wore off, however long that might be.

One thing was for certain, however, and that was that Giordynne was not reacting to the images and sounds that had previously had her coming apart. Her having enough lucidity to have recognised Jacob had him wondering if Giordynne was registering the sounds and images at all, and there was only really one thing he could do to test that. Taking hold of both of her hands, Jacob got her to focus on his face again.

“Giordynne, listen carefully. What do you hear?”

The question had her visibly turning her head and looking around as though she was trying to pinpoint the sound.

“Someone is screaming,” she answered hazily, her expression vaguely worried, but telling that she was disconnected from the emotion it usually wrought upon her.

“Correct,” Jacob nodding as the projector clicked onto a slide that had wolves fighting over a carcass.

He turned to see what image was projected before directing Giordynne’s attention to the wall and pointing.

“What do you see?”

Giordynne looked at the wolves and smiled again.

“Judges,” she answered confidently, throwing Jacob a little with her answer.

“Judges?”

“Yes, judges. Like the ones in the yard.” Giordynne repeated her response like a child adamant that they were correct.

Jacob huffed a small laugh and nodded again.

“They are like the ones in the yard, aren’t they?”

Now that Jacob was sure that Giordynne was lucid enough to ease any concerns he had over her becoming disoriented and agitated to the point of hurting herself, he saw no reason not to turn off the audio or the projector. If that happened to change at all in the next few minutes before the projector cycled through the last few images, then he would end things immediately, but for now, as Giordynne was displaying a completely calm response, they might as well finish out the session.

When the wall flashed blank white, Jacob had to untangle his hands from Giordynne’s fingers to be able to stand up and switch everything off. When he returned, she had turned her attention to dust motes floating on the air, caught in a sliver of light from outside that had found a way in through a gap in one of the window shades. Giordynne stood and followed the beam to the window, leaning up against the frame and tracing her fingertip over the gap, giggling as she saw the light on the palm of her hand.

This was about as far removed from the night at Angel Peak as Jacob could have imagined. He’d seen Giordynne tipsy on a few forbidden glasses of Jack Daniels cut with ginger beer, and he’d seen her at her most relaxed sober, so to see her in a drug-induced state that wasn’t fraught with terror and trying to escape unfathomable pain was surreal to say the least, and Jacob wasn’t entirely sure how to handle it, though he was absolutely positive that if Giordynne’s inhibitions drifted in an amorous direction, he had to refuse, as there was no way in hell he would take advantage of her like that.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked, thinking some fresh air might bring Giordynne back down to earth a little.

“Mhmm,” she sighed languorously, still playing with the strand of moonlight.

Jacob would come back in the morning to break down the projector and speaker set up and haul it back to the Veterans centre since he was the only person with a key, and he was fairly confident that nobody would attempt to break in and steal anything as there was no indication from the outside that there was anything inside worth doing so.

Turning off the lamp on the reception desk, Jacob collected Giordynne from her place at the window and guided her out of the back door of the hotel, onto the deck that overlooked the lake.

The moon was big and full on this warm June night, casting a silver countenance over the mountainous landscape. Giordynne hadn’t quite been prepared for the sight and she let out a faintly startled gasp at how pretty it all looked with her altered vision, everything seemed to have a glimmering halo as she looked at it, distracted only by the realisation she could hear the crickets chirping, the sound amplified the moment she registered it.

Hooking an arm around Giordynne’s waist to stop her from wandering off, Jacob pulled her close, still keeping a close eye on every little movement she made.

Jacob still had some reservations about chemically influencing Giordynne’s recovery, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that it was having a positive effect so far, though perhaps a little too well, and if they were going to try things this way again, he would be sure to speak to Feeney about testing the effects of lower dosages, hoping to be able to have Giordynne desensitize to triggers without sending her off into god damn wonderland and risking getting hooked on being strung out all over again.


	26. Indiscretion

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope.”

The bandana tied around Giordynne’s head as a makeshift blindfold only let in patches of light with no discernible colour or detail aside from the sporadic flicker that told her they had passed a tree, telephone pole or another random vertical item that scattered along the sides of the road all over the county.

It was Giordynne’s birthday, and Jacob had something arranged in surprise for her, having met up with her late in the afternoon at the Veterans centre and put the blindfold on her before they had even gotten into her truck, Giordynne giggling girlishly as she clumsily climbed into the passenger seat with a little assistance from him.

Giordynne felt mildly disconcerted about being robbed of her sight for the entire journey, wondering why Jake couldn’t have just gotten her to close her eyes when they got to wherever it was he was taking her, but as much as the sensation of cruising through the valley for nearly half an hour without being able to see was out of her comfort zone, her excitement outweighed it, knowing that Jacob would never let her come to any physical harm.

She tried to guess which direction they were heading by gauging the feel of the turns and how long they seemed to travel in a straight line for, but it gave her no clues she could go on since she had taken it for granted and not really paid much attention to how driving around the county _felt_ when she was doing it sighted.

The best she could tell was that they either must have driven over to the west side of the Whitetail National Park, or South into Henbane, as the terrain seemed to have more peaks and troughs than the smoother roads, pastures and farmland of Holland Valley, telling her that where they were was at least hilly, if not somewhere in the mountains, especially as she felt the truck pass from asphalt onto rough dirt and gravel, making the cab of the vehicle shudder and vibrate somewhat as Giordynne felt the incline change upwards, pushing her back lightly into her seat, with a slight lean to the right, indicating they were driving up and around something.

“Is it the watchtower? I bet it’s the watchtower,” she stated, taking a stab at a guess with this new sensory information.

“No. I told you, it’s a surprise. Now sit tight, we’re almost there.”

A couple of minutes later, the truck came to a sudden stop, the tires crunching on loose stones in soft dirt. Giordynne sat still as she heard Jacob’s door open and close as he got out and made his way around to her side, taking her hands and guiding her down to terra firma.

“Can I take the blindfold off now?”

“Not yet,” Jacob laughed, manoeuvring Giordynne sideways a couple of paces as he locked the truck up and grabbed her hand again. “You’re very impatient, Miss Fixman.”

Even though Giordynne couldn’t see, Jake having hold of her hand meant that she knew he was within distance for her to playfully swat at his arm for addressing her so formally, a habit he’d picked up to tease her with both in private and in front of the Father and other Project members.

Slowly and carefully, Jacob led her from the truck, telling her when to take a step up. Giordynne felt the ground change from dirt to wood, the boards creaking faintly beneath her feet. She held out her left hand, the one not clasped tightly by Jacob’s, trying to feel for anything else that would tell her where he had brought her, managing only to catch her fingertips on the corner edge of a wooden post that was about four inches square, still slightly rough beneath a layer of paint that flaked a little as she made contact with it.

The scent of jasmine and lilacs hung on the breeze as Jacob moved suddenly to walk behind her, pressing close and wrapping his arms around her waist as he brought Giordynne to a stop and nuzzled her.

“You can look now.” He murmured, the words almost a hum that sent a shiver through Giordynne as she grinned and took off the blindfold.

They were standing in the small garden courtyard of the old convent, between the congregation hall and the dormitory building. Giordynne looked mildly confused at first, though the view across the convent gardens with the mountains and the sunset in the background was admittedly picturesque. Then Jacob started up a small generator nearby, and as it sputtered to life, strings of lights hanging from the tops of the pergolas lit up and illuminated the courtyard in a soft white glow.

Jacob was not yet finished, spreading a large plaid blanket over the ground before he leaned into an open window in the dormitory building and produced a picnic basket with an accomplished grin on his face.

Giordynne blushed bashfully, putting her hand to her mouth to half cover her own grin, touched by his gesture as she watched him kneel on the blanket, pulling things out of the basket for several seconds, pausing only to look up at her and tilt his head in a gesture that read as “Are you coming or not?”

Sitting down, Giordynne could not stop smiling, her eyes fixed lovingly on the man before her and thinking to herself how fucking lucky she was to have him in her life.

“Go on, dig in,” Jacob instructed proudly once he’d taken all of the refreshments from the basket, puzzling Giordynne when he got up again, this time ducking into the congregation hall and returning with half a dozen DVD cases

“Pick one.”

Jacob fanned out the DVD’s in his hand and held them out to Giordynne. Giving them a look over, she was delighted by the selection that consisted of several movies she had talked about previously as being some of her favourites, including The Crow and Lost Boys, and she couldn’t help giggle at noticing Jacob had snuck Top Gun into the pack.

“Okay, how about this one,” she smirked, plucking it from his hands.

“Are you sure?” Jacob inquired; well aware she was probably humouring him.

“Yup. I mean, we can always watch the others after, right? It’s not like we haven’t got all night.” Giordynne purred sweetly, settling back down on the blanket, wondering how exactly they were going to watch any of the DVD’s at all until went back inside the congregation hall and a large rectangle of light flashed up against the dormitory wall.

“I should have guessed…” Giordynne muttered to herself amusedly as everything clicked into place. Of course, the guy who could rig up a slide projector without breaking a sweat could also operate more modern kinds of projection equipment at the drop of a hat.

Returning to the blanket, Jacob took a small remote control out of his pocket, pointed behind them and hit the play button.

“Happy birthday,” he breathed as he got settled again and turned his attention to Giordynne while the DVD played through the trailers before the film.

“Thank you,” Giordynne sighed happily, her face aching slightly from grinning so much as she leaned over and gave him a sweet kiss.

“I think this is the best one I’ve had in a very long time.”

***

It was close to midnight by the time they had finished their picnic and movies under the stars, Giordynne snuggling into the warmth of Jacob’s army jacket as he packed everything up and loaded it into the back of Giordynne’s pick up before they left the convent.

When they hit the road again, Giordynne turned on the radio and picked up her iPod from the centre console, clicking through to a new playlist she had made recently, then setting it to shuffle, and ss luck would have it, the second song in was the one she’d hoped would come on sooner or later.

_You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips, and there’s no tenderness like before in your fingertips…_

As the song started, Jacob gave her a side-on glance and laughed, shaking his head when he realised what she’d put on, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as the song reached the chorus, then went into the second verse.

_It makes me just feel like crying…_

“Baby…” Giordynne chimed in with the lyrics, giving Jacob a pressing stare of encouragement.

“‘cause baby, something beautiful’s dying!” Jacob sang back, shaking away that fleeting hesitation he felt in the split second beforehand.

_You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’. Whoa, that lovin’ feelin’. You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’, now it’s gone, gone, gone. Woah…_

All inhibition went out of the window with the second chorus, both launching fully into it as Jake took the parts sung by Bill Medley and Giordynne took the higher parts sung by Bobby Hatfield for the rest of the song, Jacob slightly thankful that there was no one else out on the roads that late at night to witness their impromptu duet.

When the song finally faded out, the two of them sat back in their seats trying to contain their laughter but failing miserably.

“We should do that more often,” Giordynne giggled, feeling exhilarated by the spontaneity of it, and especially seeing Jake completely shrug off his inhibitions to do something cute and silly like that.

“Yeah, we should,” Jacob answered, reaching across and giving Giordynne’s hand a squeeze as the truck took the turnoff that would take them south-east from the convent, through the lower half of Henbane River toward the bridge back to Falls End.

As the truck drove on down the highway, it approached the front entrance of the Moonflower trailer park, Jacob slowing down and pausing to let an oncoming vehicle turn into the park ahead of him. It puzzled him, however, when the car slammed on its brakes suddenly, blocking the path, the driver staring hard at the truck.

“Oh no,” Giordynne whispered, recognizing the driver in the other car the moment she looked up and saw his face.

Jacob looked back and forth between the other driver and the sudden thousand-yard stare that had replaced Giordynne’s smile, bewildered, but guessing correctly that their cover might just have been blown.

Aaron stared back at them both from the other vehicle, frozen momentarily in confusion, then heartbreak, and finally anger as he figured out what he was seeing. The moment the penny dropped, he jammed his foot back down on the accelerator and sped down the driveway into the trailer park. Meanwhile, Giordynne had begun shaking visibly, her eyes glazing over with the threat of tears as Jacob trying to make sense of the situation.

“Wait,” he muttered, puzzling things over. “Was that- “

“My ex.”

Now Jacob was starting to fill with anger. He knew, in great detail, what had gone on between Giordynne and Aaron when they had been together, that Aaron had been the one who had gotten her hooked on drugs before, and that he had been the father of the child Giordynne had lost and blamed herself for.

The truck was still stationary, the engine idling. Giordynne got out suddenly, walking over to the middle of the entrance and standing there, staring down the track into the darkness, her expression a mix of panic and remembered trauma. Of course, Jacob followed, wrapping her up in his arms as he tried to soothe away the shift in her emotional state.

“It’ll be okay,” he murmured, stroking Giordynne’s hair as he rocked her slightly to comfort her.

“No, it won’t. What if he tells people? Everyone is going to find out!”

“Then we’ll deal with it. I don’t care what anyone else thinks about us, and I am tired of hiding. Maybe this is a good thing?”

“What if it’s not? I can’t lose you, Jake.”

“You won’t. No matter what happens, it’s you and me. Remember, I made that promise to you before and I’m making it again. Even if your family and everyone all hates me, I am not leaving you, alright? I’d take another bullet before I let that happen.”

Jacob couldn’t take away her fear this time, but his promise that he wouldn’t abandon her was enough to give her strength to face whatever storm they would have coming if Aaron told anyone he’d seen them together, and if it meant they didn’t have to sneak around anymore, then so be it.


	27. Division

Giordynne fidgeted in uneasy sleep, tossing and turning enough to have Jacob wondering if she would soon wake with a scream and collapse into tears, a frequent hallmark of the nights when her demons paid a visit, just as his surely did from time to time.

The ghosts of war were not the cause of the worry this time though. The hour had been late enough by the time they had gotten back to Falls End, and neither had managed to close their eyes until the sky began to lighten. Even then, Jacob managed to steal only barely three hours of rest before Giordynne’s fitfulness woke him again, sunlight creeping through the blinds and the apprehension of what may be coming to them both preventing him from falling back to sleep.

Instead, Jacob took to watching Giordynne while she slept, gently brushing a strand of hair away that had fallen across her face. Despite the occasional flicker of disturbance in her features as some vision passed through her dream state, there was a strange grace in her sleeping form. It reminded Jacob of marble statues of women in repose he had seen in crumbling ruins of countries far older than the United States. Countries that had seen empires rise and fall throughout the ages, ravaged by barbarians of many creeds, invaded, colonised, rebuilt.

To Jacob Seed, the woman that lay sleeping beside him was nothing short of a goddess in his eyes, and how he felt about her was about as close to having true faith in a religious sense as he had ever experienced, regardless of his service to Eden’s Gate.

Sure, he believed Joseph when he spoke of the Collapse. Whether Joseph really talked to God was neither here, nor there to Jacob. If Joseph believed he did, then it wasn’t Jacob’s place to question it. His mission was to uphold his brother’s vision, by any means necessary, along with John. He had taken that vow without question, having failed them both when they were still just children, but now a man, with the strength and courage to fight until his last breath, he had sworn to use whatever life remained in him to see to it that nobody would cause John or Joseph harm ever again, even if it meant laying down his own life in the process.

But here was something he considered far more holy than anything found in any sacred text. From all of the darkness and despair that he had suffered throughout his life, and despite the awful, wicked acts he had committed along the way, somehow, he had been found worthy of this being, who had heard all of his sins laid bare; all of his fears, all of the parts of himself that had turned black like cancer, and she had forgiven him for every single one. She was his angel of mercy, and she was as blackened and scarred by the world as he had been, yet she held light within her, and it warmed him like nothing else ever had.

Jacob didn’t know how long he stayed there, just watching Giordynne sleep, but the silence and peace were broken abruptly by the sound of a fist pounding on the door downstairs, dragging Giordynne from her repose in a panic.

“Giordynne? Giordynne, honey, open the damn door” came a shout from outside, the voice fighting to sound calm but failing.

“Oh shit,” Giordynne whined, recognising who was banging on the door. “It’s my dad!”

Casey Fixman was standing on the back doorstep of the tattoo shop, clearly agitated and impatient, near shaking with anger and worry. He had received a phone call not half an hour ago from Aaron Kirby that had not gone over well. He wouldn’t necessarily have given Aaron the time of day to hear him out, but he’d known the kid since before Giordynne came back from the military, and even though Aaron was Giordynne’s former boyfriend and had, in Casey’s eyes, been responsible for why his daughter had gotten caught up in doing drugs, what Aaron had to say shook Casey to the core.

“Giordynne, sweetheart, please! Open up!”

If Giordynne’s truck hadn’t been parked up outside, Casey might have given up trying after a couple of knocks, assuming she wasn’t home, but its presence meant one of two things; either she was home, or there was some truth to what Aaron had told him and she was with the cult somewhere.

Giordynne stumbled out of bed, panicked as she dragged on the nearest clothing she could find, urging Jacob to stay upstairs and stay quiet while she attempted to convince her father there was nothing going on for him to be concerned about.

Stumbling down the stairs, it was evident that she had not slept well as she tried hard to compose herself enough to answer the door.

“Hey, Daddy, what’s going on?” she asked, forcing an inquisitive look and using having just woken up to her advantage as she feigned ignorance as to why he was banging on her door first thing in the morning.

“Don’t give me that,” Casey answered back, almost pushing his way through the door. “I just got off the phone with Aaron- “

“Wait, Aaron called you? What’s he done now?”

She sounded disheartened, playing it as though she expected Casey to tell her Aaron had done something stupid or had called to try to get Casey to pass on a message begging her to come back.

“Aaron? I don’t fucking know, but he says he saw you last night with Jacob fucking Seed.”

The edge had come off of Casey’s agitation some as he rested his hands on the back of a kitchen chair to try to steady them and calm himself down so that he could talk to his daughter properly without upsetting her or putting her on the defensive.

“Tell me it’s not true, sweetheart. Tell me you haven’t gone and gotten yourself mixed up with that fucking cult.”

“Dad,” Giordynne sighed, the tone of Casey’s voice making her heart lurch achingly as she tried to bluff her way through this.

“Giordynne, please?”

Giordynne hesitated just a moment too long to spin a convincing lie, and Casey’s face fell at the revelation.

“Giordynne Jolene Fixman, what in the ever-loving fuck have you done?” Casey murmured; his breathing laboured as he tried to process the truth.

“Nothing, Daddy. I haven’t done anything.”

“Are you part of the cult? Please don’t lie to me.”

“It’s not a cult, Dad. It’s… Look, you just don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand it. Why would you go and do something like this? You know how fucking dangerous they are!”

Giordynne chewed the inside of her cheek, a swell of emotion making her eyes sting. There wasn’t anything she could say that would likely make Casey believe her, and the only saving grace was that she was wearing a shirt that covered up the jagged lettering of the sins that had been carved into her skin. If Casey had seen them, Giordynne could not say with any certainty that her father wouldn’t grab the nearest gun he could find and hightail it over to Joseph’s compound.

“Because-,”

The word died in her throat before she could form a complete sentence, but she swallowed and tried again.

“Because it makes me happy.”

“You don’t even believe in that shit, baby.” Casey tried to reason with her, knowing that his daughter had never once shown any interest in God or the Church before, despite there being one at the other end of the street that had a good and well-trusted man as its leader in Pastor Jerome.

“Things change.” Giordynne shrugged, a tear sliding down her cheek.

“Like what? When? How long has this been going on?”

“I don’t know,” she answered, shaking her head as she tried to think when it had started. “A year, maybe?”

“A year? You’ve been fucking around with that cult for a fucking year?”

“More or less?”

The look on Casey’s face had morphed to something somewhere between disbelief, disgust and fear. For an entire year, his daughter had been involved with a group who had been the subject of increasing rumours and speculation surrounding alleged kidnappings, forcing people out of their properties, talk of insidious experiments on the local wildlife, and possible links to a handful of suspicious deaths in the area.

“I want you to leave Eden’s Gate,” Casey said finally, his voice lowered to barely above a whisper, carrying the weight of his request.

“I can’t do that.”

Casey came at Giordynne suddenly, clutching at her shoulders and staring her directly in the face with an expression more serious than she had ever seen from him before.

“Yes. Yes, you can. Whatever it is Joseph Seed is doing to you to make you stay, we can fix it. Please, sweetheart. Leave before it gets you killed!”

Giordynne pulled free of her father’s grasp, taking several steps back as Jacob came slowly down the stairs.

Casey’s eyes widened at the sight of the eldest Seed sibling walking up behind his daughter and putting his arms around her. Something flickered across Casey’s expression that may have been him calculating the odds of who would come off worse in a fight between him and Jacob, or just a flash of rage, pure and simple.

“Take your god-damned hands off my daughter,” he warned coldly, sizing Jacob up as he considered grabbing a butcher knife from the block on the countertop.

Jacob didn’t say a word, nor did he do as Casey told him to. This wasn’t Jacob’s argument to have, but he was not about to let Giordynne go it alone without him in her corner for support.

“You bastard. You fucking brainwashed her, didn’t you? I’ve heard about the shit you’ve been doing up at the old Veterans centre,” Casey seethed, his anger reaching a simmering boil beneath his skin.

Casey had no idea just how close he came to the truth with that accusation. Jacob might not have been trying to indoctrinate Giordynne into Eden’s Gate, but the things he had been doing with the experiments in trying to condition her to overcome her PTSD could certainly be looked at in that light.

“Dad, Jake’s done nothing wrong!” Giordynne shot back angrily, hurt flashing upon her features that he would even suggest such a thing. “He helped me!”

“Sweetheart, he doesn’t help anyone. Why can’t you see that?”

“So, what? You would rather I be miserable and feel like fucking killing myself? Or better yet, go back to Aaron? Is that what you’d rather have, Daddy?”

It was a fucking cruel thing to say and Giordynne knew it, but the viciousness came out of nowhere, and it was out before she could stop it.

“No, sweetheart. I just want what’s best for you is all. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

Casey was close to tears himself now, his heart breaking that very moment. He’d tried so hard to be a good father to her, despite having to do it all on his own and not always getting things right, but he loved his little girl with everything he had, and this made him afraid for her, more so than he had been when she went off to war or nearly died multiple times between losing her leg, overdosing and her miscarriage.

Giordynne turned to face Jacob and nuzzled him, needing the physical contact to anchor her when the moment had her feeling like the ground was slipping away from beneath her feet like sand at high tide.

“Daddy, I love him,” she explained sadly to Casey as Jacob returned her affections, still quiet, not defending himself at all against the accusations Casey levelled at him.

“Giordynne, baby girl…” Casey sighed, sounding defeated.

Jacob was cradling Giordynne now, one hand rubbing up and down her back while his fingers on the other curled into her hair, pressing a soothing kiss to her forehead.

Casey did not like it one bit, but Giordynne had backed him into a corner using his own guilt; the one thing Giordynne had ever apparently learned from her mother. His shoulders sagged as he stared at her and Jacob for a long moment before he spoke again, this time addressing Jacob directly.

“Do you love my daughter?” he asked, his voice cracking as the question fell from him like a lead weight.

“Yes sir,” Jacob nodded solemnly, looking Casey in the eye.

“Then you swear to me that you will look after her because if you don’t, I will put a bullet in you and both of your brothers myself without hesitation. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal.”

Casey blinked slowly, a long breath exhaled through his nose that still shuddered with emotion, still fighting the instinct to grab a knife and deal with Jacob Seed right there and then, the only thing stopping him being the knowledge that Giordynne would never forgive him if she truly loved Jacob. With that, no more words were spoken as Casey walked toward the door in a daze, casting one last look at his daughter before he walked outside and slumped down onto the step, finally letting out a crushed sob.

Inside, Giordynne shed her own tears, knowing that something fundamental had just broken in her relationship with her father.


	28. Weaponization

Word had started to get around Falls End. Everywhere Giordynne went, she could feel eyes burning into her as she passed by. Nobody said anything, of course, but their silence was all the more passing of judgement. Those of her family and friends who did still talk to her either made futile attempts to reason with her or the conversation was stilted and performative at best.

Now more or less the whole town knew that she was one of _them_.

Worse still, she was not just another poor unfortunate who had been hoodwinked by the Father into believing he could save her. No, this time it had been _Jacob_ that had gotten his claws into this one, and that made people far more nervous and suspicious of her.

Giordynne knew that word had gotten out when her business started to drop off, multiple clients suddenly cancelling their appointments for their tattoos, with no real explanation other than they had simply “changed their minds”, over the course of the three weeks that followed the showdown with Casey, and he couldn’t even stand to look at her for very long before that heart-breaking look set into his eyes again and he had to turn away, shaking his head every time.

If the time she’d spent with Aaron getting fucked up on drugs had people disappointed and pitying her, this had turned her into a full-blown pariah among the community, and although she kept up the façade of normality, underneath stirred familiar demons that fed on her pain.

With no clients coming into the shop, Giordynne spent more and more time away from Falls End, taking out her frustrations on the firing range at the Veterans centre, or alone in the gym, beating the hell out of a sparring dummy until either her fists ached and the tears ran down her face, or Jacob made her stop before she got to that point.

Giordynne had not felt this angry and betrayed since the day the doctor told her she had lost her baby, but something about the rage she felt now was different. It wasn’t driven by shock and grief. This was fuelled by something even more primal. Something that had taken every knock and slight and injustice that had been heaped upon her, and now this thing that had been festering in her for so long wanted to even the score.

Jacob recognized the escalation in her rage. It bore all the bloody characteristics of the same thing that had fuelled him as a child to want to take his pound of flesh for his father’s misdeeds. The difference was that Giordynne lacked a specific avatar to focus it upon, and she would need one sooner or later.

That gave Jacob an idea. So far, in his attempts to relieve Giordynne of her PTSD, he had managed to desensitize her to triggering stimuli in a static setting, but that didn’t address what would happen if she were to once again find herself in the middle of a situation where the danger and conflict were much more real. This was where Jacob had upon his epiphany; what if he could put her in a controlled live-fire exercise so that she could simultaneously face the realities of a combat environment while allowing her to alleviate some of that desire to exact payback?

The trial had been set up. Giordynne was to be given an adjusted formulation of the bliss compound Feeney had created for the Judges, this one meant to heighten sensory stimuli without the massive hit of euphoria. It still had hallucinatory effects, but it had the advantage of allowing the test subject to be far more lucid in their decision-making processes and reactions. After that, she would have to navigate a series of environments Jacob had set up throughout the Veterans centre, much like the proverbial rat in a maze as doorways were nailed shut to funnel her through each area of the trial, finally culminating at the firing range outside.

Giordynne waited in the empty room on the ground floor of the Veterans centre, unaware as to what exactly awaited her once she was permitted to leave. Security cameras along the entire route would allow Jacob to monitor her progress, and all but a handful of the Chosen and other Project members had been ordered to leave the grounds for the duration, to prevent any chance of external distraction or injury if Giordynne mistook one of them for a target.

The first wave of the bliss kicking in crept up her spine like warmth, embedding itself into her brain and spreading from there, outwardly showing in the way her breathing became slow and pronounced. From there, it moved to her extremities; a faint, tingling impulse that made her fingers twitch slightly. When Jacob saw those tell-tale signs in the monitor, he spoke over the intercom, giving her instruction to leave the room.

The windows throughout the place were all covered, cutting out any external light source. Instead, the hallways were illuminated only by the red glow of emergency lights that had been fitted throughout the building, plunging everything else into darkness.

As Giordynne stepped out into the first hallway, a speaker up on the wall crackled and filled with the sound of wild animals fighting over a carcass, the accompanying image flashing up on the wall nearby. The light from it caught the glint of metal on a table nearby, Giordynne finding a .44 Magnum, the first of several firearms she would come across as she moved through the maze.

Picking it up, she pressed on, the howls of wolves escalating, cut suddenly with gunfire as Giordynne rounded a corner and was presented by two mannequins and another projection screen. Jacob’s voice came over the noise, urging her to shoot the mannequins before she would be permitted to enter the next stage.

Giordynne fired two clean shots despite the red light and the bliss increasing the difficulty in aiming.

Jacob praised her and the electric lock on the door to the next hallway snapped open, letting her through.

In the next hallway, another table and another firearm greeted her, this time an SMG-11, fitted with a reflex sight. Trading weapons, Giordynne heard another lock open, and as she pushed the door open, she found herself in one of the larger wards of the Veterans centre. Six mannequins were her targets here, three of them rigged with a mechanism that made them move, with two at a different elevation from the others.

This time, no instruction came. There was no need for it. Giordynne knew what she had to do, and without hesitation, she opened fire as she pushed through the room, marking her targets as she went.

_One, two, three._

Mannequin parts shattered as bullets pierced them.

_One, two, three._

More praise, another stage clear, another lock, another image of violence and horror emblazoned on the wall.

Giordynne began to anticipate the pattern, quickening her pace as she traded out the SMG for an M133 pump-action shotgun and passed through the next door, confronted by a literal maze as the corridor split off to both the left and right. Picking a side, Giordynne moved to the right, rounding a corner and blasting the head off a mannequin before operating the shotguns slide to chamber another round.

_A sharp turn, carry on to the end, right turn, fire._

Another mannequin broke apart with a blast to the chest. Giordynne backtracked to the hallway between, pumping another slug into the mannequin on her immediate right before rounding to the left, back toward where the hallway looped, taking out another mannequin in the left-hand corner, then backtracking again, clearing out the last one that awaited her at the end to the right.

“Excellent. Keep going.” Jacob’s voice rang out, sounding like it was inside her head now.

The area opened out into the darkened entrance of the Veterans centre. Jacob instructed her to discard her weapon for the next stage, the noise from the speakers becoming a distorted echo of screams from both human and animal sources, gunfire, explosions, and for a moment, Giordynne thought she could hear the strains of a music box that quickly tuned out into ringing in her ears with a second wave from the bliss.

Outside, the yard was lit only by parachute flares, maintaining the ominous red glow, and Giordynne found either side of the exit blocked by cages that had been moved to form a perilous passageway too narrow for anyone to walk down, forcing them to turn sideways and face the wolves inside that had deliberately been deprived of food for two days before the trial, to reach the other side with only the combat knife strapped to her leg for defence should any of the wolves attack.

“Come on, Giordynne. You’re almost there,” Jacob encouraged sternly, his tone taking on an almost challenging sneer to it.

Giordynne took out the combat knife and approached the gap between the cages, well aware of the lupine shadows that paced and growled around her, lit from behind in blood red. Sliding between the corners of the first set of cages, Giordynne couldn’t see the path ahead for at least twenty metres. Only more of the red glow welcomed her at the end of the dark, steel confines, the narrow strip of light yawning on her like the maw of any one of the wolves that surrounded her.

Fur brushed her fingertips as she trailed one hand across the bars to guide her, making her stiffen and force herself to look deeper into the dark so that she could better make out the wolves and anticipate an attack, and as she reached the halfway point, a snarl from within the cage gave only a split-second warning before the beast lunged at the bars, jaws snapping close enough to Giordynne’s face for her to feel the heat from the wolf’s breath. Giordynne had no choice. The blade came up on reflex in an act of defence and the wolf whined hideously as the knife and her hand came away coated in a hot, wet blood.

“You did what needed to be done, Giordynne,” Jacob’s voice came at her ear when that fleeting moment of doubt arose in her.

“Keep moving.”

There was no other way out but to follow orders, Giordynne steeling herself and forcing her feet to move, keeping the knife raised this time until she slipped past the final cages and out into the square beyond where the firing range stood. Retrieving the MBP .50 sniper rifle from the table by the firing range, Giordynne found that the entire area down the far side of the Veterans centre had been modified for the trial, scattered with strung up animal carcasses and more mannequins rigged to move, this time dressed in fatigues to resemble soldiers in combat.

Giordynne crouched and looked down the rifle's scope, opening fire on the carcass of a deer. She had not been forewarned that Jacob had rigged several of the targets in the final stage with explosives in a deliberate attempt to force her to face her biggest trigger. Giordynne only flinched once at the initial explosion though, the resulting adrenaline rush making her double down, sniping the rest of the targets in succession.

By the time the last mannequin detonated, splintering into nothing, Giordynne’s heart was pounding in her ears and the prickling sensation in the skin on her face told her she was on the cusp of hyperventilating.

She put down the rifle and slumped to the floor, sitting in the dirt cross-legged as she stared blindly at the ground, trying to fight off the feeling of impending doom.

“Well done.”

Giordynne thought Jacob’s voice was still only in her head as she registered the sound of footsteps approaching. Thinking that she had one final test, she snatched up the rifle again and whipped around to face whoever was coming up behind her, pointing it straight at their head.

“Whoa, easy,” Jacob soothed, sidestepping out of the line of fire and cautiously lowering the muzzle of the rifle with his hand.

Giordynne slowly eased her grip on the gun and set it back down again, letting her hands fall back into the dirt, everything catching up with her at once. As Giordynne broke down in silence, tears falling into the dust, Jacob knelt and scooped her up into his arms. He knew he was taking a big risk in pushing her that far to breaking point, but it had paid off as she had made it all the way through to the end, and that was more than he had expected from her for a first attempt.


	29. Premonition

Late summer rain tapped out a rhythmic beat on the metal roof overhanging the porch, drowning out the noise in her head for just a little bit.

Giordynne had hit rock bottom again, and the whole world felt like it was sliding out of reach.

She sat on the wooden boards with her back to the cabin wall, staring out into the middle distance until the backdrop of trees blurred with the rain, letting herself come adrift, trying to ignore the incessant itch beneath her skin. Before, when she got this low, she had run back to whichever substance she could get her hands on to ease the pain. Now it felt like she had a whole new kind of poison running through her veins, and it made her sick and elated in equal measure.

Giordynne hadn’t spoken in days, save for an odd couple of words here and there. Outside, the postcard scenery of rural Montana carried on its business as usual, but inside Giordynne’s head, it was like the end of days had come as she walked through darkness, desolation and fire.

Maybe this was the Collapse the Father talked about, only he had been wrong about it happening to the entire world. Maybe this apocalypse was meant for her eyes only.

Jacob had brought her out here again to recover, hoping that the positive associations it held for her would help pull her out of the hole she was in, or at least act as a safe space until she worked through it.

Other than that, all he could really do for her was give her time and trust that that was enough.

She was still sitting on the porch when he pulled up in her truck, having gone out for supplies. Jacob had not wanted to leave her alone in such a vulnerable state, but they needed food and making a quick trip to a store was faster than going out hunting.

He left Giordynne be for a moment while he put the groceries away, then returned to check on her, hovering in the doorway warily, unsure if his intrusion would be welcome or not, until his worry got the better of him and he edged closer, one hand pressing into the other anxiously as he sized up the handful of ways she could possibly react to him.

Giordynne didn’t move, not even to acknowledge his presence, so Jacob took his chance to sit down, lowing himself down slowly until he was sitting next to her without a foot of distance between them.

“I know you’re angry with me, and that’s okay. I- “

“You don’t know what I am,” Giordynne cut him off emotionlessly, suddenly becoming the most animated she had been in over a week, although still not by much.

“I don’t even know what I am right now, so how the fuck would you know?”

Jacob accepted her judgement of the situation and nodded solemnly.

“That’s fair, and I get it. You have every right to be pissed at me.”

Giordynne drew a long breath in through her nose, sounding irritated by Jacob’s continued attempts to assume the state of her mood, and it quickly shut him down back into sitting there silently, floundering slightly in the shadow of whatever it was she was feeling in that moment.

The rain filled the long gap in the conversation before Giordynne broke the quiet again.

“I’m not mad at you,” she admitted, her posture still tense as she picked at a loose thread in the seam of her jeans at the knee. “I’m just…”

“Working through some things?” Jacob offered, trying to be helpful.

Giordynne’s head bobbed a couple of times, not so much a nod as a series of exaggerated movements as she breathed.

Jacob read the distant expression on her face, trying to work out just exactly where her head was at the moment, knowing she was at the very least out somewhere he couldn’t really reach, and he had no choice but to wait for her to come back from it on her own if she ever did.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, accepting full responsibility. “If you don’t want to do any of this anymore, I’ll understand. Just say the word and we’ll stop.”

Jacob himself did not know if he were only talking about the trials, or if he were talking about their entire relationship in general, but he would not blame Giordynne if she decided she had had enough of both.

To his surprise, Giordynne shook her head.

“Why stop now?” she asked, her gaze losing its focus again as she slipped back into whatever warzone lay behind the darkness in her eyes. “I’ve come this far… What’s that saying again? If you’re going through Hell…?”

Jacob’s eyes flashed up at her.

“Keep going?”

“Keep going,” Giordynne repeated, echoing Jacob’s words, more firmly in her affirmation this time.

Only then did Jacob dare try to move closer to her, lifting himself just enough to close the gap. Giordynne made no protest, but she didn’t curl up against him like she usually would have either, so instead of putting his arm around her, Jacob resting both his wrists on his knees, just watching the way Giordynne stared blankly out at the treeline.

“It hurts right now, doesn’t it?” he asked quietly, changing from using self-centric language to avoid irritating her again.

Another faint nod in response.

“More than before?”

Giordynne closed her eyes, the corner of her mouth twisting up in a pained grimace of a smile.

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t.”

She didn’t want Jacob’s apologies. He might have been the catalyst that triggered her most recent walk through Hell, but he was not responsible for everything else that had created it.

“What can I do to help?” he asked, trying to grasp onto anything that would bring her back to him faster.

Giordynne’s lip stiffened as she drew in another sharp breath, trying to think of something but ultimately finding nothing, then shaking her head with her own apologetic look that she could not give him an answer to that question.

This was more than sadness. This was a despondency so deep that it stole the air from Giordynne’s lungs and blacked out every star in the sky. Every emotional scar she had ever acquired had been torn open, and right now, she was a mass of raw and bloody wounds exposed anew as the void wrapped itself around her pieces and pulled her down into its depths.

Only this time, she welcomed it instead of trying to run, finding its embrace like a lover, leeching into every nerve and fibre of her being.

Giordynne felt like everyone she had ever known and loved had either left her, let her down or turned their back on her, except Jacob. She felt like she had disappointed everyone in her life, except Jacob. Not one of them really knew a damn thing about who she was behind the mask. Not before, and most certainly not now.

Except Jacob.

Jacob had seen what she hid inside, witnessed it bleeding through her edges and shifting under the surface. Jacob hadn’t abandoned her when he met her demons. He had dragged them kicking and screaming into the light and showed her his own.

“We’re the same, aren’t we?” Giordynne mumbled, seeming to reach a moment of realization.

“In what way?” Jacob asked cautiously, leaning forward to better look Giordynne in the face.

Her expression told him what he needed to know. Giordynne had finally stopped running and was facing the darkness inside her head-on. Her eyes were dark and her gaze intense behind the veil of exhaustion that had etched itself over her face, giving Jacob the distinct impression he was looking at something akin to how a wolf behaves when cornered, head and tail lowered, ears flattened, body tensed like a coiled spring ready to pounce with the slightest provocation.

Shifting, he moved to kneel and face Giordynne, cupping her jaw with his hand as he leaned in and rested his forehead against hers.

“We are,” he confirmed, nodding slightly while sighing heavily. “I saw it in you the day we met.”

A fatalistic smile broke across Giordynne’s face.

“I think I saw you too.”

Giordynne couldn’t help but recall the dream she had had where she had been a wolf and how all her friends and family turned against her. Given the current situation, it suddenly felt like a premonition that had predicted how they had gotten to this point.

As much as it hurt, Giordynne knew that nobody would ever look at her the same again now that she had crossed over an extremely dangerous line.

“There’s no going back now, is there?”

Jacob looked genuinely sad as he shook his head, knowing that he was responsible for taking so much away from her.

“No, there isn’t,” he whispered, swallowing hard to keep his voice from cracking.

“I don’t think I would want to anyway. I mean, was it really any better before I met you? No. If you hadn’t come into my life when you did, chances are I would not even be here anymore anyway. I’d have probably died that night out on Angel Peak if you hadn’t found me.”

A laugh forced its way through the wall of emotion, accompanied by a tear rolling down her cheek that Jacob quickly brushed away with his thumb.

“Maybe not,” Jacob countered softly, though it was hard to argue against the logic of it. “But I’m glad you’re still here either way.”

Giordynne found some comfort in that, as small an amount as it may be in the turbulence that currently surrounded her, and she started to relinquish the tension in her body.

“Everyone back home thinks I’ve lost my god-damned mind. I don’t know, maybe they’re right. It sure as hell feels like it right now.” She confessed, more tears spilling over despite her trying to fight them from coming.

Jacob gently pulled her into his arms and curled himself around her so that she was mostly cocooned in him.

“I don’t think you have,” he soothed, resting his chin on top of her head with a sigh, thankful that Giordynne let him give her comfort instead of fighting him.

“I think, if anything, you’ve finally realised you’re nothing like them, and now they know it, it scares the shit out of them because they’ve spent their whole lives like sheep standing obliviously in a field just waiting to be picked off or led to slaughter.”

Something shifted in Jacob’s tone, carrying it from a gentle murmur to an impassioned assertation.

“You’re not a sheep, Giordynne. You might have been born into that herd, but something higher decided you were different. Just like it did with me, it gave you test after test after test, and it sharpened your teeth and gave you claws. They threw you to the wolves, expecting you to be torn to pieces, but what did you do instead? You fought with your life and earned your place in the pack. It’s no god-damned wonder they’re afraid of you because they fucking should be.”

Jacob’s proclamation tugged at the threads of void that ran through her, inciting them to react and agree with him.

“They all looked at you with pity before because they thought you were a victim, but now they see the truth. Are you a victim?”

“No,” Giordynne answered sharply, incensed by the question.

Jacob was right. For too long, Giordynne had walked in shame and judgement behind pitying smiles and sad glances. Every interaction she had had with them felt superficial and false now that she looked back on them with new eyes. Her anger stirred up from the depths, feeding the void as grew louder now, baying like an animal inside her head, longing to be let out.

“Then you know why you can never go back to how things were before. They won’t let you go back because you don’t belong to the herd anymore, y-,”

“I belong to you.”

When Giordynne cut him off, it was with a response that didn’t match what he was going to say. Jacob was going to say that she belonged to Eden’s Gate and that that was her family now, but the answer she gave pleased him no less.

“You _are_ mine,” he affirmed, tilting her chin up to look at him. “You’re mine and I will kill anyone who thinks they can come between us.”

Somehow, the idea of Jacob killing anyone who stood in their way thrilled Giordynne. There was still that tiny voice inside that was telling her she should be horrified, that _anyone_ could include her own friends and family, but the howling of the void drowned it out.

“Have you killed anyone before?”

The question was out before Giordynne was aware she had even asked it, but it seemed a completely natural thing to ask at that moment.

Of course, Giordynne was fully aware that Jacob had most certainly killed before, at least in the line of duty. After all, she herself had been on the front lines in a real-life war zone, and although her focus had been on treating the wounded under a hail of bullets, she could not say for certain none of her own had taken any lives on the battlefield.

But the void begged to know. It wanted to test Jacob at the strength of his word, and Jacob knew that the question was not about the body count he had racked up in active combat.

Hesitantly, he confirmed that he had gotten blood on his hands at least once before, deciding now was as good a time as any to tell her what had really gotten him discharged from the Army. As Jacob recounted the story, starting with how he and Miller had been shot down behind enemy lines, he gauged Giordynne’s response carefully with each truth he revealed, gradually peeling back the layers until the mask on his own monster had completely fallen away.

By the end, Giordynne was silent, a look in her eyes that hovered somewhere between horror and awe. The momentary pause had Jacob believing that this would be the thing that had everything come crashing down, but instead, Giordynne knelt up and took his face in both of her hands, pressing her forehead to his as he had done earlier and brushing her lips softly against his before echoing the same sentiment she had heard when she was forced to kill the wolf.

_You did what needed to be done._


	30. Altercation

_I’m sorry, honey. I think maybe it’s for the best we skip Thanksgiving this year. You go spend some time with Jacob._

Casey’s voice had been laden with that same sadness, confusion and defeat it had since the day the bombshell dropped and he discovered that his own daughter had gotten herself caught up with Jacob Seed and joined Eden’s Gate.

He had tried his best to cover it, but the fact he was cancelling their usual plans for the holiday just drove the point home harder for Giordynne.

It had gotten much worse though when she found out that nothing had been cancelled at all. Casey and Kenny had still gone over to the Fairgraves for dinner since they were about as close to family any of them had in the local area. Giordynne just hadn’t been invited. No doubt because she would largely be the topic of conversation as everyone cast their judgement on her and gave Casey their sympathies, and they did not want her to hear what they had to say about her behind closed doors.

Giordynne had figured out what was going on when she saw Drew and Mary May out in the street. She’d gone over to say hi to the kids, only to be informed by Mary May, now sixteen, free of her braces and blooming into the kind of young woman that would break a few hearts in her lifetime, that their momma said neither she nor Drew were allowed to speak to Giordynne anymore “on account of her being a damn Peggie now”.

Oh, how that had cut Giordynne to the quick.

As far as she was concerned, for all intents and purposes, Giordynne was still herself, but nobody saw that in her anymore. By aligning herself with Jacob and the Project, Giordynne was guilty by association of all the terrible things Eden’s Gate had allegedly done, whether those things were proven or just malicious rumour.

Giordynne’s hurt quickly turned to fury at how quickly the whole town had turned on her. She honestly couldn’t recall having done a single thing to deserve the cold shoulder, other than fall in love with a man they didn’t approve of, and that sure as shit was not a good enough reason to her as to why she had been forced out and cut off.

Jacob had spent most of the day trying to calm her down, or at least take the edge of her simmering rage, but as the day wore on, Giordynne’s fury would not be appeased despite his best efforts. He had even taken her out for a drive, in the hopes of distracting her, but to no avail. By the time they got back to Falls End, her anger had crystalized and taken on a spiteful edge as cold as the snow that lay a foot thick on the ground, and it would not thaw until she had done something to satisfy that itch for retribution.

It was dark out now, and the festivities of Thanksgiving dinner had long since ended while Giordynne was left out in the cold. Now, the neon sign outside the Spread Eagle was a glowing beacon in the frozen November night, welcoming all residents for their customary post-meal merriment.

“I don’t think this is such a good idea,” Jacob protested as Giordynne had insistently tugged him toward the bar by his hand.

Giordynne would hear nothing of it.

The moment she pushed open the door, all sound within stopped dead as everyone inside turned to see her and Jacob standing there.

“Come on, Giordynne. Let’s go,”

“No,” Giordynne had replied firmly, casting a steely glance in the direction of all the eyes that looked upon her.

The welcome was as icy as the weather outside but Giordynne ignored it, a defiant light in her eyes as she made her way to the bar with Jacob uncomfortably in tow.

For a moment, it was almost certain that they were about to be refused service, but Gary Fairgrave let out a growled sigh under his breath and made their drinks, despite Irene’s silent protest in the form of a stern look to her husband as he set the bottles on the bar in front of him.

Normally, on Thanksgiving night, drinks to all patrons would be on the house, but Giordynne slid a couple of crumpled bills over to Gary anyway, an unspoken agreement between them that she and Jacob were there to drink, not cause any trouble.

“I thought Peggies weren’t allowed to drink?” Irene muttered coldly, staring directly at Jacob as she said it.

Giordynne looked like she was going to say something in retort, but Jacob put a hand on her arm to stop her, then picked up the drinks and walked over to an empty table by the door, avoiding eye contact with anyone else since Giordynne was going above and beyond in doing more than enough of it for the both of them.

Only after they were both seated did the rest of the patrons go back to what they were doing before Giordynne and Jacob had walked in, and there didn’t seem to be much of an issue after that beyond the odd glance in their direction by someone every once in a while.

Jacob kept his drinking light with just a few bottles of beer, and though he acted as though he was relaxed, he had already made the conscious decision to remain as sober as possible and alert, in case the atmosphere turned hostile at any point. Giordynne was determined to get hammered though, quickly slamming her way through three double Jacks with ginger beer. After all, it was Thanksgiving, and she was going to make the most of it whether anyone else liked it or not.

Five drinks in, her inebriated state did not go unnoticed by everyone else in the bar, especially when she stumbled and almost fell flat on her face as she went up to order another round.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Irene scowled, putting her hands flat on the bar top as she addressed Giordynne directly.

“Oh, what, don’t like paying customers anymore, Irene? Never been a problem with you before.” Giordynne slurred teasingly, leaning haphazardly against the bar.

“Giordynne, you’re drunk. Go home before you do something you’ll regret when you wake up in the morning.”

The warning wasn’t just friendly advice to call it a night. It carried with it a threat that Giordynne was all too happy to challenge.

“Like what? Tell you all to go fuck yourselves? All o’ you think you’re so much fuckin’ better than me, huh? Think you got the moral high ground ‘cause poor old Giordynne finally gone and done somethin’ soooo fuckin’ bad this time?”

“Giordynne, leave it,” Jacob murmured, trying to catch hold of Giordynne’s arm.

“No! I ain’t goin’ nowhere.” She protested, shrugging loose of his grasp.

“Oh, don’t worry, I know what all y’all been sayin’ about me behind my back for years. Well, you know what? I don’t fuckin’ care what y’all think o’ me anymore, and I gotta say, it’s the happiest I’ve been in a real long fuckin’ time. Really, thank you! My eyes are open now an’ I see how it is, so you all go ahead and talk shit about me, ‘cause guess what? Go. Fuck. Yourselves.”

“That’s it, you are barred,” Irene snapped, coming around the bar as Jacob grabbed Giordynne more firmly and hauled her toward the door.

“You too, Jacob Seed! You go and tell your entire fucked up family and every last Peggie they ain’t welcome around here, you hear me?”

Jacob made a gesture in acknowledgement as he fought to keep Giordynne from getting free to go back inside for a fight. The last thing they needed right now was an all-out barroom brawl with the entire contingency of residents in Falls End.

“Jake lemme go!” Giordynne shrieked, kicking out at thin air as Jacob got her as far as the middle of the street before he dared loosen his grip, ensuring there was enough distance between Giordynne and the bar door for him to get in the middle and intervene if she didn’t calm down.

“No, stop! Giordynne, listen to me,” he murmured, one hand on her arm as she continued to fight while he attempted to try to reason with her.

It took pulling Giordynne into his arms and holding onto her in a fierce hug before she stopped struggling against him, her fury petering out into angry crying as she relented and buried her face in his chest.

Jacob held on fast, doing everything he knew to comfort Giordynne until he was certain enough that the worst of her temper had passed. Only when Giordynne relaxed visibly did Jacob let go of her, helping to wipe her face of the tears that had stained her face with destroyed eyeliner, giving her the appearance of looking like she had dressed up as the Crow for Halloween.

With Giordynne seemingly calm, he started back toward her place, assuming she would fall into step beside him.

That was a mistake.

Giordynne had taken that split second of freedom to grab a sizeable handful of snow and compacted it into a ball before launching it with as much strength as she could muster straight at one of the windows of the Spread Eagle.

Whether she meant to or not, the window shattered with the impact, and the sound of breaking glass had Jacob whipping around, assessing what Giordynne had done.

“Right, that is enough,” Jacob growled, picking Giordynne up and putting her over his shoulder to prevent anything else from happening as he marched over to her house before anyone came out of the bar to give them another earful of abuse, ignoring the pounding of fists against his back as she wriggled and fought in protest.

***

_Put me down!_

Jacob didn’t comply until he was standing at her front door, and then he only did so to open the door.

Once inside, Jacob closed the door behind them, one hand resting on the doorjamb as he closed his eyes and heaved a shuddered breath, trying to dampen his own frustration at the scene that had just played out.

“Are you done?” he muttered after a moment, hoping that Giordynne had gotten everything out of her system now.

“Yeah, I’m done.”

The cold and fresh air had sobered Giordynne up enough now to recognise that she had crossed the line and probably burned the last of her bridges in the town. It didn’t make it hurt any less. In fact, it hurt even more that she’d gone and sabotaged any chance she might have had of rebuilding and repairing her relationships with her friends and family, but it had also been extremely cathartic in the heat of the moment.

Jacob relaxed and moved away from the door, turning to see that Giordynne had hopped up onto the kitchen counter and was sitting there guiltily. It was only then that Jacob realized that Giordynne had left her jacket in the bar and that she was shivering, though Jacob didn’t know if it was from the cold or her little outburst.

“You want to warn me next time you’re going to pull a stunt like that?” he murmured, crossing the short span of the kitchen to her, still a little rattled but glad Giordynne was finally winding down.

If it hadn’t been for the fact that the bar was filled with people who saw Jacob as nothing more than the enemy, he might have relished the thought of getting into a brawl alongside the woman he loved, but this had been the wrong time and place for it, and it was sure to make life even more difficult for them both for at least the foreseeable future.

“Sorry. I just- “

Giordynne looked away, her eyes glazing over as pain swelled up in her again.

“I know.”

Jacob sympathised. He knew none of this would have likely ever happened if it weren’t for him, so he couldn’t blame her for lashing out, and now it was his job to pick up the pieces of her in the wake of the destruction he’d caused.

Coiling his arms around Giordynne, he sighed heavily and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Giordynne reciprocated, nuzzling at his jaw. She was still shivering as her affections quickly became more fervent, seeking out more than just comfort.

“No,” Jacob whispered resolutely as he pulled away from her a little. “You’re drunk. I’m not going to- “

“Please?” Giordynne whined, the word almost a despondent plea. “Please, Jake. I need to feel something other than _this_.”

Jacob stared at her for a long moment, weighing everything up with a grave expression on his face that wavered between holding firm on his convictions and giving in to ease her pain.

Another sigh and he caved, both hands tracing the contour of her jaw as he moved in for a kiss, still briefly hesitant at first, but quickly finding traction as Giordynne acquiesced to his touch.

Jacob’s hands moved from Giordynne’s jaw and skimmed down her back, coming to rest on her hips, gripping them and pulling her forward until their bodies pressed together, their affections growing more feverish with every passing second as they gave in to their most primal urges.

Giordynne’s fingers worked clumsily to unfasten Jacob’s jeans, working blindly as her head tilted back to bare her throat to him, a moan rising up in her that caught on a bitten lip as her hands finally achieved their goal, sliding beneath coarse denim to find Jacob already getting hard as her fingers curled around his shaft and began to move up and down in a slow rhythm.

Jacob made much cleaner work of working the buckle on Giordynne’s belt and the button fly beneath, growling deeply as he tugged at the waistband of her pants, getting them halfway down her hips before he had to lift her up and readjust his grip, pulling away just long enough to have them torn from her completely before nudging her thighs apart as Giordynne resumed her eager efforts at pleasuring him, Jacob possessively enveloping her within his arms, biting and sucking a trail of deep red-purple marks up the side of her neck, leaving no room for doubt as to who she belonged to.

Moments later, Jacob was far too worked up to let Giordynne continue to tease him, snatching at her wrists and pushing her hands away as he took over, tearing at the delicate lace of Giordynne’s panties to rid her of them before running the head of his cock teasingly over her folds, then easing inside with another heated growl.

Jacob grabbed her hips again greedily, dragging Giordynne fully to the edge of the countertop as he sought to find a better angle to allow him to thrust deeper into Giordynne’s heat, leaning her back just enough to find that sweet spot that had her twitching and whimpering deliciously the moment he found it, taking most of her weight as he held her there, spurred on by every sound he pulled from her lips until he had her climaxing with a glorious shudder.

He wasn’t done though. As much as it made him ache almost painfully for his own release to see Giordynne spasm and whine, he held out a little longer, biting at Giordynne’s lips as he pried her arms from around his neck and pinned them behind her back in an act of dominance as he continued to fuck her with increasing animalistic intensity and leave more marks of possession on her.

Only when he had sent Giordynne into another series of rapturous convulsions the that ran throughout her entire body did Jacob allow himself to let go, letting the way her sex clenched and fluttered around his cock pull him over the edge, his grip tightening on Giordynne as they were both consumed, coming undone hard, Jacob’s hips still snapping forward with vigour as they rode out the hedonistic waves of ecstasy until they collapsed together, entirely depleted and spent.


	31. Predestination

It didn’t feel like Christmas.

Giordynne sat in one of the pews in the chapel of the Father’s compound, deaf and blind to the sermon that was going on around her, her thoughts fixed firmly on the memories of previous years spent with family and friends. Sure, those memories were far from perfect, and in the moment, she had often not been as full of holiday cheer as those around her, but compared to this year, it made her ache to feel just a little bit of the light they once held.

Instead, it felt like she was adrift in the middle of the ocean with a storm coming in, not even the faintest glimmer of land in sight.

Joseph had warned her that those who she used to trust would eventually turn against her, but she had been stubborn in thinking that, if she could just show them that there was nothing to be afraid of and that she was still the same person, they would come around sooner or later and she wouldn’t have to make a choice.

They had forced her hand though by making the choice for her.

Now all Giordynne had left was Jacob and Eden’s Gate and a blistering sense of betrayal that ran through her veins like tiny daggers prying apart every atom of her being. She could try to ignore it until she inevitably broke down again, or she could learn to embrace it and let it harden her to stone until she no longer felt it.

Either way, there was nothing for her now in Falls End, and as much as it hurt, it just might have been the push she needed.

***

Giordynne had been silent for almost the entire car ride, just as she had been for the days preceding. Jacob had let her be, knowing that there was nothing he could say or do for her right now that would make it all better. Given that it was Christmas eve though, he still had something in mind that he hoped would at least give Giordynne something else to focus on.

“I was going to wait until tomorrow to give you your Christmas present,” Jacob had informed her when they got back to the Veterans centre.

Giordynne had tried to feign a smile, but it barely broke through her low mood. With everything that had happened, the last thing that had been on her mind was exchanging gifts, but if Jacob had gone to the effort of bothering to get her something, then it would be rude of her to not to humour him at least.

As Jacob had done with her birthday surprise, he had her promise not to peek again, though they weren’t making a trip out anywhere this time around, Jacob leading her deliberately on a small detour around the corridors of the Veteran’s centre before taking Giordynne down a staircase that she was pretty certain led to the basement and service tunnels that ran underneath the building, part of which had been converted to kennels for wolves that were actively being tested on. This knowledge only served to confuse Giordynne as to why she was being taken down there.

Her assumption was only partly right. Jacob had indeed taken her down to the cages in the basement, but he marched her past the row of animals to the far end of the room.

When they reached the end, Giordynne heard Jacob unlock one of the cages before leading her inside and closing the door behind them. For a moment, memory flashed into Giordynne’s head of the trial she had been put through where she had had to squeeze herself through the narrow gap between cages of wolves in almost complete pitch black, and it jarred her enough to make her freeze in her tracks.

When Jacob told her she could look, however, the fear was replaced by brief confusion as she investigated the dark, only seeing the shape of what looked like a dog bed in the corner.

“Jake, what-?

“Take a closer look.” He interrupted, gesturing toward the shape in the corner.

Giordynne followed his gaze and crept closer, crouching down to get a better look as something moved on the dog bed, a tiny, high-pitched whine cutting the air.

A jet-black wolf pup, who looked no more than about ten weeks old, stared up at her from the gloom.

“Wait, how? Don’t wolves usually mate in the Spring?” she questioned over her shoulder in disbelief.

“I guess the bliss testing had an unexpected effect on mating patterns,” Jacob shrugged calmly, a proud smirk curling his lip. “His momma was one of the group we trapped in August. She must have mated some time in October when we still had them all outside.”

“Was he the only one in the litter?”

Giordynne looked around, hoping to see more pups in the shadows, or at least in another of the cages nearby.

“The only one who survived, unfortunately. He had five littermates, but two were stillborn and the other three failed to thrive after the mother abandoned them. I don’t know if that was from the bliss or if she knew something was wrong with them, but that little guy was the only one who made it.”

The bad news saddened her to hear, but Giordynne was more than aware that breeding wolves in captivity posed a lot of challenges even when the animals were not being injected with unregulated substances or being selected specifically for certain traits.

“I wanted to make sure this one made it out of the woods before I told you about them, just in case,” Jacob revealed as he went over to the pup, picked him up and brought him to Giordynne, carefully handing him over.

“He’s mine?” she asked, still completely gobsmacked that the pup existed at all.

“If you want him, yeah.”

For the first time in days, her face lit up in a smile as she cradled the pup to her chest, gazing at him in awe.

“Now all you have to do is give him a name.”

The pup’s paws batted gently at Giordynne’s collarbone as it tried to climb up to sniff at her face, its little tongue flicking out and catching the contour of her jaw, making her giggle and lift him a little higher so that he could reach his goal.

“I think I know the perfect name to give him,” she grinned after thinking for a moment.

“Oh? What should we call him then?”

Jacob had half expected something cutesy or somewhat clichéd, though he gave Giordynne at least some benefit of the doubt, given that she also had a wealth of pop culture knowledge to draw from, and she did not disappoint.

“How about Maverick?”

“Maverick?” Jacob echoed with a smirk, letting the name sit for a moment.

“Maverick it is.”

It wasn’t just the Top Gun reference that had made Giordynne choose that name, though that played a large part. With the pup being the only one of his litter to survive, thus defying Jacob’s expectations that he would likely succumb to the same mystery ailment that claimed the others, the name was all the more fitting in the definitive sense.

Jacob allowed Giordynne to carry the pup out of the cage and bring him upstairs. As Maverick grew, Jacob would ensure that he was trained to the same standard as the other judges in terms of obedience and protection, though, unlike the others, he would be taught only to answer to Giordynne or himself, and Maverick would not be subjected to testing or experimental alteration either since both of his parents had been before they had mated and Jacob could not guarantee that further testing would not be detrimental to the pup's health.

Once they had gotten up to Jacob’s office and the door was firmly shut, Maverick was given free roam of the space, wagging his tail eagerly as chunky paws wandered over the wooden floor, stopping every few inches to press his nose into cracks between the boards and give them a good sniff in exploration between playing with them both.

If Jacob had known that giving Giordynne her own judge would cheer her up this much, he’d have done it a lot sooner, but then the animal she might have gotten instead would have likely already been at least a juvenile, if not a full-grown adult, and much less cute and playful. At least this way, the pup would be much more receptive to training and bonding with Giordynne without having to resort to some of the harsher tactics required on wild-caught wolves.

After a while, Jacob’s thoughts turned back to his duties, and as much as he’d love to spend all night just watching Giordynne play with Maverick, he really should at least go check in with the lieutenant who had been left in charge while he had been at the compound.

“Oh, come on, don’t quit on me now, soldier!” Giordynne pouted playfully when Jacob tried to excuse himself to go do so.

The sentence stopped Jacob cold, giving him a distinct feeling of déjà vu.

“What did you just say?” he asked, squinting at her slightly.

“Don’t quit on me now, soldier?” she answered, her expression shifting to puzzlement.

That was what he thought she said.

Jacob paused, a frown creasing his brow. He had heard someone say that to him before, and it made something in his brain itch with sudden curiosity.

Resting against the edge of his desk, Jacob thought for a moment before addressing the look of wild confusion that had cast itself over Giordynne’s face.

“Okay, this is probably going to be a weird question, or maybe one that makes you uncomfortable,” he prefaced, blinking as whatever it was still ticked over something in his mind. “When did you say you enlisted?”

“September eleventh, 2002. Exactly one year on from 9/11.” Giordynne answered, looking no less perplexed. “Why?”

“And you were a medic, right? When was your first deployment?”

“February the following year?”

Things were rapidly starting to drop into place as to where he had heard it before, and the more he probed, the more it felt like either this was just going to be a massive coincidence and he was reading way too much into it, or something so mind-blowingly unlikely had occurred.

“Where’d they send you? It would have been under Operation Eagle Fury if I remember the date correctly, wouldn’t it?”

“Helmand Province.”

Jacob nodded slowly, deep in thought, and, as he had predicted, Giordynne was starting to feel just a little unnerved by where this line of questioning was going until Jacob noticed her discomfort and changed his tone a little.

“You got any war stories? The good kind, I mean. As few and far between as those generally are. Anything kinda weird or unusual?”

“Like what?” Giordynne asked, wondering what on earth had set off this train of thought, but she took a moment to entertain his request, thinking back to her first tour of duty and whether anything stuck out about it that she could tell him.

“Not really. Just the usual kind of stuff. A lot of trying to patch people up under a hail of bullets, that kind of shit.” She shrugged, right before she happened upon one possible story that might be sort of amusing against everything else.

“Well, actually, there was this one guy I treated. He took a pretty nasty shot to the stomach. I remember I had to work on him on the chopper to the field hospital to stop him from bleeding out.” Giordynne recounted, going over it, piece by piece. “By the time we got there, I’d managed to stabilise him, and I don’t know if it was the morphine talking or if he was just grateful to be alive, but he said the damnedest thing.”

“Which was?”

“The guy straight up asked me to marry him, right then and there. I kinda laughed it off and told hi-,”

“You told him to ask you again when he wasn’t high as a kite and bleeding all over the place,” Jacob muttered, finishing her sentence.

“Yeah. I never saw him again after that, so I don’t know what…”

Giordynne froze, her brain finally registering what Jacob just said. Several long seconds of silence hung in the air between them as everything clicked.

“No. Fuckin’. Way.”

The words dripped out of Giordynne’s mouth, hanging on utter disbelief.

“Are you fucking shitting me right now? You are shitting me. You have to be. Tell me you’re joking, right?”

“Hey, I’m just as surprised as you are, sweetheart,” Jacob countered, his own expression filled with shock and incredulity.

Another moment ticked on.

“This can’t be real,” Giordynne blinked, trying to wrap her head around the revelation.

“Well, this sure fucking is,” Jacob replied, tugging up his shirt to show the scar on his stomach that Giordynne had seen dozens of times in the last twelve months.

Maverick yipped and tilted his head, trying to understand what his humans were so perplexed about.

“So, you’re telling me…”

“I guess so.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

As the shock started to subside, they both started laughing, Jacob moving to pull Giordynne into his arms. It seemed damn near impossible that they had somehow crossed each other’s paths before and been so oblivious to the fact until that moment, but here they were, and suddenly Jacob found himself wondering if maybe there was some sort of mystical force at work in the universe after all, though he still wasn’t about to start believing in God.

“So, how about it?” he murmured, nuzzling her with a sigh.

“How about what?”

“Well, you did tell me to ask you again when I wasn’t losing blood and high on morphine?”

“I did, didn’t I?”

“Mhmm.”

If either of them had expected their relationship to ever reach this point, now was not the time they had had in mind, but now it suddenly just made perfect sense.

“Yes,” Giordynne mumbled, turning beet red.

“I’m sorry, what was that? I didn’t hear you,” Jacob teased, cupping a hand to his ear.

“YES” Yes, I will fucking marry you! Did you hear me now, Jacob Seed?”

“Yes Ma’am!”


	32. Union

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, Ao3 drafted the chapter previous to this (31 - Predestination) instead of publishing it, and I only noticed the morning after posting chapter 32 (Union), so if you missed the previous chapter, please read that before this one cuz it will make a lot more sense

Midnight Mass.

The chapel was as filled with light and warmth as she was, swept from the endless dark in her depths and uplifted almost enough to forget the things that had brought her so low in the first place. Gone was the despair that plagued her in the earlier hours of the previous day. Giordynne’s mind was peaceful now, borne on the current of new winds as she listened to the Father speak, surreptitiously stealing glances at Jacob from time to time, renewing the flutter in her heart and the smile on her lips each time.

Jacob’s gaze was far more resolute as he faced the congregation and could have easily been mistaken by others for simply watching over the Father’s flock, but he only had eyes for one person in that room; the woman he had asked just hours earlier to be his wife.

The suddenness of the proposal had caught them both by glorious surprise and left no time to acquire a ring, but that was unimportant for now. What mattered was that something serendipitous had happened, whether by the hand of kismet, or sheer dumb luck, and neither could fight its pull a moment longer in the face of such extraordinary fate.

Having been exposed among the residents of Falls End, as painful and vitriolic as it had been, may have been a blessing in disguise, as it now only left things to be revealed on Jacob’s side, and now that they were to be wed, the fact left no room for doubt in anyone’s eyes that this was merely just some passing infatuation or distraction for either of them, so under the rules that governed such relationships within Eden’s Gate, Jacob saw no reason why they would not be given the Father’s nor anyone else’s blessing.

While it was often customary for engaged couples to spend an extended period of time before the wedding on planning the affair; everything from the brides dress to the flowers, to the catering and guest lists, this suited neither Jacob nor Giordynne. No extravagant ceremony was required for them to declare their love and commitment to one another. They did not even intend to wait until the district court office reopened after the holidays, as that was only required to submit the paperwork of their union and they already had someone who could simultaneously bear witness and act as a notary to make it legally binding.

After mass had ended, as Giordynne remained behind, Jacob made no secret of his affections for her, and the openness of such caught the attention of John, curious to know what had changed recently to have them bring their relationship out into the open so blatantly all of a sudden, especially given that the youngest of the Seed brothers had clearly noticed the stolen looks throughout the service while Joseph was focused on delivering his sermon.

Though Joseph had not caught on during the service, he was no blind fool. Of course, he knew that they had been conducting a relationship for the last year, given that the incident in which Joseph had had Jacob be the one to give Giordynne her sins had clearly not deterred either of them from pursuing their romantic interest in each other, so the Father had let it slide and simply observed, pleased when it became apparent that Jacob could maintain a satisfactory balance between their relationship and his commitments to Eden’s Gate, and that Jacob’s influence on an intimate level had brought Giordynne much further into the Project than had originally been anticipated.

“Ah, Giordynne, you are looking well this evening,” John nodded demurely as he casually injected himself into the conversation between her and Jacob to fish for details. “Might I say, you seem to have a _glow_ about you?”

Giordynne almost burst out laughing at the comment. She was not entirely certain that John had meant to imply that he thought she was pregnant, but the presumptuousness of it was amusing all the same.

“Um, thanks. I am well, thank you, John,” she answered, fighting hard to contain her amusement, her eyes flicking upward in Jacob’s direction in a “what the fuck?” sort of expression.

An awkward beat passed between them, John smiling just a little too widely for comfort.

It was Joseph who broke the silence, having watched the exchange from a distance. He too had noted John’s choice of words and the reaction they got, though Joseph was not quite so quick to jump to that immediate conclusion.

“Giordynne, will you be joining us to celebrate the festivities this year, or shall you be with your family again in Falls End?”

“I- will be here actually, Father,” Giordynne answered, only the smallest falter in her voice.

Joseph seemed moderately surprised but pleased nonetheless since it was subtle confirmation that her ties back home had apparently deteriorated considerably as, previously, Giordynne had always held such a strong connection to her own brethren before now.

“Ah, it warms my heart that you will be gracing us with your presence, my child. Bless you.”

Giordynne nodded graciously as another momentary silence fell, filled with the unspoken expectation that both the Father and John were waiting for something else to be said.

“Actually, there is something else we should mention,” Jacob interjected, before the pause hung just a moment too long, taking a half step between Giordynne and his brothers, as if out of some subconscious instinct to protect her, and cleared his throat.

“Giordynne and I…”

John’s grin returned, his blue eyes sparkling with delight, sure he was about to receive confirmation that he had guessed correctly.

“I asked her to be my wife and she said yes.”

“Oh?” Both John and Joseph chorused in unison, their joint expression of surprise not at all unpleasant, through John seemed all the more certain that this was going to be the preamble to the news that there was also a baby on the way.

“This is marvellous news. Congratulations to you both!” Joseph intoned warmly with a nod, opening his arms wide in joyous felicitation.

Until that moment, there had still been a small moment of doubt in both Jacob and Giordynne that news of their impending nuptials would be ill-received, but that fear was all but obliterated now, allowing them to breathe a sigh of relief.

“Well it would seem we have double the celebration on our hands today, wouldn’t it, brother?” John added, reminding them that this had come right smack in the middle of the season’s festivities, and thus a time of great unity for the Project and its members.

“So, it would seem. What greater gift could we receive than welcoming our sister, Giordynne, into our own family as well as the one we have built here at Eden’s Gate?” Joseph agreed, stepping forward and taking both of Giordynne’s hands in his as he addressed her directly. “Truly, welcome. Have the two of you decided when the blessed event is to take place yet?”

“No, but-,”

Giordynne looked to Jacob, who returned the same quizzical expression. They had not discussed anything at all regarding the wedding, much less a proposed date.

“Why wait?” Giordynne shrugged, a smile etching across her face as Jacob nodded in agreement.

They already had everything they needed right there in the chapel given that the Father was the obvious choice to ordain the ceremony, John would wrangle the paperwork for them on the legal side, and there would be no issue in finding enough witnesses. The only things they did not have were rings to exchange, and the usual kind of clothing one might expect to see at a wedding, but these were things that could be sourced relatively easily or done without entirely.

If there was any sadness that her own father would not be there to give her away, nor would he be among those who would celebrate their union, Giordynne didn’t show it, at least outwardly, though the rush to hold the ceremony so quickly could potentially be interpreted as an attempt to deflect it.

***

By the late afternoon, all necessary and immediate preparations had been made. The ceremony was to take place in the evening after the members of the Project had gathered together to enjoy a simple but traditional Christmas meal thanks to John’s generosity and a team of caterers he had hired for the occasion due to the number of mouths they had to feed.

Once the masses had enjoyed a good meal and good company, some drifted off back to whatever lives they had outside of the Project, while the full-time members remained, packing into the chapel to bear witness to the union of Brother Jacob and his betrothed.

Standing at the altar with Joseph, Jacob awaited his bride as the congregation sang in praise, and when the chapel door finally opened, Giordynne entered, accompanied by John and dressed in the closest thing to a suitable wedding dress that she owned; a simple wine-coloured, off-the-shoulder maxi dress with lace bell sleeves, with her hair loose and flowing down her back in soft waves. It was a fitting outfit for someone such as Giordynne, who did not own a single white item of clothing, and in the candlelit glow inside the chapel, the colour of the dress looked almost black.

As John escorted her down the aisle, the congregation stood and sang the bridal chorus in absence of an organ for it to be played on. John had also called in a favour to a local pawnbroker, who was heavily indebted to him for some legal work he had carried out on the man’s behalf, to acquire wedding bands for both Jacob and Giordynne.

At the sight of Giordynne, Jacob felt a little underdressed suddenly, but he did not own anything by way of a formal suit or tuxedo. He wished that he still had his service uniform for this, but that had been lost to him when he had been made homeless after being discharged from the Army hospital. Instead, he had tidied himself up as best he could with what he did have, making sure he was freshly showered, his hair combed and beard trimmed neatly, and the simple black t-shirt and jeans he wore were clean and pressed, though he still wore his boots and had one of his army shirts over the top.

Once John had delivered Giordynne to the altar, he stood off to the side and allowed Joseph to take things from there.

“Dearly beloved, you have come together into this house so that, in the presence of the Father and our blessed community, your intention to enter into marriage may be strengthened by the Lord with a sacred seal. It is through this sacrament that your love may be enriched with his so that you will remain faithful to each other and assume all the responsibilities of married life as you go forth into the Garden he created for us. And so, in the presence of his grace, I ask you to state your intentions.”

The gathered congregation took their seats as Joseph pressed on with the ceremony.

“Jacob and Giordynne, have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly? “

“I have,” they both answered in unity, exchanging loving glances.

“Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honour each other for as long as you both shall live?”

Each of them answered, “I am.”

“Since it is your intention to enter the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and this Church.”

With that, Joseph took hold of both Jacob and Giordynne’s right hands and placed them together.

“Brother Jacob, do you take Giordynne to be your wife? Do you promise to be faithful to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and to honour her all the days of your life?”

“I do,” Jacob answered firmly, a slight sigh escaping him.

Sister Giordynne do you take Jacob to be your husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honour him all the days of your life?”

“Yes, I do.”

John moved forward and handed Joseph the rings before returning to his place behind Giordynne.

“Bless, O Lord, these rings which we consecrate in your name so that those who wear them may remain entirely faithful to you and each other, abide in peace and in your will, and live always in your Garden, together through the end of days.”

The entire congregation murmured a resounding “Amen.”

Jacob took the smaller of the wedding bands from Joseph, slipping it onto Giordynne’s ring finger.

“My beloved Giordynne, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

Giordynne mirrored the action, taking the other ring and sliding it onto the corresponding finger on Jacob’s outstretched hand.

“My dearest Jacob, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

Once the rings were exchanged, Joseph asked if there was anyone within the gathered congregation who had any objection to the union. No answer came, so he progressed to finalising the vows.

“By the giving and receiving of these rings, and the exchange of vows to love, honour and remain faithful to one another for all time, I hereby pronounce that these two be married under the eyes of God and our community. May their union be blessed and fruitful into and beyond the coming Collapse, so that they may walk together in the Garden of our Lord.”

“Amen.”

“Brother Jacob, you may kiss your bride.”

Jacob leaned in to place a lingering kiss upon Giordynne’s lips, the two of them staring deep into each other’s eyes as their union was made official and the ceremony brought to a close, welcomed by an eruption of cheers of congratulations from the gathered flock.


	33. Excision

_The most painful betrayal does not come from thyne enemy. It is no betrayal at all when it is from those who never loved us in the first place. No, it is those that we have held the closest covenant with who deal us bloody wounds with the sharpest of swords._

The Father stood addressing his flock, a grave expression upon his face that translated the unsettling atmosphere that hung in the air. Several people shifted uncomfortably in their seats, the Father’s words apparently cutting close to home in whichever circumstance each of them perceived them to apply.

Giordynne was no different. She had been dealt those wounds so recently that they were still fresh and bloody. It was not her pain that the Father spoke of at this moment though. The betrayal he spoke of was of a much grander scale.

“It has been brought to my attention that there is one among us who would seek to bring harm to everything we have built, despite having been welcomed so deeply into our family. They have smiled at us while they concealed the dagger behind their back, plotting against us.”

Many in the congregation cast glances about, trying to seek out whoever it was that Joseph was condemning.

“This person, no, this _snake_ in our Garden was blessed with every grace that could have been bestowed upon them. We loved them. We _trusted_ them, and yet, they did not truly love us in return, and it is only by the good fortune that we have a faithful friend among the local law enforcement that this duplicity has been revealed to me.”

Giordynne saw out of the corner of her eye a twitch of movement in Faith, standing to the right of the Father, on the other side of the stage. Turning her head more fully, Giordynne caught a flicker of fear across the other woman’s face that was just enough to confirm that _she_ was the dissenter among their ranks. All shadow of a doubt was removed in the next second as Joseph also turned toward Faith with a stony look that drew the rest of the congregation's attention to her, eliciting a ripple of gasps and murmurs among them at the revelation of who had betrayed the Father and Eden’s Gate.

“You have disappointed me, child,” Joseph informed her, taking a step closer. “I put my faith inside you, but that was my mistake. Now I see the truth. You are ungrateful for everything we have given you, and you chose to express that by lying and attempting to destroy everything we have built here. Such actions cannot be forgiven.”

“I didn’t, Father, I swear,” Faith replied, the words a half-whimpered whisper as tears spilt down her cheeks.

“Oh, but you did, and you continue to be deceitful even now.”

As it had transpired, the woman currently known as Faith had been gathering information on various members of the Project, chiefly the actions of John, Jacob and the Father himself, though there was plenty else that had gone on that could be interpreted as a flagrant disregard for the word of the law at best, and outright criminal at worst. She had spent months documenting the many things she saw and heard and had contacted the Sheriff’s Department with the dossier, delivering it unknowingly into the hands of one of the deputies, Nancy, who had been covertly inducted into Eden’s Gate for some time, thanks to the machinations of John and his wrangling of all of the Project’s legal dealings.

The moment Nancy knew what she was in possession of, she immediately withheld the file, scrubbing all record of every conversation that had happened in connection of it and contacted John, who, in turn, told Joseph.

Joseph turned briefly to retrieve the file from the lectern in the centre of the stage, holding it aloft before he continued to advance upon Faith, then flipping it open and beginning to read from one of the piece of paper inside.

It was painful to watch, the terror growing in the woman’s expression as Joseph read from the file as though delivering a passage from his word, his tone vehement in its delivery. This was no longer an accusation. It was an outright interrogation, and one that could not be argued against as piece after piece of evidence was presented to the audience, filling the air with animosity toward the woman in white who shrank back into herself, frightened eyes darting around for some route of escape and finding the only one barred by a crowd now baying for retribution.

Suddenly, the Father silenced the crowd, arms raised as a stern calm fell back upon him.

“Despite this betrayal, let us not lower ourselves to the level of mere beasts! Each of us has been deceived, and it is natural to desire our pound of flesh in return, but this is not the way. Our dear Faith may have lost faith in us but let us not lose sight of why we are here.” The Father intoned as the chapel fell into an uneasy hush.

“Though it wounds me deeply, I must take back my faith from you, child. You have cast the Project aside and turned your back on us, and so we must do the same to you. From this moment on, you are no longer an embodiment of our Faith, Selena, and thus the gates of Eden will remain shut to you when the collapse comes.”

“No, please?”

“You have brought this upon yourself. Do not make this any harder than it already is. Now, _go_.”

The Father motioned toward the chapel door, indicating to Selena that she must leave immediately; not just from the chapel, or the compound, but from Eden’s Gate itself in its entirety.

Selena cast another fearful glance around and, upon finding no sympathetic gazes turned in her direction, accepted her lot and stepped down from the stage toward the centre aisle of the chapel.

As she passed by, the crowd began to stir aggressively again, shouts and insults hurled at Selena as she made that shameful walk toward the door. Two Project members opened the door and held it as she exited, pausing to cast a final backward glance at the Father, who stared coldly back at her in judgement, uttering a single word.

_Run._

As that word fell from Joseph’s lips, multiple Project members broke free from the congregation and began stalking after Selena to chase her from the compound, their pace quickening as they closed the distance between them and her.

As instructed, she took off sprinting as fast as her feet would carry her, darting to the right and out of the gate by the chapel that led to the edge of the lake, as her path toward the main gate of the compound gave too much open ground for the pack to catch up to her and cut off her escape, and at least the trees bordering the fence beside the lake offered just enough cover to lose them, in case someone opened fire upon her in their rabid quest for vengeance.

The display had disturbed Giordynne somewhat, stirring her own sense of persecution, but the violent reaction from the crowd that followed it was not the reason for her discomfort. Instead, she found herself feeling just as indignant, though more so that the things Selena had done if they had been successful, would have surely resulted in Jacob being taken into police custody along with his brothers, and Giordynne had grown far too protective of their relationship to have her husband snatched from her so soon after they had wed.

Watching as the rest of the congregation left the chapel and engaged in the chase, Giordynne looked to Jacob anxiously. A small part of her wanted to seek approval to join the pack and chase Selena from the compound, but there were already far too many people doing so for her to really justify it, so she remained seated, trying to ignore that pins and needles impulse that crept up the back of her neck and rooted itself deep into her brain.

Everything was quiet in the chapel now, other than for some discussion between the brothers.

“You did the right thing, brother,” John commented, seeming somewhat agitated himself by the scene. “I take full responsibility that this deception was not uncovered sooner. I should have known that she had much more to confess-,”

“It is not your fault, John. Her intentions may well have been sincere when she was cleansed and brought to atonement. It is much more likely that those who seek to oppose us simply got to her in the time since she became my Faith. I will not make that mistake again.”

A shout from outside drew the attention of all four of the people that remained in the chapel.

Moments later, one of the men that had run off in pursuit came back, an urgent, panicked expression etched across his countenance.

“Father come quick! The traitor! We need you immediately,” the man puffed, out of breath.

No further detail was given as Joseph left, immediately followed by both John and Jacob, but from the way the man had come running in request of assistance, it was clear that something had happened during the pursuit that was of dire import, the urgency suggesting that something grave either befallen Selena, or she had done something to another member of the Project in her bid to escape.

Giordynne had moved to follow also, but Jacob had quickly told her to stay put, perhaps out of wanting to protect her, or preventing her from seeing something he did not want her to see.

Jacob had been right in not wanting Giordynne to see why the man had requested assistance from the Father. As Selena had ran for her life through the thick cover of trees along the fence line in the late December night, the snow on the ground had made the terrain all the more dangerous to traverse, and as she approached the abandoned lumber mill, she had no way of knowing that the crisp whiteness concealed a threat she had not anticipated; a bear trap, still set beneath the thin, icy crust, lay in wait for some living thing to have the misfortune of stepping on the pressure plate at its heart.

What might have remained of Selena’s luck ran out at that moment, a bloodcurdling scream slicing the frigid night air, accompanied by swish of metal on metal and a sickening crunch.

The man who had come back to the chapel led the Seed brothers directly to the stricken woman, clinging to a nearby tree to steady herself, already paling from shock and blood loss, the snow around her now red-black in the moonlight.

All around, Project members stood stock still, eyes transfixed upon the gory scene. One of them had moved to attempt to pry the trap from around Selena’s leg but had been halted by another who advised that doing so would surely be a death sentence. No, this new predicament required the attention of someone who had much more knowledge of these things, and who wiser to assess the situation than the Father himself?

The moment Joseph saw the bloody tableau ahead of him, he instructed most of the congregation who had come out this far to return to their lodgings in the compound, with a handful told to go fetch a stretcher and bring it back so that Selena may be moved to somewhere safer to receive medical treatment.

While this went on, Jacob had taken off his belt and used it to fashion a tourniquet to temporarily stem most of the blood flow to prevent Selena from succumbing to her injuries, at least while they moved her. He then dug through the bloody snow with his hands until he had cleared around the trap and located the chain that looped around the base of the tree, unscrewing the bolt that connected it to the trap itself. Only then did he make any attempt to free Selena’s leg from its steel jaws, and as he pried the trap open with his combat knife, the extent of the damage became horrifyingly apparent.

As soon as the men that had been sent for a stretcher returned, Selena was placed upon it and brought back toward the chapel.

When Jacob pushed the doors open and Giordynne saw him stained with blood, her immediate thought was that it was his blood, but when the grisly procession filed in behind him and the stretcher bearing Selena was set down upon the stage, the truth was revealed to her all too suddenly.

“Shouldn’t we take her to the hospital?” one of the panic-stricken men carrying the stretcher questioned, wondering why they weren’t loading Selena straight onto a helicopter.

“No,” Joseph answered, seeming rattled but clearly calculating something in his mind. “If we take her to the hospital, the police will not be far behind, and then she will have succeeded in her mission to destroy us. We will take care of this ourselves.”

“How?”

The question was answered when Joseph looked directly at Giordynne, who, up until now, had had her gaze fixed firmly on the blood and the ragged wound that bisected Selena’s left leg below the knee.

“Wh-what? No-,” she stuttered, realising why the Father was staring her down intently.

“You have the training,” Jacob reminded, approaching to try to convince her.

“Yeah, but-. I haven’t been a medic in years, and even then…” Giordynne argued in a panic.

“At least take a look at it?”

All eyes were on her now expectantly, making her feel backed against a wall. Giordynne hesitated a moment before deflating, defeated.

She knelt down, her hands already shaking as the sight reminded her of all the wounds she had treated on the battlefield, and in particular the striking similarity to the wound that had cost Giordynne her own leg those few years previously.

Taking a deep breath and swallowing back nausea that rose inside, she assessed the state of Selena’s injury, confirming the suspicions she had had the moment she saw the damage.

“The bones are completely shattered, and the only thing holding the leg on is a few tendons. Even if we got her to the hospital within the next half an hour, I seriously doubt they will be able to do anything that can salvage it with this amount of damage. At the very least, removing it now might buy some time and maybe save her life, but-.”

“You can do it, right?” Jacob asked, knowing it was a lot to ask of her, even without her own trauma to account for.

“Technically, yeah, I know _how_ to do it, but…”

Giordynne needed to take another breath to stop the room from threatening to spin.

“Look, if it were a gunshot or shrapnel injury, yeah, I could pretty much do it with my eyes closed, but a _field amputation_? Sure, we learned about it, so theoretically, I know what to do, but I’ve never actually fucking _done_ one! Do we even have the shit necessary for this?”

As freaked out as Giordynne was, somehow, her brain was already mentally going through everything she had been trained to do, that fast-acting instinct that had been drilled into her as a soldier kicking in in the face of a crisis. Another moment and she was listing off everything she was going to need, hoping like hell that the Father just so happened to have a combat-grade medical kit stashed somewhere on site and praying that she wasn’t going to have to improvise on the fly.

The tourniquet Jacob had applied was holding up for now, but it had not staunched the blood flow entirely, so Giordynne would have to work fast.

Efforts were made to source everything she needed, but what she was presented with was far from satisfactory given that the best they had to hand was an EMT kit that would normally be found on board an ambulance, plus some disposable scalpels leftover from a supply that had been sent to Feeney for use in his work with the Judges. There was a small saving grace, however, in that there was a box of combat dressings, a bottle of ketamine, trauma shears and some haemostatic scissors.

Giordynne quickly used a couple of bottles of rubbing alcohol in the EMT kit to clean her hands and the wound site with before setting to work, administering a dose of ketamine to sedate Selena, then using the haemostats to clamp off the severed artery that the tourniquet was holding closed, before packing the wound with a combat dressing while she used a scalpel to start cutting through the remaining layers of skin, muscle and tendon.

The blood coated everything, including Giordynne’s hands and made the plastic handle of the scalpel slick and slippery. Giordynne had gotten through the shredded skin and muscle layer before the scalpel inevitably broke, forcing her to do the rest of the work with the trauma shears.

A second dosage of ketamine had to be given as Giordynne cut through the last of the meat and gristle, finding that the bone beneath was, for the most part, indeed splintered and far beyond repair, but there was still a fragment that still connected the mangled limb to Selena, and the shears would not suffice in getting through it.

“I need a saw,” Giordynne muttered, pausing and wiping her forehead with the back of her wrist, inadvertently streaking blood across her own skin.

As John hastily ran to find one, Giordynne added another tourniquet and more haemostatic dressings to the wound to hold it over until he returned.

The best John could find was a hacksaw from a work shed on the compound. The blade was not new or clean, and not the sharpest it could be, but Giordynne had to make it work regardless, even as the sound of it grinding through that slender rod of bone grated on her like she was cutting through her own, and as it finally cut through, the blade slipped, knocking the haemostat that clamped the artery loose, sending several gouts of blood spurting up before Giordynne could scramble to reattach it while she tidied the edges of Selena’s damaged flesh up enough to suture the gaping wound closed. When the task was finally complete and the bloody stump sewed and dressed, Giordynne sat back in a daze as Joseph ordered Selena be moved to one of the boarding houses.

The stage at the front of the chapel looked like the killing floor of an abattoir, streaked and pooled with blood and gore.

All three of the Seed siblings had remained silent through the entire procedure, aside from the moments when additional equipment had been requested, though their reactions to the scene were markedly different. The Father had watched sternly but with purpose. John seemed to have been fascinated by it, as though he was observing surgical theatre in action.

Jacob, however, had his eyes fixed firmly on Giordynne rather than the operation itself, and though Giordynne had relatively kept her cool for the duration, it was immediately apparent in the aftermath that she was about to unravel rapidly now that the moment of hyper-focus had come to an end.


	34. Incineration

_Time had stopped._

All around, there was movement and voices, but in the eye of the storm, everything was silent and frozen in place. The only thing that seeped in was the metallic taste and smell of blood, the air thick with the scent, coating the inside of her nose and throat, making her feel like she was drowning in it.

It didn’t register that part of the reason it clung to her senses so much was that she was covered in it from head to toe, and even though her body was taken away from that grisly scene, her mind remained right there in the middle of it, fixated and unable to tears its gaze away.

Jacob had driven Giordynne up to their usual place of sanctuary, speeding away from the Father’s compound in the dead of night. He gave no care to the fact that the blood was also now all over the interior of the truck as it could be cleaned or even disposed of easily enough if necessary, but they had to get across the county before they could get off the road and start thinking that far ahead.

Words went in one ear and out of the other.

Giordynne put up no protest as Jacob undressed her, removing and dumping all those bloody garments into a black trash bag to add to the pile of things to get rid of before he filled the bathtub with hot water and carefully led her into the bathroom.

Jacob had to pick her up and gently lower her into the tub, as Giordynne made no motion to do it herself.

With Giordynne completely unresponsive, Jacob stopped trying to talk to her and turned his attention to washing away the blood that had long since dried and began to crust since leaving the carnage in the chapel where they had celebrated their union only a few days prior. Picking up a washcloth, he dipped it into the water, wrung it out and gently began wiping Giordynne’s face, using his free hand to cup her chin and turn her head so that he could do a more thorough job, working in small, delicate motions to reveal clean skin beneath.

While Giordynne was silent, her eyes were not as vacant as they had been after previous traumas. This time, she was fully lucid in terms of his presence. It was just that everything else had the indelible print of blood and butchery mapped across it, and she stared back at him with hollow eyes.

That little warning voice inside her head had screamed itself mute a long time ago. Now there was just acceptance that this was her life from this point on.

Jacob’s expression was regretful as he continued to clean the bloodstains off her, and as much of a part as Jacob might have played in things tonight, Giordynne still wouldn’t lay blame at his feet, even if she had known that Jacob himself had planted bear traps throughout the wooded area around the compound. After all, he was just following Joseph’s orders, right? How was he to know the Selena would betray the Father and inadvertently step into one while fleeing?

_Or at least that was what Giordynne would have told herself if the truth ever came out._

The bathwater may as well have been blood by the time Jacob finished. Giordynne’s skin might have been scrubbed of bloodstains, but she felt far from clean, and the thought weighed heavily on her that this was not over by a long shot. The amputation had been brutal and dirty, and as the Father was adamant that Selena wasn’t going anywhere near a hospital, Giordynne was in no doubt that, sooner or later, infection would likely set in, or there would be some other complication, and that would force Joseph’s hand for the worse.

Of course, that meant that the Father was right; getting anyone from outside involved in terms of medical intervention would bring down law enforcement upon them and have them all brought up on charges, now including Giordynne herself.

When sleep had finally found her, it was through sheer mental and physical exhaustion alone, Giordynne’s body forcing itself to shut down, though it did not buy her any escape.

***

The walls pulsed vividly, that scent and taste surrounding her again, though this time, she was not in the chapel. Instead, the hallways of the Veteran’s centre beckoned but it wasn’t the emergency lights that stained the walls red, the unmistakably glossy sheen coating them telling her that they were wet to the touch.

On the table ahead was the .44 Magnum. There were no prompts. She knew what to do as she rounded the corner.

_One. Two._

She put two rounds in carbon copies of herself, their faces agape in surprise as they dropped lifelessly to the floor.

The next room, the SMG, six more versions of herself.

_One, two, three._

_One. Two. Three._

The M133 shotgun, the maze, five new corpses who wore her face.

As she pushed open the door to the front courtyard of the Veteran’s centre, Giordynne heard the faint notes of a music box carrying on the wind, getting louder as her perception shifted. It was dark inside the cages. She was ravenously hungry.

In the dark, she paced and growled, waiting for prey to pass within range.

_Just a taste._

She lunged at the bars with a snarl. Pain sang through her as that sweet, iron-rich tang filled her mouth.

The veil lifted. Blood splattered the fresh-fallen snow. Giordynne stood in the middle of the street in Falls End, face to face with herself. Both stared at the gore that stained the other, one clutching a ragged wound on the side of her throat with an expression of terror and confusion, the other wiping the mess from her chin, her lurid grin revealing sharp canines as she licked the blood from her lips.

Another moment and the wounded twin dropped to her knees, all attempts to stop the bleeding failing as it came as profusely as ever as the last of the colour drained from her face and she collapsed into the snow, staring up at the night sky with starless eyes.

Giordynne felt something heavy in her hand.

She looked down to see that she was clutching a gas can in her right hand, the liquid inside sloshing about slightly with the momentum of her own movement, and for a moment, the urge to start pouring it out at the door of every building in Falls End swelled up inside her as her anger manifested itself, taking the form of a wolf-shaped shadow that began to circle her.

_You know what you must do. It is simple. Just unscrew the cap, dump it out, light it, and BOOM!_

Was it the wolf talking to her, or her own thoughts? Giordynne didn’t know, but she was keenly aware that the line between the two had blurred a long time ago. Now, whichever it was, it was goading her to act, and _oh how much she wanted to_.

Taking out everyone who had hurt her in Falls End would surely satisfy that urge, but the wolf was clever. He showed her what would happen if she followed through with her desire, reminding her that if she chose to burn the whole town to the ground, they would know immediately that it was her who had lit the match, and then the Sheriff would have plenty of reason to come knocking on Eden’s Gate.

Giordynne grew fearful as the wolf conjured up a bloody standoff between the Sheriff’s department, the residents of Falls End, and the Project at Eden’s Gate. Bodies piled up on either side as gunfire was exchanged, Giordynne crying out as the spectral avatar of Jacob took several hits and fell to the ground beside the Giordynne with the torn-out throat.

_Do you want to be responsible for what will happen?_

Giordynne shook her head, tears springing up and spilling down her face as she stared at Jacob’s bloody corpse, looking exactly as he had in her dream where Grace had shot them both.

_Then choose._

The wolf demanded a sacrifice, and he was growing impatient. Giordynne swiped at the tears rolling down her cheeks, casting a sudden glance backwards to break the vision of her dead husband lying in the snow. In doing so, she looked directly at her shop and the apartment above that she had called her home. Once, it had been everything to her, but now its darkened windows leered down at her like empty eye sockets and a deathly grin.

It was then that she made her choice.

Setting down the gas canister, she walked over to the pallid, blood-soaked version of herself and began dragging the body toward the shop’s entrance, pausing only to open the door. Once inside, she dropped her corpse and returned for the gas canister, the wolf watching on in glee as the battle scene faded like lifting fog, leaving only one shape remaining.

Giordynne uncapped the gas can and poured the contents out all over the shop and into the back area. When she had saturated everything that was even remotely flammable, she trailed the remaining fluid out of the door, took out a battered Zippo lighter from her pocket and set the gasoline alight, watching the flame snake its way into the belly of the building and engulf everything in sight.

The wolf praised her for making her sacrifice then vanished without another word.

Giordynne turned to find only Jacob standing there, blood and bullet wounds gone, filling her with relief that her choice had spared his life.

Jacob walked up to Giordynne calmly, seeming unaware that he had apparently been dead some minutes before, and slipped his arms around her from behind, praising her as the wolf had done. They stood and watched the fire from a save distance, far enough down the road that led into the town to be concealed in the darkness beyond the light from the inferno, long enough to see it spread through the entire building, the flames climbing into the night sky as the timber-framed structure was consumed, incinerating everything, including the last part of herself that had any connection to it.


	35. Annihilation

The whole town was shaken to the core. Nobody had expected to ring in the new year in the shadow of a burning building, the home and business of one of the residents who most of them had known pretty much their entire lives, gone up in a violent inferno that had burned the structure beyond saving long before the County Fire Department could get there to extinguish it.

It had been the sound of the windows blowing out that had woken and alerted the nearest neighbours, Irene Fairgrave ushering Drew and Mary May outside as Gary first called 911 to summon the emergency services, then Casey Fixman to tell him that Giordynne’s home was on fire.

The heat from the blaze had been so fierce that it not only melted the snow more than twenty-foot around the perimeter of the property, concealing any footprints that might have been left behind. The black Chevy Silverado truck parked right up next to the building didn’t stand a chance, going up in flames along with everything else after the flames had broken all the windows and started consuming the exterior clapboard of the house.

Everyone else in the town had been woken once and for all when the gas tank of the truck finally gave out, forcing the gathering crowd back to a safer distance, and by the time sirens could be heard in the distance, almost all of the residents of Falls End were congregated outside in the street, dressed in heavy winter coats over their sleepwear. Some were huddled together, watching the scene in horror and fear, while most of the adult men had wrangled buckets and hoses to attempt to fight the fire themselves.

The spigots were all frozen shut, so the hoses were useless, and with only the buckets and the time it took to fill them using the faucet in the general store across the street, it quickly became futile to try to put out the blaze at its source, so they focused their efforts instead on soaking down the side of the Spread Eagle that was closest to the fire in hopes of preventing the bar from also catching alight and taking out a second home and business in the process, and even as the fire continued to rage, the flames eating their way through the roof, Pastor Jerome had to dash forward to physically restrain Casey from trying to get inside to search for his daughter.

By morning light, nothing remained but a charred shell, half-collapsed in on itself, the fire department relegated to dousing the last of the smouldering embers in the snow.

Of course, speculation about what or who had caused it began almost immediately, but it was kept behind closed doors to spare the grieving father any more pain than had already been wrought upon him.

Human remains had been found within the ashes once everything was dampened down and the fire marshal had deemed it safe enough for an official investigation to begin, though what was left had been so badly incinerated that, even if the Sheriff’s department had the resources to test for DNA, there was nothing left that could provide a viable sample for identification purposes, so it fell to the medical examiner to try to make a positive identification.

As best he could tell, the remains were an adult female, and that the lower half of her left leg was missing from just below the knee, with remnants of a corresponding prosthesis also present where the remains had been located. There was also some melted residue and other evidence to suggest that there had been active intravenous drug use in the time period before the blaze broke out, though a toxicology screening could not be completed to find out what the substance was, nor could it be determined whether the female had been conscious or not when the fire started.

The investigation into what caused the fire was just as inconclusive. Traces of an accelerant were found, but heavily degraded, and the best estimation the fire marshal could make was that there wasn’t enough definitive evidence to ascertain whether the fire was started deliberately (with a theory posited in the report that suggested, given the evidence of drug use, the fire was possibly started by Giordynne herself as part of a suicide attempt), or if faulty wiring from lights on a Christmas tree her father acknowledged was in the property at the time may have shorted out, causing a spark that ignited the dry branches and spread to several cases of medical-grade isopropyl alcohol in the tattoo shop while Giordynne was incapacitated from the drug she’d used.

***

_And in local news, a fire broke out in Falls End in the early hours of the morning on New Years Day. Local residents were shocked to discover that Hope County Ink, the towns tattoo shop, was on fire when they were woken by the blaze, and initial reports from the Sheriff’s Department say that they believe the owner, Giordynne Fixman, was killed in the incident, though there have been no further updates as of yet to confirm this, or whether they believe it was started deliberately or just a tragic accident._

Hearing her name on the radio grated like razor wire against bone. It didn’t seem real to her, but all the evidence she was presented with made it crystal clear what she had done.

“I don’t know, you must have blacked out or something,” Jacob had tried to offer up as an explanation. “You were gone when I woke up and by the time the patrol found you, you were standing on the side of the road between here and Falls End.”

Giordynne had woken up at John’s ranch, confused as to how she got there and feeling like someone had run an electric eggbeater inside her skull. Jacob told her that she had left the cabin at some point after he’d gone to sleep and apparently driven first to the compound, taken Selena without alerting anyone, and then gone on to Falls End. When Jacob realised Giordynne was missing, he sent out a dozen patrols to scour the county for her in a panic that she was going to hurt herself.

He had gotten to the spot where she was, finding her once again unresponsive in a dissociative fugue, only to see the rising flames coming from the town in the distance, and pieced two and two together.

That was when he had brought her to the ranch, both ensure that she was safe and to give them both an alibi if the Sheriff came knocking.

When it became apparent though that the authorities thought that the remains they found were Giordynne herself, the Father convinced her that it was best to let them continue to believe that, otherwise everyone would know what she had done and Eden’s Gate would not be able to protect her from the legal consequences of it. Instead, John would see to it that all her tracks were covered and acquired all pertinent and necessary documentation under a different name to provide her with a new identity.

Giordynne felt like she was being swept along with the tide, pulling her under the water and dragging her over the stones, but she was helpless to stop it, caught halfway between the psychological effects she was suffering and the inability to argue with the overbearing logic Joseph pushed upon her.

By the time everything had been set into place, all Giordynne could do was say thank you to the Father for once again saving her, but the sentiment was far from that of gratitude. This was a perpetual indebtment, just like the ones he held over John and Jacob.

“So, I guess he won,” she mumbled desolately as she sat on the edge of the bed in one of John’s guest rooms.

“Don’t think of it like that. It’s not about winning or losing. He’s just trying to make sure we fulfil our purpose and survive the collapse.” Jacob sighed, sitting down beside her.

“I killed someone last night, Jake. And not by accident.”

“I know, but it’s not your fault. You didn’t know what you were doing at the time.”

Giordynne’s jaw set as she blinked a tear from her eye.

“I did though,” she corrected, vividly recalling the memory, though still under the lens of how she experienced it. “I thought it was just a bad dream, but I _knew_ what I was doing.”

Giordynne recounted the dream from the beginning and how skewed her perception had been throughout the whole thing; from how it had started like she was going through the trial again, but all of the mannequins had been her, through to becoming the wolf she’d killed, only this time she had torn out her own throat instead of dying to the knife.

Jacob listened patiently, his expression neutral at first, as she went on to describe the scene the wolf had then shown her where Jacob had been shot again and asked her if she wanted to be responsible for all of the blood that would be spilt.

Only when Giordynne said that the wolf had demanded a sacrifice be made did Jacob’s expression shift.

When he had told her about what he did to Miller, Jacob never mentioned that he had hallucinated a wolf of his own urging and insisting that he make that choice, or that that same spectral beast still haunted his nightmares to this day. Giordynne’s choice of words had driven it home all the harder. The wolf had also told Jacob he needed to make a sacrifice, as though it were some sort of primordial deity that needed blood spilt to work its magic and spare his life, and now it seemed it had returned, this time claiming its victory by forcing his beloved to kill to spare the both of them.

“I made a promise to protect you,” Jacob murmured as pulled Giordynne into his lap, reminding her of the vow he had made over a year ago, as well as the renewal of it at their wedding. “I swore that I would kill to uphold that, and I still stand by my word. Doesn’t matter if they bring in the National Guard or the entire US motherfucking military. I won’t let them take you from me, even if I have to build my own army just to put enough bodies between them and us to stop them.”

Giordynne buried her face into the hollow beneath Jacob’s jaw, closing her eyes tight and trying to force her fear away by listening to his heartbeat and the way his voice resonated in his chest when he spoke quietly.

Jacob curled around her protectively, drawing in a deep breath as he rested his head on hers.

“Don’t you worry about it anymore, sweetheart,” he soothed sweetly, though the flicker in his eyes was ice cold in its conviction.

“If the wolf demands a sacrifice to keep them from our door, then I _will_ sacrifice every last person in the county if I have to.”


	36. Retaliation

Six days, thirteen hours, thirty-four minutes.

That was how long it had been since Giordynne had been informed she couldn’t leave. It was too soon. It wasn’t safe. If they saw her walking around alive and well, all hell would break lose. Jacob wouldn’t allow that to happen, so she had to stay put, safe and hidden in John’s ranch until the heat was off and there was no chance the Sheriff was going to show up at the Veteran’s centre or the Father’s compound with a warrant.

It wasn’t the worst place to be held captive. John had expensive taste, so his home was furnished accordingly, much more homely than the simple, functionally basic décor Joseph preferred, and a stark contrast from the militarised utilitarian surroundings of the Veteran’s centre.

Of course, it was not just the legal problems that surrounded what she had done that posed a challenge right now. In burning her business and her home, all personal possessions she had that weren’t on her person or at the cabin in the Whitetails had gone up in flames along with them, as well as her beloved truck. The only things she really had left were the clothes on her back and the slightly battered iPod classic she had taken from the truck before she torched everything.

At the end of the day, most of it was just stuff and could be replaced easily enough. John had already offered to assist with that task. No matter how much money he threw at it though, he could not buy replacements for the more sentimental things, especially anything that had been a gift from her dad.

Every link she had to her past was gone, and she was nothing more than a ghost to the people she had loved and considered family, both figuratively and literally.

John had already gotten to work in arranging the necessary paperwork needed to provide her with a new identity. The only thing holding up making any of it official was Giordynne choosing a new name for herself that she would be comfortable answering to for the rest of her life. In the end, she gave consent to just alter the spelling of her first name and take Seed as her surname since she was married now.

Now came the obvious. If Giordynne was going to be able to move freely around the county without anyone being the wiser, she’d have to change her appearance considerably to do so, and that would be no easy feat with her distinctive collection of tattoos. She would either have to start getting used to wearing clothing that would conceal every part of her body from the neck down, or make multiple trips out of the county to another artist to have her work covered up or reworked enough to appear completely different, which, again, would take time and a considerable amount of money to accomplish.

In the meantime, she could change her hair at least.

Standing in the en-suite bathroom of the guest room she was staying in, Giordynne stared into the mirror for several minutes, feeling a sense of loss for the woman reflected back at her. This had to be done though if she had any hope of passing under the radar undetected when out in the open.

She had everything she needed thanks to the ranch’s Wi-Fi connection, one of John’s credit cards and the joys of discreet, guaranteed next day delivery. On the counter top there were a tail comb, a paddle brush, hair ties, scissors, electric hair clippers with guards in several lengths, a bucket of hair bleach and a bottle of 30 volume developer, and, finally, enough red hair dye to ensure no missed spots.

Giordynne was no stranger to cutting and dying her own hair. She had been doing it since she was in middle school, though back then it was largely to the horror of her mother when baby GiGi started experimenting with the aesthetics of punk rock.

She’d been dying her hair blue-black for the last few years since she left the military though, and to change it now was both bittersweet and as mildly exhilarating as it had been when she first dipped into an unruly spectrum of loud colour all those years ago.

Giordynne finally finished mourning her old self and picked up the paddle brush first to remove any tangles, then moved to the comb and scissors, pulling forward a three inch section on both sides, teasing them into place directly in front of her face before she cut herself some blunt bangs that skimmed just above her eyebrows when she let go of them. From there, she sectioned the rest of her hair into three, with the largest section running down the middle of her head from front to back, tied up out of the way with a couple of the elastic hair ties.

The buzzing of the clippers filled the air as she plugged them into the outlet and switched them on. She didn’t need any of the guards for what she had planned, tilting her head in one direction toward the mirror to get a clearer view as she shaved away the section on the right, tracing the contour of where the sections were divided with the edge of the clippers to get a clean line as she made the side cut, then repeated the whole thing with the left side. Once the sides were even, Giordynne let down the middle section and brushed it out again. If her hair was worn down, the only difference anyone would notice would be the bangs, but if she wore her hair up, the harsh lines of the cut and the shaved sides changed the way her features appeared, making them seem much more angular and sharply defined. Combined with a drastic change of colour, it was sure to be enough to make it harder for anyone to recognise her at first glance.

After using the scissors to trim around ten inches from the length to bring her hair to just skimming her shoulder, Giordynne got to work mixing up the bleach to lighten her hair. She wouldn’t need to risk frying the hell out of it by taking it all the way to blond. Just one application would lift to a brassy orange that the red had been chosen specifically to cover, as it wouldn’t add an undesirable tint to the final colour, and the red wouldn’t fade nearly as quickly as other bright colours tended to with her hair texture.

By the time she had done with the whole process, Giordynne was pleased by the result and the enamel tub in John’s guest bathroom looked like a scene from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre with all the red dye stains, though it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be remedied by spraying everything with a good bleach-based cleaner and letting it sit for a few minutes before rinsing so she had everything shipshape again in no time at all.

All that was left to complete her makeover was makeup and some new clothes.

***

Jacob came back in the evening after he had finished out his daily duties and gotten more intel on the situation in Falls End. The Sheriff still didn’t have anything to go on to build a case against Eden’s Gate despite most of the residents believing they were responsible. Better still, in an official capacity, the medical examiner had signed off on formal identification, so for all intents and purposes, Giordynne Jolene Fixman was officially dead and her remains were due to be interred in the graveyard at the Lamb of God church in the coming days, meaning that the authorities weren’t looking into whether the whole thing had been staged.

Giordynne listened from the upstairs landing, out of the line of sight of either Jacob or John. Hearing that it was getting less and less likely that what she’d done was going to be uncovered was only a small comfort given everything she’d lost, but the finality of it felt like a rebirth, and the makeover she’d given herself confirmed that from an outside perspective, the severity of the style change making her feel fierce and powerful as she took on her new identity.

At an opportune moment, Giordynne chose to make her debut, the conversation halting suddenly at the vision coming down the stairs.

Her blood red hair was straightened and pulled back into a high, sleek ponytail that accentuated her cheekbones like a knife blade, framing dark eyes ringed in smoky black, her lips a dark burgundy. Beneath, she continued the monochromatic theme with a red and black check keffiyeh-like scarf to hide her neck tattoos, a black vest with skin tight crimson/black acid wash biker jeans, knee high lace up boots with a block heel, and her old faithful biker jacket over the top that had been given a new lease of life with the introduction of a scattering of metal studs lining the lapel edges and the Project’s insignia painted in red on the back of it.

On a basic level, it wasn’t a huge departure from her old clothing style, but the new cut and colour scheme of her hair and clothing was noticeably more aggressive and intimidating in its attitude, and Giordynne’s updated look had Jacob taken aback a little, though not in an unpleasant way.

“Remember, lust is a sin, brother,” John teased Jacob quietly as the two of them watched Giordynne descend the stairs ahead of them.

“Shut up,” he snapped back under his breath, elbowing his younger brother lightly before straightening up.

Giordynne strolled directly into her husbands waiting arms, secretly revelling in the reaction she had gotten from him, setting her lips into a satisfied smirk.

“Red is certainly your colour, darlin’,” Jacob growled in approval as he appraised every detail of her transformation, widening the smirk on Giordynne’s lips to a full Cheshire cat grin. “If I’d known you’d look so damned good in it, I would have asked you to wear it sooner.”

John made an approving gesture of his own behind Giordynne before he made his exit and left the two of them alone.

“Well, I figured if I was going to have to make some changes, I might as well make the most of it,” Giordynne purred, trailing her fingertips in small circles over the front of Jacob’s shirt. “You think maybe this is enough for me to get out of here without anyone recognising me?”

Jacob truly wanted to say yes to her, but the moment of hesitation lasted just a beat too long betrayed that he thought it was still far too soon, even with how different she looked with her new hair colour and style. That flicker of hesitation was enough to pop Giordynne’s bubble and sour her mood immediately, replacing it with a flash of frustration that broke loose before she could put a lid on it.

“I’ve been stuck here a week, Jake! A whole. God Damn. Week. I have changed literally everything about how I look. I’ve covered up my tattoos. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for all of John’s help, and he’s been more than welcoming, but what more do I need to do to not be cooped up his guestroom anymore?”

“I know! I know, and I get it, you want to come home with me, an-,”

“Yeah, Jake. I want to go home with you. My husband. Not be stuck in your brother’s house staring at the walls and going stir crazy until you think it is safe for me to leave, ‘cause new flash, Jake! It probably ain’t never going to be safe, because I fucking murdered someone, faked my fucking death and probably committed at least a half a dozen other felonies in the process!”

Giordynne had a point and they both knew it, but Jacob was trying to make the best out of a shitty, complicated situation.

“I know,” he sighed, fully sympathizing with how fucked the entire thing was. “I understand, okay, but getting wound up about it isn’t going to help anyone, so please calm down-,”

“Calm down? I just set fire to basically everything I have ever owned, including my truck. Did you know that my Daddy bought that truck the week I was born? Did you know that he drove that truck for literally the entirety of my childhood, and for my eighteenth birthday, he did it up and gave it to me as a present? Did you know that Jake, hmm? And you want me to fucking calm down? Really?” she asked, the rising volume and pitch of her voice heralding that calming down was the last thing she was going to do any time soon.

“Yes!” Jacob answered, the word firm as his own frustrations started to rise before he quickly reined it in. “Yeah, I want you to calm down. Look, I promise I am working on getting you home as soon as physically possible, alright? I just need you to sit tight just a little bit longer. Can you do that for me?”

Giordynne was visibly fuming, but she was trying to put her anger back in its box, knowing that Jacob wasn’t deliberately dragging his feet.

“I guess…?”

“Good. Okay,” Jacob nodded, a long breath exhaled through his nose as he raised his hands in a gesture telling Giordynne to wait where she was while he left the room, assumedly to speak to John to see if there was anything that could be done to help the situation.

Giordynne stood, still fighting her frustration as Jacob dipped out of sight, hearing him catching up to John somewhere in another room. As she strained to listen to what was being said, she caught sight of something on the table nearby.

Jacob’s car keys.

Her impulsiveness had Giordynne casually sliding along the edge of the table and surreptitiously snatching them up as quietly as she could before making for the front door of the ranch, and she had the door of the Jeep open, the keys in the ignition and the engine started before either John or Jacob had cottoned on to what she was doing.

The ranch door flew open as she jammed her foot against the accelerator pedal, sending up a shower of gravel and snow as the tyres bit down and gained traction, the vehicle lurching forward and gathering speed down the driveway. Giordynne had no plan for where she was headed. She just wanted out, and if taking Jacob’s Jeep for a joyride gave her even a modicum of relief, then fuck it.

She drove up past the Lamb of God church before she was conscious of the fact that something in her wanted to go ploughing through the centre of Falls End, either to see just exactly the extent of the devastation she’d caused, or out of some lingering guilt and a subconscious desire to be seen or get caught. Giordynne forced herself to turn off and take the road north instead, skirting past the far end of town far enough away that nobody in the town would get a good look at her.

Where her home used to stand was just a blackened pile of debris now, the burned-out shell of her truck having been removed from the scene at some point. Other than that, Falls End looked the same as it always did, and that made Giordynne feel even more like her life had been insignificant before.

The feeling made bitterness rise up again with her anger as she drove away from the town, catching sight of John’s metallic navy blue Denali in the rear view mirror as it chased her down, and the cocktail of her resentment and the pursuit making her all the more determined.

Given the Jeep’s age, it was not the fastest car in existence, and the Denali had no problem catching up, Jacob moving up alongside of Giordynne as the driver’s side window came down.

“Pull over!” Jacob ordered, half pissed at her for stealing his car and half terrified she was going to wrap herself around a tree at any moment.

“Fuck off!” Giordynne yelled back over the noise of the engines and the wind.

“I mean it, Giordynne. Stop the fucking car, now!”

“I said FUCK OFF!” she answered back, swerving toward the Denali recklessly, causing Jacob to react fast to avoid a collision on the icy road by slamming on his brakes, allowing the Jeep to gain some distance again.

Righting the direction the Denali had turned itself when it stopped, Jacob barrelled back after the Jeep, again trying to pull up beside it to make another attempt to convince Giordynne to stop only to see a box truck approaching head on, forcing him into evasive manoeuvres once more.

Giordynne had seen the truck, knowing that Jacob would have to stop to avoid hitting it, and in those fleeting seconds, she sped up, unbuckled her seatbelt and swerved toward the ditch along the side of the highway.

The truck passed safely and cleared Jacob’s field of vision just in time to see the Jeep leave the road at speed and plough into the ditch, flipping onto its roof as it came to a halt in the snow-filled crevice.

“Oh no, no, no,” Jacob whined under his breath as the sight had him gripped suddenly with terror, swinging the Denali over to the edge of the road where the Jeep went over and leaving it idling as he quickly slid down the embankment, still muttering in panicked disbelief.

The eldest Seed brother was frantic as he started digging snow away from the drivers side door to open it, getting down on his belly and crawling inside to search for Giordynne, and upon finding no sign of his wife inside, his panic went into overload, freeing him of his anger at his car being stolen and fully replacing it with abject fear and dread as he screamed out Giordynne’s name and started trying to back out of the vehicle to search the perimeter for her.

He cried out for her again, scanning the ditch for blood or anything else that was out of place that would lead him to her.

Jacob was almost in tears when he heard movement behind him, several metres from the wreckage of the Jeep. Turning around, he saw a familiar shape hauling itself stiffly out of a bank of snow at the bottom of the ditch that had been half covered by a bush along the roadside.

She had jumped from the moving vehicle before letting it roll into the ditch, hitting the bush as she had dived out. It had broken her fall just enough to ensure she survived the jump but that didn’t mean she was completely unscathed, and Jacob saw that as he sprinted over, still calling her name when he skidded to a stop and started assessing her injuries.

Giordynne was clutching at the side of her ribs, the knuckles of both hands grazed almost black from the asphalt, and she had multiple cuts and abrasions on her face in a pattern that ran from the left side of her forehead, right down and across to the right side of her jaw, her skin already coming up in bruised blue and purple beneath the ruined mask of her makeup. It also quickly became apparent that she was missing her prosthetic leg.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Jacob reprimanded, his voice shaking. “You could have been killed!”

Giordynne’s eyes swung up to look at him sullenly, her tongue worrying at one of the cuts on her lip.

Jacob wanted to yell at her some more, maybe shake her to get through to her, but his anger fizzled. He grabbed hold of Giordynne and pulled her fiercely into his arms, squeezing just a little too tightly as relief took over and flooded through him. Giordynne winced in pain, but she didn’t put up any fight, pressing her broken face into the warmth of Jake’s shirt as tears stung her eyes.

“Don’t ever fucking scare me like that again,” Jacob scolded, his emotions getting the better of him as he clung onto Giordynne.

He sat in the snowbank holding onto her for several long seconds before the cold started to break through the adrenaline. Carefully turning Giordynne’s face up to look at him, he had to swallow back a fresh wave of sadness at seeing the damage.

“Are we even now?” he asked, figuring that her totalling his Jeep was justifiable payback for the loss of her Silverado.

Giordynne nodded, starting to shiver from the wet clothing she was wearing.

“Okay. Okay, let’s go home.” Jacob signed, his head bobbing in acknowledgement.

“You want to help me find my leg first?” Giordynne asked, waving her hand vaguely at the space were her foot should be.

Jacob sniffled out a small laugh and nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll look for your leg. But first, I am going to put you in John’s truck, so you don’t get hypothermia while I do.”


	37. Dissension

With Selena out of the picture, the role of Faith stood conspicuously empty, a murmur running through the Project over who would be chosen to be her replacement.

Several candidates were named for possible consideration, Giordynne’s own name briefly bandied about before Jacob put his foot down, citing that he had put far too much effort into training her for that to go to waste in being given a position that would see her having to divide so much more of her time between Joseph’s compound and in the Henbane Region overseeing the continued development of the Bliss with Dr Feeney, the latter throwing up the additional point that it would vastly increase the risk that she would once again be exposed by Aaron Kirby since he resided in the area and had made it his own personal mission to cause problems for Eden’s Gate by any means at his disposal.

Add to that that Giordynne was also still recovering from totalling Jacob’s Jeep just days before, and she would be out of action for even her existing duties for at least a week or two until she had healed satisfactorily enough to return to work.

In the end, the Father decided that a girl by the name of Ruth would take the role, at least until a more suitable candidate presented itself. Ruth was younger than the two previous incarnations of Faith had been, and she had come to Eden’s Gate the Spring before last, a recent college graduate from a Roman Catholic upbringing on the East Coast who had decided to bus it cross-county to give herself a little life experience and broaden her horizons now that she was out on her own reconnaissance. She had found herself in Hope County entirely by chance, the Greyhound she had been on had broken down during a stop at the Whitetail Mountains national park. Ruth had wandered away from the tour group at the visitors centre and happened upon one of the Father’s services that he still held out in the wide expanse of the county to help draw new followers who might have been too afraid to come directly to the compound, or, through some strange happenstance, simply did not yet know of the Project’s existence.

Instantly, she had been transfixed by the enigmatic character that was the Father, finding resonance in his words that had her abandoning the rest of her trip to put down roots right there in Montana. She had been living in Holland Valley ever since, at first put under John’s stewardship and assigned to one of the groups whose duties involved cooking meals to feed the Project members in that region, as well as her duties in going out into the community to preach the Father’s word.

It was her fervour and devotion to this second task that called her up to the role of Faith, as Faith was handpicked by Joseph himself and meant to be the embodiment of everything the Project stood for and its unwavering belief in the word of the Father.

With a new Faith assigned, life within the Project resumed as normal, as though Selena had never existed.

***

Two weeks had passed since the Project had accepted its new Faith, and while security was still tight throughout all of Eden’s Gate’s properties, scrutiny from the local authorities had largely died down, their attention moving on to more pressing matters now that the case in Falls End had been officially closed.

This meant that Giordynne no longer had to hide indoors, much to her relief, though she still had to be cautious. Thankfully, she was healing well enough that she could go about her usual duties at the Veterans centre with minimal issue now, and she was glad to be back in familiar surroundings that allowed her to be out in the open.

The previous two weeks had not been all bad. Even though she had suffered a couple of broken ribs, a concussion and some cuts, scrapes and bruises that had mostly faded and healed by now, Jacob had agreed to let her recuperate at the cabin instead of at John’s ranch, bringing Maverick up there to keep her company whenever Jacob had to go attend to Eden’s Gate business. In that time, Giordynne had followed Jacob’s lead and started teaching Maverick some basic commands in German, and the pup, although still very excitable and playful, had quickly mastered everything he had been taught so far.

_Sitzen._

Maverick’s hindquarters dropped immediately, the pup sitting to attention with his chin high and proud, tail beating the dirt behind him.

_Gehen._

The wolf pup leapt up from the spot that had been his mark and bounded toward Giordynne at breakneck speed. He hadn’t quite learned to judge his stopping distance yet as he went barreling into her leg, but the eagerness was there, and it earned him a treat, heaps of praise and scritches behind the ears.

Jacob was watching the scene across the courtyard from the corner of his eye, quietly pleased to see Giordynne back in her element and smiling again. Eventually, he strolled over and interrupted the little training session to get a progress report.

“How’s he doing?” he asked, crouching to tuck his fingers under Maverick’s muzzle and give his chin a gentle scratch, Mav’s tongue flicking out into Jacob’s palm as he snuffled and sniffed the new smells there.

“He’s doing great. Still a bit excitable, but it’s controllable now he knows what his motivations are.”

Jacob nodded in approval, moving to use both hands to heap affection on the wolf pup.

“Soon he’ll be ready to start his real training,” he appraised, Maverick making happy groaning noises at the hands working through the fur around his skull. “How’s that sound, little fella? You’re going to be big enough to run with the pack before you know it!”

A few more seconds of play and then Jacob stood back up and turned to Giordynne, Maverick whining in protest until another command was issued.

“Hey, I was thinking,” he began, broaching a subject he had been musing over for a while. “Since you’ve been training alongside my Chosen, and you’ve shown me just how capable you are, I figure it’s only fair to make it official and assign you a rank?”

“What, like make me a Chosen?” Giordynne questioned, a slight flicker of confusion creasing her brow.

“In a manner of speaking. I mean, that’s kinda what you’ve been training all this time for anyway, and you’ve demonstrated that you can run rings around a lot of the guys here, so,”

“What about all the stuff we’ve been doing to fix my PTSD? That’s not really in the training program, is it?”

“No, and I don’t think we need to do that anymore, given what happened recently, but let’s look at the positives? If anything, it has given you an edge nobody else here has, and it has put a few things in perspective about how I think training should go on from this point forward.” Jacob explained, though still not quite getting to the point.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I think you’ve proven you’re more than ready to take on a leadership role, and not just because you’re my wife.” He smiled, hoping Giordynne was warming to the idea without him having to try even harder to sell it to her. “Look, I’ve been in need of someone good enough to whip these recruits into shape for a while now. I’d rather it be someone I trust implicitly and whom I know is absolutely up to the task right now rather than having to train someone else for the position, so what do you say?”

“You had me at ‘make it official’,” Giordynne teased, affirming his request with a smirk.

***

Word had gotten around quickly that the Chosen had a new commanding officer, and for the most part, it went unquestioned since it was Jacob himself who had given the order.

There was, however, a small contingent who opposed the decision, though they dared not voice it within earshot of Jacob. That did not mean that the same courtesy would be held for Giordynne if Jacob weren’t around at the time.

She had been up at the firing range in the training grounds, checking in with the Rangemaster before inspecting the wolves in the cages at that end of the courtyard as part of her supervisory duties. The Rangemaster was among those who had accepted Giordynne’s seniority, having been present every time she had fired a weapon on-site, including during the trials Jacob had put her through, so he was more than aware that she had earned her rank.

It was only when Giordynne began to walk back to the entrance of the Veteran’s centre though that she met with the opposition that consisted primarily of a couple of lieutenants and lower-ranking Chosen who had not been present during the trials and thus had no idea what she had done to deserve suddenly outranking them.

As Giordynne tried to pass, one of the lieutenants stuck his foot out and rested it on the edge of a low wall, blocking her path.

“Move,” she ordered, sounding bored.

“Look, sweetheart, I know you think you get to give orders around here now Jacob says so, but we all know why you got the job,” the lieutenant sneered, a few of the others letting off jeers of agreement.

“Oh, really? And why _is_ that?” Giordynne shot back sarcastically, unfazed by the sudden air of hostility that surrounded her.

The lieutenant laughed, amused that he apparently had to spell it out for her.

By now, the men had formed a ring around Giordynne, blocking her exit on all sides. Little did they realise, though, that they were being watched from above, Jacob standing on the balcony outside his office, observing the exchange with interest.

“Everyone here knows you’ve been fucking Jacob since you joined Eden’s Gate,” the lieutenant shrugged, gesturing around the circle. “See, just because you managed to get him to put a ring on it don’t mean you automatically get respect around here. That shit is earned, and the way I see it, no little bitch who’s been screwing the boss is gonna get that easy from us.”

She almost burst out laughing at the lieutenant’s little tirade. It was comical at just how juvenile he sounded, like a boy in high school fronting up to try to look tough in front of his friends. Turning around, Giordynne’s eyes flicked up to the balcony, knowing damn well that Jacob was there, and with an exchange of devious smirks, she removed the combat knife from the belt scabbard on her thigh, tossing it over end as she turned back around to the lieutenant.

Not one of the men reacted to the sight of the knife, and that was their mistake. Giordynne let the lieutenant sneer for a moment longer.

“Easy? Oh, I’m not here to make it _easy_ , darlin’,” Giordynne taunted, going so far as to laugh along with the group as she flipped the knife in her hand one more time.

In the blink of an eye, Giordynne had caught the knife and thrust it into the side of the lieutenant’s throat, eliciting stunned and frightened cries from the other dissidents as she gripped the man’s opposite shoulder with her free hand, staring coldly into his panic-stricken eyes.

“How’s this for _easy_?” she asked calmly as the lieutenant sputtered and started to choke on his own blood, some of it spraying out of his mouth and splashing Giordynne’s face as he fought helplessly to breathe. “You’re nothing but a weak, pitiful, mewling thing.”

Jacob was gone from the balcony now. He had seen the moment Giordynne had established her dominance and was now rushing down into the courtyard to congratulate her.

The ring of men started to disintegrate, some of them stumbling backwards as Giordynne twisted the blade and yanked it out, pulling out a gush of crimson as the lieutenants jugular was completely severed, sending him crumpling to the ground in a pool of his own blood.

“Anyone else got a problem with my authority?” Giordynne interrogated as she rounded on the other men, staring them all down, watching them all recoil, some trying to scramble backwards after falling over in their haste to back away.

The stricken lieutenant was still making gurgling noises, staring up at the sky with the light rapidly fading from his eyes when Jacob came out of the Veteran’s centre, having quickly straightened himself up before exiting, clapping in slow applause as he approached the macabre scene.

“Well done, Giordynne, for rooting out a dissenter from our ranks.” Jacob commended as he broke through the circle and stopped beside his wife, casting a matching cold glare at every one of the men that had dared to not only call his decision into question but believed they could try to intimidate Giordynne without him finding out about it. He then briefly turned his attention to the downed man, who was, by no short miracle, still just barely alive and conscious.

“She’s right. You _are_ weak,” he growled, his face contorting with disgust as the lieutenant took his final breath.

Standing back up, Jacob saw that everyone else who had been going about their duties out front of the Veteran’s centre, as well as many who’d been indoors and heard Jacob come pounding down the stairs, had started to congregate, some having witnessed the incident themselves, while others just arriving were quickly filled in by those already there. Every face wore an expression of shock and fear, and their attention was wholly on the slaughtered man at Jacob and Giordynne’s feet.

Jacob decided to make use of the gathering, gesturing for those who lingered further away to come closer as he got up on top of the low wall to give himself height to be heard across the entire crowd.

“That’s right, gather round,” he instructed, waiting for everyone to get within earshot.

“Now, it has been brought to my attention that some of you have been doubting my judgement,” Jacob began, his tone already reflecting the theme of what he was about to say.

“That just won’t do. I realise now that I have made a mistake. I have been too soft on all of you, let you become too comfortable in your roles. You have become complacent, believing that just because you are my Chosen, that means you are irreplaceable. Well, no more. You see, what my sweet darlin’ Giordynne has taught me, is that, sure, I can train you all to fight; I can teach you survival skills until I’m blue in the face, but that does not mean you are strong enough to survive the coming Collapse.”

Jacob stepped down from the wall and began to pace around the circle, addressing everyone around him directly.

“No, I see now that you are all weak. Not one of you here had proven yourself half as worthy as this woman right here has.” He continued, putting his hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Giordynne, what do we do when we need to weed out the weak?”

“Cull the herd.” She answered, the iciness of her tone matching his.

Her response brought a proud smile to Jacob’s face as he paused momentarily.

“That is _exactly_ right. We cull the herd. So, from now on, in the coming weeks, each and every one of you will be given a brand-new test. One that will ensure that only those truly worthy to serve our cause are Chosen. Those that fail. Well, you will be joining your dead friend over there. Do I make myself clear?”

A resounding ‘ _Yes Sir’_ ran through the frightened and horrified crowd.

“Excellent,” Jacob nodded, drawing in a contented breath before his voice grew harsh again. “Now, somebody get _that_ cleaned up by the time I come back out here.”

Jacob simply curled an arm around Giordynne’s shoulder and escorted her away, leaving several of the audience to spring to life, break from the crowd and dither slightly as they tried to put their brains into gear to carry out the order, while the others dissipated and went back to their other duties, murmuring in scared, hushed tones among themselves.


	38. Indemnification

The metallic midnight blue Denali climbed the narrow access road up the mountainside with ease, thick tyres making short work of the gravel and dirt that comprised the road’s surface. The trip out to Missoula had been a long one, having taken all day, but a necessary one, as John had gotten on to a prosthetics specialist out there just after New Years to acquire some new legs for Giordynne after all of her spare ones were lost to the fire at Falls End.

Giordynne had had several consultations and fittings since then, and this trip out had been the final one to ensure a perfect fit and pick up the finished product.

John had told her to consider it a belated Christmas/Wedding present from him, and he assured that no expense had been spared in crafting the three new, custom prosthetics; one a more traditional, realistic style like the leg she currently wore, but had upgraded articulation and flexibility in the foot and ankle area and allowed her to wear shoes with different-sized heels without having to change which leg she wore, and the other two were modern, high-tech blade-type limbs made from carbon fibre, like those worn by athletes, and these were for the purpose of providing greater comfort, freedom of movement and speed under the demanding conditions of her new role within the Project.

Of course, John had had the blades embellished with a few stylistic custom accents, one carrying a red and black colour scheme to match that his sister in law had been making her own of late, and the second in plain, matte black, but with the red silhouette of a wolfs head emblazoned upon it. The more naturalistic leg he left blank, understanding that Giordynne was likely to want to personalise that one for herself as she had with her existing prosthesis.

As John’s vehicle crested a peak and the cabin slid into view, Giordynne caught sight of a large, unfamiliar black truck parked outside, close to the track that led out to the hiking trail. It didn’t immediately strike her as a vehicle that belonged to the Project, since almost all of the trucks Eden’s Gate used on a day to day basis carried white paint jobs with the distinctive flash of the Project’s insignia in clear view on the hood and sides. The only other vehicles belonging to them that did not bear the livery were private vehicles owned by a select handful of high-ranking members, including John, Jacob and the Father himself.

The truck also bore no obvious sign of belonging to local law enforcement either, but a small flutter of fear coiled itself in the pit of Giordynne’s stomach, a silent prayer going out that it wasn’t the kind of vehicle currently being used by authorities at a Federal level.

John seemed unfazed by the truck's presence, however, and he calmly swung the Denali to a stop directly out front of his brother's cabin, killing the engine and getting out, stretching a little from the long drive, before Giordynne had a chance to ask him if he knew who the black truck belonged to, or at least had a clue as to why it happened to be parked in what was more or less the cabin’s driveway. Giordynne stared the vehicle down hard as she got out of the Denali and took out her keys to open the cabin door, half hoping Jacob was inside, and hopefully not with any unexpected company. When she pushed the door open, Maverick bounded up from his bed to greet her excitedly. Jacob was not home though, and his absence made Giordynne’s concern and confusion more palpable.

John hadn’t said a word as he’d followed her inside, pausing just inside the door as Giordynne’s eyes fell upon a note on the kitchen table bearing her name, along with what appeared to be a set of car keys. She snatched up the note, casting a brief, squinting glance of suspicion back at her brother in law, who simply stood in the doorway wearing a nonchalant smirk that was uncannily similar to the one that often found its way on to Jacob’s face.

_My dearest Giordynne,_

_I know that you have been through some extremely difficult times in recent months, and I know it has been a struggle for you to adjust after losing so much, especially the truck your father gave you. I also know that I will never be able to replace something so important to you, but I hope you will accept this gift from me regardless. It may not be the same as your old one, but I thought it would please you to at least have the freedom back to go wherever you want, whenever you want._

_All my love,_

_Jake._

_P.S. I made sure this one has a back seat big enough for when Maverick grows up so you can take him out on the road with you too._

That small creep of fear vanished entirely, replaced with a flutter of a different sort as warmth filled her, blushing her cheeks slightly at the thoughtful gesture.

“Did you know about this?” she asked John, waving the note at him as she picked up the keys.

“Of course,” John laughed. “How else would Jacob have gotten you away from the place long enough for him to set all of this up?”

“Fair point. Was that the only reason you took me to get new prosthetics? Seems a bit of an overly elaborate ruse just to cover up surprising me with a new truck?”

“No, those are genuinely a gift from me. It just happened to be convenient timing, that’s all.”

Giordynne squinted at John’s smirk a little harder, but it was impossible to tell if he was lying, so she took his word for it.

“Jacob would have been here himself to hand over the keys, but he sent me a message not too long ago saying he got called down to the armoury to see to an issue with the delivery of a weapons and equipment shipment,” John explained, laughing again as he held up his hands in an honest gesture.

“Fine, I believe you,” Giordynne relented playfully, approaching her brother in law and giving him a hug. “Thank you for my new legs, John. I can’t even begin to tell you how much it means to be able to wear whatever shoes I want again instead of being limited to one style.”

“Oh, come now, I think I have some idea what it’s like to find your style choices limited by certain _impracticalities_ outside of your control.” He countered, patting her back gently before he added, jokingly “And if anything, it’s nice to finally have someone else in the family who understands the importance of personal aesthetics.”

“You mean like rocking a permanent man bun and an aversion to wearing shirts, even in the middle of winter?”

That had John chuckling freely. He wouldn’t dare make jokes about the Father within earshot of him, but in the company of Jacob or his new sister, he didn’t have to be so constantly high strung and on his toes.

“Yes, I suppose you could consider that an aesthetic choice on Joseph’s part,” he agreed heartily. “And then there’s Jacob.”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with Jake’s clothes. Especially when they’re on the floor.” Giordynne shot back with a grin.

The implication drew a faux-scandalised expression from John, his mouth dropping open and the words failing him for a few scant seconds.

“Now, now, what you and Jacob get up to in the bedroom is entirely between the two of you, and I will not listen to this salaciousness from you any further, young lady, lest you leave me no choice but to hear your confession so that you may atone for your lustful behaviour.”

“Oh shush! You know you love it,” Giordynne laughed teasingly.

“Moi? I would have you know that I serve the Project with only the purest thoughts and intentions.” John protested, feigning innocence.

“Oh yes, of course.” She nodded, reining in her fit of giggles and putting on her own pretence of seriousness. “Me too.”

John let out a sigh as the humour finally passed and allowed them both to regain some poise, John leaning an elbow on the door frame by his head as he cleared his throat.

“Well, anyway, I’m glad you are pleased with all of your gifts. I suppose I better let you get on with enjoying your new truck. I trust you’ll be heading out to the armoury to meet up with Jacob?”

“Yes, and thank you again. So much,” Giordynne smiled sweetly, letting out her own sigh.

“You’re most welcome, GiGi, as always. I’ll see you both later at evening service.”

“Bye, John,” she answered as John bade his farewells and ducked out of the door, Giordynne following him outside and standing on the front porch as John cross over to the driver's side of his vehicle, giving her a final wave as he turned the Denali around and headed back down the mountain.

Giordynne had given her new truck a good once over after John left. It was a Silverado, as her old one had been, though this one was a 2009 model, so practically brand new, with less than twenty thousand miles on the clock. The suspension had also been raised, and it had been fitted with mud terrain tyres to cope with going up and down the mountains in all weather conditions. On closer inspection, Giordynne also saw that the mud flaps and license plate had little red Eden’s Gate emblems embedded in them, as well as one in the form of a metal pendant on a rosary hanging from the rear-view mirror. The interior in her old truck had been cream and light beige, but the new one was all black, with red piping on the heated seats.

It might not have been the truck Casey had given her, but the effort Jacob had gone to in getting this one customised for her more than made up for it.

***

Down at the armoury, several large wooden crates stood outside in the yard having just been dropped off by the supplier. There had been a brief delay in their arrival after a discrepancy on the shipping invoice, but several pissed off phone calls from Jacob and a much more diplomatic one from John had finally gotten everything straightened out.

Jacob was prying open one of the crates with a crowbar when Giordynne’s new truck rolled into view and pulled in, pausing briefly at the gate while the guards verified it was her, then cruising into the yard.

There was a moment as Giordynne got out of the vehicle where Jacob attempted to gauge what sort of reaction he was going to get over his surprise, and when he was met with a grin from the woman who dashed over to him excitedly, he knew that she was pleased with him.

“I take it you like the truck then?” he inquired as he dropped the crowbar on top of the crate and opened his arms to catch Giordynne and pull her into his embrace.

“Yes, I love it. Thank you!” Giordynne enthused giddily, leaning up to plant a kiss on Jacob’s lips.

“Good. I’m glad you like it because it was a pain in my ass to keep from you.”

“I heard.”

Jacob huffed a soft laugh, nuzzling Giordynne sweetly before he let her go and picked up the crowbar again, wedging it into the small crevice he’d already worked in between the lip of the lid and the front of the crate that was almost the same height as Giordynne without her heels on.

“What did we get?” she asked, still riding the high of all the gifts she had been given today.

“See for yourself,” Jacob answered, pulling away large handfuls of straw and other packing materials to reveal the consignment inside.

“Wait, is that- Is that an LRAD?”

“Yup. The wolf beacons need a major upgrade now the packs have gotten wise to trappers in the area and started moving deeper into the mountains. I figured a few of these on each would extend the range on them at least threefold. I might also hold on to a couple for training purposes.”

“Makes sense,” Giordynne nodded, admiring her husband’s ingenuity. “Training purposes?”

“Yeah. Do you know anything about what happened at Waco?”

“You mean the _siege_ at Waco? That was the Branch Davidians, right? Not a lot. I think I was maybe nine or ten when it happened. All’s I remember is the news saying they were holed up inside that place for fifty days in a standoff with the ATF and stuff, and then they committed suicide by lighting the place on fire. What’s that got to do with these?”

“Fifty-one days, and not suicide. That was bullshit the Feds put out to cover up what really happened,” Jacob corrected, though it was understandable that Giordynne only knew that version of events with how young she’d been at the time. “Anyway, you know some of the sounds I used in trying to help your PTSD; the animal noises and such? They played the same kind of shit to the people in Waco to deprive them of sleep. Now, most people will tell you that LRADs weren’t developed until sometime in the early 2000s, but I have it on pretty good authority from someone who was at Waco that they were testing early prototypes on those poor fuckers in the siege.”

Giordynne looked bewildered, still not understanding the connection or where Jacob was going with this.

“I was thinking I’d try something similar to that with the Chosen, give them a little sleep deprivation and see if it helps expedite the conditioning process, or at the very least, really put their ability to cope and adapt to extremely mentally taxing environments to the test like what would happen if they were out there in a real warzone, just like we both went through.”

“Well, that’s one way to make real soldiers out of them, I guess?” Giordynne nodded in agreement, coming up from inspecting the contents of the crate to face him. “You´re in charge, so whatever you decide is necessary to train them, I´m on board.”


	39. Preservation

Sheriff Whitehorse hated that he had to go bringing all this up again. Hated that he would have to go disturb a grieving father to ask some difficult questions and give some even harder news, but here he was, and it was either this or have to follow official protocol and escalate the case to a federal level, and Earl Whitehorse didn’t want to do that. Not if he could help it.

It wasn’t that he did not want to do his job properly. Quite the opposite, in fact. He would much rather handle this inhouse instead of handing it off and having the FBI and god knows which other government agencies crawling all over the county and stirring up the hornets’ nest.

Hell, if how he’d seen the Feds handle other religiously-fanatical groups in the past was anything to go by, Whitehorse feared he’d be responsible for another Waco or Jonestown, and he didn’t want that amount of blood on his conscience, regardless of what folks were saying the Peggies were getting up to.

Still, this one thing could not go ignored.

The Sheriff knocked lightly on the trailer door, a fleeting feeling he should just leave things be passing through him the moment before Casey Fixman opened the door.

“Sorry to disturb you, Case, but I got something I think you should hear from me rather than someone else.”

Casey didn’t say anything as he turned and walked back inside, leaving the door open so that Earl could come in.

“Look, Casey, I hate that I even have to be here to say this an’ all, but I’ve had a couple of reports come in of sightings of a woman up in the Whitetail region they believe is Giordynne.” Earl sighed heavily, his eyes tracking over the interior of the trailer and the signs of a man who was clearly still in the pits of grief.

“My daughter is dead, Earl,” Casey responded flatly, flopping into a battered recliner across from the television.

“I know that Casey, but with all this shit that’s been going on around Eden’s Gate in recent months, I have to investigate, and I figured it would be better to talk to you myself and try and get all this straightened out so I don’t have to file a report that’s going to open this thing up wide open and take it out of my hands, alright? Now, I know you’re aware that if I was doing this to the letter, all I’d have to do is to get the court to sign off on an exhumation, but we’ve been friends a long time, Casey, and I don’t want to have to put you through that-,”

“So, what do you want me to do? Are you here to ask me to give you permission to go digging up my daughter’s grave? Because you know I ain’t gonna let you do that.”

Whitehorse knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere fast, having anticipated that this would be the exact response he would get from his friend.

“Casey, these sightings, they’re… The woman they have seen out there, she is covered in tattoos, got a prosthetic leg, and she’s always either in the company of Jacob Seed or not too far from where he’s at. Shit, Casey, one of them even asked a Peggie who she was, and the fucker turned around and told him she was Jacob’s wife. Now, if that ain’t her, then Jacob Seed has got a real particular taste in women. Do you see what I’m saying, Case?”

“Just leave it alone, Sheriff,” Casey warned, getting increasingly agitated. Earl saw that, but he needed something to put on the report when he got back to the office.

“You know I can’t do that. If Giordynne’s out there, then there’s some questions that are goin’ to need answering sooner or later, and she would be better off with us bringing her in than the Feds. You know that.”

Casey snorted a sardonic laugh, shaking his head.

“Do you really think that bastard would let you take her alive? Fuck, if he’s gone and married her, she might as well be dead for all the good it would do. There ain’t no way back from that, and even if by some miracle you could bring her in without anyone losing their lives, what then? She would spend the rest of her days rottin’ in a jail cell or mental hospital, and I couldn’t do that to her. Not again.”

Sheriff Whitehorse’s shoulders sagged as another, more defeated sounding sigh left him.

“So, you’re saying that you knew the woman they saw is Giordynne then?”

“You don’t get it, do you, Earl? I don’t care whose bones it is in that box outback of the Lamb of God church. That doesn’t matter to me. All that matters is you leave me alone with a memory of my little girl that doesn’t have Jacob fucking Seed’s bloody handprints all over it and let me hope that one day, she’ll come back to me. Until then, I would rather her be free and running around out there doing god knows what than puttin’ her in a cage, ‘cause that _would_ kill her. So, I am asking you, Sheriff, father to father, please don’t make me go through burying her a second time. Leave it alone.”

“Alright, Casey. I understand. I’ll see to it that these reports don’t go any further.”

Whitehorse knew he was going against his better judgement, and, more importantly, the law, but if Casey didn’t want him going poking around in the cult’s business for Giordynne’s sake, sometimes it was best to leave well enough alone.

***

They’d been hiking up in the Whitetails since the early morning, following the trail that ran right across the south sides of the peaks, straying from the trail every so often to locate another wolf beacon and check in with the trappers overseeing each one.

As they approached the location of the seventh though, Jacob frowned. They should have been able to hear the sound of elk in distress by now, but the air was quiet, aside from the sound of the wind in the trees and birdsong, and as he and Giordynne descended the slope along a dirt track that had been trampled through the underbrush, the smell of blood and decay caught on the spring breeze.

Down at the site of the beacon, the cabling on the device had been cut deliberately, and the two trappers assigned to the beacon had been slain, their corpses too badly picked over by scavengers to offer up an immediate indication of a cause of death. Between the bodies and the sabotaged beacon though, Jacob quickly built his suspicions, as even the wolves that had been trapped and caged had been slaughtered, the chains that held the traps closed also having been severed with bolt cutters.

Jacob was not at all concerned about the two men who had lost their lives. They knew what they had signed up for when they joined the Project. Killing the wolves, however, was unnecessary in his eyes, especially given that he recognised the dozen or so animals scattered around the clearing.

They belonged to a single pack, and all of those who had been slain were female, including the matriarch. This wasn’t just an attempt to prevent Jacob from taking more wolves from the wild. Whoever had done this had done so with the express purpose of preventing the Project from being able to breed viable young by removing all the fertile females from the gene pool.

Maverick whined and pulled on his chain, distressed by the sight and smell of his slaughtered kin, his cries growing more distressed by the moment as Giordynne knelt between him and the bloody scene to try to calm the pup, but his attention was fixed upon a particular spot and he would not let up until he was allowed to investigate.

“What’s the matter, Mav? What is it?” Giordynne asked, trying to follow the wolf’s line of sight to what he was looking at so insistently.

“Let him go,” Jacob instructed, also puzzled by Maverick’s behaviour, but wondering if the pup had perhaps noticed a clue and was not just twisting to free himself to mourn over the bodies of the other wolves.

Giordynne loosened the pups chain and set him free, Maverick tearing across the clearing the moment he was able to, pulling up fast at the body of the matriarch, burying his nose into her fur and prodding at her with his paw, before lapping at the downed female's muzzle.

Neither Jacob nor Giordynne realised at first, but the matriarch was still breathing, and when Maverick’s desperate prodding and licking drew a whimper from the female, Jacob hurried over.

The matriarch had two very noticeable gunshot wounds staining her sable coloured fur, and it was clear she was in a bad way, but there was something about the way her breathing laboured that just was not quite right to Jacob.

“Come here, girl, let’s get a look at’cha?” he murmured, shouldering Maverick out of the way and kneeling down to get a better look at the female, who lifted her head and growled weakly at him for a moment. “Hey, easy. I’m just trying to help…”

Jacob dove his right hand into the fur on the side of the matriarch’s neck, petting her soothingly to try to calm her down while he examined the rest of her, using his left hand to palpitate the wolf’s abdomen, feeling it contract unmistakably as the wolf heaved another shuddering breath.

“Alright, momma. I got you. Don’t worry. You just hang in there while I get your babies out, okay?”

Giordynne, who had been standing a few feet away, still trying to distract Maverick, heard what Jacob said.

“She’s pregnant?” Giordynne asked, eyes wide.

“She is, and she’s in labour. If I can’t get these pups delivered before she bleeds out, we will lose every last one of ‘em.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?

Jacob thought for a second, then took off his jacket and t-shirt before handing his shirt to Giordynne.

“As I’m pulling out the pups, use that to clean them up a bit and rub them until they start moving and making noise, then put them down on my jacket ready for the next one, okay?”

“Okay, I can do that.”

Jacob nodded and turned his attention back to the female wolf, Maverick still lapping at her muzzle and face in encouragement and comfort.

The first two pups came out without much difficulty, and as Giordynne cleaned them up and made sure they were alive, Maverick abandoned the mother to lick the pups instead, seeming to understand that they needed to be cleaned up and kept warm the way their mother would have done if she had the strength to. Unfortunately, the matriarch lost her battle before she could deliver the third pup of the litter, so Jacob had to resort to desperate measures to save the remaining pups, using his knife to cut open the matriarchs abdomen to perform a crude caesarean section. It was risky, given that one slip of the blade could injure or kill the pups, and if they did survive the procedure, there was still the risk of infection, but Jacob decided that it was worth it to give the litter a fighting chance.

By the time he had finished, there were six pups gathered in the warm confines of Jacob’s jacket, Maverick curled around them protectively to offer up his body heat, though he wasn’t able to give them their first meal, and it was imperative they get the litter down off the mountainside if the litter was going to make it through the night.


	40. Unnatural Selection

In the weeks that followed Jacob’s decision to shake up the way he trained and selected his Chosen had resulted in a number of very noticeable changes around the Veteran’s centre. The existing Chosen were the first that would be put through the new training regime, Jacob breaking them down into groups so that he could focus on one grouping at a time. That meant that one of those groups had the be the very first to experience the changes he had in mind.

John had recently acquired Elk Jaw Lodge upon Jacob’s request, and, for the most part, the Judge program was relocated there, though the kennels in the basement of the Veterans centre remained to house the Judges that were stationed to protect the centre. This left the cages at either end of the front courtyard empty, and before long, it became apparent what Jacob planned to repurpose them for as the first batch of men were forced at gunpoint to enter them, temporarily stripped of their rank and title for the duration of the new testing run.

That first group of fifteen were kept in squalid conditions barely better than the wolves had been. There was nowhere for them to relieve themselves, no bedding provided, and the only shelter from the elements came from the wooden walkways crisscrossing overhead, and some plastic sheeting covering the back and sides of the cages.

Jacob also denied them food, wanting to get them as close to a survival state as possible for this test, so by the seventh day, those held captive were reduced to trying to convince the men who remained free to sneak them some food (only to be refused, as Jacob had already told them that if anyone was caught disobeying his order, they would be shot on sight), or trying to lure rats and birds into the cage with them.

While the occupants of the Veteran’s centre, both caged and otherwise, slept, two figures moved stealthily about the yard in the dark, moving equipment into place, running power lines and other cabling about, trailing them back toward the building and throughout the hallways inside.

The sun had just barely begun to peek above the mountain range when the plan was put into action, the deafening sound of an electric guitar playing through a series of long-range acoustic devices positioned at strategic points around the courtyard disturbing the peace, waking every single soul in the vicinity of St Francis with Axl Rose’s piercing howl cut through the air, sending a flock of birds fleeing from nearby trees the moment Welcome to the Jungle kicked into full swing.

Jacob was up on the balcony outside his office, watching the mayhem below as the men in the cages were startled awake with such force that many of them screamed, the noise so loud it caused them physical pain, reverberating throughout their entire bodies.

The balcony was well above the path of the soundwaves from any of the LRAD’s, making the music much more bearable from up there, though it was still easily as loud as the front row of a rock concert or a jet engine powering up. This was exactly what Jacob had meant when he had told Giordynne he was going to use some of the LRAD’s for training purposes, and she had been more than happy to help him set them up.

As it was, Giordynne was by his side up on the balcony, enjoying the view. She had wanted to be down in the yard, banging on cage bars and antagonising the prisoners, but even with the best military-grade earplugs, that wouldn’t have protected her from the other physical effects that LRAD’s were capable of exerting on anyone unfortunate enough to be in direct line of the sound waves, and Jacob wasn’t about to put his wife in harm's way for any more experiments when she had already been through enough.

By the time the song had played out in its entirety, a few of those in the cages were pleading for an end to the torture, and one or two had suffered the horrendous misfortune of the sound waves causing them to soil themselves.

Jacob had a microphone hooked up and ready for the moment the song ended, and he snatched it up right as Axl Rose let out a final guttural “Huh!”

“GOOOOOOOOD MORNING VIETNAM!” Jacob yelled gleefully into the microphone, his voice amplified and thrown out through the LRAD’s so that it sounded like God himself was speaking through Jacob, directly into the cages at ear-splitting volume.

“Now that I have your attention, I’d just like to remind y’all not to get too comfortable down there. This is just the beginning of what I have in store for you, and believe me, it’s going to get a whole lot worse for you before it gets better, so get ready, and remember, if any of you fail, tap out, beg for your momma’s or for mercy, I’ll feed you to my Judges, piece by fucking piece, while you’re still alive.”

Jacob spoke into the microphone with the tone of a radio DJ on the early morning breakfast show, syrupy-sweet with a hint of malice in his warning, not just to those in the cages, but to the ones who had that treatment yet to come.

With that, Jacob pulled the microphone away from his mouth, a loud whine of feedback briefly pulling more howls of pain from the cages before the LRAD’s fell silent in the early morning air.

***

Two weeks had passed with each batch of prisoners being torn from what little sleep they managed to get by Jacob’s daily wake up calls, changing the song every day so they couldn’t get used to anticipating that would assault their ears and bodies. The sleep deprivation, physical effects from the sonic blasts and the extremely limited access to food quickly began to separate out those who could adapt to extremes of mental and physical punishment and those who couldn’t, with those who could becoming more ruthless and determined with every passing day.

The ones who didn’t have the mental and physical fortitude to weather it were pulled from the cages and dragged over to the firing range where they were lashed to stakes made of rebar and broken concrete, their arms tied above them. The only saving grace they were afforded was that Jacob put sacks marked with red crosses over their heads so that they couldn’t when death was coming for them, and to dehumanize them to the ones who had so far passed every test Jacob threw at them.

If any then faltered when it came to shooting at their former brothers in arms, they too were to join them, until Jacob had started to rebuild himself an army that consisted solely of those he was certain would do whatever it took to survive the Collapse and protect Eden’s Gate, including killing one of their own without a flicker of hesitation. Within six weeks, Jacob had worked his way through the entire existing contingent of Chosen, whittling the troops down from almost three hundred men to less than fifty. To have lost so many men was disappointing the say the least, but it made Jacob ever more certain that this was the way forward to ensure that only the best of the best would earn their place in his Chosen.

The Father had taken only a little convincing that this was the way forward, Jacob insisting that this was the only way to build soldiers that would lay down their lives in service of Joseph’s vision, but once the Father was on board, more recruits began to be siphoned toward Jacob from both John’s and Faith’s charges, and of these new recruits, Jacob selected those who would receive standard combat training and be sent back to the other heralds to continue with their existing assignments and those who would be funnelled into the selection process for the Chosen.

This new system quickly proved to be of great benefit to the Project, as it meant that all members would eventually receive some sort of weapons and survival training; something many had been lacking from Eden’s Gate’s inception, as not everyone who came to them and joined their ranks had come from a background where they had a familiarity with firearms of any kind, especially many of the women.

It also meant that feeding costs for the Judges were reduced now that there was ample fresh meat on hand, freeing up resources from the hunters and trappers to feed the burgeoning numbers of followers flowing into the Project.

All that remained was for John to work his legal magic to keep the authorities off their backs when their informant at the Sheriff’s Department contacted him about the filing of another missing persons report, John creating paper trails of doctored evidence for each one that suggested that all of those who had disappeared had simply moved on to other places and callings beyond the boundaries of the state, and thus out of the jurisdiction of anyone in Montana.


	41. Persecution

_He should have known it was too good to be true._

The keys had been lying there in the dust within arm’s reach of the cage and nobody seemed to have noticed. Being starved for over a week wasn’t exactly conducive to thinking straight though, and he’d quickly snatched up the keys and scrambled to the back of his cell to hide them under the pile of filthy cardboard that he slept upon, hoping like hell nobody cottoned on to what he was doing.

Escaping in broad daylight was not an option. Even if he got the cage door open, the yard would be crawling with armed guards and at least a half a dozen Chosen, all within shooting range. Even though the road was no more than ten metres away, he wouldn’t make it more than two.

Biding his time until nightfall had been hell all on its own, the sheer terror and panic that someone would realise the keys were missing and call for every square inch of the Grand View Hotel to be scoured until they were found very much the occupying thought in his head. More so than the maddening ache of emptiness that gnarled his gut in the absence of food. There would be plenty of time to satisfy his hunger if he could just hold out long enough to wait for darkness and a change over in the security detail. Maybe then he would have a shot of slipping away unnoticed.

He was practically delirious by the time the sun sank beneath the mountain range and the long shadows stretched out, reaching across everything like talons raking at the earth, but he had formulated the bare bones of a plan, thankful that it wasn’t the St Francis Veterans Centre he would have to make his escape from, as that would have been certain death the moment he opened his cage, no matter the time of day or night.

If he could get out onto the highway, he would maybe have a shot of waving down a vehicle that did not belong to the cult. Otherwise, he could use the thick cover of the forest to disappear into and hike his way to some semblance of safety.

Now came the tricky part.

Most of the nearest cages were empty, their occupants having already been plucked from them and dragged inside to undergo whatever torture Jacob fucking Seed had devised to turn them into compliant, brainwashed soldiers in the name of Eden’s Gate. The contingent of guards was fewer at night, down to a skeleton crew of just a handful of men, with perhaps one Chosen to oversee the operation, and it was almost time for the shift change to take place, headlights approaching and streaming down through the trees toward the abandoned hotel.

The moment he saw the two guards patrolling the rear of the building head inside, he knew he had only what amounted to a matter of seconds to put his plan into action before the next set took up their posts.

He almost fumbled the keys in the lock, cursing himself as they jangled noisily when he almost dropped them.

Carefully. _Careful…_

The cage door swung ajar with a slight whine of unoiled metal, and he had to catch it to ease it open so that it would not bounce back and alert the guards to his breakout.

Slipping through the small opening he had made, he left the keys hanging in the lock, abandoning his prison and any other poor unfortunate soul that might have benefitted from him tossing the keys their way.

Survival of the fittest, _right_?

He was up over the wall and running as fast as his half-starved legs would carry him, which wasn’t easy given that he’d been stuck in a cramped cage just barely big enough to stand up in for the better part of two weeks, but adrenaline and his desire to get the ever-loving fuck out of there overrode any physical limitations as he scrambled along the edge of the parking lot, trying to keep low so he didn’t draw attention to himself before he burst across the road beyond and up the embankment, making for the treeline.

That sweet moment of relief washed over him as he dove up the slope, clawing his way through tree roots and bushes, ecstatic to the point of tears. He was free.

He didn’t hear any gunshots.

A slight stinging sensation in his right flank caught his attention suddenly, pulling at the fabric of his dirty, tattered shirt. Pausing briefly, he tried to turn to look, thinking he’d snagged himself on a thorn or something until he saw the needle-tipped dart sticking out of his body, the sight bringing with it both a sudden wave of nauseating disorientation and the horrific realisation that they knew he was out, and, more importantly, where he was right at that moment.

Two figures stood in the flatbed of a truck out front of the Grand View Hotel, silhouetted against the glare of two floodlights, now aimed squarely in the direction of the escapee. The smaller of the two had a tranquillizer aimed at the treeline, having fired the shot. The larger figure, who had been observing approvingly, turned to furnish the woman by his side with a kiss, brushing his thumb along the curve of her jaw as he gave permission to start the hunt.

“Go get ‘em, sweetheart.”

With that, Giordyne handed over the tranquillizer gun and hopped down off the truck, shouldering her trusty SA-50, a recurve bow and a quiver of bliss-tipped arrows as she gave chase.

The escapee had taken those few seconds and used them to the best of his advantage, breaking into a sprint as soon as he cleared the top of the slope and had some even ground ahead of him, despite the bliss coursing through his system. It hadn’t been a full dose. Just enough to hamper his efforts to flee and make more sport of the pursuit.

Giordynne knew she could chase him down with ease, especially if Jacob turned their judges, Maverick and Goose, loose and let them trail her, but she wanted to draw things out and let her prey think he stood a chance at getting away, so the wolves stayed chained and under Jacob’s control back at the Grand View for now, and if the little fucker managed to actually give her the slip, she had a radio on her, just in case.

If the hunt were going to last, the escapee would need a head start that was at least long enough for them to get beyond the high beams of the floodlights cutting through the forest and out into the darker areas.

The bliss was starting to make him hallucinate, the stars visible through the gaps in the canopy gaining little halos and lurching sideways, leaving little trails that made them hard to focus on, but there was no time to look up at the sky when his freedom, and likely his life were on the line, so he pressed on, trying to blink away the distortion from his vision and get enough of his bearings to figure out which way he was going so that he didn’t accidentally loop back on himself and walk straight back into the jaws of his captors.

It wasn’t long before he made it to one of the many tributaries from the river that ran through the area, the terrain clearing, but the ground turning rocky and slick at the water's edge. For a moment, he thought to just follow the river down until he found salvation, but the way was too open, with nothing to offer him cover and conceal him from the hunter on his tail. His only other option was to try to wade across, hope that it was not too deep and make for one of the hiking trails that would hopefully take him to some cabin he could find shelter in.

There wasn’t a moment to lose in making his choice. The water it was.

It was freezing cold in the Spring night, carrying runoff of the winters snow from the mountains, and the shock of it against his skin gave him enough of another adrenaline hit to counteract the bliss for several seconds as he waded out, the water reaching his waist by the time he got halfway, stumbling blindly over the rocks and pebbles on the bottom, praying not to slip and lose his footing until he had made it all the way across, dragging himself up the bank on the other side.

With his clothing now soaked through and adding extra weight, along with the deep chill making his muscles stiffen as he started to shiver, he almost started to regret the choice he’d made until he chanced a quick glance back, not seeing anyone following him.

That was not nearly enough to tell him he was in the clear. He had made the mistake of thinking that way only minutes before and he wasn’t about to do it again. Not until he had real, concrete evidence he was safe, and that would only come if he made it to somewhere occupied by someone who wasn’t affiliated with the cult, which in itself didn’t exactly have favourable odds since Jacob Seed had taken up residence in the Whitetail Mountains. The only real hope he had was that maybe the militia Eli Palmer had been trying to put together to fight back were patrolling somewhere in the area.

Giordynne knew where her prey was heading. The terrain that lay on the other side of the river would funnel her prey along one of two routes. One that ran steeply up into the mountains and through territory where they had a wolf beacon set up, and one that took the track back down the incline, eventually looping back toward the road that headed out to the west entrance of the Whitetail Mountains national park. Between the bliss she’d darted him with and the fact he was now cold and wet, it was far more likely that he’d take the easier route that ran down the slope and back to civilization, so she adjusted her course accordingly, following the river as her prey had first thought to but made an error in his panic.

A few minutes downstream, the river widened as it ran over a shallower area, bringing the water level down to knee-length and exposing larger stones that protruded from the bed, allowing Giordynne to hop across with ease and resume the pursuit, hearing wolves howling in the distance that heralded Jacob releasing the judges to apply pressure to their quarry.

Cresting a ridge, she took out a pair of night-vision hunting binoculars and used them to scan the thick cover of the forest toward the trail. As anticipated, the escapee had taken the easy route, a green bipedal shape staggering along haphazardly through the underbrush below, about fifteen metres away.

Stowing the binoculars, she brought up her bow and nocked a bliss-tipped arrow, again using its infrared sight to acquire her target, then letting the arrow fly.

The resulting cry of pain in the dark told her that it had found its mark, the arrow burying itself into the meat of the man’s buttocks and delivering another dose. He whined again as he tried to pull the arrow free, only managing to break the head off inside his body, buried under the skin a few inches below the back of his hip, forcing him to limp now as the realization he wasn’t making it out of there began to close in as fast as the woman hunting him down.

A distinct howl rose through the trees, nearer than before, telling both the hunter and the hunted that the judges would soon be with them.

It was time to end this game.

The trail further down the slope was illuminated by a rest area that comprised of several picnic tables and a wooden awning by some bathrooms that hadn’t been open to the public in several seasons, the doors and windows boarded up to prevent entry. This place would provide no rest and relief tonight. It would serve only as one final fleeting glimpse of peace and tranquillity before hell closed in, the line of the ridge banking right toward it, offering the perfect opportunity to strike.

As the man reached the fuzzy edge of the glow cast by the streetlights that lit the rest area, a shape came at him from the side at around shoulder height, its movement giving it enough momentum to knock him entirely off his feet and sending him crashing to the ground, his skin scraping and grazing into a bloody, muddy mess as gravel bit into his flesh like claws ripping into him.

In the confusion, he first thought that one of the judges had caught him, but the shape made short work of pinning his shoulders so he was flat on his back, metal glinting in the light as a blade was tucked tightly under his chin.

The woman sitting on his chest couldn’t have been more than five feet five inches tall, but she’d been trained to hit like a freight train, taking down prey that was twice her size and weight with a practised skill that left no doubt who she was loyal to. Especially given the sick game that had just played out at his expense, though that wasn’t the reason he knew exactly who she was, and the twisted grin on her lips as she pressed the knife ever tighter to his throat, cutting him a little, made his blood run far colder than the sight of any judge.

At least with the judges, death came swiftly, albeit agonizing as they tore a man apart, but they were simply animals that had been trained for the purpose and the thought of dying like that immediately seemed far more preferable to what likely awaited him beyond this moment.

Just past the rest area, headlights melted in with the existing illumination, the trucks engine idling as heavy boots hit gravel and approached, just as the judges sprang into view from the other end of the track, halted by a single word in German before the second figure came into the captured man's field of vision and looked down at him, appraising the takedown briefly.

“What should we do with him?” Jacob asked, his smirk as twisted and bloodthirsty as the one on Giordynne’s face as he ran his hand over the side of her head, stroking her hair affectionately.

“I have some ideas,” she answered, nuzzling into his palm, knife still pressed to their prey’s throat.


	42. Excavation

Jacob’s plans to extend the cabin quickly expanded beyond that notion when he had been clearing out some of the overgrown scrub between the rear of the structure and the mountainside, uncovering an excavation in the side of the slope that appeared to be the remnants of an old root cellar, assumedly built around the same time as the cabin had been, as a means of storing food for its inhabitants through the harsh Montana winters before mechanical refrigeration became commonplace.

The door had completely rotted away over the decades, and it was clear nobody had set foot inside for at least as long as Jacob himself had been walking the earth. Closer inspection of the entrance’s interior revealed a rudimentary lighting system comprised of some old knob and tube wiring that predated the 1930s and had long since ceased to be functional, let alone safe.

Based on initial his findings, Jacob hazarded a guess that there was a good chance nobody had been down into the space since before at least World War II, maybe even right smack dab in the middle of the Prohibition era when Montana was rife with bootleggers.

Jacob’s suspicions were confirmed as he ventured deeper into the excavation, the passageway opening out into an exceptionally large room cut directly into the bedrock of the mountain, its footprint larger than that even of the cabin. Within the dust and cobweb covered recess, Jacob spotted some items left behind by the last inhabitant who had been down there, the beam of his flashlight passing over several metallic shapes that were unmistakeable as components of at least one moonshine still. The vats and coils of piping were green with oxidization, but the environment within the clandestine brewery was bone dry, so the ancient stills had not been completely claimed by corrosion in the impressive eighty or ninety years they’d been down there.

Whoever had carved this place out knew what they were doing. As far as Jacob could tell, based on how dry it was, there wasn’t a single crack or leak in the ceiling above, and the floor was composed of soft, dusty earth that presumably had been lain over the exposed rock below to provide stability and good drainage if there ever was a spill.

It was a hell of a find; the sort that might even be worthy of gracing the illustrious halls of some museum somewhere, but thoughts of antiquity were in fact the last thing on Jacob’s mind when he stumbled across it. No, he had much more practical and private uses in mind for the space, and he began drawing up plans in his head to go with the ones he had already committed to paper for the cabin’s extension.

Sure, it would likely add another year or so onto the projected completion time for the whole thing, but with what he had planned, it was more than worth it.

He was still down in the depth of the cellar when Giordynne arrived home. She got out of her truck and let hers and Jacob’s judges, Maverick and Goose, out of the backseat and into the cabin, calling out for her husband and getting no answer, telling her that he was likely out back, since the vermillion red 2004 Ford F150 he’d gotten after Giordynne wrecked his Jeep was still parked up outside.

Leaving the wolves inside the cabin, she went back outside and walked around back. Still no sign of Jacob, but she did find the same doorway-shaped hole in the mountainside that he had uncovered while clearing the scrubland out for the proposed extension, as well as recent footprints leading inside.

“Jake?”

Giordynne entered the hole tentatively, mindful to observe the state of the structure and any potential safety hazards since she had no idea what she was about to walk into and rather not end up stuck in what might have been a mine for all she knew if the roof decided to cave in on her. She also didn’t have the luxury of a flashlight to guide her through the dark passageway either, as the light from outside only stretched part way inside, forcing her to put her hands out on either side and trail them along the parallel walls of the tunnel, groping blindly along once she lost any ability to discern what was up ahead, hoping she didn’t run her fingers through a nest of bugs or spiders as she went deeper in.

Calling out Jacob’s name again, she was mildly relieved to finally get an answer, Jacob calling back as the beam of his flashlight swung in her direction, half blinding Giordynne for a moment before the beam fell against the wall, illuminating the space around them both instead.

“What is this place?” Giordynne asked, her eyes starting to adjust to the gloom enough to make out the vastness of the space.

“Looks like an old bootleggers stash from the Prohibition days,” Jacob answered, looking pretty damn pleased with his find. “I thought it was just a root cellar at first, but when I got down here, I saw the stills.”

He ran the flashlight over the pile of green metal in the corner, then brought the light back close again so that they could both see.

Giordynne didn’t look quite as thrilled as Jacob. Her expression was a little more confused, though she could see the excitement in his face, so she rolled with it.

“You’re not thinking of getting into the moonshine business, are you, sweetheart? I mean, I don’t think Joseph would be all too pleased to find out you were breaking the no booze rule in spectacular fashion, do you?”

Now that she mentioned it, Jacob did entertain the idea for a moment, but he thought he better explain what exactly he did have in mind.

“No, actually I was thinking more along the lines of converting it into our own private bunker.”

“Ah, so you’re going all Doomsday Prepper on me instead?” Giordynne quipped, realising the moment the words came out of her mouth that that was exactly what the Project at Eden’s Gate was all about, causing her to wince visibly and retract. “Scratch that. You know what I mean.”

Jacob laughed, setting the flashlight down on the ground so that the beam was cast upwards, lighting up the space around them as he strode towards his wife and wrapped his arms around her lovingly.

“I know what you mean. I just figured, _if_ Joseph is right and the Collapse did come, chances are it’s going to be something that won’t leave us a lot of time to get to either the armoury or the silo John’s been converting, especially if we’re up here when it happens, so why not have a backup plan and a second bolthole, just in case?” he murmured, nuzzling Giordynne tenderly. “What do you say, me and you, seeing out the apocalypse cozied up in our own private bunker? Who knows what we could get up to down here to pass the time until it’s safe to go topside again?”

“I can think of a few things,” Giordynne purred luridly, letting her mind wander over the fact that they could make as much noise as they wanted to, and nobody would hear them. “Alright, you’ve convinced me. Let’s kit the place out properly though. No point in having a place to hole up for a few years without the right supplies and equipment, right?”

“Of course. Only the best for the love of my life, _always_.”

“Oh, and who is _she_? Should I be jealous?” Giordynne pouted, feigning playful ignorance, knowing Jacob loved it when she teased him.

“I think you know,” Jacob hummed close to Giordynne’s ear, a smirk etching on his lips as kissed her throat. “and I think everyone should be jealous of her. I know I would be if I wasn’t the lucky son of a bitch who gets to go to home to her.”

“Mm tell me more,” she sighed heatedly, biting her bottom lip.

A delicious shudder ran through Giordynne’s body that had her feeling a little weak in the knees, GiGi clutching at the front of Jacob’s shirt to steady herself. Not that Jacob would let her fall, his grasp on her just as possessive and needy as hers on him, but if the mood continued in the direction it was heading, they’d have to make a choice sooner or later about the practicalities of acting on it or moving to a much more appropriate location.

“How about I _show_ you instead?” he growled, pressing hips against her, removing all question of what he was referring to, not that there was any doubt to begin with.

Giordynne deliberately acted oblivious again, keeping the tease going to ramp up Jacob’s growing impatience, a wicked grin flashing across her face as he stole a searing kiss from her, then Jacob picked Giordynne up and slung her over his shoulder with another enthusiastic growl, giving her ass a playful slap as he marched quickly toward the exit and back to the cabin.


	43. Combustion

The scent of smoke hadn’t been enough to wake him, having grown up around fire in so many of its forms, from all of the times he’d been camping with his big brother to watching him straight up lighting things on fire for shits and giggles, out of boredom or petty revenge for some perceived slight. Their grandparents had both passed by the time Nathaniel Boshaw turned ten years old, leaving just the two brothers, the older taking on legal guardianship of the younger despite reservations from one or two observers that Sharky wasn’t really the best choice for a surrogate parent.

Tonight, their concerns were about to be proven correct.

There had been nothing remarkable about how that day had started. It was Halloween, and the trailer park was decorated accordingly with jack-o’-lanterns, plastic skeletons and a whole host of other props that had been picked up from one of the larger pop-up party store chains in the next county.

Sharky had gone all out, even though there were not very many residents living at the Moonflower these days. Not since the last fire that had taken out several trailers and everything the occupants owned along with it.

Other than Nate and Sharky, the only person that still kept up rent of one of the remaining trailers was a guy Sharky referred to as Tweak and told Nate to steer clear of on account of the guy being deep into the kind of drugs even Sharky and cousin Hurk wouldn’t dare touch; the sort that turned good, honest folk into liars and thieves who’d sell their own Grandma for a fix. Nate always got the impression that there was more to Sharky’s dislike of the guy than just the kind of drugs he took or sold, but the kid could never get a straight answer out of his brother if he ever brought it up.

Previous years, Sharky had taken Nate all over the county to go trick or treating, especially over to Falls End where the residents took to the festivities with gusto, the whole community turning out for the fun as all the kids ran up and down the rows of houses amassing enough candy to see them right through to Christmas, while the main street that ran through the town was closed off to vehicles so that stalls and games could be set up and enjoyed by everyone, from apple bobbing up by the church, to face painting by the town’s resident tattoo artist.

This year, though, Sharky had made the call to keep Nate at the trailer park and throw a bit of a shindig there instead, citing that it wasn’t safe anymore. Not since someone Sharky once called a close friend had died in suspicious circumstances, with Sharky convinced that those cult bastards were responsible in some way or another.

Nate hadn’t minded, understanding that the whole thing was a sore point for his brother, and Hurk and Sharky had made a point of making things as fun as possible at the trailer park regardless, even if that fun mostly involved the older two slamming brewskies and Sharky using a flamethrower to roast a hog over the firepit. Nate was getting a little old to be dressing up and going door to door anyway, and most of the other kids around his age were already moving onto other ways of celebrating the holiday.

He was only fourteen, but Sharky had let him have a few beers so he didn’t feel left out. Being so young and not at all used to drinking though meant that the alcohol went quickly to Nate’s head, and by 10pm, he was feeling more than a little worse for wear, drinking suddenly not fun as the landscape lurched and rolled nauseatingly.

The teen got up from the lawn chair he’d been camped out in for most of the night near the firepit, mumbling his way through excusing himself from the party so that he could go crawl into bed and hopefully stop the world spinning long enough to fall asleep.

Staggering back to the trailer, Nate stopped at the corner of it, leaning on the wall to steady himself as another wave of nausea rolled over him.

He couldn’t hold it back any longer, Nate’s stomach flipflopping and emptying its contents back out the way it had come in, the kid projectile vomiting several beers worth of liquid against the metal siding of the trailer, causing it to splash back a bit onto his clothes, but he was too drunk to notice or care. A few more heaves and Nate started to feel slightly better, leaning his forehead on his arm against the trailer wall for a few seconds to make sure he wasn’t going to throw up again.

When he was sure he had finished vomiting for now, Nate stumbled the last few feet to the trailer’s porch, almost tripping on the steps as he groped wildly toward the door and yanked it open haphazardly.

The lights were on inside, making Nate blink painfully as the brightness stabbed at his retinas, the boy raising one hand to shield his eyes for a moment before he turned away from the kitchenette and wobbled his way down the short hallway to the welcoming darkness of his bedroom, managing only to take off his hoodie and t-shirt in his drunken state, then abandoning his efforts to get undressed, slumping heavily onto his bed.

Cold cotton fabric against the side of his face felt like heaven, the sensation enough to take his mind off how sick he felt. Nate had never been drunk like this before, and the closest thing he could liken it to was the time he got the flu one winter that gave him a fever so bad it made him delirious.

Nate was glad that he had vomited up everything that was in his stomach. It stopped his head from swimming just enough that he could close his eyes without feeling like he was on a rollercoaster, letting him pass out into a dreamless sleep for several hours, blissfully unaware that his brother and cousin had continued to party well into the early hours, Hurk going home sometime around 3am and leaving Sharky to finish off the last few beers and what was left of the bag of weed they’d broke out for the occasion once the kid had gone to bed.

Sharky had also passed out at some point after Hurk left, the firepit still burning as the late October wind started to pick up, blowing over a cheap, flimsy folding camping table set up nearby that had on it a plastic gas can Sharky had used to get the pit going. The can of gas was sent tumbling to the ground, the remaining contents glugging out of the open cap. Sharky had left the can at what he’d thought was a safe distance from the pit, setting it a good ten feet away, but he hadn’t accounted for the slight downward incline he’d set the table on that stretched down to the hole that had been dug out and lined around the sides with cinderblocks to make the pit. As the table and the can tipped over, gravity did the rest of the work, gasoline snaking its way over the concrete toward the fire, seeping between a gap in the cinderblocks to ignite the trail of flammable liquid in an instant.

The flame licked back along the stream in seconds and engulfed what was left inside the can, melting the plastic and releasing a fiery puddle that spread out and began consuming anything and everything else it could find to fuel it.

Sharky only woke when it got hot enough to make him keenly aware something had gone terribly wrong, the fire now an out of control blaze that was rapidly moving through a couple of the remaining trailers. In the confusion, it took a moment for Sharky to realise that one of the trailers that had caught alight was the one his baby brother had gone to sleep in earlier, sudden panic filling him with the realization as he ran toward the burning structure, shouting his brothers name and hoping like hell that the kid had already gotten out before the fire fully took hold.

He had to be sure though, trying to shield his face as he dodged the flames coming out of the open doorway, the smoke thick and acrid, making Sharky’s eyes water and his throat feel like it was closing up as he only got a few feet inside before the flames beat him back, blocking off the route to the bedroom.

The first the kid knew of the fire was a sudden and inexplicable dry, burning sensation that filled his nose and throat, making him cough hard enough in his sleep that it dragged him from unconsciousness. He opened his eyes and found that he could not see anything. It wasn’t just that it was dark. The smoke that filled the room was so opaque that it was as though Nate hadn’t opened his eyes at all, and the burning was starting to reach all the way down into his lungs, choking him as he stumbled, blind and disoriented in the dark, reaching out to what he thought was the door and tugging his hand back as his palm touched something so hot that it hurt.

He turned back, feeling his way along the wall, praying that he would soon reach the window and that he could find something to break it with so he could get out before he burned to death, his throat so scorched that he couldn’t shout for help.

Nate found the window but couldn’t find anything to break it with, helplessly pounding on the soot-blackened glass with his fists, the smoke and fumes starting to make him feel dizzier than the beer had.

His head pounding sickeningly, Nate felt like he was suffocating, slumping to the floor as he resigned himself to his fate, hoping the smoke would finish him off before the fire finally got to him. His brain felt like it was filling with static, the roar of the fire beyond the door starting to tune out as a different kind of darkness began to close in around him, pulling the boy down like the tendrils of sleep.

Sharky had abandoned his rescue attempts, knowing there was no way he could contend with the raging inferno by himself now, so he’d gotten back to a safe distance and called the county’s fire department, praying that they got there fast enough to save Nate if he was still inside the trailer. Those hopes vanished for Sharky the moment the propane connection beneath the trailer was breached, the gas explosion ripping the trailer apart in the blink of an eye and sending a fireball dozens of feet into the night sky.

Little did Sharky know that as the blast tore through the trailer, the resulting air pressure of the expanding ball of fire had blown out the end of the trailer where Nate had been trapped, the kid thrown clear in the process, though seriously injured.

When he came to, he was lying on his back in long grass, patches of it around him burning here and there from where flaming debris had landed. The flames were climbing high into the sky, and every part of him hurt in ways he had never experienced before. That did not stop his fight or flight response kicking in though, adrenaline forcing him to his feet and telling him to run, even if, in shock and confusion, he had no idea where he was going. His only instinct was to get out of there and try to find someone who could help him.

His head ached like someone had hit him over it with a shovel, the pain centring itself right behind his eyes, and he still struggled to pull enough oxygen into his scorched lungs to allow him to keep going, but his feet kept moving until the adrenaline finally ran out and his brain started to register the collective input from the injuries he’d sustained in the blast.

By the time he started to slow down, he had gotten deep into the woods, the fire no longer visible beyond a faint, distant glow through the treetops. His skin was red raw and felt like it was being stretched to breaking point, even the slightest current of a breeze agonizing as it raked across the fresh burns that covered him from the waist up, and he couldn’t remember anything other than the choking, blackening sensation and the wall of fire that had set him on his course.

Though his skin still felt heat, the nerves beneath began to register that the night was bitterly cold, the chill setting deep into the boys muscles and wrapping itself around the state of shock he was in, threatening to drag him back into those dark depths again, ramping up the possibility he would not wake up from it this time around.

He saw lights up ahead. The seemed far away, but they were strong and bright enough to convince him they were a beacon of his salvation and he set off toward them, realising the pained whimpers and cries he heard were coming from himself as he dragged himself forward.

The boy had managed to get close enough to the lights to make out the outline of a house just beyond their bright halos, relief breaking through the pain and panic like a wave of euphoria. It was short-lived, however, when he heard a threatening yowl in what looked like a metal pen by the house. He might not have been able to remember very much about what had happened to him, but a more primal part of his brain recalled what a cougar sounded like, telling him that this was perhaps not the safe place he was seeking after all.

Especially when the distinctly angry voice of an older woman yelled something unintelligible that was followed by the crack of a warning shot let off from a shotgun.

This had him fleeing for his life all over again, the fear having him tripping and stumbling over his own feet as he scrambled away, hoping neither the cougar nor the shotgun-wielding woman knew he had ever been there.

As he stole a glance over his shoulder to assure himself he wasn’t being pursued by either, his foot caught on an exposed tree root, sending him spilling to the ground, dirt and grit grinding into his already excruciating wounds, forcing a piercing cry from his blistered lips as pain wracked his body all over again and stole the air from his lungs for several moments while he fought to regain enough strength to press on.

Lumbering through the thinning woodland, desperate eyes finally fell on the black ribbon of highway that stretched out under the starlit sky, punctuated along its length by streetlights, the curved span of asphalt glittering like a grin.

Something shifted in the undergrowth nearby.

His blood ran cold as he looked toward the shape that had emerged, expecting to see the big cat unleashed from its pen, but what he saw instead was no less of a threat as two eyes set into a large, distinctly triangular head caught the light, ears flattened and jaws emitting a low growl, ready to strike.

The boy’s chances of outrunning the wolf were slim to none, but the highway was less than fifteen metres away, and the blessed glow of headlights were cresting over a hill not much further away.

If he could just get to the road….

As far as Hail Mary’s went, this would be as close as one would likely ever come, the kid using what little he had left to throw himself forward toward the road with the wolf in hot pursuit, snapping viciously at his heels.

He daren’t look back now, knowing that it would be certain death if he did. The only hope he had left was to not have to look death in the face when it came for him.

The red pickup swooped down the sloping road after it had come over the peak of the hill, casting its high beams over the landscape immediately ahead, illuminating two distinctly different shapes, both running directly toward the road ahead. There was only a split second moment to make sense of the scene and react, the truck screeching to a halt as the human figure tumbled the last few feet down the embankment and out into the road, knocked immediately to the ground by the wolf chasing him.

Slavering jaws snapped and snarled in the blinding beam of the headlights, trying to get at him as he put his arms up to defend himself, frantically attempting to prevent the animal from tearing his throat out, but it was quickly becoming a losing battle, the wolf far stronger than the severely injured boy it was intent on making its meal.

Two car doors slammed.

A bolt-action rifle cocked.

The hot, stinking breath of the wolf made the kid’s stomach lurch violently, jagged jaws inching closer to their mark.

A loud crack split the air and the side of the wolf’s skull exploded, blood spattering the boy’s face as the weight of the beast crashed down on him.

The last thing he saw before he blacked out were two pairs of combat boots silhouetted against the glare of the truck’s headlights.


	44. Detention

They had been coming back from the Halloween party John had thrown at his ranch for the members of Eden’s Gate, tracking back through the northern part of Henbane River to get back home. There had been nothing remarkable about the journey beyond a puzzling glow on the horizon to the south that suggested firelight, but nothing that had been particularly alarming at the time since they saw no emergency vehicles on the stretch of road they were travelling on.

Peaceful quiet quickly devolved into chaos the moment two figures caught in the headlights of the truck though, one human-shaped and one distinctly lupine.

The truck had screeched to a halt the moment sense was made of the scene ahead, Giordynne handing Jacob his rifle as they got out of their vehicle synchronously to the wolf lunging at the fleeing figure of a young boy, half-dressed, clearly injured and in a life-threatening state of distress.

Jacob cocked his rifle and aimed, sending a .50 calibre round cleanly through the animal's skull, dropping it in a heartbeat as Giordynne grabbed the first aid kit they kept in Jacob’s truck and followed him to the heart of the carnage, Jake grabbing the scruff of the deceased wolf and dragging it off the boy so that Giordynne could assess the damage and the kid’s chances of survival.

The kid could not have been more than fifteen at most, tall but still very much baby-faced and spindly-limbed, not a patch of budding facial hair to be seen. He’d passed out seconds after Jacob had put the wolf down, no doubt from shock, which further complicated the fact that the boy was only dressed from the waist down, bleeding profusely from both his head and multiple bites and defensive wounds on his arms, and, beneath a layer of mud and grime, had sustained very recent burns. It was a horrifying sight, and for a moment, Giordynne had her doubts the kid would make it through the night, but they couldn’t leave him lying in the middle of the highway to die in such a godawful state.

Giordynne applied gauze to the wounds on the boy’s arms to stem the bleeding as Jacob went back to the truck and retrieved an emergency blanket to use as a makeshift stretcher so they could move the kid and get him into the back of the truck.

She rode in the back, cradling the boy’s head in her lap all the way back to the Veteran’s centre. Jacob had considered taking them back to the cabin, but Giordynne insisted that she needed more medical supplies than they had there, and the Veteran’s centre was at least adequately set up for a multitude of medical emergencies, including treating animal bites and blast injuries, so that was where they went.

Jacob radioed ahead to tell one of the lieutenants on duty to prep everything Giordynne would need to clean the kid up and treat his wounds, as well as ready a bed for him in the empty ward next to the administration office that Jacob used as his headquarters on the grounds.

There had never been a child anywhere within five hundred metres of the Veterans centre after Eden’s Gate took over the place, so it was of dire importance that, if the kid managed to survive his ordeal, he wasn’t to be disturbed by the usual goings-on at the centre, and all Eden’s Gate dealings were to be kept away from him until Jacob and Giordynne had more information on where the child had come from and how he’d gotten into the state they found him in.

Number one priority right now though was to do everything within their power to try to save his life.

The lieutenant that had received the radio call from Jacob had also contacted another female member of the Project that had been a paramedic before joining Eden’s Gate so that Giordynne would have an experienced extra pair of hands to assist the former military medical technician in treating the boy’s injuries.

Both women worked tirelessly until well after the sun came up. It had taken several hours to get the boy’s wounds cleaned of all dirt, debris and grit, the lacerations on his forearms sutured and dressed, the cut on his head glued shut and the patchwork of second degree burns across his torso and arms to be cleaned, treated with antibiotic ointment and bandaged, as well as administration of a systemic antibiotic and pain relief before the boy was moved up to the ward on the third floor of the building.

Giordynne and Jacob took turns to watch over him to make sure that he didn’t go into respiratory or cardiac arrest, since they didn’t have any of the usual machinery that one might find in a hospital to monitor a patient's vitals. Giordynne would have preferred to take the kid to a hospital anyway with how severe his injuries were, but her and Jacob showing up at any hospital with some random kid in such a terrible state would raise a hell of a lot of questions that neither they nor anyone else at Eden’s Gate would wish to answer, especially on the off chance someone happened to recognise Giordynne, who was technically supposed to be dead, as far as Hope County law enforcement were concerned.

No, it was easier for Giordynne to call upon her medical training once more and treat the kid herself, then worry about how to return him back where he came from when he was out of the woods and on the road to recovery.

The boy was kept sedated for several days once Giordynne was satisfied doing so wouldn’t have a detrimental interaction with the head injury he had sustained, allowing for much easier pain management and monitoring his burns for signs of potential infection that would pose the worst threat to his life now that the rest of his injuries were considered much less serious.

This gave Jacob time to make some inquiries, asking John to do a little digging to see if any reports had been made regarding a missing kid or a possible house fire in the Henbane region.

The best John could come up with without raising any suspicions by going directly to the Project’s informant on the inside of the Sheriff’s Department was one of the local newspapers that had an article on the second page reporting on a fire that had torn through the Moonflower trailer park on Halloween night, destroying most of the trailers at the park and that police believed there had, tragically, been a life claimed in the accident, though it didn’t speculate or elaborate on who had apparently perished.

When Jacob returned with a copy of the newspaper in question, Giordynne had been up in the office, catching up on lost sleep now that the kid was stable enough to be left unattended for a few hours.

Jacob came into the room quietly, disturbing only Maverick for the moment, who had been having his own snooze curled up on the floor at the foot of the bed where his owner slept. The wolf let out a little huff and a grumble before he stood, stretched and shook himself out, the chain around his neck jangling loud enough to finally wake Giordynne from her nap.

“Did you find anything?” she inquired groggily, rubbing her face with her hands to shrug off the remnants of sleep.

“Not much, but maybe something,” Jacob answered, picking the newspaper back up, opening it to the page with the article and handing it to her, tapping at the picture of the ruined trailer park.

Giordynne only had to read the first few lines before the pieces fell into place, the colour draining from her face as she realised that she actually already knew who the boy was, or at least _had_ known him at one point.

“Oh no,” she muttered under her breath, feeling a sudden rush of panic. “No, no, no. It can’t be? _Shit_!”

“What is it?” Jacob asked, looking confused and concerned by the sudden shift in his wife’s demeanour.

Giordynne put the newspaper down and ran her hands up her face and through her hair, her eyes darting back and forth as she thought through several things at once, including her sudden sense of panic.

“I know who he is,” she explained, her voice raising an octave. “His name is Nate. He’s Sharky’s baby brother.”

“Who?”

“Sharky? He and I were pretty close back when I was in high school. I used to live at the trailer park with my dad, and Sharky’s grandparents owned the place.”

“How come you didn’t recognise the kid when we brought him in?”

“Because the last time I saw him was when I shipped out on my second tour. Nate would have been, what? Nine at the time? No wonder I didn’t recognise him. I haven’t seen the kid in like, five years, and he sure as shit doesn’t look nine years old anymore.”

Giordynne picked up the paper again and read on a little further to make sure she had a full grasp of the situation.

“We need to take him back to Sharky, Jake. Like, right now!”

“Is that wise? I mean, is the kid in any fit state to be going anywhere right now?” Jake countered, knowing what they would be risking in showing up with the kid in his current state.

“No, but Sharky thinks he’s dead when he’s not. I can’t do that to him, or Nate. We can’t keep him here, Jake. He’s going to want to go home when he wakes up anyway, so the sooner we take him back, the better.”

“How? We can’t just show up on the doorstep with the kid. Or at least, you can’t. You’re supposed to be dead, remember?”

“Yeah, don’t fucking remind me. I don’t know, maybe we can have someone drop him off at the clinic in Holland Valley and get them to call Sharky or whoever?”

The situation was rapidly turning from generally complicated to an all-out crisis. This was not something John could likely work his legal magic on to make disappear. Not without at least a little scrutiny from the Sheriff, and once that started, it was liable to open up into a much bigger investigation that neither of them was prepared to allow, both personally and on a larger scale in terms of the Project.

“Would it not be better to at least wait until the kid is in better shape? It might work better in our favour if the kid is up and about and well on the mend?”

“It’s going to take weeks before his burns heal enough for that, Jake. We can’t hold onto him for that long without telling anyone. It’s not right.”

“I know but letting him go now is going to cause a lot of problems either way. Are you sure you’re prepared to bring that down on us? Because I’m not. I promised to protect you, and I am going to have a real hard time doing that if the Sheriff comes sniffing around. The last thing we need is a criminal investigation because we sent the kid back to his brother and he decided to call the cops on us. Can you guarantee this Sharky guy isn’t going to do that if we send the kid back?”

Giordynne sighed and shook her head. If she knew anything about Sharky, yeah, he didn’t particularly like law enforcement himself, but he liked Eden’s Gate a hell of a lot less, so Jacob showing up with Nate would be busting the hornet's nest wide open for both of them.

“So, let’s just wait it out a little bit longer, get the kid back on his feet, and then maybe we can drop him off somewhere safe after we convince him not to turn us into the Sheriff? That has got to be better than taking our chances by sending him home right now. And besides, what kind of home has he got to go back to if it burned to the ground anyway?”

“Jake!” Giordynne shrieked incredulously, her temper starting to fray as they descended into an argument.

“Look, the article in the paper says the grandparents passed away years ago, and how well is this Sharky guy taking care of the kid if he’s setting the place on fire, huh?”

“What are you saying? That we keep Nate permanently? Jake, that’s fucking kidnapping!”

“I’m saying that if we send the kid back, how long before social services steps in? What then? The brother loses custody anyway and the kid gets bounced around the foster system for the next few years until he ages out? How is that better?”

It had been part miracle, part wrangling on Earl Whitehorse’s part that Sharky had gotten custody of Nate in the first place, so Jacob had a point about the possibility of social services taking a renewed interest in the kid’s case, but the fact he was bringing it up was far more telling of how the whole thing was opening up his own wounds regarding his upbringing and time in the system, and the guilt he still fiercely held onto over getting separated from John and Jacob after the fire at the farm.

“Jake,” she sighed, her anger losing its edge upon realising why he was bringing that point up. “I get it, okay? I do, but we can’t just keep Nate. You know that’s not how it works.”

“And if it did?”

The question stung in a way Giordynne had not anticipated. They had been together almost two years, but neither had broached the subject of having kids, especially given how much of a sore point it still was for Giordynne that she had already been robbed of one possible child, but if there was some way they could legally take on guardianship of Nate without it causing problems with Sharky, Giordynne would take it in a heartbeat. This was, unfortunately, not something they could make happen though.

Her anger had been stolen from her completely now, replaced by that twinge of pain and bitterness that lingered from her own loss, and it had become more than apparent in those few moments that had just passed that Jacob was harbouring a desire to make up for some of the things he lost out on in his childhood by preventing another kid from slipping through the cracks if he could help it.

There was a long silence between them as the dust of the revelation started to settle, Giordynne trying to figure out if there was anything at all they could do that would satisfy all parties involved while Jacob leant on the edge of his desk, an imploring expression on his face that said he wasn’t willing to let the kid go if there was any chance he’d end up in the hands of social services.

Eventually, Giordynne let out a growl of a sigh and looked up at her husband, a defeated light in her eyes.

“Look, I’m not saying that we can keep Nate, alright? But maybe you are right about letting him recover first and then talk to him. I mean, if he is going to listen to anybody, it’s going to be me, right? I will just… explain to him that he’s safe and we only kept him here because we wanted to protect him while he got better, but he can’t tell anyone it was us who helped him. Not even Sharky.”

“Do you think it will work?”

“What other option do we have?”


	45. Complication

The first sight that greeted bleary eyes that had been closed for several days was a crack in the plaster on an unfamiliar ceiling, a spidery thread running through dulled white, chipped and flaked off at a few junctions, stretching out well over a metre from its root at a light fixture.

It was somewhat gloomy in the room, just enough sunlight filtering through gaps in the paint that had been hastily applied to the windowpanes at some point in the past to cast shards across the floor, a fine scattering of dust drifting in and out of them. There were more signs of dilapidation in the paint on the walls that peeled in several spots, the room vast and cavernous, empty beyond the bed he had woken up in, a nightstand and a nearby chair.

He did not know this place.

The realisation sent a flash of panic through him and it had him trying to sit up on reflex.

A jolt of pain shot through him that overrode the panic in an instant, knocking the air from his lungs that were also incredibly sore, sending him into a coughing fit that renewed the agony with each spasm of his body until he felt like he couldn’t breathe at all.

He had not noticed the security camera up in the corner of the room, the red light illuminated to indicate that it was very much still in operation.

Within moments, the person who had been watching over him via the camera came bursting into the room in a hurry to try to calm the boy and stop him from causing himself further damage in his efforts to get up out of bed.

“Hey, no, no. Don’t try to get up,” the woman soothed, expressing clear concern for him. “It’s okay, you’re safe here. Just relax, okay?”

He didn’t feel like relaxing. He felt like literal Hell.

There wasn’t much of a choice in the matter though. Trying to get up was causing him even more pain than he was already in, and it quickly won out as he flopped back down against the pillow, defeated and bordering on tears as he tried to bring the coughing under control.

“Where… am I? What happened to me?” he croaked, his throat feeling as dry and abrasive as sandpaper.

“You’re safe,” she reiterated, gentle hands applying the lightest of pressure to get him to lay still. “There was a fire. You’ve got some burns, but they should heal well enough. When we found you, you were on the side of the highway being chased by a wolf. We got to you just in time.”

If the evidence wasn’t horrifically evident in the injuries to his body, he might have thought the story to be too farfetched, but it was hard to ignore the fact that the nerves in most of his upper body felt scraped down to the bone, and that he was heavily bandaged over all of the affected areas. It also explained why his lungs and throat felt so raw, and his lips were so dry and cracked, the blistering having reached the stage of being stiff and tight.

“Do you remember anything about what happened?”

The boy had started to relax again now that he was getting answers. The woman did not seem to present a threat to him despite her having quite a lot of tattoos and a vaguely intimidating sense of personal style.

He thought for a moment, searching his brain for anything in the still dense fog he had woken up from. Coming up empty, he shook his head.

“That’s alright though. Sometimes, when a person goes through something traumatic or gets hurt, the brain shuts the memory out, so it’s perfectly understandable that you can’t remember it right now, okay?” the woman explained softly, being careful to reassure him that he was in good hands. “I just need to ask you a couple more questions though, if that’s alright?”

“Yeah,” the boy nodded, though he slightly regretted it as it felt like his brain was rattling around his skull with the motion.

“Do you remember what happened earlier that night? Before the fire, I mean?”

“No.”

“Okay, that’s fine. How about where you live? Can you tell me that?”

Hesitation. Another hoarse ‘no’.

The expression shifted slightly on the woman’s face. It was only a brief flicker, but the boy saw it and took it as a bad sign.

“What’s your name?” she asked cautiously, gauging his response carefully.

There was a long pause as that answer too evaded him, the boy’s own expression growing fearful when he realised, he did not know what to tell her.

“I-,” he faltered, getting tearful again. “I don’t know.”

“Your name is Nathaniel. Does that sound familiar at all?”

“No. Why can’t I remember?”

The moment she saw him starting to panic once more, she quickly reverted to comforting him.

“Nate, the night you got hurt, you took a pretty nasty blow to the head at some point between the fire and us finding you, so that might also have an effect on you remembering things. It will come back with time, alright? Don’t panic, I’ll take care of you until then, I promise.”

Her efforts to soothe him weren’t unappreciated, but the fact that he couldn’t even remember basic details about himself, like his own name, was far more distressing to him than could be remedied with gentle words and promises of care, especially when he didn’t even know if the woman who was talking to him was someone he had known before he got hurt.

“Who are you?” he asked, needing to at least have something to identify her by in the meantime.

“You can call me Gigi.”

“Do I know you?”

Giordynne hadn’t expected him to ask, so there was a split-second pause as she debated what to tell him, as laying the entire truth out on the table right now would likely overload Nate and do more harm than good.

“You do now,” she countered, sidestepping telling him any more than he needed to know right now.

“You said ‘we’ when you said you found me,” Nate pointed out, clutching onto what little information he had gleaned for some sense of stability in the vast chasm where his memory had previously been.

“I did,” Giordynne acknowledged with a firm nod. “Me and Jacob, my husband. He was the one who killed the wolf right before it got the chance to kill you. We brought you back here and I patched you up and treated your wounds. You’ve been here almost a week.”

Another name that held no meaning or familiarity to Nate but hearing that this Jacob had ended the wolf’s life to save his had him making a mental note to at least thank the man if he got the chance to. Having his own name and the names of his saviours still did not answer the question about where in the hell he was though. The place looked vaguely hospital-like, which was odd because he could remember what a hospital was, but nothing of his own personal details, but if it was a hospital, it was one that was seriously run-down or had been one formerly, since Gigi’s clothing didn’t exactly look like something a doctor or nurse would likely wear.

“Where is ‘here’?” Nate asked, hoping to get a straight answer as Gigi had been quite forthcoming with them so far.

“The St Francis Veterans Centre. It used to be an old military hospital back in the day, but now it is used as private accommodation and a training centre. Jacob and I run the place.”

So, it was a former hospital. The part about it being a training centre sounded sort of vague though, but Nate’s head was starting to feel like his brain had come loose again and exhaustion was quickly beginning to catch up with him, and that didn’t go unnoticed by Gigi as the kid winced visibly, shutting his eyes tightly as a twinge of pain throbbed behind his eyes.

“You need to rest. I will bring you some food when I come back later, okay? You got anything, in particular, you’d like?” she murmured, pulling the sheets back up to Nate’s bandaged shoulders and putting the back of her hand to his forehead to check if he had a raised temperature.

“I don’t know. I can’t remember what I like.” He smiled awkwardly, the gesture pulling at the dry skin on his lips, feeling like they were cracking all over again.

Gigi returned a smile of her own, glad that the kid had at least a glimmer of a sense of humour in his situation. He would need that spirit to get through his recovery.

“Get some more sleep, kiddo, and I’ll see if I can’t rustle up some pizza or something, yeah?”

***

“Is the kid awake?” Jacob asked when he got back from having been over at the Fathers compound, and then at the armoury for most of the day, only now getting back to the Veterans Centre after dark.

“Yeah.”

“And? What did he say?”

“He can’t remember what happened to him.”

“Makes sense.”

“He couldn’t even remember his name, Jake. Do you know how big a problem that is?”

“Sounds more like a problem solved to me.”

“Jake, we are _not_ going through this again. Chances are his memory loss is _still_ just temporary, but- “

“But what? If it’s permanent?”

“ _If_ it’s _long-term_ , then we have a whole other problem on our hands, especially after what I noticed when he was eating earlier.”

Jacob looked confused at what Giordynne was getting at. If the kid’s memory loss was a permanent thing, then surely that would work in their favour, or at least in terms of Jacob’s desire to keep hold of the kid instead of sending him back to the brother who, in Jacob’s opinion, was clearly not capable of taking care of the boy properly.

“What do you mean?”

“Nate was having trouble picking things up and holding them.” She sighed, looking slightly distracted as she thought through a few things.

“Well, he _is_ hurt, and he’s all bandaged up. It’s not easy to move when it causes you pain. You know that.”

“No, it wasn’t that. It’s his fine motor skills that are affected. Between that and the memory loss, I’m starting to think that maybe he’s got a lot worse going on than just a concussion, and if it is, we’re talking a possible traumatic brain injury, which means we’re going to have to bite the bullet and take him to someone who knows a whole lot more about that than I do.”

Giordynne was right, that was a much bigger problem, but perhaps still not as big as the one of sending the kid back where he came from.

“What would he need for that?” Jacob inquired, trying to be pragmatic.

“A neurologist at the very least. They’d probably have to do scans and run tests to find out how much damage had been done and what his prognosis for recovery is. Even if we took him to the clinic in Holland Valley, I doubt they have the right diagnostic tools there, so they’d probably refer him to the hospital in the next county.” Giordynne mused, making an educated guess at what would be necessary to accurately diagnose Nate’s condition so that it could be treated correctly.

“Sounds complicated and expensive.”

“Yeah, and that’s not even considering if he will need rehabilitation or physical therapy to improve his motor skills, plus a whole bunch of other medical problems it could open the door to long term. Sharky doesn’t have the kind of money to cover all of that.”

“No, but John does.” Jacob shot back, latching onto this as further proof to solidify his belief that Nate was better off staying in their care.

“Jake, we’ve been through this…”

“I know but hear me out. John could get him in somewhere private, no questions asked. He would get the best care money can buy without anybody needing to know anything that would raise suspicions or have the Sheriff knocking down our door. And if it turns out the kid’s memory loss is permanent, why cause him more trauma and pain by sending him back to a place he doesn’t remember? At least this way, Nate is properly taken care of and he doesn’t have to suffer any more than he already has, so what’s the harm in getting him the medical treatment he needs and seeing how things go from there?”

Giordynne didn’t answer, a scowl set onto her features for the longest moment, not wanting to give Jacob the satisfaction of her conceding to his logic on the matter, but he had a point about asking John to help financially with Nate’s recovery.

“ _Fine_! We will talk to John and see what he can do to help, but that is all. I am not agreeing to anything else. I’m just doing what’s best for Nate, alright?”

“Understood.”


End file.
